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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
ladyhawk's LiveJournal:
| Wednesday, May 29th, 2002 | |
| 11:19 pm | The Poem I found this poem and wrote it in calligraphy in 1987. My mother found it a couple days ago and she gave it to me. I showed David, and he was very moved by it. He asked me to share it in LJ: It is important to me that I spend a part of the next few hours here alone with you in the darkness. You and I will never be this close again by morning you will be a tiny person all your own. No longer the kicking, demanding bulge in my body that I have grown to love so well. I pray that God will safely guide you on your journey and I ask him for the strength to help you all I can. Again you signal your impatience to be free time to wake your daddy. Many thanks for all the kind words when David announced the birth of our daughter. He's been very busy lately, but I know he'll answer everyone as soon as things become a bit less hectic. Current Mood:  content |
| Monday, November 12th, 2001 | |
| 3:00 pm | Sappy stuff! Thanks to Dido. Note to my husband: Push the door, I'm home at last and I'm soaking through and through then you handed me a towel and all I see is you and even if my house falls down now, I wouldn't have a clue because you're near me and I want to thank you for giving me the best days of my life Oh just to be with you is having the best days of my life |
| Saturday, September 29th, 2001 | |
| 8:37 am | Well... Well, if someone is going to be a daddy ... Talk about stealing my thunder!! Thanks for the warm thoughts, Mommy |
| Sunday, September 16th, 2001 | |
| 11:23 pm | Already Sunday? My boss and his wife took a few of us to brunch this morning. A place in Seal Beach called Spaghettini's. No, my boss never does this. Here's the story. This all came about because we have an insurance adjuster we need to keep happy, so she wanted to go there. And strongly suggested that Diane and I come along. It was a wonderful brunch. All sorts of rich cheeses, fresh grilled veggies, pastas of all kinds. Included is an entree on top of the buffet. I ordered crab benedict. Really good. They had the best desserts. Wow, that brunch was over three hours. We all had a wonderful time. Good people and fine conversation. Went to my Sunday evening meeting. Then stopped for some Nyquil. I have to include this, a memory. And, just now I had a strong reaction. One of my cats died earlier this week, she was sick. She got to hanging out in the bathroom. Went in there a little while ago. I keep expecting to see her. She had a very distinct meow. It was a drawl in meow. She loved to be stroked, even while she was sick, it always perked her up when I touched her. Such a happy cat. All of a sudden I'm missing her very much. Don't mean to depress anyone. I'm not going to stay in this mood! Going to concentrate on sleeping. Good night. |
| Friday, September 14th, 2001 | |
| 7:42 am | Just my feelings. There's just so much, I don't know where to begin. Just so everyone knows, this is not exactly the most positive entry. I'm sorry if I make anyone sad. As the days go on, the grief becomes worse for everyone. It just doesn't stop. I wish this could be over. It won't be for awhile, I fear. Everyone is effected one way or another. Hatred, depression, outrage, and the list goes on. I've turned on the news(after taking a long break from it). More footage now. Some of these shots - too much. Looks like a war site in another country. Amateur photos - just so graphic, too graphic. Some of these shots I never want to remember, I'm afraid their stiles in my mind. Managed to wake up every hour last night. I have a general sense of worry for us all. Oh, and the missing people! No, I don't think I want to talk about this. On the phone last night, someone said some very kind, encouraging words I wasn't expecting. Took me off guard. They struck me at a very vulnerable level ~ a very basic level. I started to cry, not sure why or what. I guess it was a release. I worry about her too. Current Mood: indescribable |
| Sunday, September 9th, 2001 | |
| 11:24 pm | Autumn is here I can definitely feel autumn in the air. It's been for the most part, a mild summer. Driving home tonight felt a little cooler than usual. Born and raise in Los Angeles, and vacationing in the summer, never really gave me opporutunity to experience seasons change . Los Angeles isn't like anywhere else in the world - seems as though the seasons meld together(ok, I'm hoping for a mild winter too). There was one trip, where I appreciated the diversity of the seasons. I guess everyone who is, let us say deprived from this visual harvast can re-count a memory. Never having been to a state where the seasons are offered for presentation on the foliage, I managed to drive from New Mexico into Colorado one September. It was the first time I ever saw a palate of changing color ~ such impact. I was at the Northern most end of New Mexico, just beginning to enter Colorado. I remember going through a pass, and when I emerged, there was the grandest view. A valley with acres upon acres of trees with harvest golds, followed by orange, deep mahogany reds and chestnut browns ~ with majestic mountains in the distance. As I passed through one state into another, I saw more waterfalls than I could count, magnificent trees, and an inspiring landscape. That's the first time I ever truly appreciated autumn and the aroma of the season. I will never forget it. |
| Friday, September 7th, 2001 | |
| 7:27 pm | Funny... These e-mail breaks during the day sure do make me laugh. :) Subject: Men Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with." --Kathleen Mifsud I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. --George Burns What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds. --Cindy Garner Current Mood: content |
| Thursday, September 6th, 2001 | |
| 5:20 am | So awake Can't sleep tonight, so I guess I'll vent. My days at the office ~ Regularly in the morning, I'll usually make a call to our bank to check the balance on the company's account. So, on Tuesday I made such a call. The teller gives me the balance. As far as I can tell, I'm about 5 to 10 K SHORT. OMG, what have I done?! Did I forget to enter something!!! How could I be so off. Employees need to get paid and the rent is due. After trying to look for the $$ (most of the day). I had to go in and tell my boss that I made an error, but I don't know where. Head held low, I did that. My boss has a very gentle demeanor. He also trusts me, so it was alright that way, but I don't forgive myself so easily. Today, I called the bank again. Balance is greater by 10K. She faxed over detail from the past few business days. Totals were again normal. What I could only guess is that the teller gave me the wrong balance on Tuesday. Off by 10 K. I was soooo pleased, to say the least. I spent the day reversing yesterday's accounting. And payroll was called in. Yea! In browsing through LJ just now, I encountered a picture that brought me to tears, just sobbed. Won't say why. Just want to remember how this feels. Or maybe I don't! So unfair. So tired now. Don't know if I should go back to sleep, I may not wake up in time. Suppose I'll try. |
| Tuesday, September 4th, 2001 | |
| 2:21 pm | Thought for the day Those who don't know how to weep with their whole hearts also don't know how to laugh -Golda Meir Current Mood: calm |
| Monday, September 3rd, 2001 | |
| 5:59 pm | What a day Trying to get things accomplished can get frustrating. I can't seem to find an item I need for the house. The stores are disappointing and there's not enough time, anybody else have this problem? I past Whittier Narrows today (large recreation park). It was full of picnic-ers.I remembered those days, wishing I knew some folks right now that were having such festivities. We have wonderfully large cumulous clouds in the area (haven't seen them this big since I was in New Mexico), they're so grand. Imagine if you will a soft breeze coming by and gently whisking part of them, just enough to form striations across the sky. My day is slipping away. Oh, do I really have to go to work tomorrow?!! :( Current Mood:  frustrated |
| Sunday, September 2nd, 2001 | |
| 12:37 pm | Joke of the day! A friend e-mailed this to me. Wind suggested that I should share - IT IS funny. A Fairy Tale for the Assertive Woman Once upon a time, In a land far away, A beautiful, independent, Self-assured princess, happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle. The frog hopped into the Princess' lap and said: "Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome Prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young Prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and setup housekeeping in yon castle, with my Mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so." That night, while dining on lightly sauteed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled to herself and thought: I don't freakin' think so. Current Mood:  silly |
| Wednesday, August 29th, 2001 | |
| 10:37 pm | Goodbye My neighbor just came by to essentially say goodbye. My neighbor who lives behind the main house has asked them to leave so he can occupy the front residence. I'm going to miss them, they're good people. I said we would keep in touch~ as best I can, I suppose. Sad. Current Mood:  sympathetic |
| Monday, August 20th, 2001 | |
| 9:19 pm | My life in a nutshell... Depeche Mode concert - awesome. Great experience, enjoyed it all. Boy, can we make noise. Weekend was meaningful. Only to ourselves. And I just got a phone call from old friend from my nursing period. Said I should volunteer at a diabetes function. He knows I haven't done nursing in five years. He doesn't see a problem with it. He's pushing me into it. If my schedule allows, I will be involved. P.S. Oh, yea. I'm in love. Just in case anyone wondered. |
| Friday, August 3rd, 2001 | |
| 6:55 am | Awake! Got up like a shot this morning. Usually I linger in bed and wait to wake up. Nope, straight to the computer this morning. Really wanted to enter a few cute stories about friends, not enough time though. I hate the way work interferes with life that way. |
| Thursday, August 2nd, 2001 | |
| 9:52 pm | Stressful What a day! Long and intense. I didn't make payroll today( I call in wages for my company). My boss waits till 4:55 to give me employee hours( just a hazard of the industry). Usually I can work it. Not today. Checks will NOT be delivered tomorrow. I will have to issue in- house checks for everyone. Can I just say OMG! He does this to me so often that it may screw up the company's IRS tracking with my check server. But that's my problem, I'm also the controller. At 5:15 I noticed a knot at the right side of my neck(wow that was fast).At least I had the funds to meet payroll. Took a drive to wind(sp)down. Ended up in Malibu, really love to see the ocean when I feel like this. I prayed for strength. And I believe I have peace. This is powerful for me. Wow. I feel and pray for those in a place that need guidance. Emotions are so very difficult to deal with at times, however, for some, it's just a part of growing up. No pressure because of it. |
| Friday, July 27th, 2001 | |
| 6:31 am | Thumbs up!!!! Really don't have time to write this - too many things to do this morning, but I want to remember the sentiment last night. Everyone liked him. One of my friends said, it seems like you have peace around him. He thinks the jury is still out with "my girl". I know the basics with her - bottom-line, she like him. Nice girl talk in the bathroom and outside. I really dig my friends. Something that was said along the way out. "Being the not so new member of this group, I've noticed that we all just want the others to be happy". The kindness is sometimes so overwhelming. I'm so blessed. David picked up the tab. My friend said something about that. It really wasn't a big deal, I think David thought it may have been. But this particular friend is so generous, he blushes when he does take. No biggie, that's just the way he is. Very good night. Current Mood: awake |
| Sunday, July 22nd, 2001 | |
| 9:07 am | Sorry, but this makes me giggle... Picture this: Bacon being lifted from cooking surface onto paper plate with paper towel on it. Oh, no wait, blow out the bacon before it catches plate on fire. Too late. Blow out plate. No, really, she did her absolute best with what we had to cook with. Kudos(sp)to the chef. I'm thinking about my diet, the last 36 hours I have had junk. Friday night - half a chicken burrito(Friday lunch left over), Dorritos, Corn nuts, peanuts. Saturday - eggs and pound cake, more Dorritos. I think it's time for some real food before my body rejects me! Current Mood:  amused |
| 2:29 am | My day.... Up late. A little anxious to sleep, but I'm really tired. Been camping today. Met some new friends. Good people. I felt so bad for Sue this morning. I could have cried for her when the bacon caught on fire. She had watched her Mom, but this was her first time cooking solo. It wasn't my place to help this time. I was really glad she was taking everything in stride. The eggs were good, they were made in a pie tin. Portable toilets really stink - no really. This campsite didn't have a fire pit. We were all pretty disappointed. I remember thinking, some of my friends would not appreciate this experience what so ever. I have to admit it takes some getting use to, haven't done this for some time. Played domino's last night, fun. Loser took a shot of Jack Daniels. Did this for every round. I lost twice. Did some sun bathing this morning, something I never do. There was a creek by our campsite. We placed our chairs in the water and did some reading and relaxing. My back is sunburned, not too bad, but I can feel it. Claudia gave me an update on her life. OMG, what a soap opera. My friend has been deeply wounded. Won't get into it, but I just want to express- I'm really appalled to know that someone took pleasure in purposefully deceiving her with an intent to hurt her and devastate her life. VERY ANGRY. Note to self: Really have to do something about misplacing, losing, forgetting important things. Current Mood:  tired |
| Thursday, July 19th, 2001 | |
| 6:23 pm | Celtic Zodiac Tree: Hawthorn Celtic Tree Alphabet: Uath Planet: Vulcan Gemstone: Topaz Flower: Wood Sorrel Archetypal Character: Govannan, the smith-god Characteristics: Hawthorn people are charismatic and full of new ideas. They are multitalented and adapt easily to change. They are akin to the Celtic Bards, and often excel in the performing arts. there is a great strength in Hawthorn people in that they know the weakness of their opposition. They are not ruthless people, but are clever strategists. Their sense of humor can be sharp and full of innuendo. They are attracted to the career of writing and journalism. They adapt to every situation life has to offer. Positive Aspects: They have a high level of spontaneity, and the ability to communicate on every level. They have a glowing self-confidence that can produce great leaders, and people who inspire others. Their sympathetic nature promotes good listeners and makes them honest and sincere friends. Negative Aspects: Verbally their anger can cut like a knife. If they feel threatened in any way they will devise schemes to thwart their enemies with insight in their enemies weaknesses Love Life: In respect to personal relationships, it is a question of keeping still long enough to forge a permanent relationship. They have a low boredom threshold. They have a vivacious quality that attracts people. They have a highly sensual nature and personal attractiveness. They are affectionate, but strict parents. Personal note: Strikes some truth - flattering. I don't know about being a clever strategist or if I'm able to thwart anything. Don't believe my words can cut like a knife (wouldn't like to be the cause of that wounded look on someone's face). Footnote:David,you tell me. You have probably been on the other end of that tongue. Oh, gee you know what I mean! Would not choose journalism for myself. Sensual and affecrionate - Yes. Current Mood: amused |
| Wednesday, July 18th, 2001 | |
| 7:54 pm | If I were.... if i were a stone, i would be... Lapis if i were a tree, i would be... Walnut if i were a bird, i would be...a Peregrine Falcon if i were an insect, i would be... a Ladybug if i were a machine, i would be... a Computer if i were a tool, i would be... a Chisel if i were a fruit, i would be... a Star Apple if i were a flower, i would be... a Lily if i were a kind of weather, i would be... Sunny if i were a mythical creature, i would be... a Unicorn if i were a musical instrument, i would be... a Violin if i were a kind of profession, i would be... a Musician if i were an animal, i would be... a Dolphin if i were anything in the world, i would be... Your heart, to try and mend it a little if i were a color, i would be... Blue if i were a fragrance, i would be... The ocean air if i were an emotion, i would be... Caring if i were a state or feeling, i would be...Bliss if i were a vegetable, i would be... a Zucchini if i were a sound, i would be... a Child?s laugh if i were an element, i would be... Water if I were a food, I would be..My Gourmet Pizza if I were fabric, I would be..Silk if I were one of the five senses, I would be.. Touch Current Mood: chipper |