I don't like anything.

Current Mood:	happy
Time:	12:19 pm

"X makes Y look like Z" is the new "X is the new Y."

Consequently, "X makes Y look like Z" makes "X is the new Y" look like "X is a poor man's Y."

PS: Cleaning today, Boston tomorrow, D.C. the next. Maybe Mission of Burma on Saturday night.

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Current Mood:	happy
Subject:	The lowdown
Time:	01:45 pm

Stealing a method from

gooberness, here's an update:

++ The toughest semester of my university career ended last Thursday.
+ Grandpa's 80th birthday party this past weekend was nice.
++++ I received word that I'll be working in D.C. for two weeks at $150/day this month. This will finance most of my summer.
++ Drool, nerds. My new email: sam.feinson@gmail.com
+++ Less than a month before I move into some sweet new digs.
+ Manny Ramirez offered to defer $5 million of pay to help the Sox re-sign Pedro.
++++ I can play wiffleball whenever I want to now.
++ Coffee and a t-shirt from Costa Rica my dear sister brought back for me.

-- Marcus is moving out for the summer on Wednesday.
- My apartment is full of boxes and crap.
- During my grandpa's birthday party I had to listen to my dad's cousin talk about being a Yankee fan during the 1978 World Series.

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Current Music:	The Flaming Lips - Ego Tripping at the Gates of Hell
Subject:	Well...
Time:	11:32 am

Yeah, "a few days" on those written pieces has become a few weeks. Tough. I'm studying and working on my Big Lebowski thesis. But I just wanted to mention a few good things:

1) The Expos came home to us this weekend.
2) My Red Sox are 6-1 against the Yankees this season.
3) I'm seeing the Pixies (!!!!) in Toronto this November.
4) You probably aren't. >:D
5) The US still develops and builds nuclear weapons.
6) School is almost done this year.

Je suis content.

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Subject:	For any and all of the GLBT and queer-positive Sox fans out there...
Time:	06:48 am

Not that Boston is renowned for being the most tolerant city or anything, but here goes...
(stolen from

redsox)

Red Sox is Love!

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Subject:	HEADLINES
Time:	02:31 pm

Scientists Invent Coolest Thing Ever

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Current Music:	None
Current Mood:	bored
Time:	04:57 am

Nabbed from Matty Flynn's bloggish thing:

1: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says:
presented at the University of Wisconsin, the University of Toronto, and

2: Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?:
The back of my computer monitor.

3: What is the last thing you watched on TV?:
This Is Spinal Tap (w/commentary), if DVDs count. They do, since it's my goddamn survey.

4: WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what the time is:
5:00am?

5: Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?:
5:00am. I am a chronological phenomenon.

6: With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?:
Some dude whistling outside.

7: When did you last step outside? what were you doing?:
I headed off to Mad Hatter's to drink and hang with my friends.

8: Before you came to this website, what did you look at?:
www.montrealshows.com

9: what are you wearing?:
A t-shirt saying "Your favorite band sucks," khaki pants, socks.

10: Did you dream last night?
Yup.

11: When did you last laugh?
At Mad Hatter's, earlier tonight.

12: what is on the walls of the room you are in?:
A portrait of the Sad Clown, some pictures taken by my roommate, my friend's comic stylings, and photos of a bullfight.

13: Seen anything weird lately?:
Nah.

14: What do you think of this quiz?:
meh.

15: What is the last film you saw?:
The Fog of War.

16: If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?:
A sailboat.

17: Tell me something about you that I don't know:
My parents don't know how sick and tired I've been of formal learning since frechman year of high school.

18: If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?:
Horrible question. Politics are everything. I'd get rid of world hunger, which is a political issue, jackass.

19: Do you like to dance?:
Yeah, but I suck at it.

20: George Bush: is he a power-crazy nutcase or some one who is finally doing something that has needed to be done for years?:
Neither. He doesn't know exactly what he's got. And he doesn't realize he's doing the wrong thing.

21: Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?:
Elizabeth, Fiona, or Rebecca.

21: Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?:
Zachary, Jon, Max, maybe even Sam.

22: Would you ever consider living abroad?:
I already do.

23: Will you pass on this survey?
Umm... I didn't.

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Current Music:	The Stooges - 1969
Current Mood:	energetic
Time:	01:35 pm

Spring has some back to Montreal, the baseball season has started again, I'm almost done with school, and I got a haircut.

Throw a cup of coffee in me and I'm a truckload of dynamite.

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Current Mood:	naughty
Time:	05:01 pm

Some will remember the commentary by Frank Deford that aired on NPR and later appeared on SI.com in text format. Well, after some email back and forth, I managed to contact Deford himself. He told me he remains ridiculously certain that Boston and NY don't have a "real" rivalry, and also sure that the two teams won't finish one-and two in the AL East this season. So I bet him a bobblehead and an on-air acknowledgement of "wrongness" that they would.

He accepted.

There's one born every minute...

(cross-posted in

redsox)

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Current Mood:	amused
Subject:	Funny robot
Time:	11:31 pm

A conversation I had with Catty2, a Google-driven chat bot...

Me: Hi, Catty, how are you?
Catty2: hmmm now how am i supposed to fix that catastrophic problem.
Me: With duct tape, perhaps.
Catty2: u.s. stocks of smallpox vaccine are nominally listed at 15 million doses but with packaging the useful number of doses is perhaps half that number :>
Me: Do you have smallpox? What a terrible disease!
Catty2: i love him we both had sex the night before and right now i am in a terrible mess because i screwed up everything with him last night
Me: You got smallpox from having sex?
Catty2: the decision to abstain from having sex can be either a long-term decision or a short-term one.
Me: Well, if it's short-term, it's not really abstinence, is it?
Catty2: well if it can then the next time you assault a dude :P
Me: Geez, you're a wild one.
Catty2: divine intervention in the very short term would have made that unnecessary.
Me: So wait... if God had somehow prevented you from deciding upon short-term abstinence, you wouldn't have assaulted a guy?
Catty2: ensure that you confirm your pick-up from the airport by filling out the form at airport reception short term accommodation ;-)
Me: But I'm not flying anywhere...
Catty2: cfb has a motto that is not publicly located anywhere but its one everyone still knows!
Me: What is CFB?
Catty2: if you could have cast the deciding vote against hitler would you have done so :*
Me: Of course.
Catty2: structure of course programmes course offered are modular.many advanced studies can be undertaken by distance education?!
Me: I prefer to go to classes on campus, myself.
Catty2: bri20 found many classes on neighbourhood.i could understand the each class but what20 is sequence of using them in order to create required structuring20 element ;>
Me: Excuse me?
Catty2: one was that meat was more expensive than lentils and i was broke or broke enough to choose to spend my limited budget on other classes of ingestibles.
Me: I've actually gone vegetarian myself, for economic and nutritional purposes.
Catty2: true it was more likely for economic purposes but this works as a more pc reason?!
Me: But who needs to be PC? I'm just trying it to see if it helps me. Put a plate of ribs in front of me, and I'll still probably eat a few.
Catty2: it would have to be mandatory but then he still probably wouldnt fight me
Me: What, the guy you assaulted?
Catty2: she happened to be sitting with a plate of turkey leftovers in front of the television at 11 p.m. when the winning numbers were announced
Me: Who are you talking about?
Catty2: now i have to go see that movie just to see what this persons talking about :(
Me: What movie? I don't get it. Are we even talking about the same things?
Catty2: caught in a slow-moving transition from customary to metric units we employ a fascinating and sometimes frustrating mixture of units in talking about the same things
Me: Okay.... I'm gonna go.
Catty2: and im not talking about the annoying fact that in so many languages other than english the nouns are masculine feminine and sometimes neuter
Me: See ya later.
Catty2: at a church retreat a group of us were talking about jesus :)

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Current Music:	Refused - Rather Be Dead
Current Mood:	infuriated
Subject:	GRR.
Time:	08:54 pm

I really want to punch someone in the face right now.

Doesn't matter who.

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Subject:	Romanes eunt domus.
Time:	11:10 am

I lurk in the shadows.
I swoop in without a sound.
I steal quizzes from the unwitting.

Furnulum pani nolo.
"I don't want a toaster."
Generally, things (like this quiz) tend to tick you
off. You have contemplated doing grievous
bodily harm to door-to-door salesmen.

Which Weird Latin Phrase Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

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Current Music:	Mission of Burma - Forget
Current Mood:	awake
Subject:	Something new
Time:	08:17 pm

In the next few days, oh loyal reader(s), I will be posting two works in progress. Recently I've been working in my spare time on both a short story and an essay on the decision (because that's what I think it is) to be religious or nonreligious. Once I've reached a point where I can temporarily go no further, I'm going to post them and ask anyone who happens to read this to comment.

P.S. Happy 408th birthday, René Descartes.

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Current Music:	The Diskettes - Come On Over
Subject:	Sabbath Humor
Time:	10:27 am

A little Christian humor for Sunday...

How many church members does it take to change a light bulb?

Charismatic:
Only one.
Hands already in the air.

Pentecostal:
Ten.
One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians:
None.
Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic:
Two. One to change the bulb and a priest to hear his confession before taking the risk.

Baptists:
At least fifteen.
One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.

Episcopalians:
Three.
One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

Mormons:
Five.
One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

Unitarians:
We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including candescent, fluorescent, three- way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence. Want some coffee?

Methodists:
Undetermined.
Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Church wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.

Nazarene:
Six.
One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

Lutherans:
None.
Lutherans don't believe in change.

Amish:
What's a light bulb?

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Current Music:	Joy Division - Transmission
Current Mood:	bouncy
Time:	06:51 pm

Wewelease Bwian!

Take that, Mel Gibson.

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Subject:	Eternal Sunshine
Time:	04:37 pm

Kaufman + Gondry = brilliant

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Current Mood:	awake
Subject:	Huntington Strikes Again (and other stories)
Time:	08:05 am

If you've read The Clash of Civilizations, you already suspected it. Samuel Huntington is a racist. Remind me, again, why Harvard puts up with this man. Anyone? Anyone? Anyhow, Peter Carlson has put together a critical and amusing article on Huntington's thinly-veiled bigotry.

Funny, I always thought "Anglo-Protestant culture" was an oxymoron.

(Found on Slate)
---

In other news, the dumbest Congressional bill ever.

---

And speaking of unconstitutional lawmaking, the good ol' boys back home in Tennesee's Rhea County have come up with this little gem. The defining quote: "We need to keep them out of here." That's Commissioner J.C. Fugate on, yes, homosexuals.

This is a county that holds an annual festival commemorating the Scopes Monkey Trial. Anglo-Protestant culture, I guess.

(Found on the Andrew Sullivan blog)
---

Thought I was done, for a second. But here we go... our government in action.

(Found on the Andrew Sullivan blog)

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Current Music:	Fugazi - Place Position
Subject:	Off da hizzle
Time:	07:16 pm

Seven ideas for t-shirts:
1. Jesus H. Christ: Another Jew for Peace (w/Jesus graphic)
2. PUPPIES VERSUS HITLER
3. FASHION PUNX FUCK OFF (unclever little reference)
4. fuck fashion (another unclever little reference)
5. Samosa King of Montreal (w/crown graphic)
6. United Empire Loyalists (done around a royal seal graphic)
7. SHAVE YOUR BABY

Tonight we go see Xiu Xiu at La Sala Rossa.

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Current Music:	Mission of Burma - Wounded World
Current Mood:	lethargic
Subject:	Jokesta
Time:	09:18 pm

From the wise malcontent Emo Phillips:

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said "Stop! don't do it!" "Why shouldn't I?" he said. I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!" He said, "Like what?" I said, "Well...are you religious or atheist?" He said, "Religious." I said, "Me too! Are you christian or buddhist?" He said, "Christian." I said, "Me too! Are you catholic or protestant?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me too! Are you episcopalian or baptist?" He said, "Baptist!" I said,"Wow! Me too! Are you baptist church of god or baptist church of the lord?" He said, "Baptist church of god!" I said, "Me too! Are you original baptist church of god, or are you reformed baptist church of god?" He said,"Reformed Baptist church of god!" I said, "Me too! Are you reformed baptist church of god, reformation of 1879, or reformed baptist church of god, reformation of 1915?" He said, "Reformed baptist church of god, reformation of 1915!" I said, "Die, heretic scum", and pushed him off.

---

By the way, the new Burma track "Wounded World" is pretty good -- different, but good.

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Current Music:	Fishbone - Party at Ground Zero
Current Mood:	excited
Time:	04:25 pm

Tonight, we party.

Oh, and by the way, the sky is falling. Stock up on bottled water.

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