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Wednesday, November 13th, 2002
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3:34 pm - WEREWOLFNESS
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Werewolf is the coolest game in the world. Except Ravenloft.
But Werewolf is NEW.
Name: Adam Walker (Quiet-as-Rain)
Breed: Homid
Auspice: Ahroun
Tribe: Child of Gaia
Nature/Demeanor: Caregiver/Loner
Attributes: Strength 4 (6/8/7/5), Dexterity 3 (3/4/5/5),
Stamina 3 (5/6/6/5), Charisma 2, Manipulation 1 (0/0/0/0),
Appearance 4 (3/0/0/0), Perception 2, Intelligence 3, Wits 3
Abilities: Alertness 1, Athletics 3, Brawl 2, Dodge 3,
Intimidation 1, Primal Urge 2, Animal Ken 1, Drive 2,
Melee 2, Computer 2 Enigmas 1, Medicine 3, Rituals 1,
Science 2
Backgrounds: Kinfolk 1, Pure Blood 2, Resources 2
Gifts: Smell of Man, Inspiration, Mothers Touch
Rank: 1
Rage: 5 Gnosis: 3 Willpower: 8
Glory: 2
Honor: 1
Image: In Homid form, the 6'2 raven-black haired, Blue eyed
man has been called 'an adonis'. While not bulging with
muscles, he is well built. He gives the impression of being
a gentle giant, most people who know him say he couldn't
hurt a fly. In lupus form, his Fenrir heritage shows: Huge
Broad shoulders, and large, muscular jaws. His black coat
has a grey sheen. But his eyes are the same brilliant blue
as his Homid form's
Background: Adam was always a weird kid. As a young kid,
his onyl real close friend was his Dog, A Husky named
Harold. He refused to go on 'playdates' with other
children. He always preferred to be alone by himself.
Living in rural North Carolina, he often had the chance to
go off by himself into the woods and just sit there,
breathing the fresh air. His parent's attitude towards him
hadn't helped either. His father was always off
on 'business trips' to all corners of the world
(Unbeknownst to Adam, his father was constantly fighting
the servants of the wyrm). His mother was a bitter kinfolk
woman, and she resented the fact that her son would grow up
to be a Garou, something she could never hope to be.
He knew he was gay by the time he was 14, but intense shame
and guilt caused him to keep it completely hidden. Almost
everybody knew however, because hed often get into these
huge fits of temper, spouting obscenities and threats,
whenever anyone made fun of homosexuality.
He had always loved sports, but hated the bigotry and
savagry that went along with it in a high school setting.
He often pursued solitary sports, like swimming or running
(a personal favorite was white water Kayaking).
Academically, he was not at the top of his class, but his
passion and excitement towards medicine got the attention
of (University in city/town where Chronicle starts).
At this university he met his first lover,Derek... and then
the unthinkable happened. While out with Derek, a gang of
piss-drunk men began to verbally abuse the two. Verbal
abuse became physical abuse... and one of the men punched
Derek in the gut. Anger, Anger unimaginable boiled inside
the young man... and he regained control 20 minutes later,
the five attackers dead. Derek was in shock for hours, the
delirium having overpowered his senses. While desperately
trying to make sense of the situation... a Get approached
the cub.
After being taught abpout Garou society, Adam was aghast at
the inherent violence, and his position therin. AS an
Ahroun, and from a bloodline of Fenrir, it was only natural
that he would accept his plsce among them, a mindless
killing machine. Finding the philosophies of the children
far more to his liking, he abandoned the Get (much to
everyone's disproval) and joined the Children of Gaia.
Cyrrent Sketch: Adam does everything he can to avoid
violence. He has spent his entire life building up a system
of controls to keep him from going over the edge (Thus his
high willpower). Even so, the rage is strong with him, and
he finds himself fighting his own inner urges with every
step he takes. Though he has an extremely pacifistic
nature, he is more than willing to fight should he be
forced into a situation. Anything to protect those who need
it.
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, November 12th, 2002
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9:27 pm
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| Saturday, November 9th, 2002
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11:58 pm
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Anybody out there have a magic deck theyd just love to play against any of mine over the internet? I'm desperate to practice and make this deck better. Anyone? PLEASE?!?!!?
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(comment on this)
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12:18 am
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Why is it that the very things that make me happy, that i love so much, always also depress me?
On the simplest of levels: Requiem for a Dream. Its great. its wonderful. But it depresses me.
Performing: Whenever I feel like I'm not doing weell, I beat myself up, I MANGLE myself. But I love it so much. Its a vent. But, for those who know me, I don;t sing recreationally anymore. Not since this last show. Totally destroyed whatever confidence I have in my voice. I CAN'T sing recreationally anymore, not well. I can;t sing well and have fuin doing it, because I'm so worried about it, now.
And lets just mentioin Charlie, and not even require me to explain it, beyond the fact that some die must be rolled every time I talk to him. If its a 1 a two, or a three, Depression., Somethijg he does or says will just make me feel terrible. on a 4, my life will continue on as normal... but on a 5 or 6, all my problems are solved. I'm happy, I ahve a male friend that understands me. bliss. and its fucking worth it. However, about 20 minutes ago I rolled a two. So I'm miserable...
current mood: miserable
current music: Agony, in my head, anyway
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, November 6th, 2002
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3:23 pm
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NowhereKiwi: and talking to people on AIM is still talking to people on internet, just like in AvP2
NowhereKiwi:thus I dont talk
SGPrinceofShadow: Its different, and you know it
SGPrinceofShadow: So basically what youre saying
SGPrinceofShadow: Is that you have your AVP2 crowd, and youre too cool for us Aim people?
NowhereKiwi: LoL, yes thats what I'm saying
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, November 4th, 2002
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2:30 pm - Its been ages since I've done one of these
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// series one - as usual
-- Name: John Kennington Heath! Woo!
-- Birthdate: 7-5-85, I'ma Cancerous growth!
-- Birthplace: Boynton Beach, Florida. INsert Sarcasm here.
-- Current Location: Hell. Burning Hell of Death.
-- Eye Color: Blue! I'd like to think that theyre a steely gray blue, but I'm a dreamer ;)
-- Hair Color: Brown
-- Righty or Lefty: Right!
-- Zodiac Sign: Uhm... err... I forget which is the Zodiac. I'm either a Cancer or an Ox. Take your pick ;)
-- Innie or Outtie: Innie...
// series two - describe
-- Your heritage: ENGLISH! ENGLISH! My lesser half is half Spanish Half Italian
-- The shoes you wore today: Greyish with Blue stuffs.
-- Your hair: Too long. Needs to be cute. Bangs covering my forehead and annoying stubble that should ahve been shaved a long, long time ago.
-- Your eyes: Bluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuue. And I wear glasses that have no rim, so theyre invisiglasses
-- Your weakness: I'm far too sensitive and flighty. And I latch on way too easy. And I'm a bastard to those who care about me.
-- Your fears: War. Charlie or Krysta getting hurt.
-- Your perfect pizza: Cheese. Straight Cheese ;)
-- One thing you'd like to achieve: I'd like to become a real actor. on stage or screen. /sighs dramatically
// series three - what is
-- Your most overused phrase on AIM: Either "Howdy!" or "Anyway..."
--- best physical feature: My voice. Which is kinda physical.
-- Your greatest accomplishment: Hmmm. Getting into FAU? :-\
// series four- you prefer
-- Pepsi or Coke: Coke
-- McDonald's or Burger King: Burger King! They have Kings Supreme :)
-- Adidas or Nike: Eych?
-- Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla
- Cappuccino or coffee: Coffee :)
// series five - do you
-- Smoke: Non. Nein. Never. Smoke is the devils work ;)
-- Cuss: I didn;t use to. But a combination of Billy Joel and Charlie has me cussing all the time now ;)
-- Sing well: Yes! When i'm in the right mood, anyway
-- Take a shower everyday: Sometimes...
-- Have a crush(es): Maybe
-- Who are they: Maybe
-- Do you think you've been in love: Never
-- Like high school: Non. Nein. Never. High School is the devils work ;)
-- Want to get married: Someday... hopefully... maybe
-- Type with your fingers on the right keys: HAHAHHAAHAHAH. AS if ;)
-- Believe in yourself: Yep. Most of the time anyway. When I'm not beating myself up.
-- Get motion sickness: Nope
-- Think you're attractive: Sometimes ;P
-- Think you're a health freak: Hahahhaha! My room is the biggest den of filth and disease you'll ever see ;)
-- Get along with your parents: When they get along with me.
-- Like thunderstorms: When I'm not out in them
-- Play an instrument: my VOICE
// series six - in the past month, did/have you
-- Drank alcohol: Nope
-- Smoke(d): Nevah
-- Done a drug: NEVAH
-- Have Sex: ...
-- Made Out: ...
-- Go on a date: ...
-- Go to the mall?: Yes! I bought 52nd Street. And it RUUUUUULES
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: Nope
-- Eaten sushi: I wish... /loves sushi
-- Been on stage: Several times :) Weeeeeeeeee!
-- Been dumped: Off of my bed, onto the floor.
-- Gone skating: Nope
-- Made homemade cookies: Nein
-- Been in love: Hahhahaa
-- Gone skinny dipping: YES! OF COURSE! I make it a habit of swimming naked in water where anyone could see me. Yech
-- Dyed your hair: Nope ;)
-- Stolen anything: I borrowed a Pen from my teacher... AND I NEVER RETURNED IT! /gasp
// series seven - have you ever
-- Played a game that required removal of clothing?: Nope
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Never.
-- Been caught "doing something": Hmmm. I've been caught doing lots of things. Now what exactly dost thou mean?
-- Been called a tease: Yep
-- Gotten beaten up: Nope
-- Shoplifted: HA
-- If so, did you get caught: Yes. I'm writing this from Jail
-- Changed who you were to fit in: HAHAHAH
// series eight - the future
-- Age you hope to be married: 23
-- Descibe your Dream Wedding: Close friends. CLose family. In an active Volcano
-- How do you want to die: MURDER! Not violent Murder.. something liek someone drops ARSENIC in my tera, and I DIE and its up to ALLA YOU to figure out WHODUNNIT. BEWARE IT WA STHE BUTLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLER
-- Where you want to go to college: N(ew) Y(ork) U(niversity)
-- What country would you most like to visit: England! Again! And then France
// series nine - opposite sex (or the same?)
-- Best eye color? Blue or Green
-- Best hair color? Blond
-- Short or long hair?: Long hair
-- Best Height?: Tall :)
-- Best weight: Skinny, please
-- Best articles of clothing: Whatever they like. and is comfortable on them. Or... NUFFIN AT ALL! MROW!
-- Best first date location: A nice sit down restaurant
-- Best first kiss location: Beach at Night.
// series ten - number of
-- Number of girls I've kissed in my life: NONE
-- Number of girls I've made out with: NONE
-- Number of boys I've kissed: NONE
-- Number of boys you have made out with: 27
-- Number of boyfriends I've had: 38
-- Number of people I've had sex with: 543
-- Number of drugs taken illegally: 678
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: 3 (and this ones real ;))
-- Number of CDs that I own: 25 or so
-- Number of piercings: NONE
-- Number of tattoos: None.
-- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: Hahahah. like 15-20. 3 times in the last half year alone.
-- Number of scars on my body: Too many. Leg operation
-- Number of things in my past that I regret: None, really...
current mood: Merf
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, November 3rd, 2002
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10:40 pm
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| Saturday, November 2nd, 2002
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5:26 pm
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RAVENLOFT IN 1 AND A HALF HOURS!!!!!!!!!
!Y!A!Y!
I'm so nervous I could puke though. I'm DMing for a bunch of people I've never DMed for before, two of which I don;t know.
NEROUSNESS HOPE I DO WELL ARG
I'm running the first real Chat Game I've run in about three months, and I'm going crazy. have I prepared enough? Are the players going to liek it? is it going to be a GOOD adventure or is it going to suck?
Will I succeed or fail. 1 and a 1/2 hours to go.
current mood:  nervous
current music: Captain jack
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, October 31st, 2002
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2:55 am
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| Tuesday, October 29th, 2002
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11:44 am
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I wanna see Movin' Out. I wanna see Movin' Out RIGHT NOW! NOW NOW NOW! Someone,buy me a ticket to New York and a ticket to Movin' Out. Please
/prostrates himself before the great voodoo goddess, that she might grant him tickets
"And if thats what you have in mind.... if thats what youre all about... Good luck Movin' Up cuz I'm...... MOVIN' OUT! I'm MOVIN' OUT!"
Apparently Pressure is one of the best musical numbers in the show. JOHN WANTS
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Sunday, October 27th, 2002
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1:00 am
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| Friday, October 25th, 2002
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11:54 pm
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Its nice ot believe that peace will be found in New York. Thats what Billy Joel tells me.
I know what i needed, and I don't want to waste more time, I'm in a New York State of Mind.
It tells me that everything will be okay when i go to NYC.
My mind knows its lying, but my soul wants to believe it so badly. So badly.
You don't find peace. No one does. Theres always a drive to accomplish that which you have not done, find those who were lost to you, or fit that last pice into the puzzle of happiness. And in the process, peace is lost.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Sunday, October 20th, 2002
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11:53 pm
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I was carrying bags of mulch at dusk for mother. I was carrying them to the sides of the house so that she could spread them on the ground so the dog would stop digging and hurting his eyes.
Anyway, as I was carrying these bags of mulch, I noticed these tiny tiny frogs that were jumping out of the grass in my path.
Heres the thing about thwese frogs: they could jump so fast that you literally couldn't see them move, it was almost like they teleported from posuition to position. However, while they moved exceptionally fast, the actual distance they traversed was small, so they moved fast but didn't move far, so it actually took them a long time to move. They were enchanting, beautiful to watch
Problem is, what with their sudden movements, you might place your foot down where there wasn't one a second ago, and it will be there, right ready for you to step on it.
I was mortified that I might actually step on one. I don't know why, but I was absolutely terrified that I would kill one of these beautiful ephemeral creatures. I walked so slowly, moved so softly that they would have time to run, so that I wouldn't hurt one. One actually jumped onto my foot for a second. it was slippery and wet, but pleasant in an odd way. It was there for a moment, but it was still a wonderful feeling.
This happened five hours ago, but its all still fresh in my mind. The dusk, the frogs, and the terror. I cared so much that I might actually hurt one of them.
current mood: Odd
current music: Wild Honey
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(comment on this)
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11:35 pm - Characters!
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This is my character for the 'Return to the Temple of Elemental Evil' PbP I'm in: A Paladin based off, of all things, Jack the Ripper
"People always ask me how I became a such a 'good'
man. How someone of my sick parentage could possibly
feel anything for others. 'Why, youre barely human
yourself, why do you help us.' They taunt me even as
they thank me. For little do they know the void that
fills me. The deep, echoing pain and hatred of my
fathers still runs in my veins. That is why I help.
Because if I do not, there will be others that suffer
similar pain, needlessly. And I cannot let that
happen."
Cur was born a little less than 15 years ago to a
whore, in the slums of a large city. The whore of
course had no way of knowing that the father had been
a polymorphed Tannar'ri, and, after all, why would a
powerful demon bed a women of ill repute? Regardless,
Cur was born with small curling horns, and a light
tint to his skin that spoke of his heritage. Any who
touched him remarked on his fever, for his blood
literally seemed to be boiling in his veins.He was
abandoned months after his birth, but his blood
endured. Feasting on rats and other small scraps on
the streets, the infant somehow survived. He grew
remarkably quickly, seeming almost 14 by the time he
was four. His knack for crude tactics and leadership
made him a natural for the streets. He became known as
'The Cur', and the name stuck. One brawl left the
sickly young boy wounded, near death, at a church in
the slums. The priest there was not actually a servant
of any god, but a student of medicine, and surgery. He
nursed the child back to health, and, in the process,
gave him a lingering respect for medicine. Here was an
art he could understand, a deep, intellectual study of
why the body works as it does. He stayed with the
'priest', and by the time he was ten he had become
well learned himself. When he left, he became
something of a Vigilante, roaming the city, defending
the weak and helpless. He didn't know why, he just
knew it must be done. The targets of his wrath were
petty thieves, murderers, and thugs. He was brutal
with those that would harm others, letting the
infernal rage of his heart bare against them. Some
thought that a vicious murderer was loose, one who
brutally killed and dismembered the bodies of his
victims. He also gained powers strange even to
himself, powers almost mystical and magical in nature,
he never really understood why.
Now, only a few years later, he has left the city, and
roams the countryside, punishing the wicked wherever
he finds them. he furthers his study of anatomy by
examining the corpses of his foes. Those who he helps
always thank him, and then grimace, leaving him
behind. He is now a quiet, sinister man. However, as
disturbing as he is, there is a magnetism in the air
around him. When the mood strikes him, he is polite,
diplomatic, and even charming. But he never, ever
smiles.
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(comment on this)
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| Friday, October 18th, 2002
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11:06 pm
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Ever been surrounded by a wealth of entertainment, but been bored out of your skull, unable to take advantage of it?
Play Computer games? Theyre all boring me, i've been trying
Read a Book? My book is coming in the mail any day now, the much awaited end to a trilogy. I don't want to have to WAIT to start reading that one if it arrives, becasue I happen to be reading something else.
Talk to people? For some reason the idea repulses me. Actually, and you'll all hate me for saying this, the only person I want to talk to is Charlie, and Jason's there.
Watch a Movie? I should, but I jkust don;t feel like it.
Listen to Music? Just about the only thing I can do, and, even then, its boring me.
current mood:  bored
current music: Spectacular, Spectacular
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(comment on this)
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10:20 pm - How Weird
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| Tuesday, October 15th, 2002
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10:37 am - Love is like Oxygen. Love is a many splendored thing! All you need is love!
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Its a little bit funny, this feeling inside
I'm not one of those who can easily hide
I don't have much money, but, boy if I did
I'd buy a big house where, we could live
If I was a sculptor... but then again, no
or a man who makes potions in a traveling show
I know its not much but its the best can do
My gift is my song and this ones for you
And you can tell everybody that this is Your Song
It may be quite simple but, now that its done
I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind
that I put down in words
How wonderful life is, now youre in the world
I sat on the roof and kicked off the moss
Well, some of these verses, theyve got me quite cross
But the sun's been quite kind while I wrote this song
Its for peole like you that keep me turned on
So excuse me forgetting, but these things I do
you see, I'd forgotten if theyre green or theyre blue
Anyway, the thing is, what I really mean
You have the most beautiful eyes, I've ever seen
and you can tell everybody that this is Your Song.
It may be quite simple but, now that its done
I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind
That I put down in words
How wonderful life is, now you're in the world
I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind
That I've put down in words...
How wonderful life is, now youre in the world.
That was from memory
current mood: Longing
current music: Your Song, inside my head
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(comment on this)
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2:16 am - Warning, spoilers throughout
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Relationships John wants:
Jack/Tyler(Fight Club) when theyre best friends, before project mayhem
Jack/Aliena(Pillars of the Earth) When they truly love each other. and F**&ING; ALFRED ISN'T IN THE WAY
Harry/Marian(requiem for a Dream) You know when
Main Character/Aerie(Baldurs gate II) Always and forever
Doc Holiday/Wyatt Earp(Tombstone) Up till Doc's dying day.
Steve/Jeannie(The Third Twin) Always and forever
Just the Way You Are(Billy Joel)
and finally,
Christian/Satine - Duke(Moulin Rouge) /cry
current music: And Iiiiiiiiiiiiii will always love you
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(comment on this)
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2:13 am
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The Greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return.
current music: I was made for lovin' you baby you were made for lovin' me
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Sunday, October 13th, 2002
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11:05 pm
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lonely