tales told those who listen when she spoke you could ask...? ... a small light in the darkness backward backward
[ all we ever wanted was everything ]
... all we ever got was cold.
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Tonight/Tomorrow
Tonight: I feel a bit more at peace.

Tomorrow [well, in the morning]: I'll be at Coyote all damn day, and BORED. B O R E D.
Phone calls cheerfully accepted, on the cell.
Emails and posts to chuckle or smile at before I go to work, awesome.
Anything else you wanna do, you're going to have to come up with on your own. *grin*

I'm much tired-er than usual.

Current Mood: tired

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Check it out, SubShock at 10p EST!
You had a break from me last week, you lucky souls, but I'm back from Shippensburg PA and ready to make you dance in your dark little rooms. I know you're shaking in anticipation.
Expect to hear new music from The Horrorpops, Dresden Dolls, selections from Diva x Machina IV, and lots of other bone-chilling tunes. Yeah.

I'll stop talking like a bad late-night horror show host and just give you the poop:
http://wnrn.rlc.net is the place to listen in online.
91.9/89.9/88.1 is where you listen in on your radio.
10p - 12m EST is when you tune in.
979-0919 or toll free at 877 967 6762 is how you call to make requests!

You can also text me requests at 434 242 0828. You have *no* excuse not to make a request!

Talk to you then, on the airwaves!

Current Mood: bouncy
Current Music: New Rock Now on NRN

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Hmm, morning.
You know how sometimes you wake up and you're bouncy, and happy to be alive, and ready to take on the world?

Ha. That's not me, today. Not enough sleep, feeling a bit wobbly. Trying to center myself, because I'm a bit snappish and I don't like that. I need to learn some impulse control, too. I flew off a bit last night, when I probably should have waited and talked calmly and rationally. I apologise for being so unbridled.

There's a lot of uncertainty in my life right now, a lot of things hanging over my head, and I think they're affecting my judgement adversely. The only one who can change that is me, I know. The rest of this month seems to be dedicated to making important decisions and changes. Would you please try to keep that in mind when talking to me, especially if I seem weird? I'd be endlessly grateful.

In just a little while I'll be taking a stroll downtown with [info]briskpepper - it looks lovely outside. Seeing as I never go out to enjoy daylight, this should be interesting. Hope everyone is well and happy...

Current Mood: discontent
Current Music: something that [info]briskpepper is sequencing

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Trying something new. Want to play?
At Coyote [where I work, for those of you who somehow don't know], we get in all sorts of things for consignment sale. Recently, we got a huge bag of books, and I've been ransacking volumes to cure my hours of customer-less boredom while on the job.
Today I found a small volume that seems perfect for some diversion in my journal. It's called The Book Of Questions, by Gregory Stock, Ph.D. The basic premise of the book is that it asks situational questions of the reader, and your job is to truthfully assess your answers, and possibly start discussions with the questions amongst your friends. There are questions concerning integrity, sex, morals, and personal choices.
I thought bringing some of these questions to my journal for discussion or analyzing by my friends might be interesting. If it appeals to you, please feel free to *truthfully* respond. If you feel uncomfortable with your answers, maybe you might discuss privately in your journal...?
I like self-analyzing.

Some of the questions are dated - the book came out in the late 80's - and some of them won't have much impact on most of my friends. But some of them might give you food for thought. Maybe.

Today's question :

If your friends and aquaintances were willing to bluntly and honestly tell you what they really thought of you, would you want them to?

Add to that at will, for more discussion fodder -
Do you think your friends would agree with one other about the kind of person you are? How much energy do you spend doing things to favourably impress other people? If you were completely unconcerned about what others would think, what sorts of things might you do? How do you feel when you people like you because they think you are someone that you're not?

I'll answer my own questions in a reply.

Current Mood: thoughtful
Current Music: Terminal Ready.

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Check it out, I missed the bus AGAIN.

I hate the Cville public transit system. Please stupid undeified forces, let me get my hearse here SOON.

Current Mood: annoyed

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That's the name of the game!
Things of note:

Visits to my job by my friends, for the purposes of staving off my boredom... make me love my friends sooo much. I might have died of ennui without the random people coming to see me today.

Phone calls from someone I adore, when I least expect it... make me feel special and cared for.

Getting nifty news in the same day that I finally get a fix on something related that's been bothering me... makes me feel like I'm once again on the top of the world.

Checking off many of the chores that I set myself for the day... makes me feel like I'm finally coming to life again.

Successfully shaking off impending depression crash... makes me feel like I can do anything.

I am reeling from a sudden wave of badassitude. I'm sure it will eventually give way to more even emotions, but for now, I'm gonna revel in it, and smile incessantly until that happens. Wooo!

Current Mood: happy

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Home.
Tired. Had some fun. Greyhound is the devil, and not for the reasons you'd think. Why the hell can't you buy bottled water easily in their terminals? Good god.
I'll post more once I get myself together and come alive.
Missed you guys while I was gone.
Miss [info]inefficiency now.
One of these days, I'll manage to have everyone I care about in the same place at the same time. And then I'll probably implode from happiness or something.
Speaking of implosion... if I don't shower soon, I might die.
I have coffee, though, so all is right with the world.

I need a haircut. Well, a trim. Maybe I'll do that today.

Current Mood: Ugh.

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Tomorrow @ three
I hop on a bus to make the long-ass way home. I suppose you've all behaved yourselves while I was gone... except [info]nothingoth, of course, who had a birthday, and [info]briskpepper, who I know got drunk and possibly disorderly. Beatings will commence upon my return, for all who deserve 'em.

I've slept more than you could possibly imagine. I did a DJ guest spot on [info]inefficiency's radio show on WSYC [88.7 FM], here in Shippensburg. Any other details, you'll have to weasel from me personally, or wait until I get home to post about. That's the fact, jack.

I got rained on a lot yesterday, and my hair is unresonably curly now. Go on, you know you want to laugh at me. Maybe I'll just go ahead and go back to sleep, serves you right. O_o

Current Mood: relaxed

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DC Terminal boredom.
So here I sit @ the bus terminal. 3 more hours until my next bus. *sigh* Booored.
This message originated by a SunCom wireless phone, and delivered via SunCom iNotes service.
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Gone.
I'm walking out the door in just a few minutes, and I won't be back home until next Wednesday. Sooo... if you really need me, my cell phone will be on, but I'll probably only be answering some of the time. I seem to be able to get texts while I'm in PA, but not necessarily send them. Jos and Chad got 'em last time - I have no idea why no one else could, it is one of those mysteries of cell phone service.
I'll be checking in when I can, but suffice it to say: if you need me desperately, LJ's not the place to find me right now. I'll miss you guys. Leave me lots of nice messages so I feel loved...?

Current Mood: busy

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Soon-To-Be Incommunicado.
So much to do today. Soooo much. And yet... not nearly so much that it should trouble me.

* packing
* quick errands
* Tranny meeting
* laundry
* bank

Yeah. See, not so bad. I think there's a visit to the book store and lunch in there. Dinner's implied with the Tranny meet, as I'm fairly sure we're all meeting at Rapture this time.

If you haven't gathered the news, I'll be out of town from tomorrow [that's Weds, folks] until next Weds. I get back at some ridiculous hour on Wednesday morning. Greyhound's not known for their fast travel schedules. I'll be back at Coyote on Thursday morning [and I get to work three days in a row, all day. Woo.] so you can find me there if you like. I won't be getting much chance to touch my email/LJ. I'll try to give occasional updates as I can get to a machine.

I need to go get ready and do this crap, and then I'll be back around tonight, for chatting and catching up-ness before I leave. Woo.

I am so not awake yet.

Current Mood: tired

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Hi, I'm @ work.
Slowest day ever. Rain + Monday = slooowww.
This message originated by a SunCom wireless phone, and delivered via SunCom iNotes service.
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Subculture Shock, baby.
You know the drill. http://wnrn.rlc.net is the place to tune in, from 10p - 12 m EST, to hear the best in brand new and old school gothic, darkwave, and deathrock!

I take requests, at 979 0919 or toll-free at 877 967 6762, and I'll also take texts on my cell phone - 434 242 0828. You can call, but I might not be able to answer if I'm on the air.

I'm also covering Download for the last time before the return of DJ AudioRapture, it seems, so please please give me a call! :)







ps - [info]biorozzlyn, I'm sorry I haven't called yet - nothing's worked out tonight the way I expected, but I'll give you the update if you're around later on tonight. O_o

Current Mood: excited

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Hey! Check it out! Notoriety!
[info]mickmercer gave mention to this journal, [info]nothingoth, and [info]ladytatiana, all on his own LJ. Thanks, Mick! I dunno what I'm doing that's entertaining, but I'll be sure to keep up whatever it is... um.. if I can.

I have some DJ gigs to announce soonish, as soon as I get some confirmations [Jaide, this one's for you! Yay!] and type it up with my lazy little fingers.

Speaking of fingers.. um.. not really, but anyone want to make music with this former SwirlyGoth singer? *








* I assert that I am the place where the term "swirlygoth" originated. I started using it for The Violet Dawning pretty much as soon as we started writing material, I can't find it documented from anywhere earlier than that.

This is all, carry on. I am obviously off to sleep, finally.

Current Mood: amused

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Sometimes I need the wind to turn chill, like it has this evening. The cold tendrils creep in, insinuating themselves amongst the warm currents, so that when I least expect it, that's when I'll discover the draft.
Those drafts appear in my life, too. Small surprises, little alerts that signal me to pay attention, don't get too comfortable yet; summer is not yet here.

Current Mood: cold

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grey-blue skies
herald that moment
when everything changes
the day begins again
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Neubauten!
I'm @ the show, band goes on soon! Who's an addict to LJ? ME!
This message originated by a SunCom wireless phone, and delivered via SunCom iNotes service.
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Life on other planets is difficult!
Tonight: Einsturzende Neubauten. [info]nothingoth and I are supposed to venture downtown around 1500-ish to meet up with [info]solieri, once he escapes work. From there, we wisk away to DC and then to the 9:30 Club. Doors open at 2100, and we should probably get home by 0300, I figure. A nice round 12 hours of absence. We might get home earlier; I'm told there's no opening band. Who knows?

I had dreams laden with odd images, including some weird stuff about DanceDanceRevolution that I somehow blame [info]inefficiency for. Nothing's particularly clear enough to recount properly, but it was surreal at best, let me tell you. O_o

Yesterday: I was captured by [info]nothingoth and [info]javafiend and taken to the Surplus Store, although it was barely deserving that title. Mostly geared towards paintballers, the majority of offerings were new, and often in unpleasing colours that would never seen service because they aren't really practical. You know, all I wanted was a black BDU jacket... and they only had them in navy and brown. BROWN? WTF. Ugh. The Chad did snag some BDU shorts, and I looked listlessly at the BDU pants, which I'm not allowed to buy for anyone in this household until we all stop losing weight. I miss the old days of Sunny's Surplus, or even better, the old "Camping Supplies" store on Eutaw St in Bmore, with the cavernous basement of cool bins. You could find the coolest shit there, and I bought all my boots and backpacks from them. If anyone needs ammo boxes for purses, this "surplus" place has 'em cheap. Let me know.

I need to get dressed. I am a slovenly, slothlike creature this morning! I was supposed to wake at 1200, but I dozed until 1230 anyway, despite my self-insistence that I wake. Tomorrow I work all day, but I suspect that I'll be just staying awake all night to do it. Then again, who knows what will conspire? I sure don't. I'm just along for the crazy ride!

Merf. If you're going to the show, see you tonight! If not, I hope you have a lovely Friday!

Current Mood: chipper
Current Music: De/Vision [get over the wall] in my head

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I see a lot of sunrises, these days.
...And then something, small yet vital, will be said or done to make the whole world right again.



One hundred questions, asked. I peer in much more than I look out. I don't trust myself.
I am *very* tired, now. Self-examination is exhausting.

This shade of blue, colouring all the world in a soft wash, makes me want to wrap up in a blanket and sit on the porch, basking in it. I am soothed, lulled, relaxed. The birds say "wake!" yet my mind whispers "...sleep..."

I do believe my brain wins.

These are the moments that a song like "Redemption" was written for. I shall sing it and then I shall go to sleep.

Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: squawk. cheep. chirp.

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I *should* be asleep.

I'm not.

Why does this even surprise me anymore?
who is xiane?
You pronounce it "Zye-ann"
User: [info]xiane
Name: You pronounce it "Zye-ann"
xiane overview
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[ a key, a secret, a way inside the circle ]