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Saturday, April 17th, 2004
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10:57 pm - taday...
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...started by coulering in a prety cool Dik van Rat pic i started last night and started to my sisters restuant, where she works, where my mother bought me a sallad.
basicly... a kid craped on the bus, and had his but in my face at the time. this coursed the bus to be lake and two people the two peeps on the other bus i was on were arseholes.
aparently, too, the next dean on st albans is going to be homosexual.
at least this may be.
there's a gay guy who was going to be bishop and he's up for dean.
woo hoo..!
well, thats just about it. my dad made me the bigest omlet in the world and i'm going to be in a photo for my grandad.
all in good taist and fun.
and all that.
Squeak..!
ah yeah, and i'm on Yiffy.net now as Squirrel_Nutkin
and beatrix Potter is available on dvd from Amarica for just £7ish. yip to that..!
current mood:  bouncy
current music: something fon granada from a while back
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| Wednesday, April 14th, 2004
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3:54 pm - There's a place...
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...where one can get these leagle magic mushroom things, and i need some to talk to fearies and power animals prehaps with, but there quite expencive and all the squair foo.
prety anoying, but i think i'll go for it.
also need other things.
well, i bought simpsons and futureama serires two today, bacause they look better than the first ones. at least the Simpsons do, and i like futurama anyhoo.
also saw the cat in the hat and played some arcade games in Luton. aim to Gym an Theatre this eve.
no Rach today, oddly.
never mind.
Oh Yessss.
current mood:  artistic
current music: ..?
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| Tuesday, April 13th, 2004
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2:54 pm
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i posted this to a freind just now. just wanted to get it straight;
in my definitions there are three words you should know about in this area;
1; zoosexual, a persion who will sleep with animals as homosexual men will sleep with men.
2; beastual, the consecept of sexual intercourse between two speices, normaly a human and another type of animal. beastualite; a person who practices this in some way
3; zoophile, the most interesting to me. the word 'phile' at the end of curten words implies 'a sexual, emotional and\or spiritual love for that thing'. the word 'ophile' at the end of a word implies the oppisit, eg 'peadophile'. i think the zoo equivelent to this is 'zoolophile'.
this is why i define myself as a zoophile and nothing more. a zoosexual might shag an animal for the fun of it as homosexuals and hetrohexuals do. a zoophile won't nesseserily have sexual intercourse with an animal nor ever want to.
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| Monday, April 12th, 2004
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5:41 pm
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| Saturday, April 10th, 2004
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10:22 pm - another darn Cat like test
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8:23 pm
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7:38 pm
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5:36 pm
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because i'm so fed up with being left out of everything, i'm going to try and set myself up with a nms nalius or something...
yup, that neems to have worked. i think i'm Nynthi now. not sure how it works persisely, but no doubt i'l lfind out.
now for yiffnet...
ok, why can't i get a yiffnet account? the bloody thing keeps failing my e mails from hotmail.
bugger
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12:53 pm
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i have the hair, and my end would have to be a romantic one i think. my boyfreind is a school boy though. typical.
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12:39 pm - Th
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eres a rumer that i may be going to Watford today.
the bloody dss said that i'm taking a cut in my benifits, but i'm going to protest.
no prompt corner still.
got to the point in Starfox where i'm looking for the first spirit. the Rabbit told me to block some gas holes with whatever i find lying around. i've locatecd what i asume to be the gas things, and found a lot of little things that go bang, but they don't seem to want to do anything other than that. also found a big no movie rock.
bloody cube.
got a Swan Laje 7" in a cool cover and a diana ross single and i'm thirsty *glurp*
well, thats it 'till monday.
computers as noisy as ever still.
Ms f
current mood:  depressed
current music: m n m
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| Thursday, April 8th, 2004
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3:23 pm - promp corner
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post has been a bit slow latley if people are telling the truth. the dss said they's sent me a letter last friday that hasn't arived yet.
more worrying though is my absence of this seasons Prompt Corner, which is something i have never seen and need realy, plus i've paid for it.
well, i'm going to try and get stuff off my chest, might put my bill up a bit, but...
basicly, last weekend promiced to be cool. Dad took me to see skooby doo on sat and we had a chinese, grandad took me out for a meal and went to see nan on mon.
sat went ok. i had to go to watford to pawn some disks then chase after the bank who'd decided to try and help me by telling me i was overdrawn when i wasn't, then in the evening i didn't realy want to eat. film was a bit kak and Yahoo refused to work when i needed her, but i apreseated the day as a whole.
sunday started well. ny computerrefuseed to work faster that one mile per hour because basicly there isn't any memory so i couldn't make a cd cover for my sis on time. then we get there and i find out my sis has a main part in a production of the musical 'a slice of saterday night', which just opened up flood gates. no one bothered to tell me of course, just came up in confotation and if i didn't ask rather loudly what was going on the whole thing would have passed right through me a per usual. she said i should go down and see her all the same. the meal section was pretty groce to.
then monday came and all day i had this masive headache because my grandperents do not know how to shut up. had an odd game of rummicubs and suffered that gender seperation bollocks again.
now about my sisters play and my promt corner...
i'll start with my sis i think. her school put on a production of Joseph which her and my bro were part of in some way and they weent to se the jason donovan one in london without me and with no shame whatsoever, but never mind. they were then involved in Greese and west side story. my bro was involved in props anyhoo. then nothing seemed to happen to either of them, apart from the odd concert for music which is the other aira in which i was misteresly left behind, oh and my sis had a smallish part in Jack the Ripper. this went on for about seven or so years though, untill recently my brother invited me to a profornence of Jesus christ superstar done by his old school but not the same department who did the grese and the other one. he wasn't involved in this production i don't think, his wife works at the theatre, but i learned that he was involved in a good few musical with ther company and this was common knolage. then my sis gets a part in an operas thing, but only playing the violin in the orchesture, and now she has a lead in this, and everyone seemes to be informed in all of this exept me.
as for my own life, i had some bad luck at school. they did the mid summers night dream and my entire class just had to do this patrinizingly simple dance routine, and they didn't even bother to explain to us the bloody story so we seemed to me at least that we were doing nothing and i was involved in a few small, put on for the sake of fellow puppetier, emouesingly religouse plays, though my teach didn't seem to uderstand the concept of the dramatic pause, or acting very much. then i had a break untill Ruskin mill, famed for helping there students to get into whatever caria field they wanted, refused to get me gcse music and put me in the worst drama classes in history instead saying that i could take up my interest in music there. didn't touch a note and worked like a slave for two years only to get an e because my drama teacher hated me. i did get to act at the shakespear globe which is pretty cool, and the second year thing wasn't bad either, but the i also was never involved in anything which involved lighting, sound, music very much, costumes or props. for what i put in, i realy didn't get much out at all.
another long and dead break and i FINELY hear about the abby theatre\company of ten. how there suposed to work is you pay a small amount each year, and in return you get to be involved in whatever you can get involved in. they give you a news letter every seson, the above mentioned promp corner, and it will tell you whats going on and who you have to contact and when and stuff.
what ACCUALY happened was that they told me a lie about the lay out of the theatre, forgot to mention about the bits of paper that are in the members room that alow you to stand up and say get involved, hopefully, in lighting or whatever, said they'd send me a promp corner, didn't, and then said i'd get the new one begining of the month which i havn't yet got. also managed to unsucsessfully ordition for this play, asnd the director said that we'd all get letters whever we get a part or not. i havn't reseived one yet and i think i sould have done.
well, yesterday was a club night, so i went down to inquire about my corner. couln't because the front doors were shut, and when i went in through the side doors, the theatre was full of people, most of which were looking at photos on a tv of a show that someone had put on. after this had finished, and once a new born baby had entered the place, alot of them went to gather seats and and a half circle table and most of the paople sat on them. after about half an hour i descovered that it seemed to be a bunce of gits talking about a play which some had been involved in the week before but i had never heared of. one guy had a House and Garden book on them - the play i orditioned for.
so i have no real idia what to do and no one seems willing to tell me.
well, i have to phone a freind now. thatnx for listening though i'm sure it's made little sence. maibee when i can be bothered i'll print this out and read it back to myself.
ooh, btw. i've seen diskone of both futer and the simpsons and i'm a little disapointed at the quality of the presentation. once i sniff out the real features on the simpsons, if there are any, i'll report more.
current mood: depressed
current music: when i get home some ballet music\some twinkles\maibe Joseph
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| Wednesday, April 7th, 2004
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6:11 pm
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i don't realy see the point.
i mean today i got paid, and imeadeatly went out and got the simpsons and futureama on dvd because they were half price and i wants'd them.
i got now 5, dire straights on lp, and like a virgin and feel so hight on 7", plus an odd looking film on vid. raced Squirrel, my cathode ray Horsie and won some tickets. and what is left.
another thing thats been happening for me is Starfox. bought him a while back, tried to play but got stuck right near the begining, and, like, yesterday night i deleated my file and started again, and i'm now at a point where i have to find a lever behind a wall. can't figure out where the wall is mind you.
then whats left..? under two minutes, i know that.
tomorrow, i'll moan about my theatre situation if you'd like.
current mood:  discontent
current music: Pop Pop Pop music
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| Saturday, April 3rd, 2004
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8:20 pm - Since my last update...
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...well, on wednesday i went to see Rach and made a vertual Horse who isn't Dapple and won alot of tickets then thursday i got my dvds and cd recorder then yesterday i went to the gym and did some food shopping resulting in supper of a sallad, pizza and easter egg in front of Billy Connely then today i've pawned some more dvd's, sorted out some bank spooge, bought two ballet albums and i'm going to see scooby doo two in a mo then tommorrow i'm going for a meal cortesy of my grandaddy where i will give my sis a cd htat i made her then on monday i'm going to my nans then on tue hopefully to the gym again then i get paid on wed
and my computer is being a dickhead
current mood:  awake
current music: 301.0
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| Wednesday, March 31st, 2004
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2:43 pm - Beth, said the blind man
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i'm going to the gym today *laughs at concept*
i bought now music 4 and an older record called 'gay nineties walzes' and sparkly skirt. waqnna buy the new Angellina Ballerina dvd and futureama s1 as they've reduced it to $20 and verying other things
going to buy a black Mouse though. and not the sexy kind. the optical kind. only a tenner
i need more cloths. with Rach though
i did something cool to my 'arobesque' logo yesterday before my computer crashed. i'm sure he put no memory in there but instead stapled a goldfish to the motherbored
current mood: artistic
current music: a homosexual three bar thingie *moans*
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| Saturday, March 27th, 2004
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10:10 pm - Saterday 257486378
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i'm at my dads. it's saterday.
sunday was so unsuccessfull, for me anyways, that it wasn't realy even that funny. so when i went for my readings...
i've never read the book, despite the fact that i've owned it for over a week, so when the soon to be director asked us to sa ywhich carictors we were most interesed in, i looked at the charictors page and chose an actress and a daughter which made him take me less seresly than he already seemed to, he cast me as 'a possable Jake' though, and i gave two very bad, i think, readings. two more jakes gave much much better readings and he's gone to cast the thing.
i am consequencelly writing my stage abtation of Black Buety, which if i'm here next week i'll post up.
also, the transexual thing which seeme cdto be going sooooo well seems to have now gone SQUEEEEEEAAAAAAAACH as the Bauemont people have failed to reply, and as for the consent situation, the long awaited sexuality related councelling, the magic tutu i want to make for pride 2004, the fac that two weeks ago i had to write another accuate veiw on my gender and sexuality within a single night night to give to m ysociel worker and i havn't had the guts to read it back yet... what has been my housing situation for three or four years, the fact that it says 'gay bars' somewere on my dla form, the fact that it's wrong anyhoo as the cba kindly pointed out to me today that i forgot to mention that it's a renewall and not a new claim so i have to deal with that... thge fact that my sis is home and i still havn't got the mothers day cd nor will i have the money 'till wednessday, the fact that Rachel seems to have decided to hate me...
well, british comedies are quite funny, arn't they. yes. tv. oil.
did buy some cool things though. the streets album 'origanal pirate meterel' which is fools and Horses dressed in vinyl, two spandell ballet albums which almost do justice to the name of the band, bananerama's greatest hits, some very camp disco, some late 90's indie and a book from the 70's about Fearies that contains some very nice artistic impressions. computer upgrades on wed. Zooprode seems to be doing unatualy well to. looks like their might be hope yet. i like hope. it's nice.
i'm going to go to my spiritual place to party with the Fearies and converse with Vixen very soon, so am i going to do some shopping in a shop in St Albans that i know, and hopefully come out with some of those fake magic mushroom things. i realy need to access some aparently locked parts of my mind. there is so much i need to talk about, feel and write about.
current mood: bouncy
current music: the streets ~ don't mug yourself
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| Saturday, March 20th, 2004
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9:44 pm - ummmmm...
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went to london today.
tried to find size twelve womens shoes. failed.
found the 1968 royel ballet nutcracker on dvd for £28 though. didn't have £28 though.
ate a large stuffed crust pizza all by my furry little self though.
other than that it was all busses and walking though. i'm at my dads now, obsessing over the vicor of dibly.
i'm going for a 'workshop' tommorrow. which i guess defines in less conservitive places as a pre reading. i intend to go in this glittery dress that i wore for un unsucsessfull new years and the glittery gold tights i wore when it became cold on wednessday. though i have to change as soon as it finishes because my mothers picking me up t ogo round hers and see my granny, and she say's 'she's not ashamed of me or anything but it's not the time'.
well, it is mothers day;~}
well, that's today and tommorrow, i guess.
current mood: bouncy
current music: dude
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9:37 pm - i like the people hear
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| Friday, March 19th, 2004
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12:15 pm - simply HAVE to type, realy
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my weeks been to much, and i can't realy do anything about it.
i can't realy say everything that i wanted to say, maibee i'll type it tonight at home, wrack it on a floppy and post it at my Dads.
one thing that does bother me, though, is on wednessday\St Patricks day, i put on a short miniskirt and a teeshirt and made it up town.
i went to dunstable to have a quiet drink with Rachel, now a suposably good freind btw, and we both suffered what she refered to as homophobia, though i don't know, they just seemed to be calling me weired and her fraind of weired. but anyhoo, we then made it to the pub.
the person behind the bar has three distinguissing features. one, he is camp, two, he is gay and doesn't hide it and three, he is hot
he also seems to know allot of people and doesn't seem to like me much
anyhoo, we went in, and imeadeatly a group of iaris people, one of which had one of those big hats, snapped at the bar guy to tell 'so and so' that they were in the other pub. i don't think they liked me much either.
anyhoo, this is the part that buggers me, when i went up for my second drink.
there was this oldish man with a moustarse was sitting down talking to the bar guy, there usely is. i came up, just to order a drink, i wasn't even that close to him. he stans up and sidles away from me. picking this up, i walk to a diferent part of the bar, and the git sits back down.
so my question is this, bareing in mind that the guy could NOT have known me coupled with the fact that i KNOW i have not doen anyone any harm in my life, in fact it tends to happen the other way around.
Why oh why is it ok for one person to be outwardly gay AND nice AND camp, but it's a fucking crime for the other guy to be outwardly gay AND nice AND a crossdresser.
why?
oh why?
oh bloody why?
anyway, my sexual orintation issues, which is now solidly and unquestionably gay, along with my transsexual issues seem to be esculating all by their pretty little selve at the moment, and i have no bloody money so i can do little about it. but i'm happy.
well, six of one and al that...
current mood: disappointed
current music: tom robinsons band. just helped itself to a place on my shel
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| Saturday, March 13th, 2004
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1:58 pm
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had odd dream last night, i think my life restarted around thursday and now i'm as close to the Fearie eliment as ever, so am i as close to becoming a gay ballet dancer than ever.
oh yes
wel, i'm going home to eat and exercise
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| Wednesday, March 10th, 2004
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3:09 pm
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Fealing realy depressed today on account of my everything. going to join the gym today and take up ballet, as propely as poss, as soon as i get home.
bloody humans
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