| View: | User Info. |
| View: | Friends. |
| View: | Calendar. |
| View: | Memories. |
| You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries. | |
|
|
LiveJournal for Agent Orange.
|
||||||||||
| Monday, January 5th, 2004 |
|
||||||
| In September of 2003 I was hired to work at a restaurant that shall remain nameless because it is a franchise and they are the kind of people that would sue for slander so that they could finally leave their drab fate of middle management. I have worked for many different retail jobs in the past as I am not a college graduate and my family has no kind of clout in this sick, sad world. For some reason, however it seemed like this place would be different. This dump offered things that I didn't even know existed in the chain cafe business; a fun and fancy free working environment, competant management, long term benefits and to top it all off I was getting paid. Less that three weeks after opening things started to go awry. The stock manager apparently, was physically incapable of keeping us supplied with enough food and equipment to satisfy the appetites of Mr. and Mrs. John Q Consumer as he was to busy cheating on his wife and two children with a nineteen year old girl who worked the register, this was about a month and a half ago and as it happens I found out. He took me into the office and closed the door one day and said "I don't know what you've been hearing about me and 'Abigail', but the truth is were just really tight" and to quote another co-worker whom I told this to, "Maybe he meant SHE'S really tight" all the signs of infidelity were there, she would be in the office when he was the only management there, late night during closing on her day off. Hell, they would fuck in his van IN THE PARKING LOT! Employees would follow them and watch these random acts of primo humping take place. One person actually had it confirmed straight from the horse's mouth because he knocked on the window and waved and with nothing else to say the asshole told him outright in the guise of male gloating (a word to the wise, never gloat to a thirtysomething cafe employee who works full time as a Philosophy professor) who in turn told me and several people at the bar one night. Found in the back of his minivan, where his wife and children go out for ice cream and soccer games. The training manager was one of the most insulting and crude people I have had the displeasure of working for, and last and certainly least is the general manager. Several rumors were floating around the restaurant the first week about him (a lot of rumors float around a place when the base employees are all cute young girls) about how at one point he was institutionalized, something I didn't believe at the time but now I couldn't see how they set him loose. Within the first two days he had acosted a friend of mine, the same girl who provided me with the gem "she's really tight" quote, who worked there as well by asking her to come to one of the local office supply stores to pick up...well, office supplies, and they didn't rerturn for two hours. What had happened, was he parked in a parking lot somewhere and suggestively came on to her, scaring the pants off of the poor girl who was at the time and still is going through hoops lined with shit in her personal and financial life. There was also wide spread circulation that he had stolen money from a previous job in order to take girls out to wine and dine them. What kind of sick recycling of human filth is going on here? I dare all of you to answer that question. About a month and a half into my employment, my vindictive side kicked in and the veil was lifted from my eyes as to the shenanigans afoot. I finally realized that these people thought we were all stupid and naturally, I decided to let everyone else know this. It started as a casual "Jesus Christ we don't get paid enough for this kind of shit." and it escalated into heated arguments behind closed doors. On the day I walked out never to return I had found out that I was going to be fired after the Christmas holiday because, and I quote "We really can't see him working out in any other areas of the company" which, when it comes down to brass tacks means "He's onto us" After I found this out it was apparent that I needed to walk out in the middle of my job during the lunch rush. So I did, and it was good. As I was leaving I flashed the GM the most twisted grin I could muster and out I went to enjoy the rest of my day off. | ||||||
|
|
| Tuesday, December 23rd, 2003 |
|
||||||||
| hello everyone, i just left my job for reasons of moral objectiveness(sleaziness, general emotional theivery and the like.) and i am planning on moving to either beverly, mass. or tempe arizona in the coming months. do i have any votes for either one? (beverly is in the lead) things are going...odd. i turned 22 on october 27th and now begins the rest of my life and year after year of uneventful birthdays. i really haven't had much time to even check my mail let alone check my journal, so if everyone can give me the jist of what's happening in a written summary and leave it on my desk, i will get to it shortly. | ||||||||
|
|
| Wednesday, April 9th, 2003 |
|
||||
| i'm still here, don't have much time, do you have something to share with us all Amazing Larry?!?!?!?! | ||||
|
|
| Tuesday, January 28th, 2003 |
|
||||
| i'm 21, it's a new year and the alcohol is keeping me preserved so don't worry i'm still alive | ||||
|
|
| Sunday, September 29th, 2002 |
|
||||
|
|
||||
|
|
| Friday, September 27th, 2002 |
|
||||
|
hello, I know i have been pretty anti-social as of late, things are going on and i'm not going to be making any posts for a while. tommorow will be my last post for a while. I'm not going to have internet access for a considerable amount of time. this is going to suck. i'll have to rely on using friends internet and such. i'll see you all eventually, i'm sorry for wasting your time for so long. -Josh |
||||
|
|
| Friday, September 20th, 2002 |
|
||||||||
| I've quit the temp job i've had for the past four weeks because it's been making me sicker than i already am. i apologize for the lack of entries but i've been extremely sick. last night i vomited four times in my sleep. i've been coughing for about a week solid. violently. i've spent at least fifty dollars on different medicines, both traditional(ibuprofen, cough syrup) and alternative (Wiccan tea purchased at occult store) to no avail. The job required that I inventory parts in a machine shop that haven't been touched in upwards of five years, for four weeks i've been breathing in black dust. black dust is the dust that gets on your hands that you need pumice cleaner to get out. if dust is just dead skin floating in the air, then that makes black dust just fucking gross. i don't have insurance and my immediate family is gone. the cable has been shut off. i'm moving to the neighboring town, it's in the country so that should be good. i've also switched to American Spirit brand cigarettes, no chemicals to make me want cigarettes. six packs of which were stolen from my car along with a copy of Resident Evil 3 for the Playstation, there goes fifty dollars right there. the past few weeks have been REALLY fucking bad... | ||||||||
|
|
| Sunday, September 8th, 2002 |
|
||||
| last night as i was driving back to my house from Denny's, i puked mucous all over myself...TWICE! it was fucking disgusting. i've been sick for two days. i think it's West Nile. | ||||
|
|
| Sunday, August 25th, 2002 |
|
||||
|
the house that i'm in right now will be the last house that is a home. things are different now. my family is breaking apart and i don't want to do anything about it to maintain happiness for other people. in my mind i think they deserve it for me being a pain in the ass for 21 years. i know that's not necessarily the case, but i'm not fond of myself at times. more frequently as of late. i wish i could be serious sometimes, like now i guess, more times than i actually am. i'm in the middle of a crisis and i'm handling it like a douchebag. i can't say anything to anyone because i'm afraid to hurt them. i keep running scans of my friends in my mind to see if there's one i can spill my guts to and i can't think of one. not that i don't trust them enough to, but i want someone to tell me what to do. what my options are. it's something i have to do. but i can't. it's like i'm incapable of knowing what to do with myself. i should know and i know i should know or at least be trying to think, but i can't. it's torture. i feel like i'm being tortured right now. |
||||
|
|
| Saturday, August 24th, 2002 |
|
||||
|
1. WHAT'S THE STORY BEHIND YOUR LJ USERNAME? It's part of the name of a Danzig album, Danzig 5: BlackAciDevil, coincidentally my most hated album of all time. 2. NAME FIVE OF YOUR FAVORITE PIG-OUT FOODS. 1. pasta 2. pre-packaged gas station food 3. sodas 4. pizza 5. Fla-Vor-Ice 4. NAME ALL MEMBERS OF THE BEATLES. john lennon paul mccartney Dick Butkus george harrison 5. WHAT'S THE LONGEST TIME YOU'VE STAYED OUT OF THE COUNTRY/WHERE? I went to Italy for a month. 6. ONE THING YOU'RE GRATEFUL FOR, TODAY. Danzig 7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HIGH SCHOOL MEMORY? skipping school to smoke pot in the civil war cemetary. 8. WHAT IS THE MOST INSANE THING YOU'VE DONE FOR/TO YOUR CRUSH THAT HE/SHE MIGHT NOT/MIGHT KNOW ABOUT? haha, i'm not even going to post that. 9. DESCRIBE YOUR DREAM WEDDING. not to sound like i'm totally ripping of chillinkittie! but Elvis, Las Vegas, but instead of a pink limo, a 1982 flying DeLorean. 10. WOULD YOU EVER JOIN TEMPTATION ISLAND? no 11. NAME THREE [3] TEACHERS YOU LIKED IN HIGH SCHOOL/ELEMENTARY. 1. Okun 2. Gowdy 3. Schuster...Australian for whore. 12. DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE QUOTE? WHAT IS IT? Gimme a bottle of anything...and a glazed donut...TO GO-David Lee Roth 13. MY FIRST HEARTBREAK HAPPENED WHEN I WAS... [CARE TO SHARE THE STORY?] last year. 14. THE SCHOOL PICTURE YOU BURIED IN YOUR BOTTOM DRAWER? all of my childhood pictures. 15. DO YOU HAVE ANY WEIRD PREFERENCES? WHAT ARE THEY? i don't like it when girls wear makeup or nailpolish 16. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX? i hate it when girls just try to be my friends when they know i like them and they don't try to talk to me about it they just let me keep looking like an ass until they're too good of friends so i'll occasionally be friends with someone and develpp a crush on them so i feel like shooting my face off. 17. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? [care to share why?] none in paticular 18. NAME ONE TV CHARACTER YOU'D MOST WANT TO BE. Indiana Jones 19. IF YOU WERE FAMOUS, AND WERE TO BE A GUEST ON A TALK SHOW, WHOSE SHOW WOULD YOU CHOOSE? WHY? I don't know, if i was on Maury he'd give me a paternity test then send me to boot camp. 20. GIVE YOURSELF A PORN STAR NAME. Vas Deferns 21. DO YOU HAVE ANY WEIRD SLEEPING HABITS? i need a fan, radio or air conditioner on while i sleep 22. WHAT DO YOU PLAN TO DO THIS SUMMER? summer's gone 23. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SONG RIGHT NOW? i don't know. 24. WRITE A LINE FROM ANY SONG. Got my pills 'gainst mosquito death, my buddy's breathing his dying breath, oh god pleeeease won't you help me make it through. 25. DO YOU KNOW AT LEAST ONE DISNEY SONG BY HEART? WHICH ONE? no, none 26. DESCRIBE YOUR DREAM HOUSE. a house i didn't have to pay for. 27. YOUR TYPICAL SLEEPWEAR: a t-shirt and pants 28. WHAT'S IN YOUR BAG? i have no bag. 29. WHAT'S IN YOUR WALLET? cards, money, numbers 30. HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU HAVE IN YOUR WALLET RIGHT NOW? 20 dollars 31. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PAIR OF SHOES? boots 32. IF YOU COULD'VE GONE TO YOUR SENIOR PROM IN A DIFFERENT OUTFIT, WHAT WOULD IT BE? never been. 33. HOW WAS YOUR SENIOR PROM? n/a 34. TELL US ABOUT ANY OF YOUR BIRTHDAYS. i once had a birthday party at pizza hut, the best gift i recieved was one of my party guests throwing up for ten minutes. 35. WOULD YOU RATHER BE A HOBBIT, AN ELF OR A DWARF? none 36. WHAT ARE THE FIRST FIVE THINGS YOU WOULD SPLURGE ON IF YOU WERE A BILLIONAIRE? 1. I'd hire Danzig to play at...somewhere. 2. I'd move. 3. I'd buy a new car. 4. tattoos 5. kill someone and buy my way out of prison. 37. WHAT IS YOUR DAILY BEFORE-GOING-TO-BED RITUAL? take out my contact lenses 38. WHAT IS THE WEIRDEST/FUNNIEST NICKNAME ANYONE HAS EVER CALLED YOU? i dont have any 39. NAME THREE [3] OF YOUR FAVORITE CARTOON CHARACTERS. 1. Beavis 2. Butthead 3. Ren 4. Stimpy 5. Homer Simpson |
||||
|
|
| Friday, August 23rd, 2002 |
|
||||
| Journal, I promise you this. the day that this girl talks to me. Aria Dies. | ||||
|
|
| Wednesday, August 21st, 2002 |
|
||||
|
cue orchestra overhead pan of audience cue Malaria:welcome back to the 138th Annual AciDevil Awards!!! AciDevil: Our next award goes to a groundbreaking peice of television programmi...nay...art. The hit television sitcom "Cheers" was in full effect with a handful of Boston's finest every thursday letting you in on their lives. To 65 billion people a week...it was a place where everybody knew your name. The time Norm got stuck in the picture window. When Sam attempted to date a former girlfriend AND her daughter at the same time. pause for laughter and who could forget when Woody ran for mayor? but one who stood out most prominently in our hearts and minds...is Cliff Claven. without further ado...UPN and I proudly present...Clif' The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher. The longest word in the English language, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanocon Hydroxydesoxycorticosterone and hydroxydeoxycorticosterones are the largest anagrams. Los Angeles's full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula." Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older. An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain. Ben and Jerry's send the waste from making ice cream to local pig farmers to use as feed. Pigs love the stuff, except for one flavor: Mint Oreo. Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer. The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds. Wilma Flintstone's maiden name was Wilma Slaghoopal, and Betty Rubble's maiden name was Betty Jean Mcbricker. A pregnant goldfish is called a twit. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321 The Ramses brand condom is named after the great pharaoh Ramses II who fathered over 168 children. If NASA sent birds into space they would soon die, they need gravity to swallow. Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors. A pig's orgasm lasts for 38 minutes. The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "Its A Wonderful Life". It was discovered on a space mission that a frog can throw up. The frog throws up it's stomach first, so the stomach is dangling out of it's mouth. Then the frog uses it's forearms to dig out all of the stomach's contents and then swallows the stomach back down again. Armored knights raised their visors to identify themselves when they rode past their king. This custom has become the modern military salute. Sylvia Miles had the shortest performance ever nominated for an Oscar with "Midnight Cowboy." Her entire role lasted only six minutes. Charles Lindbergh took only four sandwiches with him on his famous transatlantic flight. Goethe couldn't stand the sound of barking dogs and could only write if he had an apple rotting in the drawer of his desk. If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes. The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb. 101 Dalmatians and Peter Pan (Wendy) are the only two Disney cartoon features with both parents that are present and don't die throughout the movie. 'Stewardesses' is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand on the QWERTY keyboard. The Baby Ruth candy bar was actually named after Grover Cleveland's baby daughter, Ruth. A whale's penis is called a dork. Armadillos have four babies at a time and they are always all the same sex. Armadillos are the only animal besides humans that can get leprosy. To escape the grip of a crocodile's jaws, push your thumbs into its eyeballs -- it will let you go instantly. Reindeer like to eat bananas. A group of unicorns is called a blessing. Twelve or more cows are known as a "flink." A group of frogs is called an army. A group of rhinos is called a crash. A group of kangaroos is called a mob. A group of whales is called a pod. A group of geese is called a gaggle. A group of ravens is called a murder. A group of officers is called a mess. A group of larks is called an exaltation. A group of owls is called a parliament. Physicist Murray Gell-Mann named the sub-atomic particles known as quarks for a random line in James Joyce, "Three quarks for Muster Mark!" Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/18 of a calorie. The phrase "sleep tight" derives from the fact that early mattresses were filled with straw and held up with rope stretched across the bedframe. A tight sleep was a comfortable sleep. "Three dog night" (attributed to Australian Aborigines) came about because on especially cold nights these nomadic people needed three dogs (dingos, actually) to keep from freezing. Gilligan of Gilligan's Island had a first name that was only used once, on the never-aired pilot show. His first name was Willy. The skipper's real name on Gilligan's Island is Jonas Grumby. It was mentioned once in the first episode on their radio's newscast about the wreck. In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak. Playing cards were issued to British pilots in WWII. If captured, they could be soaked in water and unfolded to reveal a map for escape. Ivory bar soap floating was a mistake. They had been over-mixing the soap formula causing excess air bubbles that made it float. Customers wrote and told how much they loved that it floated, and it has floated ever since. Studies show that if a cat falls off the seventh floor of a building it has about thirty percent less chance of surviving than a cat that falls off the twentieth floor. It supposedly takes about eight floors for the cat to realize what is occurring, relax and correct itself. Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks otherwise it will digest itself. The Sanskrit word for "war" means "desire for more cows." |
||||
|
|
| Tuesday, August 20th, 2002 |
|
||||
| i'm sorry i just needed to get attention. i'm not sure if the pope sucks dick or not. i need to find a creative outlet to let people know the disturbing role of the media that has reared it's ugly head gradually over time. but to do it i will need to use the media against itself. so i have to figure out a way to let enough people know without actually selling out or becoming a martyr. Look at pop music, is it just nullifying teenage girl's minds? this kind of thing can't be stood for. teenage girls looking for something they can never have, a rich rockstar husband the will remain faithful who sings those love songs just to her. not happening my friends. what about the growing surgence of pop-punk? an mtv fueled excursion to make the once anti-mainstream and dangerous punk music scene tolerable for broadcast. something that was never meant to be in the hands of Mr and Mrs John Q Taxpayer and their 2.3 children. it's saying listen to blink 182 and be a mall punk and it's ok to buy label clothes. reality television, "look at the real but un-real lives of people you will never fully understand, we've got Ozzy now, but he doesn't know it." WE'RE JUST LAUGHING AT OZZY!!! SOMEONE SAVE OZZY FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!!! Avril Lavigne is a fake punk chick sent to make all fake mall punk chicks happy, I'm not a Kittie fan but they're at least loud and aggresive don't get me wrong ten minutes in a room with L7 and they'll have no spot on their bodies that doesn't bleed, but it's a start. Someone needs to do something. weakness is seeping into people's minds through things that they trusted for years like tv and music. tv. of all things not the medium that brought us the Wonder Years and Beavis and Butthead? no not tv. i'm afraid so. and music? whodathunkit? movies...i was a comic book geek up until this spring then all of a sudden it's the cool thing to like spiderman. i'll tell you if toby macguire weren't to busy fucking nichole kidman no one would be any wiser to it. Goddammit. who wants to help me? | ||||
|
|
|
||||
| ...What if Jackson Browne's roadies just wanted to get the fuck out of there? | ||||
|
|
| Monday, August 19th, 2002 |
|
||||
|
the cabin was infested with everything imaginable. it was right next to the most scenic part of a lake, (i'll post pictures one day soon) we drew a face on a styrofoam cup and named him Cup-O one of the bedrooms overlooked a small space to the bathroom RIGHT INTO THE SHOWER! quotes: "I should go dump some shower water onto the bunkbeds, Bong and my brother would just jump off of each other." -justin "I'd eat the corn out of her shit"-Kwiat talking about the I've fallen and i can't get up woman about five hours after eating a pot brownine. "Dave you're gayer than Johnny Storm of the Fantastic Four, you don't even need to say Flame On!" |
||||
|
|
| Saturday, August 17th, 2002 |
|
||||||
| i feel like shit. i've never hated girls so much as i do right now. | ||||||
|
|
|
||||||
| I was haning out with a girl today. I thought maybe what higher power there is would give me a fucking break for once. but whatever. i went to her house and watched some of that movie "Tombstone", then we went and got some coffee and then back to my house and we watched Pulp Fiction for a while, then went to my room to smoke a cigarette. i flirted like a bastard. and i thought i was fuckin' slick, but i guess not otherwise i wouldn't have even posted anything. we did things that i thought would end with at least a fucking kiss, at the very fucking least. she took off her shirt and was just in a bra just playing around and she put on my button up spiderman shirt and i buttoned it for her, when i got to the top i pushed her chin up with my hand and tied a tie around the collar like a fuckin' professional. after that we listened to some music and talked and laughed and she started taking off the shirt and tie and was moving around like a stripper. she was teasing an already sexualy frustrated person and she knew it, that fucking cunt knew it. I am officially pissed off! | ||||||
|
|
|
||||||
| I was haning out with a girl today. I thought that perhaps something might happen with this. sadly though...you know the story. i went to her house and watched some of a movie, then we went and got some coffee and then back to my house and we watched Pulp Fiction for a while, then went to my room to smoke a cigarette. i flirted like it was going out of style and i thought i was wicked slick, but i guess not huh? otherwise this would be a happy entry. we did things that i thought were certain to end with at least a kiss, at least. she took off her shirt just playing around and she put on my button up spiderman shirt and i buttoned it for her, when i got to the top i pushed her chin up with my hand and tied a tie around the collar like a fuckin' pro. after that we listened to some music and talked and laughed there was some other stuff but i'm too much of a gentleman to say what. I am officially depressed. | ||||||
|
|
| Thursday, August 15th, 2002 |
|
||||
| excersice your right to change the national anthem from "The Star Spangled Banner" to "something by Alice in Chains" AciDevil for President in 2004 You know you want to. | ||||
|
|
|
||||
| i just downloaded that song from when squidward fuckin' made that marching band and they played the halftime show and it was all power ballad. | ||||
|
|
|
|
LiveJournal for Agent Orange.
|
||||||||||
distressed.