[ |
mood |
| |
sleepy |
] |
Hi. I just joined this group. I'm 44 (45 next month), and I have Multiple Sclerosis. I was dx'd in January 1998. I'm on Avonex, which I inject once a week, and host of meds for various symptoms. So the main thing that is a problem every minute I'm awake (which are fewer and fewer) is severe fatigue. I'm an English professor, and I reduced my hours to half-time this year, but I'm finding that I'm still exhausted all the time, and every thing I do is a struggle. So I made the decision to retire on disability at the end of this school year. It was a very hard decision. First of all, I got promoted to Full Professor two years ago, and I had expected to be Professor for a couple of decades! Well, that's not the main thing. The main thing is that "professor" is such a huge part of my identify, I enjoy teaching, and I enjoy talking with my colleagues and students. It's just that most of the time, I feel totally awful and exhausted. I was having my weekly shrinkage session, and I said to my shrink, "I just want to know that it's OK" (meaning retiring), and he said, "I think it's not just ok; I think it's *necessary*."
One of the things people have told me over the past year or so is that I'm a "fighter." And each time, I end up going off somewhere and crying because I don't *want* to be a fighter. It's just not who I am. I'm more of a plodder--the tortoise rather than the hare. So I have my one and only academic book coming out next month, but it took me 10 years to write. But even plodding has become too much. So I recently sent an email to my friends among my colleagues explaining that I was leaving and why, and I got such nice responses back, I had a total Sally Field moment. :-)
I have two kids, a 16 year old daughter and a 13 year old son, and I hardly ever see them b/c I'm asleep so much. I'm hoping that not working will allow me to schedule my naps so I spend *some* time with the kids. I also have a lovely partner, and we have three cats and a chihuahua.
OK, enough about me. My query was that I tried to join QueerLadies and when I pressed "Submit" I got a "Server Error" message. Is there another way to request to join the list?
|