Friday, June 27th, 2003
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1:08 pm - uh huh
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my journal gets smaller and smaller due to all the entries i delete. mad fun... i think i may delete it all together and go back to OD... i dunnae...
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Monday, May 5th, 2003
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3:02 pm - miss you .sara.
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driving around by myself so very late at night, screaming our songs at the top of my lungs to stay awake... yeh... remember when we'd lock ourselves up in our room and be rockstars, glue still sticking to our fingers from all the words we pasted to the walls... i miss you guys so much... and all the fun we used to have.
xo
.....
.....
.....
-geez... your uncles house is awesome!! what does he do for a living...?
-he's a drug dealer, maria.
-oh.
current mood:  nostalgic
current music: good things (cover) - the applicators
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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Thursday, May 1st, 2003
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1:30 pm - scratch this face you claim to miss
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i guess it just isnt good enough for you anymore...
be happy anyway, maria.
.smile.
current mood:  indescribable
current music: sunshine- screeching weasel
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(comment on this)
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Thursday, July 18th, 2002
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1:37 am - internet quizzes do not cure boredom.
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Tuesday, July 16th, 2002
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2:33 pm - what the holy hell....?
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last night.. around 2am.. i get up outta bed cause i just cant sleep and decide to come downstairs to watch trashy late night tv or fool around on the computer or something.
uh huh. after flipping through the channels i decided on tbs or tnt or whatever turner channel it was and watched the lost boys... after about 10 minutes, i got up and began to move towards the computer to check on our ebay auction for a rickenbacker we are selling. the minute i turned my back the tv and cable box shut off and turn back on to some stupid movie on lifetime. im thinking what the hell... even though this happens every once in a while. i pick up the remote and put on the lost boys and sit at the computer and open up the defragmenter thing and the tv and cable box shut off and that dumb lifetime movie is on the screen again. now i realize that even if theres a power surge the tv and cable box always get set back to channel 8-- its like the default comcast channel or something-- no matter what. lifetime is like channel 40 or so... i giggled out loud cuz now im getting weirded out. i decided to leave the tv where it was for a second, go back to the computer, run the defrag program and then i go to sit back down on the couch to wait for the thing to finish. i didnt put the lost boys back on cause i figured id end up scaring the hell out of myself if everything turned off again.... and i surfed through the channels trying to find something else to watch with no luck. i put the remote down and joking say "why dont YOU pick something to watch then" towards the middle of the room and the tv shuts off, but not teh cable box.. the cable box reads all 8's and then the screen lights back up with that pet psychic show on.. needless to say i went to bed after that. idunnae. the guitars in this house play by themselves, the tv shuts on and off... you hear voices yelling "whatareyoudoing" at random... siiiigh... maybe im working too hard.
current mood:  scared
current music: steelers wheel
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Monday, June 24th, 2002
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2:50 pm - colored glass
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my birthday was this past tuesday... so now im 22, and i STILL havent found any sort of meaning to my life... i did however get two new lamps and probably the ugliest pair of orange sparkly glittery underware anyone ever saw. ever since ive moved here ive been lacking in social contact-- i could always hang out with the kids i work with but they are more obsessed with fighting over who is going to the state store after work or "oh my gawd i cant believe those lesbians sat in Myyyy section than any intelligent conversation whatsoever. did i mention i work in a resturaunt who's main entree is a burger with batter dipped onions on it? ick. so this last weekend, ian and jean and i bought a bunch of sparklers and whistlers and amateur fireworks and lit up the night sky and scared the menonite people next door in the process. as silly and lame as the night was it was the most fun i had in weeks. :)
xo.
current mood:  amused
current music: killer tofu -- the beets
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Wednesday, May 8th, 2002
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10:21 pm - life and all its... things.
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its hard not to worry.. and i know im digging a hole for myself thats going to be too large to try to fill back in later...
but lately i seem to find comfort in the drama.
maybe im just going crazy.
i dunnæ.
current mood:  awake
current music: ian's dad snores like a bitch.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Thursday, April 25th, 2002
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1:14 pm - so very blue today
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my hands look like they are covered in some strange blue-green ink. i dotn kno what the hell is wrong with me... why my hands and feet are deciding they would rather be blue then their normal olive-y nastiness... but i guess its time to go to the doctor.
current mood:  blah
current music: AYNN (mp3.com/aynn)
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Thursday, January 10th, 2002
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9:20 pm - xx
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Thursday, October 18th, 2001
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11:50 am - cant think about it now...
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thank you for all the fun that we DO have together... i love you more than [insert word of great magnititude here]
without you i feel broken.
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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11:33 am - life has no edit button.
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i wake up feeling gloomy and sad and i kno deep down something terrible is going to happen this week...
and i dont think my dreams, dreams like this, have even failed me...
he will just roll his eyes and tell me not to worry and not to dwell on it...
but its not that easy... too many clues... too many hints.
sometimes all you can do is lay down and die.
current mood:  drained
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Wednesday, August 29th, 2001
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11:00 pm - ...
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a sickness like this must be purely psychological. thanks alot. i hate worrying about something i cant see.
current mood:  nauseated
current music: no. cant make me.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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10:40 pm - you aint it
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im typing with one hand.. i have a pinched nerve thats making my other arm feel like its on fire... i havent eaten anything but dry cereal since sunday. im feel terribly ill... but not because of my aches or the nauseous feeling in my stomach... i hate coming home to emptiness.
current mood: sick
current music: sleater-kinney
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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10:05 pm - echoing alone
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i dont need a reason... any possible excuse i could come up with would only result in a snort and tired look on your part.
current mood: sick
current music: london after midnight
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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2:09 am - ack ack
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okay now im all !@#$ and cant sleep... terrible terrible -- and i have to wake up early... gonna watch a movie til i fall asleep...
sleepaway camp will just have to do.
current mood:  calm
current music: i can hear the fan?
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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1:15 am - too early
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so i pulled the nine of swords AGAIN tonight--
that card comes up more in my personal spreads than any other...
but why is my reinforcing card the three of swords?
please dont do this to me...
[betrayal]
current mood: worried
current music: sleater-kinney
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(comment on this)
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Tuesday, August 14th, 2001
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1:19 am - tonight
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i feel like im just going to drive you away with my sadness and doubts and worries...
and i am, arent i?
how much more of me can you take.
current mood: worried
current music: just like heaven - the cure
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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Monday, August 13th, 2001
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10:00 pm - tonight
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i feel like im just going to drive you away with my sadness and doubts and worries...
and i am, arent i?
how much more of me can you take.
current mood: worried
current music: just like heaven - the cure
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(comment on this)
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6:32 pm - oh yeh, your use of adjectives was quite refreshing
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these walls are too thin.
new room, new smells, new things to get used to...
i didnt think there would be new worries, and new fears.
its hard to imagine someone who is willing to forgive you for all of your mistakes.
current mood:  sad
current music: angie - tori amos
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(comment on this)
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Saturday, August 11th, 2001
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2:36 pm - ...
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jesus, you are an idiot.
current mood:  confused
current music: myopic little me - miss july
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(comment on this)
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sleepy