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LiveJournal for jessi.
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| Wednesday, January 2nd, 2002 |
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| i have anouther lj i use now. its theexploitedgrl...im outta here | ||||
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| Friday, December 14th, 2001 |
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| Ive decided that killin myselfs the wrong way out. Im not goin to do it. I have better things in life to worry about. Im just a complete idiot. | ||||
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| Tuesday, December 11th, 2001 |
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| I carved myself with a razorblade, now i think its infected. I dont care anymore. im fuckin depressed again. i wish i had the courage to kill myself but i dont. I know thats what everyone wants me to do. Maybe i should and make the world a better place. | ||||||
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| Monday, November 19th, 2001 |
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well im goin out with a skinhead now. I dont care what people think of that. i dont like racism, i dont get it but i respect him cause its his own point of view. hes so nice to me. Hes got a great personality. sarahs goin out with eric. im glad for her. she and eric make a cute couple! dude i got fuckin drunk the other night over at erics house. damn it was great drinkin. i havent drank in so long. erics moms wicked cool. eric and his friends are too. Im glad i slept over at his house with the others. It was great to get out of my home for once. |
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| Friday, November 9th, 2001 |
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| Fuck life, fuck the world, fuck punk rock, fuck emos, fuck my family, fuck friends, and FUCK YOU!!! stupid motherfuckers | ||
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| Wednesday, November 7th, 2001 |
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I went to see Scuzz and damien this morning. This time i didnt break down. I guess im getting better. Im accepting the fact they are gone. My psychologist told me im doin alot better. Which is good. I also hung out with Diana this week and we talked about college...cause im goin to be goin soon...woohooo...Blah. Im goin to call Patrick up to see if i can help him with the organization hes workin on. hes a real sweetheart. hes really been a great friend to me for along time. i appreciate it. Hes the closest one ive had for along time. hes more caring then anyone i know along with Sarah, keri, nikki, eric Diana, and Mark. |
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| Monday, October 29th, 2001 |
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| Sometime in the future...Sarah, Mark, Greg and i are goin to do a band together! I cant wait!hehe Sarahs goin to be playing the guitar, me on bass, mark singing, and gregs goin to be the drummer. Its so fuckin cool. I guess despite everythin thats happened lately im gettin better at things | ||||
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| Man im fuckin in a wreck right now...I miss Saja so much...i cant believe how many of my friends have died the past 6 months. Its sick! I fuckin wish things werent like that. But they are and theres nothin you can do to stop them. Im grounded cause of what happened this past weekend. Great..more time with my stupid grandparents..lucky me. I cant wait...yeah right...this sucks..I wanna fuckin get outta here...i hope that i can move in with Shacora in Worcster it'd be great. also im hopin that i can be in the band soon. | ||||||
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| Wednesday, October 24th, 2001 |
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1. Name one person you regret dating/liking: Ummm i have to say i regret liking Steve. 2. Name one person you can do without in your life: Ummm i have to say Jeff. 3. Name one person of the same sex that you would kiss if you were unattached: ummmm i dunno 4. Name one celebrity star that you find hot: Michael Goorjian! 5. Name one LJer that you find hot: ummm i have to say Behtzie. shes so cute! 6. Name one city that you find most appealing: Ummm fitchburg LOL....no not really..i like San Fransico 7. Favorite piece of jewelry: Scuzz's necklace and ring, and damiens dogtags 8. Favorite piece of clothing:ummm my afi tee and my bondage pants 10. Favorite person to be with: Sarah, patrick, Mark and Greg 11. What's one regret that you have in life? being suicidal before 12. Name one part of your body that you dislike most: ummm my lips. they are fuckin big 13. Name one part of your body that you love most: ummm i dunno i guess my eyes 14. What' s one thing you would like to do before you die? Ummm see my brothers graves 15. What's one thing you enjoy doing during your free time: music, bass, guitar, drawing, writing, and hangin out with friends 16. Who is one person you'd like to meet (celebrity or not): ummm i wanna see Greg again! 17. What is one thing that you like to own someday? ummmm i just want to get out on my own and be happy with what i have 18. What is one goal that you'd like to achieve? ummm to stop doin a certain drug.. 19. What's your most favorite memory?: too many to name 20. What's one memory that you would like to erase?: ummm the bad memories of certain people 1 minute ago: i got a slice of pizza for breakfast 1 hour ago: i woke up 1 day ago:i went to bass lessons and i learned how to play a song in less hten 30 mins 1 week ago: ummm i went to a punk show 1 month ago: never thought id make it through 1 year ago: not sure 1 lifetime ago:ummm dunno 5 minutes ago: cried cause of sajas death 5 hours ago: sleeping 5 days ago: i went to the mall with sarah then slept over 5 weeks ago: BLAH 5 months ago: ummm i was suicidal and depressed 5 years ago: Dont remember |
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current mood: pissed and angry current music: the exploited- Sex and violence! I love the exploited! They are fuckn awesome! current taste: chocolate current hair: my mohawk is down and crusty from the glue and hairspray ive used. im washing my hair tonight. current dress: ummm a pair of sk8er pants, a afi tee current grievance: sajas death..i dont think i can handle this alone but im goin to have to. current annoyance: ummm im not goin to name anyone..but they know who they are current smell: i smell pot for some reason..i think i found my friends secret stash he put in my frickin house current longing: black coffee..my coffeemakers not workin again! current game: ummm none at the moment current thing I ought to be doing: ummm callin friends to do somethin current windows open: aim, aol, lj current desktop picture: ummm i have a tattoo design on my desktop current favourite artist: ummm i dont have a fave artist current favourite group: ha! the Exploited baby! current books: Girl interrupted last read: Skeleton Crew-Stephen King current read: i dont have one at the moment current cds in stereo: the exploited, anti-flag, Rancid, operation ivy,distillers,afi and dead kennedys current colour of toenails: black current refreshment: none cause my stupid coffeemakers not workin current worry: ummm everythin current crush: ummm hehe greg,MArk and Patrick current favourite celeb: ummm dunno current time wasting wish: a thing of black coffee fuckin damn it! current hate: ummm, havin no coffee,certain people and emo kids |
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I AM 77% GOTH.
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| Tuesday, October 23rd, 2001 |
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| OH my God!!!!!! I passed my GED! Im goin to be goin to college in January! Im so happy. I didnt think that i'd pass this thing cause the math was alittle hard for me. But i did it! now i have to figure out what im goin to do for college courses. I hope to be able to go to little Rock with Patrick this weekend and hang out with him and the others. If not im goin to do somethin with Mark and sarah.i dunno yet | ||||||||
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| http://www.animalliberation.net/library/factsheets.html | ||
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Well i had a real busy day today. this morning i got up and went to Sajas funeral...that was really hard for me to go to.. but i made it through it. I cried my eyes out..Im suprised how well i took this. Im real sad cause of whats happened the past few months. Im suprised i havent cracked. I feel like im about to break down in tears and ruin my recovery from what happened to me back in July. I think i'll be ok though. Well last night as bass lessons i learned how to play Sex and violence by the exploited. It took me less then 30 minutes to play. I know it by heart now. I love bass. You can do so much more with it! I am beginning to like it more then guitar. Maybe thats weird of me..I dont know. But im happy. I have to contact Patrick this week sometime. hes needs help with a campain hes workin on bout animal rights, im willin to help him. Patricks a really cool person. Im so glad that we're talkin again! |
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| Monday, October 22nd, 2001 |
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| Well tomorrow im goin to sajas funeral. Im so upset. I wanna cry..but ive been cryin the past few days. Saja was goin into a hospice cause she was dying of cancer...but since she didnt want to suffer anymore, she took 50 sleeping pills. i never got to see her to tell her goodbye! Oh my God. I never thought id miss her this much. Ive been loosing too many people the past 6 months. i hate it! why does it have to happen to me? Im tired, sad, cranky, upset, pissed off, and angry. I have mixed emotions right now, ive been through so much lately. I really cant take the shit happening. i really hope that people will just back off and not insult me or bother me right now. I will crack...not in the crying way, but i will knock peoples teeth down there throat. Yesterday i almost kicked a fuckin kids ass at the mall. he was pissing me off so much. But i decided he wasnt worth it. Also i saw patrick later that day and i was hangin out with sarah! shes wicked cool and sweet! MWAH i love ya sarah. | ||||||||
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AHHHHH Oh my GOD!!! i slept over at sarahs house Saturday and we went to the solomon pond mall. I got a few things at hot topic. Then we went to her house and watched acouple of movies and went online. I drew on her walls and she likes them :) Then yesterday we went back to the mall and hung out for awhile while we waited for the time to go to the thearter to see Dont say a word. its a fuckin great movie. I liked it alot. Then we went to eat at a resteraunt at the mall. i saw a kid paying at the cash register with a mohawk. he turned and i saw it was Patrick! I went over to him and we talked for awhile. i wa so happy to see him again. hes so nice. I love him to death. Today im goin to be goin to my bass lessons. i dont know what im goin to learn yet. I havent decided on somethin. I think im goin to learn a song from the exploited or AFI. I dunno yet. Yay tomorrow im goin to be hopefully getting my results back for my GED. i hope i did good. Im goin to see if i can get Greg, mark sarah and patrick to hang out this weekend. |
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YOU ARE 81% PUNK.
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| Thursday, October 18th, 2001 |
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1. There is no question 1 2.Your Full Name: jessica 3.Nicknames: jess, heroin bobbie 4.Age: 18 5.Longest Friend: Shacora 6.Funniest Friends: sarah,diana 7.Smartest Friend: ummm Kyle 8. Dumbest Friend: ummm thats hard...its either mike or Jon 9. Athletic Friend: dunno 10.Loudest Friend: ummm diana 11.Shyest friend: ummm dunno 12.Who Do u Get Advice From: everyone 13.Tell Your Secrets To: some people ******************ABOUT YOURSELF****************** 15.Height: 5'5 16.Sign: leo 17.Hair colour: blonde and pink. 18.Righty / Lefty: Righty 19.Eyes: dark brown/black 20.Shoe Size: 9 in guys 21.Shoe Brand: adidas and orisis 22.Do u Crack any Body Parts: Yes lots of them 23.If u do which parts: Fingers, Neck, Jaw and back 24.E-Mail: larsfrancidchick@aol.com 26.Girl Friend/Boyfriend: no one at the moment 27.Do u Like Anyone: yeah 28.Who??: fuck you! ******************Have u Ever****************** 29.Got In a Fight: Yes last night i did! i kicked a emo kids ass! 30.Liked a Teacher: fuck no! 31.Killed Some one: umm 1 32.Laughed So Hard You Peed in Your Pants: no 33.Sang in the rain: Nope 34.Walked into a glass Door: haha yeah plenty of times 35.Kicked The Wall: Yes alot 36.Been in Love: Yes 37.Ate Dirt: No 38.Gone Skinny Dipping: umm once 39.Asked someone out: Yes 40.Ran into a parked car: Yeah i was drunk *****************GURLS ON GUYS***************** if you are a guy, skip to the next section) 41.Boxers or Briefs:boxers 42.Tall or Short: tall 43.Long Hair or Short: it depends...if its a hawk or liberty spikes then long hairs ok 44.Dark or Light eyes: light 45.6 pack or muscular:hmmm doesnt matter really 46.Ear Pierced or Not: yea 47.Good Guy/Bad Guy:bad guy :) 48.Light Hair/Dark Hair:doesnt matter 49.Hat/No Hat:no hat ***************GUYS ON GURLZ************** 50.Panties or Thongs: 51.Tall or Short: 52.Long Hair or Short: 53.Light eyes or dark: 54.Light Hair/Dark Hair: 55.Body or Personality in opposite sex: 56.Ear Pierced or Not: 57.Curly or Straight hair: 58.Good Girl/Bad Girl: 59.Hair Up or Down: 60.Sporty or Classy: 61.Chicken or Not Afraid: ***************Which One is Better************** 62.Coke or Pepsi: Pepsi 63.Taco Bell or Mcdonalds: Taco Bell 64.Cats or Dogs: Dogs 65.Coffee or Tea: coffee-only if its black 66.Sour or Sweet: Sweet 67.chocolate milk or hot chocolate: hot chocolate 68.Dance or punk: PUNK! 69.Black or White: Black. 70.Top or Bottom: Bottom 71.Ice Hockey or Roller Hockey: Ice 72.Day or Night: Night 73.Lights On or Off: Off 74.Ocean or Pool: Pool 75.Winter or Fall: Fall 76.25 or 52: 25 77.Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera: niether...they both are fake 78.Backstreet Boys or N'SYNC: hmmm both bands with a bullet in the head 79.Pop music or Rock music: niether! ***************Your favorite***************** 80.Food: cheese 81.Actor: Michael Goorjian 82.Store: hot topic 83.Band: The Exploited! 84.Restaurant: ummm dunno 85.Singer: Davey Havok and greg graffin 86.Thing to Do: guitar and bass 87.Favorite number: 69. and 25 88.Album: the distillers 89:Amusement Park: umm duno 90.Animal: ummm dunno 91.Holiday: Halloween 92.Magazine:ummm AP 93.Band: dude you already asked this before 94.Song: distillers-the blackest years, the exploited-Psycho 95.Scent: Gasoline 96.Book: the portable henry rollins 97.T.V Show:umm i have to say i like watching Dark angel and pasadena and also the simpsons 98.Radio Station: i dont listen to it 99.Movie: Blade, return of the living dead, Dead Alive, rocky horror picture show, Slc punk, and the exorcist ****************In The Future**************** 100.Who's Gonna be by Your Side: umm i dunno 101.Where you Gonna Live: hmmm depends 103.Animal: huh?? Fuck yOU! **********Random Questions************** 104.Define Love: Love sucks 105.Whats your Wife/Husband Gonna be Like?: I dont know 106.What are u Wearing right NOW: black bondage pants, and a sleeveless shirt 107.What Does Your Screen Name stand For: ummm i dunno..i made it up 108.Where were you born: Florida....on a stupid airforce base 109.Favorite Place to be kissed: neck 110. Favourite day of the week?: Fridays 111. Who sent you this email?: Dunno 112. Hottest Star ever:ummmm dunno 113. Bedtime: ummm i dont sleep 114. HOTTEST PERSON YOU KNOW: Greg, mark and sarah :) 115. What do you think of this survey: it sux |
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| Wednesday, October 17th, 2001 |
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What the fuck!!!! I am in such a bad mood today. Im not feelin well either...i threw up today. that was so fun...yeah right. Well i did practice my bass this morning. I have the exploiteds Psycho, Maggie, and Punks not dead down. I neer thought that itd be that easy to play bass..that reminds me....i need to get new fuckin strings this weekend for my guitar. The strings that are on now are worn, and 2 are broken...i played the distillers LA girl and 2 strings broke...and punctured my arm..it hurt like a bitch. I bleed alittle too. But that happens i guess. Hmmmm i need afew new guitar picks too...mine are worn out from all the playing ive done. Well my grandparents want me to take off Damiens dogtags...im fuckin not goin to take them off...its really the only tangible thing left of him that i have. They both can fuck off and die...Im not goin to do what they want me to.... I cant take people who are like them...they piss me off so much. This afternoon i got into a fight with a stupid emo kid. He was tellin me that Punk sucked and shit...i got tired of him whining so i clocked him in the head. i hate fuckin emo kids...they suck...i also hate stupid people who call me a poser when they really are the ones who are the posers. Im goin to be taking the 2nd part of my GED tomorrow night. i cant wait...Ahhh i have to take Shacora to meet my friends i met at the MWCC. Ok im goin to go and watch a few movies with afew friends.. peace! Jess |
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LiveJournal for jessi.
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bitchy.
blank.
silly.
touched.
blah.
anxious.
angry.
excited.
sad.
happy.
awake.
pissed off.