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[13 Nov 2003|10:55am] |
It's been forever.
I've moved to Welland. I adopted a rabbit. I'm attending school. I'm having a hard time with the ontario works office because they refuse to update my file. Every time I go I have to bring and give them a new intent-to-rent form and proof I am attending school. Despite my giving them these things several times already. They promise to file my paperwork, but the next time I go it's the same thing all over again. "Oh, you never gave us these"
Oh, yes I fucking did.
I had to borrow money to pay the rent. If I don't get my cheque soon I'll be out on the street again.
Whatever.
Everything feels so tenuous lately. My home, my school, my family, life itself. All stability has crumbled away. I'm not immune to anything.
I got my midterm marks. They're all well in the 90%'s. I'm not as happy as I should be though because I feel as though it will be somehow possible for it to drop to 30% by the end of the school year.
I've been working really hard but not nearly as hard as I know i'm capable of.
Snid died. All the old crew who emigrated from Diaryland to here ought to know that. It happened over a month ago. She was out partying and someone slipped something in her drink. It killed her.
What scares me more is that it could have been anyone. Someone slipped something in Blondie's drink a little while back and she was up all night vomitting and passing out. She lived, and I'm so thankful for that. But it could have been her. Or any of us.
One more thing to be paranoid about.
Mom's been uber stressed out lately. Dad and Drew think she's some kind of personal maid service. Ready to pay all their debts, do all their housework, cook all their food. Working full time and being a full time maid is taking it's toll on mom. She seems like she's on the verge of tears so often lately.
She told me not to tell anyone in case it got back to dad, but I need to get this out somewhere. She's leaving next week.
For real this time. Auntie Coleen's already arranged for the moving truck and plane ticket.
And just like that, there goes my family stability. For the first time in my life, my mommy will be three thousand miles away from me. And it scares the hell out of me. She told me it will be for three to six months but I know she isn't really coming back. What is there to come back to here? She told me that I'm going out there with her when I finish school. See? She's staying.
"Don't tell anyone"
Time to avoid scandal. Time to keep quiet and pretend everything is okay. I was told the same thing when my sister was sick. she had cancer and a nervous breakdown. But what would people think of the family if anyone really knew how sick she was? I had to keep quiet and pretend everything was okay.
The scary part is when you convince yourself everything is okay. On a conscious level, you don't even remember what is wrong or what is fucked up. Then you feel every day like something isn't right. The discontent follows you everywhere and you feel angry at yourself for feeling so wrong when everything around you is going so right.
Then one day you realize that things are fucking up. It occurs to you that she really did have cancer and you never bothered thinking about it. Or that your mother is leaving and you never bothered thinking about it. Or that you could become homeless soon and you never bothered thinking about it.
Then you look around yourself and wonder what happened to the emotions.
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[27 Sep 2003|06:11pm] |
i'm updating from an internet cafe in London.
No, I do not live here now. I am here visiting...Gaia :D
I don't have much to say other than things are going a bit all right lately....but will all fall to shit if i don't find a job very soon.
So, let's all hope for that job, shall we?
Today a thrift shop was having a Ten Dollar Bag Sale so I got a belt, a scarf, some ties, a book, and probably some other things. I've been on the hunt for a certain vinyl record lately that is being really elusive, but as it'll be a gift for one of my loyal readers, I'm not mentioning what I'm looking for here.
The book I got is called Very Bad Poetry. I can't wait to read it.
Tomorrow I go back home to the room I'm renting in Port. Fun, fun, fun.
Gonna miss Gaia :( London seems so big and progressive compared to Niagara....there's all sorts of bookstores, thrift stores, cafes, etc here......and soooo much vegan food. I had Pad Thai for the first time yesterday and it was really good....
I'm gonna miss London too ;]
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[19 Aug 2003|06:51pm] |
I moved out of my parent's home yesterday, again, and for the last time.
Shit went down like this:
All day, I was cleaning upstairs. I was halfway through cleaning my bedroom, and I did a lot of laundry, as well as all my dad's laundry.
Then, I went downstairs, and spent an hour online.
Then dad came home, saw me on the computer, told me I was lazy, that the house was a pigsty and I should still be cleaning, called me a few times, threatened to smash the computer, and then he started to throw things around; for example, he picked up andrew's backpack and when he threw it I could hear glass shattering inside.
I told Dad to stop throwing people's things and stop acting like a three year old cuz if he thinks he can get away with being an asshole, he could fuck himself. He told me to fuck myself and kept throwing stuff.
So I went upstairs, shredded his clothing, and left.
I didn't know where to go because I don't have any friends that live in Port anymore. So i went to the Participark and sat there for a bit, cutting myself with a sharp stone and focusing on that instead of how much my family sucks. Then I got a ride to Patrick's house, which is where I am today.
One of my mom's friends offered to let me stay at her home for a bit, an offer I gladly accepted. I'm moving there tomorrow.
this has been another episode in Adventures in Kayleen's life.
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| The hilarity continues |
[01 Aug 2003|10:30pm] |
Spookatica: me = dork :]
[Danni]: you're a WHALE PENIS??
[Danni]: i didn't know they could type
[Danni]: :-\
Spookatica: Well, yes. Typing is much better than my other day job, believe you me.
[i deleted Danni's real aim name for privacy's sake.]
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| Random AIM silliness. |
[01 Aug 2003|02:31pm] |
Spookatica: aw. Pat shakes three times.
dyskorat: four, normally. you shake it more than twice, you're playing with it. but why not? it's already in your hand.
dyskorat: may as well.
kallimas dream: enjoying some awkward silence with Nic
Spookatica: Ay.
Spookatica: You should break the silence.
Spookatica: Try farting.
kallimas dream: man today i farted the beginning of a Silverchair song
Spookatica: Oh. My.
kallimas dream: kind of like Brian tuning his guitar.
kallimas dream: it was the first two chords of a Silverchair song
kallimas dream: at first i was like "woh, that was pretty deep"
kallimas dream: then i'm like "hey wait! Silverchair!"
kallimas dream: i tried to play the rest of the song...but you know...never quite works out the way I want it to
Spookatica: aw. Did it turn into spice girls or something?
kallimas dream: haha not quite
kallimas dream: i think it was Hanson
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| Happy hatchday to meeee |
[14 Jul 2003|10:39pm] |
So the other day was the Esperanto Somerfesto in Toronto. The guy who looks just like Zamenhof was not there. But, my friends Sonja and Clay were, so it was fun :) Scrabble Guy was there too, and he taught me this fun game called Quarto. Then we played "Kio mi estas?" and it turned out that I was Jesus. I had to decide who Detlef was going to be....so I wrote Detlef on a post-it, stuck it to his head, and he had to guess who he was. Hehehe. To tell you the truth, I never would have guessed who I was if i hadn't have looked up and been able to make out the "K" and the "S" through the post-it note....Eventually in my mind I was like "atendu...JESUO KRISTOS!"
So what else is new in the Katica abode. I made vegan caramel popcorn today and mmmmmm it was delicious. What else...Oh yes...
PARTY AT MY HOUSE!!!!!!
All my buddies are invited. No drugs allowed. BYOB but don't get smashed. Bring a tent if you wanna camp in the backyard. There will be a BBQ, bonfire, and maybe some kind of DIY project. There will be plenty of food there, and, of course, the Warner Brother's 1930's Cartoon Propaganda Drinking Game.
It's on July 18th at my place....I haven't set a start time yet, but hey...show up in the afternoon, leave whenever. :D
Hope to see ya there!
[birthday wishlist: postage stamps. burnt cd's. vegan recipes. a ride to Pat's show on the 19th]
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[11 Jul 2003|09:34pm] |
Dear diary,
Gaia is sexy.
Sincerly,
Katica
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[23 Jun 2003|07:23pm] |
I had such a long day.
So, I had spent all day cleaning away chicken poop, shovelling manure onto a dump trailer, and scrubbing floors. I was walking up the hill towards the upper animal hospital, when i see my housemate Kristi. She was on her day off, walking about the farm,taking photos of animals.
Me: "Hey, whatchya up to?"
Kristi: "Just about to go into the goat barn."
Me: "Ah. I don't go in there...TJ scares me."
Kristi: "Well if you want you can come in there with me and I'll introduce you to the other goats."
Seemed like a good idea.
So, background information:
Tj, the goat, is all of the following things:
- 350 pounds
- fucking HUGE
- the leader of his herd
- rescued from a cruelty case
- NOT fond of people.
Tj, also has the biggest goat horns I think I've ever seen.
So, Kristi and I are in the goat barn, and everything seems like it's going fine. Tj is a safe distance away from me and I'm surrounded by happy, friendly, tail-wagging goats who are entirely comfortable with me, a human, rubbing their necks and scratching their backs.
Then I turn around and see...Clark, a small white goat, has somehow managed to get his head stuck INSIDE the wooden thingies we put the hay in for the goats. My first reaction was "Uh...that's a bad thing, isn't it?"
Kristi and I go over, try to free him. Nope, he's pretty thoroughly stuck. So she goes to get help. I'm left alone. With the goats.
TJ does not like to have people or goats near the food for too long. He was also eyeing Clark in a way I wasn't fond of.
So I'm thinking to himself....Ok....if TJ butts Clark, Clark could suffer a neck injury because of his head being stuck.
And TJ...is approaching.
I figure, okay, maybe I can shoo him away. TJ was about to get right up to Clark when....he looks up at me.
Meep.
I grab him by the horn, and try to lead him away from Clark...
WHAM!!
I'm smacked in the chest by his horns.
I go running, TJ decides he's bored and goes outside to graze, leaving me again alone with Clark. Finally another housemate of mine shows up, and together we take all the hay out of the wooden thing and gently guide Clark's head out of the gap.
Disaster averted! Yay!
I spent a few more minutes petting goats, and off I went to go scoop more poop. Ahh what a day.
Afterwards:
me: "TJ laid the beats on me today."
Housemate: "Nah he was just showing who is boss. If he laid the beats on you, you'd be dead or in the hospital right now."
Me: "Oh. That's uh.....reassuring....ish...."
-----
I feel I should end with this tale with "and they all lived happily ever after. FIN!"
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[18 Jun 2003|04:53pm] |
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Today was full of death. Toree, the pig, Janie, the turkey, and several of the chickens. I feel really bad about Toree though because he had a brain tumor and we didn't know how bad it was until he got the cat scan today. It was huge and inoperable so he was euthanized.
Today Diana found a mouse while cleaning the chicken pen in the hospital. One of the chickens was holding it. She caught the chicken and I took the mouse from it's beak. The mouse was panting. Diana went to get a staff member and I held the mouse and stared helplessly while it gasped it's last breath.
I'm not dwelling on it. I'm supposed to be happy for the animals still living here. Their lives may have started out full of neglect and abuse and even torture, but once they arrive at the sanctuary there is no more of that; instead there's health care and sunshine and fresh grass and companionship and plenty of food and water and clean bedding...These animals tasted happiness.
It's just hard to remember that when you hold one in your hands as it takes it's last breath.
...
I'm not exactly upset. Just full of thoughts.
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[16 Jun 2003|05:38pm] |
I'm gonna do that "guess which number you are" thing. Cuz I have no life other than shovelling goat manure. So i'm going to take a break from that.
I'll try to squish most of you on it.:
1. I think your taste in fashion rocks and I hope you like the gro-dong. Where's my package?!
2. You seemed like a neat kid-o, I wish you didn't drop offline and stop updating your LJ. At least come on AIM sometime, eh? You need to teach me how to speak jewish! ;]
3. I miss you a lot. LOTS. You're perfect.
4. You kinda of remind me of "Paranoid Android" Marvin from Hitchiker's Guide.
5. My one boy-crush. Le sigh.
6. I can't wait to see you again. Because we ARE making a punk cover of a Dr Hook song. No buts.
7. You're a sweet girl and deserve a lot. I hope they unwire your jaw soon.
8. Girl, you have GOT to get laid.
9. Don't let anyone bring you down cuz you're an amazing person. You've been there for me for ten years and I expect us to be friends 10 x 10 more.
10. We don't talk much but you always have interesting LJ icons and interesting emoticons when you chat. XD
11. Are you avoiding me or is it coincidence that you drop offline whenever I come online? I promise I'm not stalking you.
12. One of the people I've written a song with. I can't believe we've been friends as long as we have been and have only seen each other like twice.
13. I am SO JEALOUS of your brother's stuffed Yoshi. you have no idea.
14. Thanks for helping me learn Esperanto, hopefully we'll meet up again soon.
15. Dude, are you OBSESSED with porn or something??
16. I can empathise with your family situation, hun. Hang in there cuz I have a feeling that things will turn out all right for you.
17. I was only kidding, you don't *have* to send me a dried fish in the mail.
If i've left you off the list it might be cuz i don't know you all that well enough to say anything. Sowwies
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[06 Jun 2003|09:15am] |
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Little thing to add; the chickens here have all been debeaked in factory farms. Farm sanctuary never mutilates their animals.
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[06 Jun 2003|08:52am] |
Yay! It's my day off! I can finally relax!
Right now I am watching A Cow At My Table [which is about factory farming conditions] and, well....sitting here in my pyjamas. I slept in today until *gasp!* eight o'clock in the morning!
This is it. I've BECOME my parents.
They love the morning and generally wake up like, crack of dawnish. If they sleep in until eight or nine they bemoan wasting so much of the day. Me? I'm usually a crack of noon type of person. Guess what time I woke up today, on my own free will....Eight o'clock. And that was sleeping in. Har!
So, I'm getting to know more of the animals here. I told you guys about Freedom. lemme introduce a few others! :D
Leo: Leo was a veal calf. See, what happens in the dairy industry is a cow can ONLY PRODUCE MILK IF SHE HAS A CALF. The idea that a cow *has* to be milked every day whether she's given birth or not, is bullshit. Bullshit bullshit bullshit. For every year a cow is milked, that's another baby calf that gets slaughtered for veal.
Veal calfs are prised for white tender flesh. This is acheived by keeping them in tiny crates where they can't move, and feeding them a liquid diet that has no protein or fiber. That way the calf gets anemia, and the anemia is what causes the tender white flesh.
I'm not certain how Leo was rescued, but he's grown up to be a BIG cow. He's like three thousand pounds. But he is very gentle. And SOFT. I couldn't believe how soft he was when I was petting him.
Celeste: Celeste is a 250 pound piglet with a broken leg. She was prolly rescued from an abuse case or something. She's a real sweetie though. Loves belly rubs. Poor girl can't go outside in case her cast gets wet, so she's been kinda depressed lately. I'm gonna go chill with her later so she won't be lonely. She's a pretty piggy; she's got a pink belly and a brown back and face, and her face has like a pink stripe. Awwwww.
Jack: Jack is an older pig, and he's 800 pounds. A lot of pigs start to get foot problems because they've been bred to be so huge [well, those that aren't slaughtered as babies] and so now Jack is lame and can't walk anymore. He's in a lot of pain and is being euthanized later this morning. I feel really bad about it but there isn't anything more to be done for him. I chilled with him yesterday and brought him some apple cores. I had to keep back tears though when I was petting him and talking to him.
Romy: Romy's a red hen with half a beak. Most of the rescued chickens here get their beaks cut short when they are chicks. The beaks have nerves in them and are used for a lot of things, so debeaking is pretty debilitating for them. Anyhow Romy's a very protective little hen and whenever I go collect eggs, she follows me around and bitches at me the whole time.
Just so you know, the eggs here get boiled and fed back to the chickens. Usually a chicken lays 70 eggs a year but these ones are altered to lay 250 eggs a year, so unless we get the calcium back into their bodies, they'll get brittle bones.
Hmm, who else can I talk about....OH MY GOD. SIMON!!!!!!!!!! Simon broke free from a halal meat market and was found wandering the streets in upstate new york. He is a baby [small!] runt [smaller!] pygmy [very small!] goat. HE'S THE TINIEST CUTEST THING ON THE PLANET!!!!!!!!! He's like thirty pounds and OMG i'm gonna marry him or something. I nearly die of cuteness overload whenever he headbutts me. He's black with a white nose and white ears and his little horns are only like an inch long. And he's VERY playful. He always tries to chew on drawstrings, zippers, etc. It's very cute.
Goats are gassy creatures though and his tummy makes a sound like a coffee percolater. Its cute in a weird sort of way.
Oooh....we have these two other goats here, Kiva and Wendy Jane. They were rescued from a farm where the farmer was poisoning his animals with arsenic. Both had been tethered their entire lives and had never walked on grass before. Both had nearly been starved to death. Now they have grass and food :D Wendy Jane is a doll! Her nose is PINK WITH BLACK SPOTS!!! it's so cute. I think of a ladybug whenever I see her. And they are CURIOUS little animals. Whenever I walk by their pen they both go outside and stare at me.
Well kids that's all today. I can go on forever talking about the animals here.
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[05 Jun 2003|12:35pm] |
Hi! I'm on my lunchbreak so I can't make this as in-depth as I would prefer. but lemme see...
I arrived safe and sound here on May 31st, and since then I've been a busy beaver.
A lot of the work itself here isn't so interesting; mostly I clean barns, collect eggs, mop floors, fill syringes with medicine, feed animals, etc etc....The animals here are certainly interesting though. A lot of their stories can be read online at www.farmsanctuary.com . For example, we have an all-white cow here named Freedom. When she was at the slaughterhouse, she panicked when she heard the screams of the other cows, so she jumped a six foot fence and ran like hell. She wasn't caught until two weeks later and the people who caught her brought her over to the farm sanctuary so she wouldn't have to be slaughtered.
My roomates here are very nice. A lot of very radical people. We watched some videos on meat production and animal testing and I think I can truthfully say now that i'm a vegan.
I've been eating vegan food now for like a week and this isn't as bad as I figured it would be. And in the states there is a lot of vegan foods to choose from, so I've been able to try yummy things like toffuti cuties, soy yogurt, teriyaki fake jerky, etc etc...It's all really good. Except for the texturized vegetable protein flakes....I dunno, maybe THAT is an acquired taste or something.
I know I've been promising letters to a lot of people and truthfully I haven't written very many letters yet. I plan to do most of my writing on my days off, and the reasoning for that is because i'm working 40 hours a week and during the week I'm really tired when I get home from work: I usually have time to shower, do chores, and a couple hours to chill before I drag myself to bed. So Im not TRYING to ignore anyone, I'm really just trying to stay awake...But don't worry, I WILL be doing lots of writing this weekend.
Today i saw how to drain a chicken. luckily I'll never be having to do that but one of the girls working in the animal hospital let me watch her do it, and it was REALLY DISGUSTING. A lot of the chickens get a build-up of crud in their systems: Things like egg yolk, fluids, pus, blood, etc etc...And it all becomes like a big bubble that can't be assimilated back into their bodies. Healthy chickens would prolly be able to do so, but these ones are sickly from the abusive situations they came from. Anyhow the girl popped the bubble with a needle and let the fluids drain out....This chicken had A CUP of fluid!!! It was SO GROSS!
Anyhow my lunch break is over now, I've got some more cleaning to be doing for like, four hours. Ciao!
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[31 May 2003|07:34am] |
Hey guys! This is my probable last entry for the next two months. I don't have much time to write this though cuz I've got a lot of stuff to do.
Well what can I say. I'm glad to be moving on again. These three days in port colborne with my family have been HELL. HELL HELL HELL. I'd sooner live at the RAFT then stay here again. Ever since I got home I don't think my dad has said one civil thing to me.
Well wait, lemme think....He yelled at me for an hour to move my things out of the garage and that it had to be done by today [I didn't get around to moving anything because frankly I have nowhere to store my things....] and he yelled at me for...
Oh i can't finish this sentance, he's yelling at me to get off the computer. You see what I mean. "Kay, move this." "Kay, move that." "Kay, go get my pants from upstairs" "Kay, go outside right now and get blah blah blah" [even though it's raining and I havent had time to put clothes on yet.]
Anyhow, wish me luck guys. ya'll have my address so you better write me.
Btw, Jakobo, you'll have to write me first cuz Andrew took the computer and closed my windows so I didn't get your address. And chuck and sonja, I didn't get your addresses, so write me damnit, and be sure to have a return addy listed.
Ciao!
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[02 May 2003|02:50pm] |
I came to St Catharines to better myself as a person. To make my life better.
I came here because I didn't like the way things were heading for me and I knew I had the power to change it myself.
Now I'll be leaving St Catharines for the same reason.
I've made a few friends here and I love the people I know here. But things are changing. I can see myself becoming a true drain on society. And this isn't what I want to be. I need to go away this summer because I need a new challenge. I have to proove to myself that I can live vegan for two months, that I can share a house with six people for two months, that I can work full time doing hard work for two months, and that I can stay off drugs for two months. Those are my goals, those are the things I am setting out to do. I have to leave St Catharines because that's what I have to do.
Things are changing here. Hanging out with my friends used to be a matter of what restraunt to walk to, what park to hang out at, what movie to watch, what music to sing. Now it's who is buying, who is dealing, how much can we buy, what do we have to sell to afford it....Drugs, that is. I've become a chronic stoner. My nickname here? Iron Lung. I can take the biggest hits and hold them in the longest cuz I don't smoke cigarettes, just pot.
It does things to my head. Makes me fly. Makes me lazy. I don't think I need to feel that all the time anymore.
I'm not leaving St Catharines to abandon my friends. I'll come back. And I'll hang out with everyone again. But I have to proove to myself that I'm the one controlling my life.
I'm leaving because it's a decision I'm making. I'm doing this to better myself. I expect to keep in touch with everyone through postal mail though. And I'm gonna have a going-away party before I take off. More details on that later, you're all invited.
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[12 Apr 2003|10:33am] |
If I ever die in a car accident, get them to play "Understanding in a Car Crash" by Thursday at my funeral.
Yes, I'm dwelling.
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[12 Apr 2003|08:15am] |
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So yeah, I'm awake bright and early today. I've been waking up at this time all week for one reason or another and now I am doing this automatically.
That's scary.
For lack of anything better to say, I'm gonna fill out a survey. I like this one I just yoinked from someone because it's very open ended and one can be creative.
But having just awoke, I'm not promising creativity.
I AM NOT: Fully awake yet
I WAS: Sleeping, an hour ago.
I WAS NEVER: Able to dance very well.
I WILL BE: Getting stoned tonight
I WILL: Watch the Neverending Story
I WILL NOT: Be eating rice or noodles today.
I LIKE: This music I have on.
I LOVE: My mommy
I DISLIKE: The fact that people make my apartment a mess
I HATE: Car accidents
I WANT: A falafel pita and some tabbouli salad.
I NEED: Probably some water and a crouton
I DONT WANT: This zit on my face.
I DONT NEED: The roomate to preach at me
I SHOULDN'T: Sing "The War of 1812" around any Americans.
I'D LIKE TO HAVE: Se....se.....se......Senet, the ancient egyptian board game! [betchya thought i'd be saying SEX!]
I'D LIKE TO OWN: My nintendo. I miss it
I LISTEN: To conversations people have in airports.
I EAT: Vagitarian style :D
I DRINK: Fruity drinks like peach juice
I SMOKE: The ganja
I DRESS: Myself! Weeeee!
I LAUGH: At kid's cartoons
I DRIVE: Never
I CRY: When I hear the song "Understanding in a Car Crash" by Thursday
I YELL: When I snap.
I DREAM: Of flying, cemetaries, and food.
I FEEL: Painful in my girlparts.
I MAKE: A great casserole, if I do say so myself. Even if I'm the only one who'll eat them.
I SAY: "Indeed" entirely too much
I WISH I COULD: Dance
I WISH I WAS: The proud owner of Super Mario episodes on tape.
I WISH I WASN'T: So accident prone
I WISH I KNEW: How to cook vegan food that actually tasted like food
I AM HAPPY: With friends, pot, and lollipops. Or even just with friends
I AM LONELY: Without friends
I AM SAD: When I DO have friends that come over, but they eat all my food, make a big mess, and leave
I AM MAD: Damn right I get mad
...I think I'll add one more to this....
I POKE: badgers with spoons. Yeehaw!
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[10 Mar 2003|09:42pm] |
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*glee* I had a fun weekend.
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[07 Mar 2003|01:36pm] |
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I decided to get in shape.
For the past few days, I've been working out for about half an hour a day. I thought that was an attainable and reasonable goal.
I had bought two tapes; one is called Yoga For Weightloss and the other is called Boot Camp.
I tried to start with the Boot Camp tape but it was a lot of high intensity cardio.
So I decided to start out with low intensity cardio.
Richard Simmons, to be precise.
I dunno if I should congratulate myself for excersising for thirty minutes or for putting up with Richard Simmons' singing for thirty minutes.
Richard Simmons singing "My Boyfriend's Back" = disturbing.
But something is rather gleeful about the workout. For one thing, it is impossible to feel self conscious when the people on the workout tape are ten times larger and all wearing bright, tight, neon spandex outfits.
And the other thing is, and I dunno whether this is caused by excersize making my brain release endorphins into my bloodstream, or whether it's the complete and absolutely absurdity of me alone in my livingroom, in my pajamas, doing the monkey while Richard Simmons sings along on screen with an Elvis impersonator with a mullet.
whatever it is though, i frequently have to stop to laugh. And laughing is good.
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