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Monday, January 7th, 2002
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1:18 am
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Name: Katy to most........another nickname that shall go unsaid to one person.~growls~Damn male.
Birthday: August 12th
Sex: Tonight is not your night - tomorrow night isn't looking very good either.
Location: Texas!
What does your livejournal name mean: It's short for Katy-Roo. Which is Katy-Kangaroo.
1. [spell your name backwards]: nyrhtak atina yesmar
2. [describe yourself in three words]: I've no idea.
3. [who is your worst enemy?]: Right now - the evil Harry Potter fanatics. Back! BACK you foul things!
4. [if you could have any animal for a pet, what would it be?]: another tortie siamese cat.
5. [have you ever used a spork?]: Lots!
6. [do you even know what a spork is?]: The question is - do YOU know what a spork is?
7. [what is the latest you've ever stayed up?]: I'm never down!
8. [ever been to Belgium?]: My second home. Hopefully my first someday.
9. [what's your favorite coin?]: The ones that get me money.
10. [wallet]: Not at the moment - but I have my eye on this lovely black wallet with green flames on it - complete with chain.
11. [brush]: white one is the one I use mostly.
12. [toothbrush]: Green and white!
13. [pillow cover]: green with black trees and moose and white snowflakes. Gotta love flannel cuteness.
14. [blanket]: The one my grandmother made me when I was about 4 and the hosue burned down.
15. [coffee cup]: At the moment a blue one with white snowflakes that Jessie got me.
16. [sunglasses]: none.
17. [underwear]: Really cute ones that say "No!" in black and "Yes!" in glow in the dark. Heh heh heh.
18. [shoes]: None! Barefoot!
19. [handbag]: Handbag? Me? You gotta be kidding......
20. [favorite top]: Either the one I got from the Concert d'Incubus, or my new white Weezer shirt that says in big silver letters on the back( complete w/ the Weezer Rock seal) "If it's too loud, turn it down."
21. [favorite pants]: My old school extra large flares that almost cover my whole feetsies and are super soft. Yay.
22. [cologne]: Mmm, curve for women, CloudBlush, or Lucky You for Men. Yum yum.
23. [CD in stereo right now]: Incubus - S.C.I.E.N.C.E.
24. [tattoos]: None.
25. [piercings]: Normal ears and one cartilage.
26. [current music]: The sound of my CD player finally starting - ah, now it's Redefine.
27. [wearing]:Another pair of not-so-big flares and my gray long sleeve shirt with the stripes across the chest that I've had for forever and a day.
28. [hair]: Wet and put up. Showers are lovely things.
29. [makeup]: When I wear something besides my normal Vanilla Frosting lip gloss - foundation (which I don't need actually - I've got a really good peaches'n cream color going on right now. It's more like to hide the scars. Yes scares. You have 16 stitches in your face and see if you don't get a few scars, even if you can't really see, 'em........), powder, little eyeshadow, mascara.
30. [in my mouth]: my lip.
31. [in my head]: Story ideas, memories of certain significant others being here that I haven't seen in almost 3 months.
32. [hearing]: (Anti-Gravity Love Song) - Summer Romance....by Incubus.
33. [wishing]: That the Boy would get his booty down here again.
34. [after this]: bed!
35. [talking to]: Jinxer-dear.
36. [eating]: Ice.
7 things you are afraid of:
1. Not having Scott.
2. Letting people get close to me.
3. heights.
4. Failing.
5. Letting people see my poetry.
6. Critism.
7. Never getting over my fear of marriage/children/sex/really long-term relationships.
Seven things that make you laugh:
1. My friends.
2. People who things they're the stuff when they're just assholes.
3. People who think terrorism will be solved with the death of Osama bin Laden. Yeah, kill the guy as many times over as you want, but that's not gonna solve the problem people.
4. Monty Python
5. Conversations born of boredom
6. The little looks The Boy gives me when I say/do totally random things he isn't expecting.
7. Most everything
Seven things you love:
1. My friends.
2. Feeling loved/special.
3. The smell of new books.
4. Random e-mails from Boy just to tell me.........~blushes~Yeah.
5. Putting my ideas down.
6. Having my writings approved of - poetry and otherwise.
7. Music.
Things that make you cry:
1. Sorrow/depression.
2. Love.
3. People turning out to be the total opposite of what you thought they were - I.E. when your so-called friends turn into the flakes they really are.
4. People I care about crying.
5. Missing someone -sooo- much!
6. Stress.
7. Exhaustion.
Seven things you don't understand:
1. Males! Damn Dirty Confusing Buggers!
2. People who can't take VERY obvious hints.
3. Why people think killing Osama bin Laden will end terrorism - it's very annoying, bugger it.
4. Hate.
5. Lack of morality.
6. Hypocrites.
7. Over-Achievers.
Seven facts about you:
1. I'm extremly empathetic.
2. I love with my heart and my soul - every fiber of my being.
3. I love to help.
4. I hate to be helpless.
5. I can't hide my emotions.
6. I can't acknowledge that people besides family love me without being terrified to the point of tears and wanting nothing to do with that person.
7. I'd rather never love then to have love and lost.
Seven things you plan to do before you die:
1. Get over my fears of love/long term commitment.
2. Graduate college.
3. Decide a master.
4. Find Mr. Right if I haven't already. Damn male - you're SUPPOSE to argue with me and pick fights and be all testosterone-ish and make me scowl and be grumpy and call you a male pig asshole. Geez, this whole getting along thing is freaky.
5. Get over my stage fright.
6. Make a name for myself in something.
7. Live where it snows a lot.
Seven things you can do:
1. Love.
2. Write.
3. Sing.
4. Make people laugh.
5. Dance.
6. Hate.
7. Hold a grudge.
Seven Things You Can't Do:
1. Not hold a grudge.
2. Stay inactive for long periods of time.
3. Not blush.
4. Accept that things have happened in the past.
5. Forgive well.
6. Not see/talk to the people I care about.
7. Be anyone but myself.
Top7 songs people should give a listen -
1. Make Yourself - Incubus.
2. Butterfly - Weezer.
3. Waiting - Green Day.
4. By Myself - Linkin Park.
5. Eyes on Me - Final Fantasy 8 Soundtrack.
6. Mourning - Tantric
7. Redefine - Incubus.
Top 7 things that turn you on about your sex of choice -
1. Voice.
2. Personality.
3. Build.
4. Humor.
5. Happy Trails......Oh, come on, happy trails are sexy on a guy!
6. Sense of Self.
7. Intelligence.
Top 7 things you say the most -
1. "oh shut up already!"
2. ".....what'd joo say?"
3. "Spiffy!"
4. "Hah, good one - not."
5. "jeez, eh!"
6. "ewwwww."
7. "Damn"
For each letter, write the first thing that comes to mind -
a - always
b - boxers!
c - crap...
d - doob
e - El Scorcho!
f - Fungus Amongus
g - Good God
h - hola
i - Incubus!
j - Jesus
k - kawality
l - Lupe!
m - Make Yourself
n - "no, you still can't."
o - Oopsie.
p - Peace.
q - q-tip
r - Ragnarok.
s - S.C.I.E.N.C.E.
t - Tantric!
u - Utopia
v - Vitametavegimen.
w - Weezer.
x - Final Fantasy X
y - you'll see.
z - Zippo.
current mood:  sleepy
current music: Mexico - Incubus.
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| Wednesday, November 14th, 2001
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5:44 pm - Just to make you all smile at my dorkness......
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Right. Last night, sitting at the edge of the couch. dad puts his shoes right next to the couch for some random act to do, I guess......I go to get up and step where I always do - right where his shoes are - and manage to sprain my ankle. I'm such a dork.......
Now you laugh and go, 'Oh my God, what a dork!' =)
current mood:  dorky
current music: the music they play when Edea comes around in FF VIII
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| Saturday, November 10th, 2001
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9:16 pm - I hate to do this again, but I gotta....
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Mmmmm. Upper respitory infections - fun fun! I'm better, but still not completely over it, so eh. My best friend and her boyfriend just broke up on tuesday - after 2 years. And HE did it......by writing her a note. I could kill him. And some of the reasons he gave her.....pft. I could doubly kill him. I'm not gonna go into details 'cause if I do I'm gonna get pissed off and start crying again. (Robin and I did this all day friday - she'd start crying and then I'd start crying 'cause she was. All during lunch and then for 2 hours on the phone). Let's just say he's a male asshole and deserves to have his crotch blown off.
And I think I went a little crazy last night. I was watching Incubus - The Morning View Sessions on MTV and I just started crying. And I know why - last time I saw Scott one month ago as of the 11th - at the Incubus concert which explains why I as soon as I heard the first few bars of "Drive" I started sobbing. Guh. Males. I feel another night of Robin and I sitting in my living room watching Johnny Depp and Heath L. movies again while eating choclate chip cookie dough ice cream.
current mood:  grumpy
current music: Lifehouse - Hanging By a Moment
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| Sunday, November 4th, 2001
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8:43 pm - Er....ignore that last entry, if it showed up just 'blach'
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Okay, so that wasn't spiffy. I'm sickly. =( And that's doubly not good 'cause there was a volleyball tourney at my HS yesterday and I kinda sorta ended up working conession for the Junior class. Whoopsie.....
I'm exhausted on top of it - I spent the entire day in bed and I'm just blah. But on the good side ~dryly~I've talked to my boyfriend an entire 45 minutes in the last week or so. This is not not not a good thing and I've been brought up with the whole "if I guy wants to talk to you, he'll call you." So I keep picking up the phone and dialing half the number and then clicking off. Blah. Bad Katy. And I'm about to write. ~cackles insaney~You know, I really don't think it's right for a person to be allowed to write things when they're deprived of their significant other, ill, and suppose to be doing Chemistry and Algebra II homework. Bwahahaha.
And I've decided some things:
1. I'm going to go to The University of Texas in Arlington - they have awesome english and writing departments and it's about an hour and half away from my family and my hometown. :)
2. University of Texas in Dallas is a bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad school. I was told if I went there I would be disowned because it's too close to my boyfriend. And the writing and english departments suck so eh. Don't go anyways - it's in Dallas and....yeah. Dallas isn't good either. :)
3. 22 and 1/2 year old siblings still living at home and doing absolutely nothing should be shot in the crotch (if male) and be buggered with a hedgehog.
4. Both my parents are going through a mid-life crisis.
5. Long distance relationships really really really really really suck.
6. Having 10 brothers because they're such good friends of your sibling and being sick is doubly bad.
~insert pause of 45 minutes for beating of said other-siblings~
Other than that.....life is peachy. I'm taking two classes over the summer for dual credit since I don't have to take the TASP test so I'll have 3 classes my senior year. Varsity Mixed Choir, English IV, and World History (yes, this is the sophomore class, but since I took French II isnted of it, I have to take it as a senior).
And just an interesting tid-bit of the day -
I sound like Froggy from The Little Rascals. :)
current mood: lethargic
current music: For once not Weezer or Incubus. System of a Down - Chop Suey
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| Friday, October 19th, 2001
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11:55 pm - Guh
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Yaaaaaaaaaaawn. Very tired Katy. Mmmm. I have a ticket stub on my wall. It's all alone and very amusing to see - Incubus. Loved the concert. I walk in, w/ the sibling, go the restroom, so I ditch him, come back, sit down and he asks, "Hey, is that Scott leaning against the rail?" "Where?" "Right in front of us." "where?" "right there!" "Oh! yeah...." wooness. And just so we get this straight - Brandon Boyd. Numero Uno on my list of most gorgeous famous men. People shouldn't be allowed to look that good. Ahem. Yeah. Erp. Ignoring my obsession w/ the nice singer-boy.
Today makes it 3 months. Guh. 3 months and I've seen him 3 times.....on the 19th of August, on the one month anniversary, on the 29th of September, the day after his 20th b-day, and on October 11th, at the concert he gave his tickets up for to be closer to me. Sigh. This long distance thing is kicking my bum....grrrr.......
Mucho luck to all of you college people with your mid-terms and the likes, by the by.
Mmm. Random Sarah giving me a Nickelback cd. the state. Good band. good cd. Gooooooood musics.
Have a choir thing in the morning. Need sleep. Think I have the flu. Guh.
current mood: sleepy
current music: Nickelback - Breathe
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| Tuesday, October 16th, 2001
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9:13 pm
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1. What is your full name?: Kathryn Anita Ramsey
2. Ruff Ryders or Flip Mod Squad?: Ruff Ryders! Don't give me that look, they have Eve....she's got pink hair! come on!
3. When was the last time you had sex?: Not within in the past 16 years, 2 months, and.....3 days. :)
4. What color underwear (or boxers) do you have on right now?: White ones that say "yes" in glow in the dark and "no" in black. =P
5. What song are you listening to now?: Heh heh. The new Incubus - I Wish You Were Here
6. What was the last thing that you did?: chewed on my bottom lip while I read this question
7. What is right next to you?: the phone
8. What is your computer desk made of? Wood
9. Who was the last person you went to the mall with?: Uhh......... my older brother.
11. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?: Forest green.
12. Where do you want to go on your honeymoon?: Uhhh......honeymoons mean weddings.....weddings = one terrified Katy.
13. Who do you want to spend the rest of your life with?: Yet another way to scare Katy off....
14. Do you have a lava lamp?: Heh heh. yuppies.
15. How many buddies do you have on your MSN/aim list?: I just cut it down to the people I actually talk to.~beams~ 52
16. How's the weather right now?: Cold and windy.
17. Have you ever smoked a Cigarette? Nope.
18.Who was the last person you talked to on thephone? Erp......I think it was Scott, or Nikki.
19. Are you a commie-nazi? Nope!
20. Favorite drink? Cherry Vanilia Dr. Pepper. Yum yum.
21.Who do you most admire?: er.......good question.
22. Do you like the person that sent this to you?: Yup yup.
25. How do you eat an Oreo? inside first, then you dunk the chocolate parts in milk and make them all soft and yum and munch of those.
26. Favorite M&M;: Peanut!
29. Dream date?: Bwaha. I've had my dream date already......chilling at home, in your room, and just talking the entire day w/ no tv, no stereo.
32. (lost 30 and 31) Hair Color: Brown tinted red.~grins~
33. Eye color?: Depends. They kinda change colors at times....when I wear red, green, when I wear any other color, brown-green, when I wear black - pale brown. Any other time - pale brown.
34. Height?: -I- say I'm 5 foot 7. -Scott- says he's 5 foot 9 and I'm just as tall as him.....so I'll go with 5 foot 8. =)
35. Do you wear contacts?: Nope nope.
36. Siblings and their ages?: Ewww........Mike, 22 (only blood sibling). Aaron - 25, Russell - 20. Jose - 21. Robin - 16. Ingrid - 17. Fiora - 22. Nick - 17. Lupe - 16. To name a few.......
37. What school do you attend?: Mineral Wells High School (yeah....go rams....and stuff)
38. Who do you consider to be your best/closestfriends: Scott, Robin, Fio, Ingrid, Nick, Lupe.
40. What was the best advice ever given to you: "Live, love, and get naked." =) does this mean I take the advice? No.
42. Have you ever won any special awards?: A few. =)
43. What do you want to be when you grow up?: An author. or an egologist. Or a psychologist. Or a musician.
45. Any future goals? Move out of Mineral Wells.
46. Favorite food?: Chinese! Moo Goo Gai Pan!
48. favorite movies? Erp! Ummmmm........Don't make me pick.~whimpers~
49. Favorite day of the year?: The 19th of every month. Specifically, of July.
50. Favorite month?: November.
51. Favorite girls perfume?: Curve for women. yum yum.
52. Favorite guys cologne: Whatever it is Scott wears. ~shrugs~I'm female, don't expect me to keep up with guys stuff. Or maybe Abercrombie and Fitch....yum. (Hate the store, love the cologne....)
53. Do you like to dance? Yup yup.
54. Fast or slow? Either or!
55. Are you too shy to ask someone out? Depends on my mood.
57. If you could change your name what would it be? Umm....I wouldn't.
58. Worst sickness that you have ever had? Uppery Respritory Infection in Jr. High. I was out of athletics for 2 weeks and didn't get to start a game because of it. and I was more or less caughing blood.....
59.Do you sleep naked?: Um.....no. In boxer pants, boxers, and a t-shirt. Or just a very big t-shirt.
60. Have you ever been in love? Am right now.
61. What is the stupidest thing you've ever done? Would you like the short list, of what -I- think is stupid, or the long list of what everyone -tells- me is stupid?
62 What will your first son's name be?: ~uneasy laughter~
63. Daughter? See above.
64.Do you like happy or scary movies?: both.
65.the phone or in person?: Person! Person person person!
68. Night or day?: Night.
69. Summer or winter?: Winter - it's the snuggly season.
70. Lust or Love?: Love.
71. Kisses or hugs?: Both - I lean more towards kisses and snuggles, if you want to be technical.......
72.If you could change one thing? Where I live!
73. Do you consider cheerleading a sport?: Umm...run around and yell in little skirts with little tops.....no.
74. Favorite songs?: HAH! Waaaaaaaay too many.
75. Have you ever had an online romance?: You tell me - I met my boyfriend via the net, and that's the main we get to communicate considering we live an hour and a half away from each other.
76. What did you think of this survey?: It's a survery and I'm filling it out instead of doing Algebra. heh.
77. Do you want your friends to write back?: If they feel the urge.
78. Who is least likely to respond?: Casper
79. Who is most likely to respond?: Casper.
80. What was the best gift you ever received?: Erp......
current mood: grumpy
current music: I Wish You Were Here - Incubus
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| Monday, October 8th, 2001
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11:01 pm - Whooooooooaaaaaaa
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Ooookaaaaaaaay, dusting off the LJ now.....ahem. Short updates, and then quick upcoming stuff.
The 29th of September - saw the boyfriend. You know, long distance relationships REALLY REALLY REALLY bite.....but it's okay, 'cause he's him and I talk to him everyday.
5th of October - have no school. 3 day weekend. woo.
8th of October - EXTREMLY over emotional right now. Come home, find out one of my FAV bands Incubus still has tickets avaliable. They sold out the Bronco Bowl, and Startickets put out another 250 tickets. Freak out. Go to Fort Worth, spend 2 hours looking for a Startickets outlet, find one - Katy is sitting in UP - GA seats 805 and 806. Oh yeah. Nosebleed section, but come on, it's Incubus - it doesn't matter where you sit as long as you get to be there, dammit.
9th of Ocotober - Choir concert at school. Guh. I'll give you details and opinions on this later....whaaaaaa.
10th of October - INCUBUS CONCERT!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The boyfriend will be there too.~grins and bounces~Seeing the boyfriend on a week day.....that's absolutely insane (And it is when you leave 1.5 hours to 2 hours apart, ones in college and the other is in high school).
11th of October - Will NOT be going to school. ~grins~
current mood:  drunk
current music: Take a wild guess.....
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| Monday, September 17th, 2001
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8:29 pm - Update, finally
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Let me see.....
I can't say I really have a lot to say about the WTC and the Pentagon.....I've talked, and talked, and talked, and talked with everyone around here about it and the only thing that happens anymore when I talk about it is people start mentioning drafts and I start freaking out. I've got a 22 year old bro, and an almost-20 year old boyfriend. Nuh-uh, no drafts, nope, not gonna even accept the thought at the moment. Other than that.....I just really have nothing to say that hasn't been said 200 times over.
Made plans to see the boyfriend this weekend - my ride couldn't get off work though, dammit, so....we're gonna go this sunday. :)
Got choir contest this saturday. ~shudders~And I just got over being sick so I've kinda lost over a week of practice time.....ug.
Ah yes....knew there was something good to put up here - wednesday the 19th is my 2 month anniversary with my boy.
Ah! Found out that one of my best guy-friends ever, Lupe, tried to kill himself this weekend. That's not a damn good thing at all. So I spent most of sixth period in Mrs. Mears office with him in there crying. He said it was a rumor and that he was just really depressed when Mrs. Mears was in there, then he asked her to leave so he could talk to me alone and confessed. He's better now, and he knows I'm gonna kick his ass if he ever pulls that crap again. And he talked to our good buddy Nick - so of course he feels better now. Nick always does that - to both of us. And he thinks it's the end of the world.~sighs~I'm saying it's because he's Catholic - no offense to anyone who is and that's not the deal, but the boy is to level headed to believe it's the end of the world because of the WTC and stuff unless it's because of religion.
More later, as it developes.
current mood:  blah
current music: The Warmth - Incubus
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| Sunday, August 12th, 2001
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6:20 pm - Woo-hoo
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Happy sweet sixteen to me. ~grins~ And thank you to the earlier responding to yesterdays post.
Mmm, I now have all 3 Weezer albums. Woo-hoo! Now we're gonna start on Incubus.......
My sibling is threatening me with birthday spankings - aie. And I didn't get any last year - so the toll is up to 31, plus 2 to grow on. Owwwww....must hide.
current mood:  naughty
current music: The World Has Turned - Weezer - The Blue Album
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| Saturday, August 11th, 2001
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8:51 pm - Blah blah blah
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Tomorrow is the sweet 16. So far I've already gotten
1 package from Ingrid - I know I got The Vor Game.
3 cds from the rents - Incubus - Make Yourself, Staind - Break the Cycle, and Weezer - Pinkerton.
? from my brother - I was told "don't go in my room" over and over today. and he took my cds earlier, but then I got them back and there were no additions......guh.
Not really looking forward to it either. Having to make plans to do something on monday or tuesday. Not a lot to say. Yeah, Scott's car gets fixed the day AFTER my b-day. So very very wrong -you're suppose to see your boyfriend on your birthday, eh? Ah well.....I've been told "I'm going to make this up to you."
Must listen to musics.....
current mood:  loved
current music: I'm Tired of Having Sex - Weezer
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| Sunday, August 5th, 2001
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7:00 pm - Guh
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Sooooo exhausted. Nikki comes over one day, spends the night, leaves the next, day after that she calls and I go to the lake with she and her family, spend the night at her house. Next day I rest, then the following(being day before yesterday), dad and mom finally make up - I do NOT want to be in the house for THAT so I spend the night at Nikki's again, then yesterday I go shopping.
While shopping at the mall, I caught at least 5-8 males staring where as soon as they stopped I scowled darkly, stared at them and growled, "Think ya got a good enough look?" or "Think you were lookin' hard enough there yo?"
And some guy hung out of a truck window later that day when we stopped to get something to drink on the way home...... grrrr. That just makes me feel disgusting - it's one thing to look, it's a totally different thing to oggle.
I feel a night of male bashing coming up.......
current mood:  dirty
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| Thursday, August 2nd, 2001
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8:03 pm - Ramblings
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Today is my and Scott's 2 week mark. There, my personal cheering thought of the day. Other than that things pretty much bite at this moment.
Mmmm, had a dream I told Kaleb to bugger himself when he said He, Dondi (his girlfriend), Scott and I should go on a double date. Very tempting to thought to call him and tell him to bugger himself anyway. Hmmmm......nah. I think I'll just wait, talk Scott into it, and he'll just automatically look puffed up and intimidating - he kinda doesn't like Kaleb already and he hasn't even met him. =) No idea where he got such a bad opinion of him, really.
And my parents could be getting a divorce. That's never a good thing, no, and I might be the only reason they've stayed together for the last 19 years. So mom wants to get a job after going back to school and she asked me what I thought about it earlier and I told her, "I don't want to talk about it." (And I said that because ever since I got out of school everday either my mom cries or I cry and there's tons of talking going on and I'm just sick and freaking tired of talking and crying and talking and crying.)
So, mom goes nuts and starts this, "Nobody in this house wants to try to talk about things and try to make things better. I'm just so tired of it I was I could just disintigrate right here." And things of those likes....and there was yelling lots of calling my brother, father and I "mother f***ers" and the likes. There was even a screaming of, "I don't f***ing care anymore"
I leave with a quote from the song currently in my head:
"....I'm sorry I've, had a bad day again."
current mood:  worried
current music: (Once again....) Bad Day - Fuel
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| Saturday, July 21st, 2001
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1:58 pm
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July 19th - 2 in the morning-ish - Make being a couple with my crush official. Get no sleep.
July 19th - 5 in the afternoon - Bring very sick cat home from vet. Has to be under careful observation.
July 20th - get no sleep night before from A) late night conversations and B) worry about the cat.
July 21st - wake up, deal with mom making the very sick cat say not-nice things in cat speak. Go to vet, put cat that I named and have had since I was about 6 to sleep.
My cat Fritty - the gorgeous siamese everyone fell in love with upon sight of her.
current mood: numb
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| Friday, July 13th, 2001
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9:31 pm - Ramblings
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Heh, I realized yesterday that in exactly one month I'm going to be 16 and 3 days after that, I'll be a junior in high school. Guh. Not ready to go back to school, not at all.
current mood:  thoughtful
current music: Bad Day - Fuel
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| Tuesday, July 10th, 2001
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7:21 pm - Hrmm.....
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Rall says:
Wow...
Katy says:
depressing?
Rall says:
Rather
This is a convo between Alex and I when I showed him the latest thing that I've written. Which has been male-induced.
I keep reading Em's entries and she talks about her fears of living in the apartments next year and about money and everything else and they actually make me sit back and think about the choices and decisions I'm making or I'm thinking about making because of the fact that I'm terrified of the future. It's like what Maddy said - I'm only going to be a junior next year and I'm terrified I'm not even going to get a scholarship. And my senior year....I'll be talking Pre-Advanced Placement Pre-Calculus and (I'm not sure about this...it could be Pre-Advanced Placement, or it's not, I don't remember) Physics - of course, I'm bouncing around going, "Woo-hoo!" around here, but really and truly.....I'm utterly terrified of my senior year.
And something is not right with me. For, oh....I guess a month now, anytime I eat anything, I get sick at my stomach. And it's like, "okay....this is not a good thing." So, there for a while, I was living off slim fast ~rolls her eyes~not something I want to repeat. And it's still like that! It's not as bad, I can actually take a drink of water and not have to lie down because my stomach is threatening to reject it. So earlier, mom and I had gotten food and we'd both finished and she asked how much I had eaten.
"Like, half my burger and just a few drinks of my coke."
"Katy....do I need to take you to the doctor and put you on anti-depressants?"
"WHAT?! NO!"
And she was thinking about putting me on anti-depressants the first couple of months school started. (This is because a LOT of things were happening with this guy Kaleb and then things happened with Erin (evil! evil evil evil girl-child!)Soo.....there's that.
And then a convo I had with a guy-friend of mine didn't really go well earlier, but eh. Oh well.
current mood: melancholy
current music: If I Could Be Like That - 3 Doors Down
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| Friday, July 6th, 2001
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6:57 pm - I totally forgot about this
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Hah! Looking through my blue leather-bound journal I write in sometimes.....found this poem.
I cared about you for so long it was hard to think that you were gone,
you left me all alone so suddenly, it was like I was being cast to sea.
I still don't think I know just what you did to me,
But guess if you ever read these words we'll have to see,
most people don't understand why I ever cared for you,
and hell,
I don't know if I should believe you ever cared for me too.
Yet theres one thing that I know is true:
a part of me is going to always be loving you.
Copyright Katy Ramsey - 2000
Heh. And really and truly - that poem is about an utter ass. ~shakes her head~Oy vey.....
current mood:  amused
current music: The Sweater Song - Weezer
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| Saturday, June 23rd, 2001
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7:44 pm - Katy doesn't think she likes this 'getting older' thing.......
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Well, it's official - in exactly 50 days I'll be 16. That's a very scary thought. And for the past week or so, anytime I've eaten anything, I've gotten sick at my stomach afterwards, so I've kind of been skimping on the whole food thing. That's not good, and I haven't talked to Dr. Hawkins about it, but I'm pretty sure I know what it is that's making me like this - nerves.
Not quite sixteen and I have problems with my stupid NERVES already - how wrong is that?!
But I guess it's to be expected.~sighing~My parents have been fighting since february. My cousin (who's only like a year and 3 months or so younger then me) keeps trying to kill herself. And she told me about it the first time, but she DIDN'T tell me about it all the other times and gah. She broke up with her boyfriend when she spent the night the other night, so we go over to his house because she was freaking out and when we come home we were sitting in the living room floor and she says, "I feel like doing something really stupid." And I said, "Like what?" she goes, "Like killing someone......" I raised my eyebrows and she finished, "Or myself." and told me about her taking a bunch of aspirin a couple of months ago and she showed me the scars on her arms from cutting herself. I ended up just sitting there and bawling while she just sort of stared off into space.
But I know why she keeps hurting herself. That's a start I guess. I mean, her mom is addicted to pain killer, her grandmother is living in the same house and she's just slowly getting worse and worse and basically she's having to watch her "Gerny" die over a period of time. And her second-oldest brother Michael molested her when we were both really little. Her parents don't claim him anymore and all that stuff. And one of our cousins, Chance, well....he's the thug out of my family, and she was hanging around him a lot there for a while and she says she was raped by one of his friends when he was passed out on the bed - thing is, her Aunt Robbie was there, so if she would have been yelling and as much as she goes around acting like she's a little bad-ass, that could have been avoided, so it's kind of an "to believe her, or not to believe her" sort of thing.
And so all of this makes her freak out and I understand that, I mean - my mom's addicted to valium at the moment, and she was addicted to speed for the first 4 years of my life. I know where she's coming from there, but I mean - taking your own life because of everything that's happened in the past isn't going to do anything btu 'cause people grief, and she can't seem to get that through her thick skull.
Ahem, yes, anyway Katy, stop ranting about Nikki.
Ah yes! I think for the first time, I'm not all emotional and stuff over a guy. That's how it's been since I met Kaleb - I've gotten horribly emotional and depressed and all that junk over him and then there have been my infatuations that I've had soo..... eh. And the current infatuation I have now is very muchly talking to me about stuff that I can't talk to a lot of my friends about, because we just don't agree on it - so he's very much keeping me sane at the moment and he's not being an idiot male and making me think that all males are the same.
And I'm babbling. I guess that's what happens when you feel like your insides are shaking 24 hours a day and you haven't eaten since 11 this morning and it's 8 now.
But there's a good thing to all this, and after I type it, I'll shut up already. I might be getting a job at The Lake Store here at Mineral Wells Lake State Park and Trailway. I've wanted to work there since I was a little kid and I talked to the owner today and he was saying that if not this summer, for sure next summer, so all is good in THAT area at least.
current mood: moody
current music: Clint Eastwood - Gorillaz (techno hip-hop...gotta love it)
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| Thursday, June 7th, 2001
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12:08 am - Ponderings
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Ahem.
A few weeks ago when I got layers in my hair my mum and I realized on the way back home that my hair is a....very definate red tint to it. As in, from looking in the mirror that's on the little blinder-thingie, my hair looked cherry blossom pink, mum says that sitting next to me it looked -RED-.
So, I've decided something.......what it is, I shall write on my next update which will be in a few days. Eh heh heh heh.
current mood:  determined
current music: I Love You (a ballad by my brother - can't get out of brain
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| Saturday, June 2nd, 2001
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11:40 pm - Hmph
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Hmmm, I want you guys to give me your opinion on my male problem, please? Stupid jack-holes.....~grumbles~
Right. Problem Katy.
Well, I met him like a month or two ago and so we talk and everything, but it's normally only over IM because we don't live in the same town and he's 19 and not in school anymore and so on and so forth. But, he's one of those people that's natural just sweet to people, and when he says "hi" It's not "hey Katy" it's "Hey babe" and then it's followed by "how's it goin' sweetie?" so I'm "babe" "sweetie" and the sometimes "sweetheart." And he comes to me with his girl problems now, also. But, thing is, I'm totally nuts for the guy and sometimes the things he says makes it seem like we don't have a strictly friendly oriented relationship. And last time we talked we got to talking about sports and I said something about not playing baseball because I can't throw and then he went into messing with me about "giving me lessons" and he thinks it would be cute to watch me and blah blah blah.
And no, he doesn't know that I like him. I'm afraid to tell him and ruin the whole friendship thing and I'm afraid he's going to think that I only like him because he's in a semi-popular band and actually tours around the state and such. And he's told me he thinks I'm funny, and I've got a great personality and I'm intelligent and I'm cute....I think I shall beat him over the head.
So, what do you guys think about it?
current mood:  confused
current music: Simple Pages - Weezer - The Green Album
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| Thursday, May 31st, 2001
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9:28 pm
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Weezer - Hashpipe - The Green Album
i can't help my feelings
i'll go out of my mind
this bets come to get me
cuz they packed behind
i'll tear up my business
if i can't get a trick
down on santa monica
where tricks are for kids
oh come on and kick me
oh come on and kick me
come on and kick me
you got your problems
i got my ass wipe
you got your big G's
i got my hashpipe
i can't help my bookies
they get out of control
i know that you don't care
but i want you to know
the least likely flavour
is a favourite treat
oh man I don't bother
with the taste of a teat
oh come on and kick me
oh come on and kick me
come on and kick me
you got your problems
i got my ass wipe
you got your big G's
i got my hashpipe
i got my hashpipe
oh come on and kick me
oh come on and kick me
come on and kick me
you got your problems
i got my ass wipe
you got your big G's
i got my hashpipe
i got my hashpipe
got my hashpipe
got my hashpipe
Gotta love Weezer.~sighs happily~Gotta love 'em.....
Ahem, besides my fetish for weird bands that nobody else likes - I'm out of school! I'm officially a Junior! WOO-HOO! And today during first block most of the classes had most of the time to do whatever - so my class and one of the freshman classes got together so we could take a "feild trip" to the lunchroom. Heh. Anyway, some of the guys from the freshman class had their guitars, (And yes, Kaleb, or Satan, or The Thing, or whatever I've had you call him was one of the guys, bugger) and I got to "perform" for the classes.~dances happily~I sang "The Outside" and "It's Been a While" by Staind and a couple of the guys played. I was floating around for the rest of the day. Ahhh.....so happy.
current mood: dorky
current music: An Island In the Sun - Weezer - The Green Album
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