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LiveJournal for Ruke.
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| Monday, January 26th, 2004 |
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| you know, I need new user icons. Those are old, I have much longer hair now. Like as in I've had about 3 haircuts since then. | ||||||
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| Sunday, January 25th, 2004 |
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The Gospel is NOT the message of individual, personal salvation and forgiveness of sins. To reduce the Gospel message to a message of the salvation of people is a terrible travesty that has to my mind caused western Christianity to miss a huge part of the BIG PICTURE. The Gospel, in its historical context, is the proclamation of a king. Euangellion, the Greek word translated as Gospel, literally means "good proclaimation" or maybe "excellent announcement" and it was the propaganda term used by ministers of the 1st century Roman empire to refer to the message of the reign of Caesar over the lives of the citizens of the Empire. For Paul to ascribe the word Gospel to Jesus, and for the early church to call the stories of Jesus' life Gospels, they had to be aware of this context (since they lived in it) and so they knew that what they were saying was highly subversive to the powers that were in the Empire. What they were saying, in effect, was that Caesar is not the sovereign but that Jesus (a criminal, crucified- which means his name was supposed to be damned, that is, forgotten, and crucifixion was a punishment reserved for rebels against the Roman State) is the true ruler. The Gospel is the proclaimation of the true King, the Lord Jesus Christ, our God, and the coming of his kingdom in all its ways- and of the prescription for believers to be sold out with their whole lives to manifest the kingdom in our individual and collective lives. Evangelism is not about people "getting saved". It's about people being met by God and brought into the realm of his kingdom, about catching God's vision and allowing him to bring it to fruition in and within us, individually and collectively. Salvation is not about going to "heaven", it's about giving up your life for the purpose of one who knows so much better how to use it than do we. Knowing this, how then can we go on living as if all that matters is that one day we will go to heaven? How can we go on in our daily jobs while the world crumbles around us? How can we not cry out to God daily to bring his kingdom more fully to this incredibly fucked-up world (yes, I said the f-word... can you think of another that comes close to capturing the truth of the state of the world?) and to make us into his hands and feet, the vessels of his glory, to bring others to worship (that is, following the etymology of the word, to give him that which he is worth- and only our very lives can fulfill that requirement), to give up our small ambitions and petty dreams and truly make him LORD of our lives- for Lord is NOT just another name for God... The kingdom of God says: The way up is down The way to win is to lose The way to live is to die The way to receive is to give it all away The way to rule is to become a slave The way to defeat evil is to love The way to riches is to be poor Lord, may I embody this more fully every day, and each day be closer to the full glory of your kingdom than I on the day previous. Ok, my rant is over. Christians just piss me off. |
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| Monday, January 12th, 2004 |
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| The Sungazers have an indie record deal :-D | ||||
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| Wednesday, December 17th, 2003 |
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So... for the last few days each day I've gone to bed at 4 pm, slept until midnight, and then studied until my final of the day (all were either at 12:30 or 2:45 pm) and then gone to bed after the final. So right now, it being 6 pm, my body feels like I should have gone to sleep 2 hours ago. But I'm going to the UE-Mississippi game tonight with JOHNNY DREW and a few other friends, so I'm just going to have to suck it up ;-) It's over! It's over! No more finals! I think I made a couple (at least) of C's by virtue of having been sick and not going to class from Thanksgiving to the end of the semester, but I figure I can live with that because I was mega-sick and I know a lot of people whose semester that would have completely killed. It almost did mine- I really really wanted to throw in the towel about two days before finals when I had a 104-degree fever for four days. Fortunately, that went away. Things are better now :-) |
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| Tuesday, December 16th, 2003 |
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"Break of Day" It's all fired up You're ready to go It's time to make news, thrillin to the sound of the radio Shots fired, officer down Soon the word is all around the town You better run better run you're chillin to the sound of the radio (chorus) And all the things you've worked for, Would you throw it all away Everything you've cried for Died at the break of day I've got the ticket Hold it in my hand Come into the market, voodoo economics come and save my soul All you can give is a hole in the wall Nobody comes when you sound the call The message of a bullet, powder-burn stigmata bleeding from the hole (chorus) Died at the break of day At the break of day (solo over progression) If you've got a problem Take it by the hand 'Cause if you take them with you hey you never know you just might Make it to the Promised Land Can't find a solution Catch a bullet in the teeth Violence ain't the answer but sometimes it feels right Let your barbaric YOPP sound forth into the night (chorus) vocal ad-lib |
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"All Wounds" Going places, to the limit You'll never know what hit you Sacred mission Scurry to the arms of my well-being A paper trust can't Take away what's been built here (chorus) And what is the point of being someone If you can't love the one you've become And you can't forget the ones you've stepped on You can't buy back your grace, you can't buy him Going out into the snow A chill-ed thank you, come again Act of contrition, manumission Fleeing from the home that once we knew This paper smile bursts into flame And I know you don't believe but you feel A paper trust can't Take away what's been built here (chorus) And time heals all wounds but this one Whenever you're alone you cry and Bitterness can't bring you back They're wrong when they say you can't go home But are you willing to pay the price Are you willing to pay the price Are you willing to give up (chorus) And time heals all wounds but this one And you can't go back home like this... And time heals all wounds but this one You try but you can't forget Time heals all wounds but this one, this one, this one Wooo.... (ad-lib vocalization) |
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#1- "For Granted" Some things just make you shake your head Some make you turn and cry Times when you can't make sense of it all Are just the times when you need to fight The secrets we all carry This thing that we all know Too painful to speak about Too painful for my soul (chorus) It's not as if we cared anyway, it's just a Little holiday cheer and now it's all gone away But I can see your face in the moonlight and I'll Never take a chance for granted again Some folks like to gamble with their money Some like to drink and fight Sometimes you just need a body to hold To keep you warm on a sleepless night Now some say love is a poison And some say that it's a lie Some say its all that a man looks for Before I find it I think I'll die (chorus) If I could find your secret Can I find what makes you free Can't I get over my own, my little My mistaken identity The doctors watching over This lonely bullet-riddled facade Is that the length that love can go To stop the bleeding from my soul (chorus) 2x Don't let me take a chance for granted Don't wanna take a chance for granted again |
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Hebrew final today... about to go study more.... making up my Roman history and Astronomy finals tomorrow. Then I'm done! I'm not QUITE as sick anymore as I've been for the last 2 weeks..... |
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| Monday, December 15th, 2003 |
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First real kiss: Millie, a girl from Tennessee while we were both vacationing in Florida First job: delivering pizzas for Fish Hut First screen name: Capeman (named after Salvador Agron, immortalized in a musical by Paul Simon... interesting character) First self-purchased album: Not really sure.... probably Jimi Hendrix: The Ultimate Experience First funeral: not sure... First pet: Annie, our beagle, who survived a bunch of crap including a tornado and then got hit by a car at age like 12 or something like that. First piercing: never had any First true love: Krystal Last big car ride: Probably Cornerstone 2003 Last kiss: Saturday afternoon when Sara left to go back to California via her grandma's house in Portland, IN Last good cry: Good cry? Hmm... been awhile... October, maybe? No, November, the night before IDOP. Last movie seen: In the theater: Watched Sleepers again on HBO yesterday. Last beverage drank: a cup of lukewarm water Last food consumed: had a bowl of noodle soup last night Last phone call: Talked to Larry on the phone last night about stuff Last TV show watched: the early morning program on Fox News this morning Last shoes worn: wearing my black and blue bowler-wannabe sneakers right now Last CD played: Listened to Achtung Baby by U2 in the shower this morning. Last item bought: a bottle of Bacardi for Sara's homecoming (still 4/5 of it left in the fridge) Last disappointment: Sara left on Saturday and won't be back until January. Got to see her for about 18 hours after being gone all semester. Last soda drank: vanilla Coke (w/ Bacardi) Last ice cream eaten: That's been awhile.... no it hasn't- had cookie dough Dippin Dots on Thursday at the mall with Fred. Last shirt worn: wearing a fluffy blue, grey, and green sweatshirt for like the third day in a row |
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1) What's the middle name of first person you slept with? I'm going to assume you mean in a sexual manner... heh... nah, I think I'll not be a smart-ass for this question. Raye. 2) What kind of underwear are you wearing, and what color are they? none 3) What song do you want played at your funeral? Where the Streets Have No Name by U2, preferably the Elevation DVD version where Bono recites from Psalms. 4) What is the number of your sluttiest friend so that some of your single friends can get some action? I don't think I have any slutty friends. 5) What would your last meal be before being executed? Just drag me out in the hall and get it over with. If I must eat, then I guess take me to B-dubs for some wings and beer 'cause that seems to be my diet staple lately anyway. 6) Beatles or Stones? Beatles. Always. Stupid question. 7) If you had to pick one person on earth to die, who would it be? Honestly, I can't say that about anyone. Elton John wrote the song- Live and Let Die. He didn't say anything about picking them specifically to die ;-) 8) The person whose problems you wouldn't want to hear? Someone whose biggest problem is whether they should get creme or eggshell for their next set of curtains. 9) What is the thing most important to you about the preferred sex? the ability to put up with my astoundingly inane sense of humor, and be honest about laughing at my dumb jokes. Hmmm... does that mean I want a dumb chick? Nah. I can't stand stupid people. I just like eccentric ones, I guess. 10) Do you secretly hate some of your friends but are too nice to reject them? nope 11) If you could have any superpower, what would it be? The ability to interface with a computer by thought alone 12) Favorite hangover cure? a) drink more b) drink water until I piss for 45 minutes straight 13) How many drinks does it take to get you drunk? At least 7 or 8 within a couple of hours 14) Favorite Outkast lyric? never listened to anything of theirs. 15) Hair color you most like someone you date to have? since I've only dated one person in the last year and a half, I'll take brown for $500, Alex. 16) If you had to be blind or deaf, which would you choose? Blind. Music is too much of my livelihood. I could get someone to drive me around. 17) Do you have any psychiatric problems? bipolar 18) Siblings that should go to rehab? I could rehab her a bit ;-) 19) Least favorite month? The last two weeks of February, unless it snows about 3 feet. 20) Favorite hateful thing to do to somebody? Post snide remarks about them on the internet. Not that I'd ever DO that, mind you.... 21) First movie you remember seeing as a kid? Star Trek II, at the drive-in at Oakland City when I was like 2 22) Favorite people in the whole world? Sara, Leah, Fred, Lahti, Justin, the Bowmans, Emmy (haven't seen her for a looong time), Doug, a few of my ILJ-buds. And Larry. Can't forget Larry. 23) When's the last time you went on a date? Went out? Hmmm.... I guess Saturday counts when Sara and I went to Bobos. The whole weekend was pretty much a date, I made dinner Friday night and we hung out, then fell asleep watching a movie (oops) and went to Bobos the next day. She'd just gotten back from Harlaxton. 24) Do you like violent movies or dirty movies? I have no problem with either if it advances the story and the story is good. 25) Fall or spring? Fall. There's still baseball, and football is starting. 26) Person you most wish you hadn't made out with? Hmmm... I think regret is a ridiculous concept, so I can't really name names. My first gf was an evil wench, though. *shudders* Stacey was probably a bad idea. 27) If you are straight, what person of the same sex would you do it with? The key word is straight. That means none. 28) Where do you want to live when you are old and brittle? Someplace where I can write books about all the stuff I've been thinking about for a hundred years. Except that I probably won't live long enough to get old and brittle. 29) Who is the person you can count on the most? Leah, that's probably about it most of the time. Sara's getting there. Ok, and Lahti, and Fred. Larry's getting into that arena. 30) If you could date any celebrity, past or present, time and age are not a factor..? Tori Amos right before she got famous. 31) What books have you pretended to read? A few World Cultures books freshman and sophomore years. 32) What's a word you'd use to describe your life? adventurous (I'd like to think) 33) What did you dream about last night? a world without finals 34) Favorite vices? Good dark beer, medium-to-expensive cigars on the roof of the Weinbach house. 35) What's the last thing you'd ever tell someone? Right, like I'd say it here. |
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| Wednesday, November 5th, 2003 |
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To answer your question from a couple of days ago- yeah, it seems normal to me. I feel funny every time I talk to Krystal and she talks about her bf. Don't feel bad, it is normal... even though maybe it shouldn't be. There are a lot of things that are more normal than they should be. And that wasn't entirely what I meant about the sex thing, but I think you're sharp enough to know that. I got a couple of emails the other day from you but they were dated like this past summer, apparently there was a glitch somewhere (don't you just love technology). Something about wanting me to sell your guitar. Do you still want that, or do you want me to hold onto it and try and get it to you sometime? Glad to hear you and Michael are still happily together, can't say I've never had my reservations about it but then, you know me- I have my reservations about EVERYTHING (especially about myself). Maybe some time I'll get past the reservation part and actually check in to the hotel. Good to hear you're doing ok. |
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| Tuesday, October 28th, 2003 |
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since I could.... update my journal (to the tune of Incubus) I don't have anything actually good to say so I'm going to steal this survey from Cera (who stole it from someone else). Maybe this time I'll remember to erase all her answers unlike last time when I left some of hers in and it was.... interesting. LAYER ONE: Limbo -- Name: Jason -- Birthplace: Evansville, IN, raised in Petersburg -- Current Location: Evansville -- Eye Color: blue/green/brown (at different times) -- Hair Color: brown -- Height: 5'6" -- Righty or Lefty: righty LAYER TWO: The Lustful -- Your heritage: Scottish, English (Anglo-Saxon), Irish, French Huguenot, German, Ukrainian, native American, probably more with which I'm not familiar. -- Your weakness: My most glaring weakness, I would say, is my tendency to overanalyze everything to the point of absurdity. Either that or my inability to get out of bed in the morning. Or maybe it's my propensity for procrastination. -- Your fears: not making the world different -- Your perfect pizza: thick, soft crust with every meat topping imaginable, plus mushrooms. -- Goal you'd like to achieve: short term- giving the younger students at UE my passion for worship. long term- giving everyone else... see previous statement. LAYER THREE: The Gluttonous -- Your most overused phrase on AIM/MSN: does O:-) count? -- Your thoughts first waking up: Oh damn, what time is it? -- Your best physical feature: definitely my hair -- Your bedtime: usually around 3am-ish LAYER FOUR: The Avaricious -- Pepsi or Coke: unsweetened tea -- McDonald's or Burger King: Wendy's -- Single or group dates: generally single, though group sex can be fun (just kidding). -- Adidas or Nike: since Nike recently bought out Adidas, that's like saying "water or H2O". -- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Neither, I prefer Earl Grey, but Lipton will do. -- Chocolate or vanilla: you can't get chocolate enough for me. -- Cappuccino or coffee: coffee. black. as strong as you can get. Seriously, I once drank like 6 cups of Turkish coffee. I don't think it gets any stronger than that- the stuff was almost syrup! LAYER FIVE: The Wrathful -- Smoke: socially, only cigars and only with certain people -- Cuss: too often, but working on that -- Sing: constantly -- Take a shower every day: usually, though I haven't yet today (woke up too close to class, and I had 2 tests to cram for) -- Have a crush(es): I've been madly in love for slightly over a year. Does that count? -- Do you think you've been in love: see above -- Want to go to college: GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!! -- want to go back to high school: There are certain things I'd like to go back and do differently, but no, not really. -- Want to get married: Eventually. Mostly I just want to have sex. That's a joke, for those of you who are humor-impaired. I'm in no hurry, the former is awfully committed and the latter is overrated without the former. -- Believe in yourself: as long as I try to see myself as God sees me -- Get motion sickness: occasionally -- Think you're attractive: not especially, though Sara disagrees :-) -- Think you're a health freak: *checks desk* mmm, Ben and Jerry's butter pecan ice cream.... -- Get along with your parents: For the most part, though I almost killed my dad back in September. -- Like thunderstorms: Oh yeah- I used to be a tornado chaser :-D -- Play an instrument: *deep breath* saxophone, guitar, bass, mandolin, drums, various percussion, digeridoo, trumpet, trombone, horn, euphonium, tuba, clarinet, a little piano, even less organ, working on harmonica, banjo, and fiddle. LAYER SIX: The Heretics In the past month . . . -- Drank alcohol: yep -- Smoked: yep -- Done a drug: does my Zyrtec-D count? -- Had sex: nope -- Made out: nope- the gf is in England... *sigh* -- Gone on a date: nope -- Gone to the mall?: once, to get ice cream -- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: nope -- Eaten sushi: no, but I dig it -- Been on stage: depends on how you define stage. I've performed several times, and also played in worship groups, but none of it was actually on a stage, proper. -- Been dumped: been dumped ON -- Gone skating: nope... no time and it's not frozen yet. -- Made homemade cookies: yep :-D -- Gone skinny dipping: nope, but I should before it gets cold. -- Dyed your hair: not in about a year and a half... -- Stolen anything: hearts ;-) (rrrrrright) LAYER SEVEN: The Violent Ever . . . -- Played a game that required removal of clothing? yep -- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: yep -- Been caught doing something: "something" would be.... ? I've been caught doing many things, not necessarily in a negative sense each time. -- Been called a tease: Sara calls me that sometimes ;-) -- Gotten beaten up: yeah, not for a few years though -- Shoplifted: when I was like 12 -- Changed who you were to fit in: I'm not sure this is a valid question because of the complexity of human interpersonal relationships. I think that by definition you change who you are to meet with any person on an existential level. Remember what I said above about over-analyzing? LAYER EIGHT: The Fraudulent -- Age you hope to be married: 25-26 is looking increasingly more likely -- Numbers and Names of Children: not a clue. I'm starting to think I would rather adopt children from a poor country than have my own. -- Describe your Dream Wedding: as long as Sara's there and it's a really long drive to the reception with a blacked-out window blocking the back seat of the car from the front.... heh heh heh Just kidding, if we're waiting however many years we can probably handle 3 or 4 more hours ;-) -- How do you want to die: I have this martyrdom complex. -- Where you want to go to college: After UE? Probably Asbury Seminary. -- What do you want to be when you grow up: grow up? -- Country would you most like to visit: I'd like to go back to Scotland and Russia. I'd really like to visit various parts of Africa and continental Europe. LAYER NINE: The Treacherous In a guy/girl . . . -- Best eye color: brown -- Best hair color: brown -- Short or long hair: shoulder-length is fine -- Height: I like to be able to look her eye-to-eye -- Best weight: pleasingly plump -- Best articles of clothing: whatever -- Best first date location: my campus apartment last year watching Fight Club -- Best first kiss location: ditto gee, guess who I just described... heh heh heh LAYER TEN: Dis Himself -- Number of drugs taken illegally: define "illegal". One that is definitely illegal, though probably some technical issues with prescription drugs might count in some legal context or another. -- Number of people I could trust with my life: 8-10 -- Number of CDs that I own: around 100 -- Number of piercings: none -- Number of tattoos: none -- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: a few, at least -- Number of scars on my body: not sure, a lot from chicken pox and a couple from when I tried to scar-tattoo myself in junior high and a few from cigarette lighter burns. -- Number of things in my past that I regret: I think regret is futile and pointless. Regret is hopeless; forget regret and embrace transformation. Just a few thoughts and answers, catch y'all later. |
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| Wednesday, May 14th, 2003 |
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I have a job- the plant called today. Hopefully soon they'll tell me when I'm starting. Come see the band! We're playing at 221 on Saturday at about 8:30 pm with one other band, Perc15. www.thesungazers.com I'm going to go out and work on getting the camper I'm living in this summer cleaned out. |
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| Friday, May 9th, 2003 |
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Pick a band and answer only using that band's song titles. I chose: U2 1. Are you male or female?: Wake Up Dead Man 2. Describe yourself: Bad 3. How do some people feel about you?: Is That All? 4. How do you feel about yourself?: I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For 5. Describe an old girlfriend/boyfriend/interest: Bullet the Blue Sky 6. Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend/interest: All I Want is You (or Desire) 7. Where would you rather be?: Van Dieman's Land (which, by the way, is New Zealand) 8. Where are you? American Prayer 9. Describe what you want to be: Grace 10. Describe how you live: Zooropa 11. Describe how you love: Do You Feel Loved 12. Share a few words of wisdom: Walk on That was fun! And not as hard as I thought it would be. |
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Hawaii ruled. I'm done with school. I wrote two good papers, one being my personal theodicy and the other being for my Paul's letters class. Now I have to pack all my junk up and find a place to put it at home, which will be interesting since there is no Jason bedroom at the new house. Then I have to find a job. In the middle of this, I'm trying to arrange shows for The Sungazers. Fun fun fun! http://www.thesungazers.com |
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| Wednesday, April 16th, 2003 |
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I'm probably going to spend a year in East Africa (Kenya, Tanzania, and Uganda) after I graduate college. I'll need to raise 10 grand to do that. Pray for me. This is the organization I'll be interning with. And I need to learn Swahili (well, don't NEED to, but it would help). |
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| Monday, April 7th, 2003 |
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Well, today was the one-year anniversary of Jeff's death. For those of you who don't remember, Jeff was a campus minister here at school who died suddenly of a heart attack at or around (can't exactly remember) age 30. He was one of my close friends, and losing him was like losing a part of myself. Interaction had a get-together tonight and we watched the video from his funeral and talked a bit about our memories of him- it was amazing, emotional but also a great bonding experience and I think very healing. Even after a whole year, there is still a lot of pain. But at least now we know that he is with Jesus. I've been thinking a lot about Jeff since I got accepted to the student leadership team for the year for Interaction. We really want to continue in his vision for this ministry as we begin to work with the new campus minister who was hired to carry on Jeff's work (I can never call him a replacement). I'm really excited about what God's going to do in the next year. Please, pray for us. Jason |
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| Friday, March 28th, 2003 |
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| Apparently my band consistently has a top-20 song on mp3.com's Psychadelic chart. That equals about 6-10 listens per day, so it doesn't really mean a whole lot, but it's still cool! | ||||
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| a lab computer kind of destroyed the disk containing 17 pages worth of paper for my Paul and his letters class........ it was en route to about 25 pages. FORTUNATELY, the prof was very understanding and said I can turn it in whenever I have time. UNFORTUNATELY, I was planning on having this done and out of the way and now I'm going to have to crunch to get my Evil paper done before I leave for Hawaii for a week. | ||||
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LiveJournal for Ruke.
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amused.
discontent.
contemplative.