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08:19pm 09/04/2004 |
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struggle. live on. no, i dont see any reason. so, bye... |
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12:04am 03/04/2004 |
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damn frigging neighbours. starting to play loud bad music when im going to bed. i totally hate neighbours. |
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10:42am 02/04/2004 |
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I see: naruto I need: girls I find: this keyboard great I want: to be loved I have: dirtyness I wish: to meet friends ive never met I love: tea I hate: reality I miss: being creative I fear: men I feel: unexplainable I hear: car trolley passing by outside I smell: so? I crave: better computer I search: for a new place to stay I wonder: why im not rich I regret: being born
When was the last time you ...
Smiled?: yesterday Laughed?: yesterday Cried?: yesterday Bought something?: two days ago Danced?: 7 years? Were sarcastic?: im not Kissed someone?: to long ago Talked to an ex?: monday Watched your favorite movie?: all movies i watch are favorites Had a nightmare?: very rare here
A Last time for everything ...
Last book you read: dont remember Last movie you saw: L.I.E. Last song you heard: beethoven, 9th symphony Last thing you had to drink: tea Last time you showered: yesterday Last thing you ate: selfmade sandwhich
Do You ...
Smoke?: No Do drugs?: No Have sex?: No Sleep with stuffed animals?: yes Live in the moment?: very much.. Have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: No Have a dream that keeps coming back?: no Play an instrument?: sometimes Believe there is life on other planets?: sometimes... Remember your first love?: yes Still love him/her?: No Read the newspaper?: No Have any gay or lesbian friends?: Yes, and straight ones too Believe in miracles?: No. Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?: no Consider yourself tolerant of others?: Yes. Consider love a mistake?: no Like the taste of alcohol?: no Have a favorite candy?: liqurice Believe in astrology?: No Believe in magic?: somewhat Believe in God?: No Pray?: No Go to church?: No Have any secrets?: Yes Have any pets: to many Do well in school?: no im not in school :p Go to or plan to go to college?: sometime, yes Have a major?: no Talk to strangers who instant message you?: strangers? *hides* Wear hats?: no Have any piercings?: Ears Have any tattoos?: No Hate yourself?: sometimes Have an obsession?: oh yeah Have a secret crush?: yes Do they know yet?: then it wouldnt be secret? Collect anything?: everything. no getting rid of stuff here Have a best friend?: no Wish on stars?: nope Like your handwriting?: whatever Have any bad habits?: eating Care about looks?: no Boy/girlfriend's looks?: no Friends and other people?: No Believe in witches?: i might Believe in Satan?: no Believe in ghosts?: sometimes :p |
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11:12pm 17/02/2004 |
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music: Blumchen - Dankst Du Manchmal Noch An Mir
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Interview. The Interview
If you want to be interviewed by me drop me a comment. I will set you five Questions which you will post along with the answers in your own personal journal, along with this text.
If you have questions for me, ask in a comment and I will answer there.
Kthnx.
1] The best thing about bunnies, is _____________________? that they are so personal and themself all the time. 2] How's the world treating you today? kinda bothering me, first ppl with bible came and then ppl that wanted license for tv-stuff. but i got ride of em both ;) 3] Do you have any quirks with regards to physical things? dont think so. really got me thinking though, might answer differentiley later :p 4] What would you say is your most 'controversial' opinion? that i think male ppl are pure evil 5] What languages do you speak? swedish, english, sign language |
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02:26pm 03/01/2004 |
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001) What time are you starting this?: 13.57 002) Name?: Lena. 003) Date of birth?: july 11th 1981 004) Sex?: female. 005) Height?: short and handy to get in wherever noone else can :p 006) Eye color?: blue, most of the times. 008) Location?: sweden, norrk?ping, marielund 009) Where were you born?: tr?ngsund, stockholm 010) Have you ever failed a grade?: oh yeah. 011) If you have, what grade did you fail?: a bunch? 012) Do you have crush on someone?: dont think so. 013) Do you have a bf/gf?: No 014) If so, what is their name: -- 015) How long have you been together?: -- 016) What are you wearing right now?: uhm. my clothes.
--- If anyone has seen 17, please let me know. ---
018) Have you ever had a crush on any of your teachers?: mebbe 019) Do you smoke?: No 020) Do you drink?: not alcohol. 023) What are your favourite colours?: black mostly. 024) What is your favourite animal?: rabbits, guinea pigs, uhm.. dont make me pic *looks paniced* 025) Do you have any birthmarks?: yup 026) Have you ever gotten your ass kicked?: no.. 027) Who are your best friends? dont have any, i think 028) Have you ever beat someone up?: Yes 029) Who do you talk to most on the phone?: phone? *looks around nervously* 030) Have you ever been slapped?: Yes 031) Do you get online a lot?: Yes 032) Are you shy or outgoing?: depends on situations and how i feel. 033) Do you shower?: shower or bath, which suits the time... 034) Do you hate school?: no some ppl do learn something there :p 035) Do you have a social life?: i have a life, that is enough. 036) How easily do you trust people? *hides* 037) Have you ever lied to your best friends?: dont have any best friends. 038) Do you have a secret people would be surprised knowing?: they are finding out right now. 039) Would you ever sky dive?: No 040) Do you like to dance?: sometimes 041) Have you ever been out of state: never been in state either. or that depends, which state youre talking about :p 042) Do you like to travel?: by myself, sometimes. 043) Have you ever been expelled from school?: nope. 044) Have you ever been suspended from school?: nope 045) Do you want to get out of your hometown?: no 046) Are you spoiled?: No 047) Are you a brat?: No 048) Have you ever been dumped?: yes 049) Have you ever gotten high?: high on emotions.. 050) What's your favourite drink?: coke 051) Do you like Snapple?: err? 052) Do you drink a lot of water?: no 053) What toothpaste do you use?: cant remember 054) Do you have a cell phone or pager?: cell. 055) Do you have a curfew?: No 056) Who do you look up to?: people longer than me. ;) 057) Are you a role model?: nah. 058) What name brand do you wear the most?: yuck, brands. 059) What kind of jewellery do you wear?: earrings, right now some i got from mom a long time ago. 060) What do you have pierced?: Ears 061) What do you want pierced?: men. in most painful ways. 062) Do you like to take pictures?: a lots 063) Do you like getting your picture taken?: depends on the photographer. 064) Do you have a tan?: tan from monitor? :p 065) Do you get annoyed easily?: dunno. 066) Have you ever started a rumour/joke? dunno 067) Do you have your own phone/phone line?: yes 068) Do you have your own pool?: No 069) Do you have any siblings?: Yes 073) Do you get along with your parents?: no 074) How do you vent your anger?: in the worst way. 075) Have you ever run away?: yeah 076) Have you ever been fired from a job?: no 077) Do you even have a job?: no 078) Do you daydream a lot?: nah 079) Do you have a lot of exes?: no 081) What do you want a tattoo of?: hm... dunno yet. 082) What do you have a tattoo of?: nuthing 083) What are your favourite flowers?: flowers that arent in my apartment. 086) Have you ever been bitched out?: hm? 087) When was the last time you bitched someone out?: still hm. 088) Are you rude?: not only. 089) What was the last compliment you received?: that im wounderful. ppl are so wrong. 092) Are you flexible?: no, same shit different day. 093) What is your heritage?: totalboringswede 094) What is your lucky number?: dunno. 095) What does your hair look like right now?: like it want. 096) Could you ever be a vegetarian?: i am. 097) When was your last real heartbreak?: some years ago. 098) Describe your looks?: boring? 099) If you had to completely dye your hair it'd be what colour?: darkredishthingy 100) Would you ever date someone younger than you?: dunno 101) Would you ever date someone older than you?: not much in that case 102) When was the last time you were drunk?: 1994, or something 103) When was the last time you went on a date?: i dont date, i meet ppl whenever. 107) Have you ever had an eating disorder?: mebbe 108) Do you have one now?: some should say. 109) How many rings until you answer the phone?: not so many now, getting good at it 110) Have you ever been skinnydipping?: yep 111) If yes, when was the last time?: last summer 112) Do you look more like your mother or father?: *hides* can i look as me? 113) Do you cry a lot?: No 114) Do you ever cry to get your way?: No 115) If you had to amputate one limb, what would it be?: i kinda need em.. 116) What phrase do you use most when on the phone: okey, bye 117) Are you the romantic type?: No 118) Have you ever been chased by cops?: No
--- omg, the question thieves have been here again ---
122) In the opposite sex, do you prefer blondes or brunettes?: i dont like the opposite sex 123) What do the shoes you last wore look like?: boots. 124) Do you ever wear shirts to show your belly?: not so anyone can see it. 125) What about cleavage?: huh? 126) Is your best friend a virgin?: still dont have a bestfriend, stop asking. 130) What theme does your room have?: comfortable 131) What size shoe do you wear?: 39 :p 132) What jewellery are you wearing now?: didnt you ask that? 133) What is your screen name on AIM?: my screen name on aim. 134) Would you pick a wedgie in public?: wedgie? *confused* 135) How are you feeling right now?: dunno. 136) When was the last time you were at a party?: when? dont remember. but i was there. 137) Have you ever given a lapdance?: No 138) What do you sleep in?: my mind. 139) Has there ever been a rumour spread about you?: oh yeah 140) What is one of your bad qualities?: being social 141) What is one of your good qualities?: stubborn. 142) Would you marry for money?: no. marriage creeps me out 143) What do you drive?: webserver. 145) Are you more of a mama or daddy's child?: im no child. 146) What does your lj username mean?: it represents me. 147) What's your favourite lj to read?: dunno. 148) When was the last time you cried in school?: when i was in school? 149) For two million dollars, would you pose for Playboy?: never. yuck. 150) What time are you finishing this?: 14.26 |
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11:56pm 27/11/2003 |
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 |
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11:03pm 25/11/2003 |
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damn. everything is bad right now. im shaking, and its not physical. guess anxiety is coming. and tears. i hate myself now. |
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08:56am 24/11/2003 |
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mood:  calm
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just got home, which is nice, tjabo is so cuddly. and im all dirty, cause yeah well, my friends dont have any shower yet. so ugh. im a go shower soon before i freak out. and something else that is really nice is that it is snowing. |
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life is life |
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11:55pm 18/11/2003 |
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mood:  irritated
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i'm... not good with handleing this life thing... what is the point of it? for the first time in a really long time i feel like... gah, im not gonna finish that sentence. i'm going to this big shopping thingy tomorrow, will be gone all day... and. im thinking. as long as i have money to feed my animals, nothing else matters. and i cant afford anything else, soon. but hey, i got a lot of noodles. so. thats what im gonna eat. i wish someone wd explain to me how i am supposed to survive on 3000 SEK (which is after rent and phone, broadband etc) cause i always go three weeks a month with just ten crowns in my pocket. i hate that. i hate me. i always been thinking... that someone else should have been born instead of me. that actually would love life. but here i sit and fight to get through each day. i dont call this a life. its like holding on. and ive been holding on for such a long time now, that a slip wouldnt come unspected. but i dont give a damn anymore. hate me world, cause i hate you. deserve my arm to be scared and show my pain, to let the blood run and i will not hide anymore. i hate you, world. i hate you imo. i just hate you. you are so bad. |
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03:42pm 12/11/2003 |
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My insulting name is Penisbreath Semenquaffer! What's yours?
right. uhm. no thanxs. |
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the hardest thing in this world is to live in it |
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02:38pm 12/11/2003 |
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bad day today as well. im updating some security stuff windows need. and playing theme hospital. they have green patients. glowing. woohoo. my shrink is coming up with hey soon. and the place is a mess, but whatever.
going to go play later. with some ppl i dont really know. i know one of them. only. eek. im kinda tired and annoyed cause i aint got any money. |
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02:31pm 11/11/2003 |
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Are you a boy/girl? girl Age: 22 Age you began to cut: 13 Does anyone know you cut? Yes Does your parent(s)/guardian(s)? not sure Do you ever burn or bruise yourself? No Do you think that you are depressed? Yes Do you think you have anxiety problems? Yes Do you think you have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)? maybe Do you have any other disorders? asperger syndrom, damp (add), social phobia etc Do you have an eating disorder? some kind of, yes Are you on meds? yes Have you been hospitalized or been to the ER for self injury/suicide attempt? yes Have you tried to commit suicide? (multiple times how many?) yes, 3-4 times How? pills Does anyone know that you tried? yes Have you ever been sexually assaulted? yes How ( if you don't mind saying)? mind saying. Do you do drugs? (what, how much, how often)? no Do you think of cutting as a good or bad thing? good Do you wish you could stop? nah. Do you wish to stop in the future? nah What are your feelings leading up to, during and after cutting? more anxiety. When you cut does it hurt? yes, mostly that im after Do you bandage your cuts? no Where do you most normally cut? arms, hands Are you alone? yes Do you have a weapon of choice, do you carry it with you? scissor, no Have you ever made a weapon out of something ordinary or something you found? yes What have you used to injure yourself? razors, knives, safety pins, nails, keys, scissors, other ppl How do you feel about your cuts/scars, do they tell a story? no story. but a part of me... Have people ever asked about your cuts/scars? Yes What did you tell them? i lied. now i say that i cut. Do you ever design a cut (make it decorative or in a certain shape)? no Are your cuts lines or in rows, or designs? lines. Have you ever cut too deep? no Do you go to therapy? no Do you have trust issues? yes Do you sit in corners? corners are good, so is the floor Do you know people or hang out with people who cut? i know several, meet some sometimes... |
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07:47am 11/11/2003 |
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i just realized... today is the one day i hate most of all days.
but yesterday was kinda good. |
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07:45am 09/11/2003 |
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i got a sui tip last nite. it seems alright. the person didn't know that i live in the shadow of suicide. lucky me. i aint telling either ;) |
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11:49pm 07/11/2003 |
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 Young. Really young. I'd say anywhere from 15-35. But you'll go out with a bang. You'll get in a car accident or be shot. You'll never have to see yourself get old. Sad though. Really sad. By the way, its common knowledge that more people with great goals and aspirations die young. And if you want to die old, you'll die young and vice versa.
At what age will you die? brought to you by Quizilla
thank you |
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