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[04 Mar 2005|03:25pm] |
well it's been awhile and even with my last post I didn't write about the DRAMA. lol actually now that I've had a week to not think about it it's kind of funny. OK at the last LIVE meeting Jackie debuted her OHSOAWESOMEGREAT portfolio...now I agree, the portfolio is a great idea (it's basically a folder that has a lot of info on the orgs. with a business card for the new members)...it's a GREAT idea...so she's been working on it for 7 months...so you can only think of how wonderful it's going to be...
hahahhahahhaha that shit would have taken me five minutes to do. It was a plain black folder with a letter welcoming members from Jackie (hello? you're just the PR chair wtf do you welcome people?) and the "logo" that NOBODY likes was paper cliped to the letter. On the other side was the constitution (that she took from the office--meaning it's not like she had to retype a copy)...and two programs from the past two events (HHM and CDM) that's it. Is she mentally challenged? B/c I have NO NO NO NO clue why it took her so long to produce that piece of garbage...I'm actually laughing right now. she's a horrible horrible PR person. Then the stupid bitch freshman were being annoying and that just pissed me off. So I was so shitty after the LIVE meeting. I was almost brought to tears. But I cooled off and friday was nice. Thomas came over and we had a nice time...his roommate Andy knows...did I mention that? apparently he overheard our phone conversation...it's cool though. So then Saturday I left for Texas. The conference was alright. It was mainly just people bragging about their schools...so it really sucked. But the campus was beautiful and the people were all really friendly. And the food was off the chain. I had bbq ribs and this huge slice of pizza...and the guys I went with were cool. Apparently I think like a man. lol And I talked to Mike Allen about the Thomas situation and he said he understood why I wouldn't let our circle of friends know b/c there's limited options and there's too much drama. Speaking of which Thomas and I talked yesterday and he let it slip that those stupid girls think that I'm not over him "b/c of the way I look at him at meetings" I had to laugh b/c I know I don't look at him different and even if I do it's not for the reasons they think...it's just aggravating at times but I also think it's funny b/c people swear up and down that they know what's going on when they don't know anything. Anyway I've been home for only three days so it's been nice...and then I have all of next week...where I get to go shopping and get my haircut and get pampered b/c it's my b-day celebration. Hell yeah! lol I feel a lot more relaxed...thank God. I think I've put things in perspective and I'm eager to get back to school and continue to do what I need to do but I know that I'm going to be more focused on school and have different priorities. Speaking of I think I will email jessica later on and tell her about the disaster that is the talent show. The committee failed and while I usually would take the blame...there is no way in hell any of it is my fault...I did EVERYTHING I could so fuck it. and Jose wants me to email him and explain what happened with us...wtf? there was no us. I told Thomas and he said that guys say that when they want a girl to reconsider getting back together. lol. whatever. I just want to restate how GREAT it is to be home with no worries...and there's a new law and order show---not just a new episode a new SHOW. holla.
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| my future |
[25 Feb 2005|06:37pm] |
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mood |
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 cheerful |
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there's a girl in the purdue blogring in xanga that wrote about how she wants her future to be here and how she wants to be this great lawyer. She really inspired me b/c while I'm enjoying my time now and don't want the future to be here NOW I do look forward to it and am slowly realizing that there are things I need to do. I want to practice in LA I want to stop sexual predators from harming people. I want to put them away for a long time. For awhile I've been asking myself is sex crimes is what I want to focus on b/c my ultimate passion is with equal rights (and that phrase, to me, encompasses so much). But I feel that if I were to put my legal mentality on racial equality I would get burned out so fast b/c that is just such a strong passionate thing for me that I don't want to deal with it in just the legal aspect. I want to start some sort of organization that teaches alternative history to minority students...you know how there's greek school and jewish school (is that the right term? lol)...well I want to start some sort of hispanic school...where little kids up to h.s. students go and learn about OUR history and culture...so that we never forget where we came from or what we are capable of doing. I want to give kids something to aspire to besides being entertainers and athletes. I want to put us in major political positions and CEO's of fortune 500 companies. I want to help kids achieve that. I can do that with a non-prof or something like that. But when it comes to law I need to feel a sure justice and I need to feel that I'm putting the bad ones away. And I think sexual crimes fits better. So that's my life plan...to get there I have to get into LOYOLA...which means my grades need to get better...which means I need to FOCUS and study. My grades are for me and my plans and my plans will benefit a lot of people...I need to get it together. I really hope I come back from Spring Break rejuvenated and rested and ready to continue even if the Talent Show fails and any other drama that happens. Stacy was right I need to continuly ask myself if the thing that I'm trippin' over will matter in 5 years...and let's be honest some bootsy talent show will not. I need to relax...that came from Thomas :) I think the conference will be really fun and I'm so glad I was part of senate...ok I'll holla later :)
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[25 Feb 2005|02:57am] |
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I have so many thoughts/rants in my head...but no time...tomorrow.
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[23 Feb 2005|11:12pm] |
kristin is right...I need a break so bad.
I want to just say fuck it
I can't wait for tomorrow's leadership class...it's about self-care...trust me I need it.
and thomas better talk to me tonight or I will be so SO so shitty.
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| me gusta la gasolina... |
[22 Feb 2005|10:50pm] |
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mood |
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 melancholy |
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my tummy hurts...I woke up from a nap in a cranky mood. I'm tired of having to do everything myself...I tried for the talent show I really did. And I know jessica says to ask for help but when I do...everything just comes back to me. I emailed organizations at 1:00 in the morning yesterday. The whole thing is a mess...I hate my comittee, I hate those stupid freshman bitches...I wish it was next semester so I could have my own room, less responsibilities, and be looking forward to Paris.
Meanwhile...Thomas visited me yesterday it was nice...but Liz saw him coming out of the room...so I'm just going to tell him that they know...things should be simpler that way. whatever. I just want to go home...but on a bright note I had my meeting with the VP of senate (that's not the good part) and she asked who I thought has been a productive senator and 4 people have already mentioned me. Holla!
whatever...I should do homework now...that's why I'm really here. not for any other reason and I really wish I had listened to Thomas today at the MLK and stayed with him instead of going to the poetry slam. I would have enjoyed my time better. :( stupid. why do I sacrifice myself like that? samantha would have skipped it to be with Chris...maybe I need to start realizing that shit can be fine without me and start doing somethings for me.
that would be nice.
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| it's only monday... |
[21 Feb 2005|02:34pm] |
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mood |
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 mellow |
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music |
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let's get blown//snoop dogg f/pharell |
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It's only monday and I want to be home NOW. I only went to history today. ...I don't know I was sleepy and I didn't really get a good night's rest at all this weekend. I have to walk to heritage hall...boo! whatever. in about two hours Thomas is going to come and visit me :) yay. We talked twice yesterday ("I guess things are getting pretty serious" lol). But he told me what I said on the phone...like I said I miss you a lot...and I guess I asked Carl for a hug while I was talking to him on the phone and he asked how could I ask for a hug while I was telling him that I missed him and I said something like, why did he care b/c we aren't together LOL. too funny...but apparently there's this rumor that last year Carl and I used to hook up---which is beyond true. And I thought Thomas was joking but usually he would say...I'm joking. but this time he said, it's cool don't worry about it. ??? I've never been with Carl and I don't like him thinking that. anyway I need to get my passport...peace :)
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| One ticket sold |
[20 Feb 2005|11:23am] |
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mood |
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 drained |
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music |
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get rightt/J-lo |
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Where to start? k, friday was good. Comedian SHANG FORBES was SO funny. Then after that the eboard went to dinner with him that was fun...espcially b/c this boy came with us named Pat (hate the name but love his body lol) he's hot. Then we went to a kegger...it was alright...I had to cups and I regretted it b/c I didn't get tipsy or anything so to me it was just excess calories. Anyway Saturday started off well....the dinner went 100% better than what I imagined, People really liked the two impersonations that BSO did even though it was eboard doing it. And Kwau danced with the president's wife lol. the food was SO good...I started craving some King's Ribs lol b/c they lady had some really good ribs. I was like a pig...I didn't put my fork down for an hour (seriously). The speaker was Richard Hatcher...the first black mayor of a major city. And koye is there still a "Nick's Old English Pub" or something like that near IU's campus? b/c Mr. Hatcher was part of the group that started a protest b/c Nick's was segregated and b/c of their protests Nick's integrated and so all the other restaurants did as well. He was pretty cool...he spoke for a damn near hour and usually I'm cool with long speakers but even I was getting agitated...but he was still good. And the one thing he said that I liked was that "we all have an obligation to push that rock just a little farther until we can't push any more" The rock being what's in the way of human equality. And then when he finished he made us chant, "I'll never give up, I'll never give in. I'll keep on fighting til I win!" And the first time everyone said it was pretty tame...so then he made just the guys say it and it was cool b/c he said that he knew the men were going to win lol and so the boys all put the bass in their voice...but then when it was the girls turned we stood up and we were loud! lol it was really empowering. And when Rachelle was introducing her father I started getting teary-eyed. I always get sad when I see a father and daughter. I mean I go weeks without thinking about my dad and I'm not angry with him or anything but sometimes it makes me sad that some girls get to have a relationship with their father and I don't. I don't mean that I get jealous...I just get sad b/c that will be a love that I never will experience. even if my father and I someday form a relationship that's valid...I will never know what it is to be a little girl with a dad who cares so much. Rachelle said that when she was growing up no matter what her dad was doing if any of her sisters went to him he'd drop whatever he was doing and they became his world. I'll never have that. But if that's the cost I pay for having my mom then I'll take it b/c my mother is the shit. lol that's a horrible way to describe her but she's the most self sacrificing woman and all she wants is for us to be happy...she's never pressed her wants on us never made us try to change...she's the best.
anyway on a enitrely different note that shows how I'm hardly an adult...I drank so much last night...it was redunkulous. actually at the MLK center kwau, tantea, samantha and I drank a bottle of bicardi and omg, I seriously drank half ot it. I shouldn't have drank so much I was comepletely drunk for the first hour then just tipsy but to be honest I think I came to work and I might still have been drunk lol. so I don't know...there was just no need for me to drink that much...but I'm crazy b/c I only like to drink if I'm going to get drunk otherwise I worry about the calories. And samantha was way more blitzed than me and she screamed at Big Mike it was crazy...and I called thomas lol that will be interesting I think I told him that I missed him, that I wish he had come even though I knew he was going to ignore me...and I think I said that a lot b/c he said it was getting irritating...I have no clue...I was gone and then he got upset that I asked Carl for a hug while I was talking to him...omg...embarassing. and I honestly don't remember...not that I don't remember but like the time just flew by and I didn't really do anything b/c I was too drunk to dance like my body was so heavy. so I don't know what occupied my time...and no it wasn't drinking lol b/c we downed that bottle and that was it b/c we're not suppose to drink in the center. anyway that was my crazy weekend...now I can't wait to get out of texas (for that conference) so that I can go home and by babyed.
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| I can't believe I have a moment to breath... (more cussing than usual--ma trompe) |
[17 Feb 2005|06:53pm] |
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mood |
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 busy |
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music |
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bs on the radio |
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next year has got to be better than this. But first I need to bitch...k, that stupid girl Nikki who's on my (MY) committee for the talent show IMed me yesterday telling me that I needed to tell her as soon as I could if the talent show was being pushed back. BITCH PLEASE!!! I"m the motherfuckin' head of the committee...don't tell me what I need to do as soon as I can...and wtf was she going to do with this information? she has NO NO NO say in what happpens...it goes thru me...sounds like I'm being a dictator? well I don't give a fuck I've been organizing and putting on events since I've been at Valpo and everyone has been better than the one before so don't fucking act like you know...espcially when you've never EVER done this...bitch. BUT that's not the end...this morning I IM the heiffer to let her know that I had posted fliers in brandt cafe and she asked me some questions and I answer her that hopefully with these fliers we'd be getting some sales...K. WHY WHY!! did this bitch tell me...yeah but we need contestants for the audience. WTF? omg, really nikki? we need contestants? for a talent show? are you serious? bitch the only tickets we're selling are for the motherfuckin' registration. SHIT. DO I look like some dumbass bitch? do you think that I just sit around and let all the other motherfuckers do that work? NO BITCH I DO EVERYTHING. k, I do more than jessica...not that I don't appreciate her but it's true. but it's my job so I'm cool with it but don't EVER EVER fucking talk to me like I'm a goddamn idiot...we need contestants NO FUCKING SHIT!!! damn
anyway tonight is the LIVE movie night which really will just take me away from studying but whatever. and in 7 minutes I have to go and advertise LIVE's talent show at the 707 lounge. b/c everyone tells me what I should do but no one takes initiative to fucking do it. whatever. anyway everything else is great. I want to beat those stupid bitches asses...b/c even yesterday fuckin' delia screamed at me...BITCH don't you EVER scream at me and just for that I was going to be with cool with them but those fat ass heiffers can kiss my ass. I'll explain what she was talking about later b/c I have to go advertise.
help me Jesus.
edit:
so anyway I just did my little advertisment and this would be the day that they have 707 during a bball game so I didn't have that big of an audience. oh well. anyway Rachelle just told me that she tried to book some def poets (that would be so sweet!) and that larry moesher (the union director) said..."I don't know we're going to have to talk about that b/c I know those BLACK comedians and poets can't do their acts without cussing and being vulgar" UM...b/c black comedians and poets don't have any self control right? wtf? this from the guy that ok Lost Boys Confusion...and that last time they came to VU they yelled Valpo sucks dick in the mics...sooo...yeah I guess it's those wild black comedians...he's such a dick. And I would just say he's ignorant BUT Dr. arredondo spoke to us today in my leadership class and say that ignorance is an excuse that the mainstream group falls back on...minorities don't have that and it's not about being ignorant it's about waking up...Larry Moesher needs to wake the hell up! what a jerk. Anyway I need to get back to my room so I can pick up the stupid subways for tonight's movie night...which I'm SURE will consist of mainly the freshmen...which I guess isn't bad ...it's just that they're bitches to me...oh! k, this is why delia screamed at me...apparently the dessert for Cinco De Mayo is suppose to fruit cups...Maria's father was going to do it and I assumed her father was going to make like fruit with gelatin and some other stuff...but apparently it's just fruit. so then Maria asked if we could get fruit from the Union and I said...I, myself don't care, but there might be some people that are like oh...it's fruit from the Union. And tell me, why did that stupid bitch look at me her eyes got BUGEYED! and she gets an attitude and tells me it's just fruit...yells it. BITCH one, I said I didn't give a fuck but secondly now that I think about it the food is going to be the least thing from mexican it's from fucking don pablos. that's as american as fuckin' taco bell. so yeah food is rediculously stupid. there was going to be five different people bringing in food...finally got that fixed. But I got believe that bitch yelled at me and I told Jessica if she saw that after the meeting and she goes yeah I know but they're sarcastic like that--that they get like that with her...and I tell her yeah but they fucking like you. there's a difference.
anyway like Kanye said, "I'm feeling like the little girl in 6th sense...I'm feeling much better now...I'm feeling a hell of a lot better"
thanks for listening and sorry about the bitching.
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| I've been spitting hits since master P was saying UUUUUHHHH! |
[15 Feb 2005|03:23pm] |
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mood |
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accomplished |
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music |
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overnight celebrity//Twista |
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lol wassup? k, so I really want to go home so that I can get a massage and haircut and pedicure and get my f-ing eyebrows threaded. But besides that it will be my Birthday celebration the weeks that I'm home b/c I'll be away on my birthday...so you know I'll be milking that when I go home. I'm excited about Texas...I just want to get away and hear some inspirational speakers...not that they'll be as good as the ones at USHLI b/c they won't be aimed at Hispanics. But I should get some good ideas for leadership stuff for when I'm a senior...so I got some sort of epiphany about Law school and that I need to get my shit (academically) together RIGHT NOW b/c acceptance to LOYALA isn't garaunteed. boo, I wish it was. I have to work in California. Anyway the BSO comedian is this friday followed by the dinner the next day...and I will be getting crunked at the afterparty...hopefully. I think I'm going to go back to my room and take a nap now...I don't get it I slept so much last night...that's probably why I'm sleepy...stupid body.
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| whoodi---who!! |
[14 Feb 2005|07:56pm] |
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mood |
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happy |
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music |
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law and order---I miss lenny briscoe :( |
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It's Valentine's Day...as if y'all didn't know! lol mmmm so this is the 20 (or 21st) valentine I've lived thru without a valentine...damn my ass is old...and actually I'm not trippin' too much b/c My Teddy Bear did come and visit me and while the ass had nothing to give me I did enjoy my time with him. Even though some bitch did hit on him while he took his nieces and nephews out to eat this weekend. UGH. whatever...we had fun. Anyway this weekend was crazy...weird. I did nothing I'm such a LOSER. but ok this is what happened Friday SUCKED I worked some crazy guy kept wanting me to read his poems (um, no thank you)...then I sold 400$ in tickets on friday and I couldn't get my register and ticket bags even...I had way way way too much money left over...then that was friday...I slept. Saturday I woke up and dragged my ass to the ARC to blow up balloons b/c Joy (that f-ing whore lol) asked me to help her (b/c the bia doesn't have friends) anyway I went...then she ASSIGNED me a section to throw out the ballons during the game without asking if I'd do it...and b/c I'm SO nice I said yes. After that I got ready and went to Vagina Monologues! it was sooo awesome it was better than last years and last year's was good. I loved loved it...I want to be in it sometime before I graduate...I want the BOB story. And the cast got to go to Wabash on sunday to perform for the males and Eve Ensler was there and she signed my vagina! lol wait, we could draw (if we wanted to) something that symbolizes our vaginas...and all the papers had the phrase: my vagina is...so I drew a crown (of course) and put "my kingdom come" lol funny stuff...but she signed it and wrote "bless you and bless your vagina" then i went to the game and Valpo played IUPUI...you guys wone BUT not by a lot...and I got to see David Barlow's peanut head and we spoke a little after the game. he looks just like he did in 8th grade. And that was my night. Sunday I was so late to work...this weekend was rediculous...and that was it. I saw anchorman again...not as funny the second time around lol but still good. Anyway this was a long post. OH! wait one more thing...yesterday I spoke to Manuel!!! you all remember richard's cousin? yay maña! he's doing good...still attached to his mother's apron though...he actually wrote "have to work on getting your degree first then worry about girls"...OMG...he's going to be so so so socially awkward when he's older...probably now too...not b/c he's never dated--that's not a big deal but b/c he's like asexual...does that make sense? whatev I'll explain it better if anyone really cares. k, time to get ready for senate...wahoo! no.
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| I'll take you to the candy shop... |
[07 Feb 2005|04:17pm] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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music |
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girl fight//brooke valentine |
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I've been thinking about location lately...and how the environment effects how we operate and are...I think it's b/c of J-lo's new video--stupid skeez. But she's all those different people and I was thinking that if I had stayed in certain places and never left I'd be a totally different person...like if I had stayed in my middle school (not lincoln) I would be this little ghetto girl and I probably wouldn't be in college and I might even have had a child. It's rediculous b/c all those girls that I hung out with and was like are not at the same place I am now...it's just weird and if I stayed at Pike I would have become this stuck-up preppy princess...and while I am stuck up right now I think I have a different air about me then what some of my friends at Pike were---mainly I look at elenita and think...oh that's what'd I be like...not that it'd be bad it's just different. And the fact that I transfered to BD from Pike was I don't know the exact word it was good b/c I wanted to leave but it also was like --oh-- b/c BD is a three year school so I had already experienced a year and half of high school while all my classmates were barely half into their first year. So I def. felt more mature and a bit distant...which is probably why I didn't try to make real friends...which is why I didn't really have female problems in high school and why I'm not a backstabbing type of friend here at school...b/c that's just not something I did. So I was just thinking about it b/c things could be so different. Anyway...that was random...but last night Thomas and I discussed our situation. I did bring it up---well he asked me to tell him but still. I just didn't want to create illusions and not have them become reality. So we talked and we both are not sure what is happening b/c neither of us have ever done this and it's def. not something I envisioned. And I did ask why he thought we weren't in a relationship and he said he wasn't sure but he felt that he didn't have the right amount of time and he knows I don't either when it comes to putting in time for a relationship...and I agree. Like it would be expected that I see him everyday and this semester I don't have the time...it's just a matter of fact. I told samantha and she said she thought it was a cop-out. that's why I didn't want to tell them. They act like I'm not going into this with open eyes and while I know they want me to be happy I don't like that they minimize what he and I are...yes we're not together. But we are more than friends we're affectionate and we care for one another...we open up to each other, we talk nearly every day...actually we do talk everyday. I'm happier with him now than before when I had to worry about him visiting and how he talked to me and when we were going to hang out...and there's no fights. And why does everything have to be so black and white either we're together or not? why can't there be different shades of relationships...not everything is so simple. I don't know I just don't like when we're refered to as fuck buddies--to me that signifies no respect, that once you're done you get up and leave, you don't emotionally care for the other person and that isn't the case with him and I. But I don't want to explain it to them b/c why do I need to tell them my business. But whatever...I'm not upset I'm just thinking about things.
But I'm happy and he's happy and I think in the end that's what matters b/c maybe in the future something more will come of this...but it's not like I'm holding my breath :)
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| just ordinary people |
[05 Feb 2005|08:49pm] |
first,
You are Chanel!
What (non drugstore) Makeup Brand Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
oh lala I didn't think I'd get chanel...and they're kind of wrong about trends (ugg boots, everyone?) lol but still.
So my mami called me this morning and she said she's depositing money for me---obviously only b/c she loves me b/c I haven't asked her for money in a while...and I could act like an adult and tell her no...but I want to order something from sephora...I'm not sure what I just want to order something.
I'm at work right now and some guy bought a bag of skittles and he said porfavor to me. He's obviously not hispanic so I HOPE he said this b/c he's learning spanish not because I'm hispanic b/c that irks me so f-ing much...I speak ENGLISH just fine and how cute for you to know spanish but it just seems patronizing to me...or like am I suppose to acknowledge that I understand? I mean whatever maybe I"m being overlysensitive. Whatever
Tonight I'm spending the night at Thomas'. :) I'm happy. actually last night I got pissed b/c I thought the ass had gone home and hadn't even told me bye. But when I got back from work he IMed (at 1:30 in the morning---this is when I got back from work) and we talked for a little bit and he said he wanted me to spend the night with him and that he "wants to hold me in his arms all night long" awww...no not really. I don't know what to make of this. I mean I'm not stressing, I like being with him but I don't know if he's going to try to take this to another level again. I guess if we tried we could make it work. in less than a year it will end though b/c I don't think I should be with him when I'm in paris but who knows, right? anyway I just know I'm looking forward to tonight because I do like having him hold me...even if he is a huge ass.
oh and I saw Enough with my skank j-lo...I have to admit I liked it and I'm glad she killed the guy...but I definitely am for killing domestic abusers...I guess I'm prejudice.
boss is here bye
Anyway
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| hold me close... |
[04 Feb 2005|06:04pm] |
yeah so I feel like I actually have a lot to say first I won a $1,000 scholarship thru the office of multicultural programs. I guess Jane nominated me and I won.!! yay
Next I realized why I need to room by myself...guess who's here? yep Audric...omg....it's not that I don't like him or that I don't want their relationship to last but I seriously don't like extra people in my room. Because it's my room...and he came up yesterday all unannounced...he just walked in and i looked at him and was like what are you doing here? such shit...I mean at least let me know. it's so annoying. And these room aren't big to begin with and me and liz aren't the neatest people so the room is always a MESS when he's here. annoying. grrrrr can't wait for my own room
I'm at work and samantha is suppose to bring chris by so I can meet him. :) I hope he likes me...b/c I get along real well with Audric and Zach.
I need to go to the store.
Thomas possibly isn't going home this weekend so he and I might hang out tomorrow. That will be nice...
oh and I guess I should explain more about our conversatiion. It kind of came out of nowhere we were just talking and then slowly he started to tell me things about his father and his feelings...it was so different than any other conversation...it was so scary b/c he was really opening himself up to me. So yeah we definitely have a weird relationship...I hope he gets me something for valentine's day or I will be shitty----I bet I end up being shitty.
I guess I should do homework.
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| I shouldnt' be here |
[04 Feb 2005|12:24am] |
I should be upstairs working on my paper but...I've already decided tonight's going to be an all nighter...yay.
And I just wanted to write that last night Thomas and I had a very intense conversation. He really opened up to me about his father and about why he does some things he does...and this was all thru IM...so I think in person he'll open up even more. Like I really want him to open up to me...I want him to confide in me. This is the weirdest relationship ever...but I should go.
sihdyaopietuaw0[eua[pwo udjf ---that's what's going thru my head right now...NOTHING>
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| power up |
[02 Feb 2005|01:58pm] |
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mood |
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busy |
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music |
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bring em out//TI |
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So Jane the director of the office of multicultural programs (and the sweetest lady!!) invited me to this conference in NEW YORK!!! omg, that would be so so so awesome! I've never been. The conference is the leading conference that deals with ethnicity and leadership. It's from May 31st to June 3rd. It cost 500 to register and such...so she thinks that if I applied for the scholarship that they offer I'd have a good chance at winning and going for almost free.---sweet. I kind of feel bad b/c jane is inviting me to this then a few days ago she emaied me and three other people to ask if we wanted to go to the Chinese New Year's dinner with her. I don't want people to think that I'm better than them. I don't want to tell liz and samantha about the conference. Not that they couldn't go but Jane thinks that I, as a senator (and she included all the other minority senators) have a better chance at winning this scholarship. But I guess at the same time I have nothing to feel ashamed about...I just don't want people to get discouraged b/c everyone contributes and I don't want them to think that I'm the only one getting recognized for it. OMG jackie has almost finished the LIVE logo/portfolio...sweet. It's really exciting stuff...sorry I'm a loser and am really into my orgs. anyway I should go back to my room to get ready for work...Delta Sigma Pi (the business frat) is having some event in the Union while I work...and holla that means Guys In Suits...I <3 men in suits...it's so sexy...and yeah I think Thomas will be in there with them. cool. so if I get engaged I want my diamond to be the size of my pinkie nail...and everyone acts like I want it to be the size of a quarter---I have very small hands. But whatever it's my ring. if I even get one...anyway I'm out. tonight is the BSO "the N word" forum...yay?..
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| take it easy |
[01 Feb 2005|01:29am] |
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sweeter//punjabi mc |
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today's senate meeting was a HUGE success and it was a full packed house and all the organizations came and let senate know that we all need our voices to be represented. It was awesome...the motion failed with only two people voting for it. HOLLA!!! this is what I needed! it's such a rejuvenator. now I can see (again) that I'm not running around for nothing, that I do make a difference. But more importantly than that all the orgs came and repped and spoke and senate kept it real...well as real as they can--nuck if you buck.--whatever that means. OMG, it was awesome and I really hope I made a point that I didn't think the committee researched or discussed enough b/c we didn't and I made Joy look like a moron when I asked to see that hardcopy data of the surveys we used (and they said the consensus was that people wanted this---then bitch, back it up!). lol she didn't bring anything that had any numbers or information or summary of the surveys...b/c they were bullshit. YAY for that. So obviously I'm happy and thanks for any happy thoughts and or prayers that came my way. Much apprecaite it. So I should be in bed now but I thought I'd write. I'm just very very happy...even though I know my senior year we're going to have to do this again...the minority seats are ALWAYS questioned. Damn. But whatever. Um, I'm happy I hope everyone else is too. I'll write later...
:D ---that's me right now...je lolle (that's lol in french...not joking).
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| well... |
[30 Jan 2005|01:39pm] |
Today at 8pm I have a meeting with Peter and we're going to discuss this entire fuck up of seat allocation committee. I hope it's the right thing. Secondly, I have to get a lot of shit done today...Yay? lol
so this weekend was fun. Friday samantha, liz, and I headed over to Kevin's and we drank a bit but I only got buzzed then we went to MLK but it was whack. But apparently I was in a good mood according to Big Mike and he said that he wished I was always drunk b/c I'm nicer. Whatever. But after MLK we all went to theta chi...it was cool. I kind of just ended up dacing with thomas and of course everyone was looking at us lol and I'm sure I'll get shit for it from tina next time I see her. But it's cool.
And I got a facial from Mary Kay yesterday...fun stuff! I loved it!
c'est tout.
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| sometimes... |
[28 Jan 2005|07:25pm] |
sometimes I wonder why I stress myself out over the organizations when I could just focus on classes...but then shit like today happens and I know why I can't just stop.
Seat Allocation Committee was a fucking joke and that Joy and Neilson and the other com. members act like this proposal was created by Jesus pisses me off. First Mike Nevergall just came up with this proposal out of NOWHERE any reserach he did about this was never mentioned. In the school newspaper the article about this motion said that we looked at the number of minorities on campus and that was our reasoning for decreasing the number of minorities on senate. LIE. Those numbers were NEVER presented to the committee thru disscussion or any other format. The motion itself says we did surveys to get an idea about a new structure...we NEVER used those surveys to tell us what we were suppose to do. They weren't even there at the last meeting. Today Joy and that pendejo sean were at an info table and I got liz and this other girl Korrina and Pia to go and ask questions and that bitch just came up with bullshit and she tried to mention that it isn't fair that minorities are "overrepresented" because there's the possibility of "reverse racism" because the minority organizations are "taking over campus" THIS IS COMPLETE BULLSHIT. I know that I'm stressing over this too much b/c it's not going to pass and I'm going to have a full house but it's rediculous that every two years we have to fight for these seats and that this committee fucked up and is trying to present valid information. I'll admit that my mistake was that I didn't speak up when that dumbfuck mike nevergall spoke...and that's because he makes me uncomfortable...but I should have gotten over that and now I'm trying to make up for it. But it's sooo frustrating and I feel like they are being really unethical with all the lies about research, and surveys and all that other shit. I'm so pissed. Please guys pray and seen positive thoughts that this motion fails and that my report goes well...and that I say the right things. :)
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| I knew you were coming... |
[27 Jan 2005|03:20pm] |
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So today I went to the chapel during chapel break to see the guest pastor...she was an alumn (c/o 84) and she's the first black women to ever be a guest pastor. She was great. She talked about how she asked the BSO advisor (loujeanne) how she did it b/c it 1980 it was difficult for all students of color and Loujeanne told her that she came back to Valpo b/c "I knew you were coming, and I know more of you will come" ...isn't that inspiring? it really shows that individuals have such a HUGE impact on people and groups and it keeps me going. so speaking of going...today I hauled ass all over campus to get things done for senate. I NEED a full house at next monday's meeting b/c there's NO way the minority and international seats can be eliminated. NO WAY. I'm so upset about this. But it looks like I'm getting a lot of support. I still have to email all my consituents and ask them to come and support. hopefully the motion will fail. What else...I still have a lot to do for BSO and LIVE but I've definitely have gotten refreshed for the orgs. and this week was hella busy. But everything is falling into place and I'm even studying (for real!) lol it's good. um...so I'm a little rushed but I still feel accomplished.
And last night thomas and I talked for 2 hours on line. it was nice. we kind of got some things out in the open. Because I made a comment about how he said LOL a lot now and that it meant I was rubbing off on him and he was like don't say that b/c it means we're spending too much time together and I was like is that a bad thing? and he was like I don't know...and I was like that's good to know and he asked why and I said b/c then I know where we both are at...and he asked where I was and I said I wasn't sure b/c this "relationship" was so unexpected and while we like each other we didn't enough to work on the real relationship but I don't think it's bad to take advantage of our attraction...and he said he agreed lol but I don't know then he started complimenting me and we talked some more...the whole situation is so weird but it's true as long as we're both happy about the situtation then it shouldn't be a worrisome issue. so that's my drama. :)
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| I need to be the best hopscotcher in the world... |
[24 Jan 2005|11:56pm] |
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then she slammed her face! lol omg, I love passions! So I just got back from senate and it was ssooo much fun! lol well not the actual meeting...a lot of us went to bdubs afterwards and that was fun. I sat near Peter and his roommate...they're cute. They're like me and liz...which is weird b/c they're guys. So anyway peter then asked me why I never go down to his Frat...I'm so sure my stupid ass is just going to randomly show up there lol. But he's cool...and I think when he does BINGO at the union (yeah extra cool) I'll work it so that I'll get extra money and I get to hang with him b/c he's fun. um...I'm 100% sure the SAC motion will not pass...which is a relief but I want all the LIVE BSO AAA and VISA members to show up and create a full house. That will show that stupid bigot Mike Nevergall...I hate that bitch. Anyway I should do politics now. oh and I just want to add that I love my adviosr! she totally rocked and helped me out today! yay! c'est tout.
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