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User:

heathersmoo (52987)

SEND ME A KEYCHAIN!!!
*~All Hail The Great and Powerful Goddess of Smoo!~*

Name:

The Goddess of Smoo

Website:

Smoo Goddess Central

Location:

Orlando, Florida, United States

Birthdate:

1981-12-14

E-mail:

skwerlgerl

email.com

AOL IM:

heathersmoo (Add Buddy, Send Message)

Yahoo! ID:

heathersmoo (Add User, Send Message)

MSN Username:

heathersmoo

Bio:

In many circles, I am known as the mystic Goddess of Smoo, the Soccer Sex Kitten, the Queen of the Sarcasm Scene, or quite simply, "that bitch." But for the purposes of this journal, you can call me Heather. I was divinely placed in Plantation, FL on December 14, 1981, the only goddess of two mortal parents. I grew up in Coral Springs, FL but spent a great deal of my childhood in southeast Asia taming wild baboons. I had an extended vacation in the blink-and-you'll-miss-it town of Mansfield, TX where I amused myself with battling the forces of darkness brought on by psycho-freak cowboy people and fighting interstellar wars. At my earliest opportunity, I broke free of the bondage of a hick hell where the FFA was synonymous with the Persian Mafia and fled to Orlando, where everyone knows your name. After I sucked up more Disney magic than a insomniac with a box of wax fruit, I prepared to take by storm the one, the only, Florida State University, with massive scholarship dinero and a first class ticket to the delightfully roach-free Honors dorm. Shortly thereafter, you might recall my series of torrid love affairs that gained so much notoriety with the media. I fell randomly in and out of love with various hot and sexy athletes, which, while being optically pleasing, were, frankly, dumb as stumps. While I lived in said kick-ass dorm with all my home dawgs and inhaled the unwisely placed moola of Florida's gambling community, I studied biological science and organic chemistry by day and enjoy semi-erotic dreams of Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter, and Marvin the Martian by night. For fun, I highlight passage after passage in my copy of Machiavelli's Greatest Hits. Additionally, I often contemplate, with every fiber of my being, the many sweet benefits of my insanity and manipulative brilliance. I have but two goals in my life. First, I embark on The Most Noble of All Quests For The Slightly Off-Kilter: tracking down only the most elusive of keychains for my collection, seven hundred strong. Second, I plot, with much relish and a bit of mustard, my hostile takeovers of various countries across many corners of the globe as I strive for world domination. I hold, in the deepest reaches of my black and viscous cardiac muscle, a vision, a vision sweeter than the fleas of a thousand camels infesting the armpits of my foes, of all the citizens of this planet (that is screaming out for my not so benevolent leadership even now) bowing at my feet and chanting my name in unison- provided that this chanting will not be followed by pelting with rotten vegetables. In the unlikely event that this doesn't happen (or of a water landing) I suppose I will waste away my many immortal years playing with dangerous, toxic, carcinogenic chemicals that explode and go BOOM! or listening to the gentle croonings of Spineshank and other death metal bands while I update my journals, both live and dead, using my favorite literary device: sarcasm.

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	heathersmoo User Number: 52987 Date Created:2-5-01 Number of Posts: 318
Although she appears to be sweet and innocent, the Goddess of Smoo is actually quite the evil genius! A real harbinger of ultimate destruction, the Goddess of Smoo can really wreck massive carnage upon yo mama when it strikes her fancy!
Strengths: Sarcasm, manipulative brilliance, mad bio knowledge
Weaknesses: Cynical, jaded, general nefariousness
Special Skills: Voice-activated tongue lashings, guarenteed victory in any ground, aerial or interstellar battle, real kung-fu action!
Weapons: Rusty scapels, soccer cleats, lights... lots and lots of pretty sparkley lights
Quote: Mother Nature may have intended for me to be nothing more than a receptacle for male gametes but I've got other plans.