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significant (b)other

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[22 Mar 2003|12:43am]
[ mood | bitchy ]
[ music | pj harvey - my beautiful leah ]

new journal and stuffs at: http://www.geocities.com/gloomwater/

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[14 Jan 2003|04:29pm]
i like the way my hips crack when I crawl out of my chair sideways
and the way my ass looks in these pants

i love the taste of cigarettes
and the way my stomach flips when he says he misses me

when I grow up I hope I'm not as cynical and critical as you are now
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[13 Jan 2003|07:54am]
Can't stop playing!!

http://andrius.esu.lt/10/go1.htm
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[31 Dec 2002|02:37pm]
hrm. tessssts. i'm obsessed

i am a mix taper!




How indie are you?
test by ridethefader

You're really enthusiastic about the music that you like. You attempt to discover your new favourite
band every week. You continually try to get your friends into the music you like, which annoys the fuck
out of them, but you don't know it. At least you're not arrogant about it.
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[31 Dec 2002|02:18pm]
[ music | Radiohead - Black Star (Acoustic) ]

sad girl, sad girl. how do you cope when even your friends don't understand?

i feel like pulling a crabbe. weeee!

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[30 Dec 2002|10:06am]
goddamnnnn, pj harvey makes my stomach ache in such a good way
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[30 Dec 2002|09:52am]
[ music | PJ Harvey - My Beautiful Leah ]

more delicious words I found today--

i am imagining yr soft breast, yr barren thighs, the heart between yr hips...

how could i not love a woman? how could i not love you?


** ** ** **

I guess it's the day before New Year's eve today. Julie asked me if I had any plans, and I blanked. I had no idea that was tomorrow. I can't even keep track of days anymore it seems, kinda scary. But no, I don't have plans. I'll either sleep through it like I did with xmas, or drink the wine that's in the kitchen and write more shitty poetry like I did last year.

The skin on my fingertips & thumbs that got burned off when I was unloading dishes daily at tim horton's has finally grown back. Almost. There are a couple tiny flaps of skin that just don't wanna heal over completely, and underneath is a darker shade of pink that kinda hurts. I can't stop chewing on my thumbs. For almost a month now I've had no fingerprints. I was enjoying being the unidentifiable woman.

I talked to my dad the other night, who said he wishes I would come back to Thunder Bay and live there again. I've thought about it a lot. I do love the place we lived, out in the middle of nowhere on the lake. I did love the quiet, and the time I got to spend alone. But at the same time, so very far away from town. I dont know what to do.

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[16 Dec 2002|08:21am]
[ music | Velvet Underground - Lisa Says ]

Hahah, greeeaaaat.

Disorder -- Rating
Paranoid: Very High
Schizoid: Very High
Schizotypal: Very High
Antisocial: High
Borderline: Moderate
Histrionic: Moderate
Narcissistic: High
Avoidant: High
Dependent: Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive: High


Take the test -- http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv

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[15 Dec 2002|12:32am]
[ music | Radiohead - Exit Music ]

I got to talk to an old friend tonight, i missed hearing his voice

I think I downloaded over a gig of music today. sooo much good stuff, soo little time. got a bunch of 16 horsepower, some pj harvey, tori amos, tool, radiohead, and some weird electronic stuff, and a couple bjork tunes

spinach crackers are good

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[14 Dec 2002|08:27pm]
<3 Radiohead
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[12 Dec 2002|11:11am]
[ music | Radiohead - Far Away ]

my eyes, my eyes... so sleepy, like little eyelash kisses

5pm and I'm ready to sleeeeep for an entire week. my tummy hurts a bit, some honey tea would be nice, and a hug and a small bowl of mashed potatoessss

why do people become so obsessed with me? I suck, honestly.

unless you like flannel-pant-snuggling and radiohead and grilled cheese and bedhead, you have no business being obsessed. oh! and lemonade with pulp

today is tim's birthday. he would have been 14.

i love you

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[29 Nov 2002|02:36am]
My mother is in my room right now, sitting on my bed and blabbering at me. Her religious nonsense. It's what, 3am? She got out of bed to come and preach and tell me that If I would only have a shower and get a job (and pray for forgiveness, of couse) my life would turn into a happy fucking field of flowers and puppies. Some day you WILL stand before the lord in judgement and blah blah fucking blah.

She just not fucking understand what it is like to be this fucked in the head. I have tried I don't know how many times to explain my depression and insomnia, but she DOES NOT GET IT. She thinks I am choosing to feel this way, and that I am just lazy.

She also just said that if I am not actively seeking help that I must want to be this way and I don't really want to get better. What part of "I don't even have the motivation to get out of bed most mornings, let alone leave the house to find a doctor" does she not understand?

/rant off
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Tim Horton's [16 Nov 2002|01:08am]
If one more middle-aged woman calls me honeybunny or kiddo again I'm going to fucking snap.

I hate this job!
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[08 Nov 2002|04:32pm]
Got the job at Timmah's~
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[06 Nov 2002|09:51pm]
I am walking out in the rain
I am listening to the low moan of the dialtone again

I am getting nowhere with you
And I can't let it go
And I get get through

And the old woman behind the pink curtains
And the closed door on the first floor
She's listening through the airshaft to see how long our swan song can last
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[06 Nov 2002|09:45pm]
Why am I such a dork? Fantasy, dragons, RPGs & Electronics Boutique. Weeee.

I went shopping today. Bought a new CD-ROM drive, as the one I had seems to have blown up or something. I'm too lazy to install it yet though. Spent money I dont' have on some new clothes. New shirt pictured partially below. Mmm, corduroy is so delicious!



Job interview tomorrow at the fine establishment of Tim Hortons. Hurrah.
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[03 Nov 2002|07:45am]
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[31 Oct 2002|10:26pm]
Well, I quit my job.

Telemarketing thinly veiled as "customer service" is definitely not my field.
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[22 Oct 2002|02:29am]
[ mood | awake ]
[ music | ne Inch Nails - Somewhat Damaged ]

Despite a totally fucking frustrating week last week, this one proves to be a little better. Sold 6 NCs and 2 ISWs during tonight's shift. 200 and something percent to plan now. Might have a chance to get my comp payout and actually go to San Francisco on the 8th to meet Greg.

/sigh

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[06 Oct 2002|04:00am]
Spent the night at Jamie's to watch his dogs while he and Mary Ann were in Halifax. Mack and Brooklyn remind me so much of Abby. I am still so incredibly pissed off and sad that my mother took her to the humane society while I was at work. I just can't believe it.
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