i'm sleepy. i'm crampy. i'm bitchy. i'm slightly bloaty. i'm bleeding. i'm whiny. i'm lonely. i'm bored. i'm tired. i'm frustrated. i'm headachy. i'm nauseous. i'm hungry.

yeah. happy new year. whatever.

( semi-unhappy semi-ramblings )

[	mood	|	blah	]
[	music	|	blah blah - the blahs	]

another year is dead and gone. almost. (14 hours from now)

and i can't help but wonder... has this year been squandered?

have i done anything worthwhile with my time?

the wedding date is fast approaching. things need to get set in motion. dresses need to be chosen. cake needs to be tasted. floral arrangements need to be picked out. save the date cards need to be sent. invitations need to be selected. money needs to be paid.

crap.

it doesn't look like i have any plans for tonight. nothing to do, no one's really throwing any parties.... looks like it'll just be me throwing things at dick clark on the television screen. possibly getting drunk. dunno.

everyone i live with works tomorrow morning, so i'll have new year's day and the rose parade all to myself tomorrow. whee. go me.

I HAVE A PENIS!

that is all.

[	mood	|	awake	]
[	music	|	the cult - she sells sanctuary	]

it actually kinda looks like christmas in our house. we have a little tree on our table. surrounded by presents. pretty decent haul, i'd have to say.

now, they're not all for me. they're not even mostly all for me. there's family presents, roommate presents, and presents exchanged between lovers.

it's kinda nice.

this is also the first year i've owned a christmas tree. that's neat too. being a jew, christmas is all shiny and pretty and wrapped up in bright red paper with a bow. it's new! it's exciting! i'm not all jaded about it like i am with chanukkah.

but anyway, before i start sounding (more) like a retard, i go now.

so. merry christmas, happy chanukkah, blessed solstice, happy kwanzaa, etc. etc. etc.

[	mood	|	okay	]
[	music	|	misfits - hybrid moments	]

kinda got torn up a little bit last night.

had something put into perspective for me. sometimes you just need to listen to the viewpoint of someone who was there, but uninvolved, to really get the full picture. i'm not going to bash myself, because we're all self-centered to a certain degree, because we all see things from our own perspective. it's easy to try to be objective when you're dealing with a political situation, but when your own feelings and desires are involved, objectivity is a rare thing to find.

i took everything that was said to me to heart, but i didn't let myself get hurt by it. it's the past. it was just kinda nice to have things sewn up for me like that.

i made a hard decision a few years back. i have, on occasion, wondered if the decision i made was the right one. it's nice to know that even though it was highly unpleasant, it was for the best, for everyone involved.

anyway, i think i've used up all the descriptive words that i can without revealing any details on this situation. so i'm gonna cut off here because i would like this to remain vague.

i told the truth.

i did!

i even took the 'most accurate' version of the test.

and this is what i got:

What Famous Leader Are You?