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Friday, March 21st, 2003
9:42 am - gary c.

we'd spoken on a local bbs, and we seemed to hit it off. gary was easy to talk to, intelligent, involved with computers.

he invited me over.

gary was a bit strange - taller than i, with a spock-esque haircut, a little on the heavy side. he had an easy, crooked smile and a friendly manner. we watched teevee and talked for a while, until i reached over and unbuttoned his jeans.

he grew hard quickly under the ministrations of my mouth, swelling and moving with every flick of my tongue. he tasted clean as i ran my tongue up the length of his cock, then down and around his balls, stopping only to remove his pants completely to provide better access.

he came quickly, his semen pulsing out of him and onto my cheeks, my neck, my breasts.

later i learned he was in the porn business, and that he hadn't had sex since his divorce almost two years before, that he wanted to see me.

i saw him - and many, many others - for three years...

(10 ejaculations | spew for me)

Saturday, February 1st, 2003
12:48 am - gene

he was a friend of a friend, much older and black as a starless night. he had an eye for pristine young blonde girls. i was seventeen, blonde and sweet and pure, full of teen angst and restlessness and something i couldn't quite put a name to.

my friend donna and i were at gene's house out of boredom and because there was always something going on there. i'd also just run away from home and i needed a place to hide for the duration. that night there was plenty to do: pot, booze, reds, acid - and me, apparently.

he led me into his bedroom, his woman asleep in the living room with everyone else. it was cool, so we slipped off our clothing quickly and slid under the sheets...

i was nervous, and somewhat apprehensive about giving it up, so i touched, then stroked him, my hands unbelievably pale and small against the blackness of his flesh. he came quickly, moistening my hands and spewing with enough force to dot my breasts with his cum, then stayed hard while i played and brought him to orgasm again.

and again...

and again...

by dawn he was sliding his hands over my cum-drenched titties as he forced his cock into my virgin snatch, teaching me how to scream and bite and cum...

(6 ejaculations | spew for me)

Friday, February 1st, 2002
4:41 pm

"I will sense the emptiness
where once you breathed"


- executed killer Stephen Wayne Anderson; from "Unchained Visions, #9"

(5 ejaculations | spew for me)

Monday, January 21st, 2002
2:39 pm - jeff

i told him i was having coffee with j., and he met us there. i was attracted to the strength of his features - part asian, seductive almond eyes, thick dark hair. his smile alone sent electricity to my thighs.

he connected with j. almost immediately, admitting to the same bi-polarity and schizophrenia. they discussed medications and treatments and side-effects. i had no base of familiarity.

i was amazed at how animated he became when speaking of these things, how lovely and bright his eyes were when discussing his emotional disease - as if being somewhat deranged was his life, his love, his sole interest...

they spoke for hours, and i kept myself amused by reading the days news or half-listening to their conversation when i thought i heard something interesting, then smiling and nodding as if their words were important to me.

he drove us home, dropping j. off at her house where her husband was staying up, waiting for her to return. he doesn't like her spending time with me...

jeff drove me to my home, then walked up my porch with me in the faint grey dawn, asking if he could stay for a while.

we talked about everything but his bi-polarity and schizophrenia, laughed and giggled and talked some more until he finally laid back on my bed, where i joined him, my head on his chest. i felt warm and content, felt i'd found a male with whom i could hold a realistic friendship.

it was moments before he forced my throat down over his rigid cock, fingers in my hair as he directed the force and speed of his desire... i wore his cum on my face until we woke and he face-fucked me again.

and yet again...


i won't see jeff anymore either.

(2 ejaculations | spew for me)

Sunday, December 16th, 2001
1:18 am - mark

we'd spoken online for about a year, both of us using the same peer-to-peer file sharing program. after i moved i saw him on icq and messaged him. we figured out he lives about seven miles from me, and decided we should meet for coffee...

he was bright and intelligent, and conversed well. he worked for toys-r-us and had children and an ex-wife and lots of baggage - a real family man. he kept staring at my mouth, my barbell as we talked.

we talked until 3am. when we got to my home he kissed me and slipped his tongue between my lips, telling me he'd never kissed a woman with a barbell before...

the following night he picked me up and took me to his home. his children were asleep in the living room, all sprawled across the floor and wrapped in blankets. he led me upstairs, making strained polite conversation.

i knew what he wanted.

i patted the bed next to me, and he lay beside me on his back. i ran my leg up his thigh and let it rest lightly on his belly, my thumb in his navel, my fingers playing with the tiny hairs on his stomach. he was beautiful in his own lower-middle-class custodial parent kind of way, and i couldn't help but lick my way down, past his belly, past the fine hairs, past the waistband of his trousers...

hard, rigid, hot - i could never resist. i knew he'd been inside someone else, but he tasted sweet and i didn't mind. i justified his fascination with my pierced tongue, and when he was too close to orgasm he gently positioned me on my back and slipped his tongue between the lips of my snatch, jerking off my all-too-hard clit with the tip of his tongue, making me cum many, many times...

he straddled me then, slipping into my mouth, then between my tits repeatedly - and i came when he spewed sweet hot jets into my face, my mouth, my eyes...

he was up again in minutes, and i let him cum in my ass...


*sigh*


i don't think i'll see him again.

(1 ejaculation | spew for me)

Friday, November 30th, 2001
4:03 am - ben continued

he was sweetness, touch, taste.

we finished our lunch and he led me down the hall to the elevator, to the room upstairs.

i was trembling.

he locked the door, then turned to touch me. he was so... achingly beautiful, so unnervingly magnetic. he pressed his lips to mine and i could feel the fire rise like liquid lust from my soul, my heart, between my now moist thighs...

he gently pushed me onto my knees before him, and i made the smallest circle of suction for him, the sweetest oh of lips, licking only the head over and over and over - then plunging my throat over him completely and listening to him gasp, throat, gasp, throat, then his moans...

he is the deadliest of pleasures.

he placed a smooth black cloth over my eyes, then led me to the bed, pushed my legs up onto my chest and fucked me until i came, wetly, almost screaming. when i felt him tether my ankles and knees i came again, my clit throbbing and jerking so much he tried to stop it with his tongue...

i couldn't stop this time. i just. couldn't. stop.

he turned me over and pushed me face down into the pillow, and i felt him rub his hardness between my wet lips, up and down, up and down, making me wetter than i was when i was sucking him.

he gently took my hands, pulling them behind me, and i could feel him place my wrists together. i almost came when he wrapped the smooth nylon cord around my wrists, my arms, fucking me with just the head of his cock until he was finished restraining me.

i couldn't move, i couldn't breathe, i couldn't get away. he used first my hair, then the ropes around my wrists to pull me onto him, to yank me back onto the unbelieveably rigid heat of his flesh. all i knew was how he felt inside me, how thick he was and how focused i was on the pain he caused me to feel...

and then, with one powerful thrust, he moved into my ass...

(3 ejaculations | spew for me)

Thursday, November 1st, 2001
2:05 am - daylight

i left in the morning to take care of the business that brought me there. he was asleep, but awakened enough to kiss me before i departed.

it was hours before i returned.

he was awake when i entered the room, sleepy eyed, but dressed and wanting lunch. i wanted more, but i kept remembering the things in his pack, the things i told him to bring with him, and i wanted him to be happy when we returned to the room.

we ate quickly - i had only five hours before my plane departed and i wanted to savor our time together. he kept touching my thigh, shining his beautiful secret smile at me - i was weak in the knees, like putty, and o so ready for him.

we finished eating, and left the booth. i was afraid i'd left a wet place on the upholstery, and was so afraid to check, to draw attention to the condition in which he'd placed me.

we took the elevator up, and i could smell him next to me - clean and earthy and like... like ben. his scent is rich, sensual, pure and makes me helpless, malleable.

he kissed me, and i became even wetter...

(1 ejaculation | spew for me)

Monday, October 15th, 2001
3:38 pm - : :continuation: :
as soon as we entered the room he turned and locked the door. he dropped his gear on the floor, then wandered around, opened the door to the balcony and looked out, then sat on the edge of the bed.

i took off my clothes and buried myself in the coolness of the sheets, the softness of the comforter and - within moments - the intoxicating scent of ben's chest, then belly... then thighs...

i'd forgotten how he tasted, what he felt like in the deepest part of my throat. i'd forgotten the strength of his hands pressing against the back of my head, pulling me closer. i'd forgotten how he'd push into me, feeling my throat constrict until i couldn't breathe, until i couldn't think, until i couldn't stand not having him inside me even one more second.

i'd forgotten how unbelieveably powerful the orgasms i achieve from sucking him are.

i released him from the suction of my throat - i wanted this to last, and i knew he was too close by the amount of fluid i was able to suck from him. his knees were weak, so i mounted him and squatted on the object of my joy, lifting and lowering myself on him, giving him only the sensation of wet snatch on hard cock, over and over and over - nothing else...

i was in complete control...

(spew for me)

9:36 am - ben
i returned to take care of some legal business.

he was at the airport, leaning casually against the delta podium. he was dark and lovely in slate and black, his skin pale and glowing as he rested his cheek on his palm.

his eyes met mine, and i felt it again: that magnetic sensation that's drawn me to him for years...

he asked me for a hug, and i moved closer to him. i could feel his body, his heat through his shirt as he held me close. he asked for a kiss.

it was late. the hotel dining room was closed, so we sat in the bar and ate appetizers and talked until it grew close to closing time. he looked at me and i could feel his electricity - still there, still pulling me in.

we left the bar.

the room was lovely - dark wood and lush furnishings, and the bed was huge and comfortable. he'd followed my instructions and brought the things i requested, but that night was to be fast and nasty with little time for play. i hadn't seen him for so long...

his touch was amazing...

(spew for me)

Tuesday, August 21st, 2001
9:27 pm

wake. dream. remember.

weep.

(1 ejaculation | spew for me)

Monday, August 20th, 2001
3:58 am

now, the traffic of night - voices on the street and the deep rumble of trucks, the bark of a small dog and the ceiling fan cutting through thick, congealing air... it's hot, and i need to be away, out of here, gone.

i'll walk tonight, find something sweet...

(1 ejaculation | spew for me)

Saturday, July 28th, 2001
4:35 am - never say goodbye

looong long drive...

his thigh was warm under my fingers, and i could feel his muscles flex as he shifted and accelerated. i've always loved his legs.

i made him kiss me.

when we arrived, he wandered around my property like a lost little boy, looking into rooms and trying doorknobs and generally exploring before he finally fell asleep on the floor of my den.

he was beautiful, and it saddened me.

we fought and bickered about the past, about what we'd lost, about the hatred in our hearts. we fought about love, about her, about the boys and women i'd been with in the years since we first met.

in between the words was goodbye, and i love you, and i hate you even more.

he made me kiss him.

we slept, then woke, and before he left for the long drive home he let me touch him. his flesh was sweet and delicious, smooth and dry and... and...

it hurt to say goodbye.


goodbye, ben. goodbye my sweet sweet love. i will die out here without you...

(3 ejaculations | spew for me)

Saturday, July 21st, 2001
6:23 pm - alone.

listening to the night scream, tossing in the heat, pacing the floor like a crazed animal - is this better than what i had before?

the heat and wetness are unbearable...

(spew for me)

Monday, June 11th, 2001
3:49 pm - ...forever chained to your heart...

he was here...

sweet kisses, and i fell. his lips, warm and sensuous, sent tremors through me - i couldn't say no. i've never been able to say no.

i love this boy.

i turned on the water, and steam began to fill the room. he'd been in the pool and smelled of chlorine and the heat of the day. he removed his clothing, and i was drawn by his appearance as i haven't been for months. his body was pale, beautiful. i touched him then, gently, reverently, as if he were a god.

he is my god.

he kissed me again, under the water. i felt his chest against my own, his arms around me, my flesh against his. we talked and touched and bathed, our hands slipping over each other with peach-scented lather.

finished now, he brought me to my knees. he was already hard, and he tasted clean, pure. i came as i sucked him; he's the only male whose flesh does this to me. i couldn't wait, so he turned me around to face the back of the tub and knelt behind me, rubbing my ass and stroking my back.

his first thrust was strong and full, entering me fully and making me gasp. i wanted to feel, so i begged him to push harder, to make it hurt, and he did, many many times until i wept with pain...

he turned me around again, until the now cold spray was on my back, his chest. his cock rubbed between my lips and sent crazy electricity through my clit. i came again. he held my breasts and fucked me hard, then harder as his breath came in gasps. he stopped for a moment, then rammed into me with all his strength, over and over again until he came, making sweet, growling animalistic noises as i followed him in orgasm...

he was weak in the knees, and i kissed him, his cock, gently.

i love this boy. i don't want to say goodbye...

(1 ejaculation | spew for me)

Sunday, June 10th, 2001
8:16 am - oh my beautiful liar, oh my precious whore...

from a building fascination:

> tell me you, tell me those experiences that make you you.


you want the incest part, the slut part, my erotic romance with the needle, the beatings, the humiliation, the lovers, the thing with pain or the present? i'll whore my angst to you, but there has to be a reward.

thrill me. make me feel.

(spew for me)

Friday, June 8th, 2001
5:29 pm - wayne

i picked wayne up on the internet. he'd replied to a personal ad i'd posted, and i felt he was friendly and personable. he told me about his children and his weekly trips to idaho to pick them up.

we talked for a while one night. he sent me his picture: older, balding, portly.

i met him in the parking lot halfway between his home and mine. he paid for the room, and we went there. he brought me beads from my favorite reservation trading post.

he was huge and pasty white. his touches were hesitent at first, then more intimate - touching my breasts, my nipples, then rubbing my pussy through my jeans.

i took them off.

he disrobed - his cock was small and white and hard, ready for whatever he wanted to do to me. he rubbed himself against me, against my clit, then inside me. he seemed out of practice, like he hadn't sexed for a while.

i mounted him, my thighs barely able to straddle him. he held my hips and shoved himself into me, enjoying what i could barely feel. i moved onto my back and lifted my legs so he'd be able to go deeper into me. it worked, and i could finally feel his prick.

he was sweating. i wasn't. he came, then tried to kiss me...

i went home after he fell asleep. he no longer msgs me.



of course, i no longer msg him either...

(spew for me)

Sunday, May 27th, 2001
10:06 pm - victor

victor was a waiter at the coffee shop down the street from me. he seemed young and funny and like he'd be a blast to be with. he was tall - 6'9" - and extremely sexually charged. i invited him over...

we talked for a while, then drove out to look at a couple tat places so i could check out their portfolios. after browsing we went back to my place.

when we entered my home, he couldn't keep his hands off of me - touching my hair, my neck, the small of my back. i became aroused with his attentions, and he slid his hand up under my skirt.

he was so hard when i touched him, and it was over almost as soon as i guided him into me.

he's made up for it over and over and over again since then...

(spew for me)

Wednesday, May 23rd, 2001
1:27 am - ken

we talked for hours, and when i couldn't stand it anymore i leaned over and kissed him.

his hair was long, long and red, and brushed my face as our mouths made love. he was hungry for touch, and i gave him what he craved.

i undressed him slowly, fascinated by his hardness and the scars on his belly. he was lean, all sinew, cock and belligerence.

i was late home because he wouldn't stop. i was told he was two hours late for work, coming in smiling and congenial...

i found out later the scars were from the surgery after his father kicked him across two rooms when he was four.

i loved him, i think - albeit briefly.

(spew for me)

Tuesday, May 22nd, 2001
7:16 pm - ...owned...

his tongue was alive and hungry. he used it on me as if i were her, tormenting my sex and demanding i cum. i did - over and over and over again.

his breath smelled strongly of blood in the morning...

(spew for me)

Friday, May 11th, 2001
7:14 pm - infidelity


so in my half-asleep state, my mind began to wander...

i thought of him again, and the things we'd done. i thought of his face, and his eyes, and how he makes me cum by his kiss alone.

i felt myself become wet, my clit rigid.

drifting further toward sleep i began to fantasize. i felt my clit was a huge penis, rising up between my thighs as if it were some strange reddened snake. too huge for one hand, i wrapped both of my fists around it and teased it slowly until it was fully erect.

my nipples brushed against the fabric of my bedclothes, and i left the sweet agony of my erection to play gently with the tips of my breasts.

i thought of his tongue then, licking her pussy, his lips parting hers and sucking the pink softness between.

i came then, and woke with moisture on my belly...



current mood: in agony

(1 ejaculation | spew for me)


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