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Wednesday, November 1st, 2000
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10:51 pm - Been a while...
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Figured I should post something, not that I really have much to report. I am going to spare everyone the sordid details of my immense failures as a single woman. In other words..no luck getting a date. Okay, let me clarify. A date with a SINGLE man. I go on plenty of 'dates' as in I hang out with friends. The friends that all have girlfriends. Not that I'm looking to get into some heavy relationship thing. I'll stop here, explaining it takes too long.
My job ends in a week :/ The person I am filling in for returns on the 9th. However, people keep coming up and congratulating me on coming back in Feb..I have NO paperwork yet. Till I have a contract I aint celebrating. I hope it happens.
Hmm..other than that, and my parents still having trouble, I'm just muddling through life for the most part. Hanging out with friends, trying to stay 'busy' though I'm not really getting much accomplished..it's mostly keeping myself around people I like so I don't have to deal with how lonely I feel sometimes. It works for the most part :>
current mood:  disappointed
current music: Sarah McLachlan - Do What You Have To Do
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| Tuesday, October 10th, 2000
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2:17 am
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Well..my mother left this evening. As in..took my car and went to check herself into a hotel. Apparently..my dad flew off the handle at something real insignificant and stormed out of the house for a while.
This is the climax to a long few months of the steady decline of their marriage. I've not seen them this much at odds since I was 12. *sigh* Mom won't even tell me where she is..so I won't have to lie to my dad, she doesn't want him to know where she is.
It sucks..basically..say a prayer or seven for them.
current mood:  discontent
current music: Sting - 01 - Mad About You - Original Remix
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| Monday, October 9th, 2000
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12:24 am
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It's been a bloody LONG week! Been fighting a cold since about Thursday..it kicked my ass yesterday and today. However, my shows have been GREAT! Still no real progress on the Chris front, something inside me just says to be patient, not to write it all off yet, even though part of me wants to.
ANYway..got some new stuff in the show, new 3 ball trick, new version of the end of the 3 ball routine, new devil stick trick, new diabolo trick. Haven't done the diabolo one in a while, should try it tomorrow so I don't totally lose the groove.
Other than that, been spending butt loads of time with my friend Keith..he's pretty awesome :> Hell, all my friends are, but Keith's in his own little category, and taken :> Before all you naughty minded ones out there think up hanky panky :P
Hmmm..that's about it really.
current mood:  exhausted
current music: Don Henley - Taking You Home
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| Sunday, October 1st, 2000
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12:38 am
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Okay guys, help me out here. What makes a woman attractive to you? How does a woman get the point across that she's interested in an effective way? What sort of things do you do/say to blow a girl off? HELP! I feel lost, confused, VERY out of practice. Then again..I'm a 27 formerly separated now widowed woman...guess that turns men off. Funny..cause I'm likable enough to all the men who already HAVE girlfriends.
Le sigh..
current mood:  confused
current music: None..gonna play a game maybe.
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| Saturday, September 30th, 2000
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3:45 am
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Well..another week has passed, still no getting together with Chris. The man is busy, and I keep trying to tell myself that is why we're not connecting. I truly hope it's just differing schedules and lack of sleep and not that I am getting the big, fat blow off.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE all my friends. Dwayne, Jason, Keith..they are all a godsend and I love hanging out with them. But ALL my friends that I regularly hang out with...are taken, spoken for, off the market. YES, this DOES make a difference, to me at least. Just once, I would like to have someone to hang out with who was also single. I should clarify that a little more..single and perhaps possibly interested or at least someone I shared that ol' groove with.
Keith was asking me to explain the groove, the spark thing. I failed miserably. Attraction, I guess..but not sexual..though that often is there. The kind of attraction where..were circumstances different, you could easily see yourself romantically involved with that person. Does that make any sense? Probably not..it's hard to explain.
I find myself in an odd position. I think I REALLY like Chris. I am most definitely attracted to him..in many ways. I think he's very nice, talented as all hell, fun to talk to and be around (when we're not tripping over misunderstood things) he's definitely CUTE! I mean cute in a good way (pokepoke Matt) Do I now need to interpret what *I* mean by cute? ;> It's strange, cause I've not had to really worry about feeling this way towards anyone for..well..four years. I was married..so it didn't matter.
Now..I have found someone I really like, so it frustrates me to constantly wonder if he likes me or is blowing me off or what have you. I think I just need to learn a little patience. I mean..I'm pretty sure he likes me, we DO sit around the dressing room and chat rather easily, there is a little flirtation that goes on here and there..I just really hope it's genuine.
current mood:  frustrated
current music: None..going to bed soon
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| Monday, September 25th, 2000
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1:07 am
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Hmm..I've not input anything here recently. Perhaps it's time I should? Maybe taking a look at my last post might be a good thing, too, since I can then know what all I've not mentioned here.
Ah, okay, up to date now. Speaking of dates, the DATE never happened :< Went to Mandalay Bay on Monday (last week) and hung out with Chris. GOD he's nice *sigh* Anyhow..he was SO very very very tired. He works a 'normal job' for ten hours everyday, from 8am till 6 PM. Then..he had picked up a LOT of trumpet playing gigs with the Salsa band..several extra nights, meaning he would play from about 8 or 9 at night till 1 or 2 in the morning..then have to race home, grab what sleep he could..then get up for the day job again. Several days of this gets old, FAST! I was bummed, but understood. This week, he's VERY busy again :< We're just not connecting yet..it's a matter of getting to the point where we both say 'Okay, time to MAKE a way to see each other'.
I realize he works a LOT, however..all work and NO play, sucks. Theres's time in there somewhere, and while I whined the other night about giving up and stuff (damn hormonal weeping night) I'm not giving up this easily. I really think Chris is a NICE guy! We seem to get along well when we see each other at work and stuff. I would like to TRY seeing him, at least a little, outside of work. Oh yeah, he's cute, too ;>
Other than that..been working..hurt my back again which SUCKS. It kinda comes and goes. If I am on my feet for extended periods, then it REALLY hurts. Oh yeah! I finally got together with Keith again. He's a pretty cool guy. After getting hooked up through ICQ thanks to Andrew..we started chatting and found out we've got shit in common. He cracks me up. Fun guy to hang with and now he has a 'safe' chick he can hang out with if he ever wants. He and his friend, Greg, came to see my show last night..missed it...then we went out to a movie. Saw 'Bait' Half decent flick, but the tried stretching it out too much.
Keith and Greg came again tonight, actually got to SEE the show. Keith gave me shit about it being too short, all in good fun..Greg was drunk, so who knows what he thought :>
current mood:  chipper
current music: Sarah Mclachlan - Possession
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| Friday, September 15th, 2000
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11:58 pm
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If I had any more energy, I think I would just pop. I have been BOUNCING off the fucking walls lately!!!!! Today was especially bad for some reason. Ever since...well, Monday-ish. Monday is the night I went to see my friend, Chris, play with his Salsa band.
Incidentally..get this everyone....
I HAVE A DATE!!!!!! :> Yes, me..lil' ol' me has a date! I chickened out three times over the course of the night, in asking Chris. After I did my last show..Tony, another guy I work with, said Chris made it a point to ask him to tell me goodnight and to have a nice weekend. So I came home and called Chris up. We work pretty opposite schedules, but hey :> We can make time. He asked if I was gonna come again on Monday night, said he needed someone to keep him company, I think I definitely will!
Now, for the rest of my night. Doing my first show upstairs on the main stage, and just as I go and make my first pass across the stage and start back..I see some DORK walking across the front aisle. This being the aisle right in front of the front row of seats, between it and the stage. I then realize, it's one of the guys who does the hair wrapping. HE WORKS THERE! And he WAVED!!!!! Real big, rude and obnoxious like. Oh I was furious. He KNOWS better, or should. He's also been kinda asking me if I was dating anyone, yadda..commenting how great I look in my black work pants. He's a DORK!! Anyhow..I talked to him about it, politely even. Grrrrrrr
current mood:  hyper
current music: King Missile - Detachable Penis
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| Wednesday, September 13th, 2000
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11:10 pm
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Oh I am SASSY today! Had my hair cut yesterday, AWESOME, as usual..actually, it came out even nicer than usual. Colored it today, it was getting sorta dull and brassy. It just KICKS ass. I was just real perky and sassy at work tonight!! Nice to feel like myself again :> Just thought I would share..
current mood: sassy
current music: None, crickets are chirping away
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| Tuesday, September 12th, 2000
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11:53 pm
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Well..thought it was time I updated my journal. This week has been...MUCH better. I feel quite relieved, putting Jim's ashes to rest and getting closure helped. I'm so good it should be illegal :>
Last night..I went out to a lounge at Mandalay Bay here. A friend I work with mentioned he worked with a Salsa band there on Mondays..said I should come by..so I did. Took a lot of debating to make myself go, alone (I hate going places alone for the most part) but I am SO glad I did! I had a blast listening to them play, watching people dance and getting to chat with Chris between sets. Was a much needed change of pace from my usual 'go home..stare at my puter screen'.
Things are decent at home..some potential crap revolving around my brother and sister in-law. Heard from my mother in-law that they are perhaps starting to blame me for Jim's death. BULLSHIT! I will not accept that kinda crap from ANYONE, least of all family who I opened my home to and stuff. *sigh* People suck sometimes.
I am just glad to be back on track. Everyone at work says I LOOK better than I had, I certainly feel better. Heh..I've even started to *GASP* notice men again! Scary thought, eh?
current mood:  hopeful
current music: Goo Goo Dolls - Iris
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| Thursday, September 7th, 2000
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1:33 am
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The funeral was yesterday. The day started off with my getting only about 2 hours of sleep. I finally gave up and got out of bed around 8am. It was fine..then I realized that Fred and Anita, Jim's brother and his wife..were leaving right from Barstow. Meaning..Bettie, his mom..would need driven back here. Original plan was for me to ride with my friend, Dave, in his truck..mom and Koma in her vette. My car CANNOT make the trip. Anyway..after a near breakdown on my part..I was SO tired...mom found a place I could get a rental car. Got that..got on the road..almost an hour late. We finally got out to the base...briefly met and hugged Jim's dad, then we all headed to the Chapel.
From the Chapel, we loaded into vans and started driving. An hour or so later, we got out and into Kevlar helmets, loaded into Hummvs. YEEEEEEHA! Four wheelin' in military hummers just KICKS ASS! I had been out once before, with Jim..but it was about 2 years ago. We rounded a corner out near the Wadi, the place he wanted put to rest..and there were two rows of hummvs there. The WHOLE Scorpion team came out. It was wonderful. Then we got to trek into the Wadi itself. Chairs had been set up and everything..and as we were driving in..a chopper was flying overhead. The COG..or commanding general of the post, came out for the service. He apparently had served with Jim either in Germany or in the Gulf War.
There were two chaplains there, and they were wonderful. Jim's good friend, Bruce, gave the eulogy, which made us all laugh and cry all at the same time. OH..an interesting bit. While we were getting into the hummvs..my mom looked over and noticed a bird sitting on a tie-down wire on one of the vehicles. It was perched right beside Harry, Jim's dad. The bird just sat there, not flying away or getting startled at all, even with all the commotion. Mom said 'It's Jim, it's Jim' then promptly started to blubber. Afterward..my friend Dave, who was a good friend of Jim's too..said even the way the bird was perched looked like Jim..belly stuck out and stuff.
The service was great, emotional but wonderful. The entire team filed by after, offering condolences and blessings. I got many many hugs from some wonderfully sincere people. Jim's two best friends from out there were there, of course. Bruce and Larry. Larry's wife also came. Larry, Sandra, Jim and I used to hang out a lot. They lived on the Marine base with Jim and I..so we would go hang out at their place and play Hero's Quest, shoot the breeze and stuff. It was just a wonderful day. Fred played taps, on Jim's trumpet even..and he did a fine job of it.
After that..the family, Chaplains and Bruce all went a little farther into the Wadi. The Wadi is one place in the desert that is sacred and special to the Scorpion team. There are petroglyphs on the rocks and it's really just beautiful. Fred, Jim's brother, scattered the ashes and Jim's presence became SO strong! There was also a tangible sense of joy and peace, even Bettie and Dave, who stayed where the memorial had happened..felt it. The ashes went up in a swirling cloud, it surrounded us all, then blew down the Wadi corridor. I think we all got at least a little lungful of his ashes, which I find wonderful. It was...well it felt all right afterward. We trekked back out to the vehicles, and Dave and I took the REAL ride back to base :> Hummer rides all the way for us! Who needs air conditioning!!!!!! I had one HELL of a headache from the kevlar by the time we got back, but what a ride! I had forgotten how beautiful it is out there. I remember now, why Jim loved it so much.
I should explain a little. Jim was a tanker. He had been in the army for 14 years..originally part of the 1st Cavalry division, based out of Fort Hood, Texas. Fort Irwin, out near Barstow California, is an army national training center. Jim was stationed there for three years. He was an OC, or an observer controller. His job, as part of the Scorpion team, (there are 9 or so teams altogether, plus an entire Opposing Force..or the Op For.) anyhow..his job was to observe the units who would come out to train against the Op for. They would do a rotation every 2 weeks, for 2 weeks. He loved it. The desert and the Scorpions were a great love in Jim's life. Apparently..they had been planning a full military honors funeral..but his friends, Larry and Bruce, put the brakes on that. What went on was perfect. His team and his family.
I don't believe his spirit is perfectly at peace yet, but yesterday, primarily where he was put to rest and his father being there, went a LONG way to aiding in that. There are plenty of loved ones who have gone before Jim, that can help him find his way home. His sister, my grandmothers, great grandparents and my dear Uncle. The rest of us are healing..slowly. I slept for the first time in about a week and a half. I was in bed for almost 14 hours. I miss him..and I always will, but good can and will come from this. Some has already. I believe Jim truly was at peace with the decision he made, and while it angers and saddens those of us left behind..there are reasons. In a way..it was an attempt to reunite his family that he never could do in this life. God has reasons..and I trust in him to show us all the paths we are to take.
Jim..wherever you are..I love you. I will deeply miss you and never forget the impact you made on my life. I am sorry you and I could never make peace before you left, but in time..we'll find a way. The world is a lot less silly and fun now, you were the perfect poster boy for class clowns everywhere. A true master of mirth and joy, springing from a heart and soul full of more pain than anyone can ever truly comprehend. May the angels that are all around keep an eye on you and help guide you home.
current mood:  calm
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| Tuesday, September 5th, 2000
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1:08 am
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Well..the in laws all came this evening. We leave in the morning, around 9am, for the funeral. I'm ready..ready for at least a LITTLE closure. My letter from Jim was..less than helpful really, at least in my mind. I just hope I can SLEEP after all this. I've not been sleeping much at all and it is REALLY starting to catch up with me. *sigh* My shows have been steadily becoming more and more shitty, it's pissing me off. It's just cause I am SO tired. I really should be in bed NOW, but..as usual, I am NOT TIRED!!!! *WHINE* I'll post more after the funeral and all..
current mood: exhausted
current music: None..but considering some..
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| Wednesday, August 30th, 2000
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3:57 am
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Tears are falling from the sky today
Heaven is sad, you see
Someone has passed to the other side
A heart and soul that was weary and pained
He lost his love, his fire, his hope
The pain was found too great to endure
So he ended his walk through this life
Taking himself to where he hoped to be free at last
But Heaven is sad for his loss, sad for those he leaves in pain
So Heaven pours out her grief on the earth he left
Heaven tries to wash we, who remain.
We love you Jim and you are deeply missed.
current mood:  drained
current music: None..crickets outside the window.
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3:35 am
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Today was, interesting to say the least. My parents are fighting again, and frankly, I just don't give a rats ass. I am so drained and fucked up as it is, I am tired of their fights. I went and spent a good five hours with my friend, Dave. He's a good, dear friend of mine, and was close to Jim as well. He opened the letter/package with me, read it before I did and stuff.
I should preface this with a few things. Several days ago I had an..event. I don't know if it was a dream or something that occured to me, the full facts of it are real hazy and escape me. But I seem to recall having the thought that I would get a call that Jim killed himself. I also recall dismissing such a thing. Then the call came, as we all know. I believe this happened right around the 23'd or so..in the right time frame. When I was talking to my cousin today, she related something to me that hadn't occured to her till recently. My even didn't spring into my memory till after I got the call and in fact..I think it was the next day.
Now..to what Kel said. Grandmother (The woman who raised Kel's father) told her once that whenever someone dies, a flower blooms out of season. Apparently, in Kelly and Sam's new house's yard..they and Jim had planted a ground cover that only blooms in the spring. Kelly said that last week, I believe in the right time frame as well..a single one of the 21 plants bloomed a flower. One flower, near the window, in view.
So..Dave and I open the first envelope. I had a feeling it was my Chicago CD. Jim loved it, but I had asked for it back because it was a gift from a very dear friend when I was in High School. The CD was there, along with keys to my car, the house here, his apartment..the PO box and storage room. There was also a length of black cord that had a set of charms on it. The charms are ones I had bought when we got married. I had one on my mirror in my car, he had a set as well. THey were a boy and girl, each with respective birth stone colors. Jim had tied his wedding ring on the chord as well. Now..here's the ODD part. As soon as I touched the male one with his birthstone colors..the fucking head separated from the body. It was NOT bent and was attached through all my tugging it out of the padded envelope. My friend Dave and I looked at each other and sorta turned a wee pale.
The letter was..well..very sad. Jim basically blames himself for..EVERYTHING. Mostly, he blames himself for his sister's death. She drowned in 1972. The family had been camping, and Jim wanted to explore a creek. They did..and ended up getting stuck in some VERY strong current. Suffice it to say that while he and his older brother tried to go for help..his sister lost her footing and grip on the younger brother, and was carried away, I believe over a falls. I guess their dad always blamed all of them for Rayeva's death. Jim said in the letter that it was his fault cause he wanted to explore the creek. He also said he saw no other way.
It just saddens me so much. More strange coincidences...yes, I've got a million.
Jim's sister died when she was ten...Jim died when his daughter was ten, and during the same month his sister died in '72.
current mood:  pensive
current music: None..TV is on
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| Tuesday, August 29th, 2000
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2:00 pm
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Heaven is sad today. It's been raining a LOT lately. As I think about it..it's been doing it more and more since about the 22nd, the day Jim ended his life. Heaven is definately sad..as it should be. I want to believe the best, that he is finally happy and free, but my belief won't allow that. Suicide is not a release, it's an escape, but just from living turmoil. I hope someday his spirit can find peace and rest, and mercy from God, but for now..I know he's getting no rest and no peace. I haven't felt him around, and that's odd. Everyone I have ever lost that was close to me, their spirit has come to me. I'm rather glad, as I don't need any negative energy right now. I've felt others around me a lot lately..grandmothers, great grandpa..uncle Dave. It's comforting.
current mood: discontent
current music: None..just the hum of the CPU fan
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| Monday, August 28th, 2000
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3:55 am
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WHY is it, that people seem to think making jokes about people dying or killing themselves is comforting to someone that just had someone close to them commit suicide? If I hear ONE more suicide/death joke, I might just blow a gasket. *sigh* Jerry, the man who plays Merlin at work..I finally told him what happened, because I sort of felt I needed to. He was laying a guilt trip on me, or trying to, about how I've not been talking to him much, etc. I just didn't WANT to share this with him. I like him but I don't feel he needed to be a part of this. His..remedy..was to make several jokes about someone offing themself and or someone dying. I found it a bit sickening and tasteless. My friend Matthew did it tonight as well. *SIGH*
Had a better day..compared to yesterday, but that part was kinda icky. There were other icky parts too..but I'd rather not go into them. I did get to see Joel for a bit today, got one unsolicited hug from him..MAN did I ever hold on a while, and tightly. I find myself much more clingy lately. I initiate hugs a lot..make contact with people a lot more. Guess I am just needing and wanting that physical comfort and interaction. Did good shows, my arms were less than coperative, but that's cause I've not been sleeping all that well, and I had two days of a pretty heavy show schedule due to covering shows for people that called in sick. It was nice to do shows :>
current mood: Better, but annoyed a little
current music: None..the silence is nice for now.
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| Sunday, August 27th, 2000
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2:11 am
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Today was...I'm not sure if it was better or worse really :/ Today I was very very very sad. I also hurt a lot. Went to work, because I need to do that. I need to keep doing my rituals, getting ready, doing shows, being active. Mostly I just need to be AT work, that's where a LOT of people who love me are. I just get bombarded with love and hugs and stuff when I go to work, it's an incredible source of comfort. I cried a lot today, several times over the course of the night at work. Wore very little makeup really..sorta just marked my way through the shows for the most part. Just wasn't 100% into doing them, but I needed to DO them.
Have spent time talking to people, talked to my cousin, my aunt, several dear friends. Am going out to see a movie after work tomorrow night, Bless The Child, with my friend Matthew. Wanted to call Dwayne and have him come over, just to hang..maybe swim, sit in the jacuzzi, just hang. It just never happened tonight, maybe tomorrow. I told Joel about Jim today..also asked him if he would be there when I finally DO get and decide to open the letter. Asked Joel if he'd sorta read it before I do..just incase there's something..I dunno.
I'm not sure how things are gonna go. I don't know what needs doing, need to talk to the coroner..need to talk to Fred, Jim's brother, need to talk to his mom. Not sure what sort of state he left things in..sort of afraid to find out. My thanks to all the good thoughts and prayers people have sent my way. I'm in a funk..one that's gonna hang about for a good while I think. Just know I appreciate the love and support, more than I can manage to say at the moment.
current mood: In a major funk
current music: Mozart ~ Requiem
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| Saturday, August 26th, 2000
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4:03 am
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Well..gee..what else can I say. This has been a most hellacious day. I don;t think anyone wants to get a call from their husband's brother, telling her that he has killed himself. I..well I don't know what to think or feel..or even what I do think or feel. I'm stunned beyond belief at this moment in time. I don't know what to do..or even what I am supposed to do. I certainly never expected to end up a widow at 27, very unsettling. I have memorial arrangements to see to..burial..getting all his things in order since I don't think they are.
It's so tragic..I mean..*sigh* I don't get it, I'm so upset...very saddened, and angry. He was a wonderful, smart, talented, if not odd, man. He was someone I spent nearly four years of my life with. We shared a life of our own. We had a wonderful marriage for nearly all of the time. Sadly..he began to spiral down and couldn't get out. Those around can only help so much. There comes a time when a person has to take responsibility and action for themself. I am sad that he will never have the chance to know his child, the one he left behind nearly seven years ago. I am sad he will never get to be a part of my life, that he will never be my friend and fulfill all the potential he did have. Jim was only 36 years old...he had so much more life to live.
I weep as I type this, and my heart and soul ache. I am angry...angry that he would choose to put the rest of us who DO love him through this. I am angry that he didn't fight, angry that he didn't ask for more help, or go see someone to aid him like he had talked about so many times. I feel for his mother, father and brother. They have endured enough loss as is. I don't understand any of this..he left no explanation of his reasons in the note, but did say he sent a letter to both his brother and myself. Perhaps in that..are more answers to this tragedy.
I pray that God is merciful, as I have always been taught.
current mood: angry, sad, hurting
current music: Sting - Ocean Waltz
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| Sunday, August 13th, 2000
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10:46 pm - BAH...humbug
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Sometimes it really fucking SUCKS to be attractive. While I am no Cindy Crawford, I do know I am pretty, yadda. However, it frustrates me to NO end that a male friend..that I care for dearly..and offered heart and soul friendship, love and support to..responds by coming onto me VERY hardcore. This..in the midst of us having a rather good and heartfelt conversation. Men..
*sigh* I feel like shit from this cold, but moreso from how my day went..it just..feh..I'm depressed.
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12:54 am - What a week!
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It's been an interesting week, to say the least. Whirlwind!! A good thing..I got all the info filled in on the divorce interview sheet. Monday, I take the papers to the place where it gets typed up..a step in the RIGHT direction.
A few sad things happened. Geoffrey, one of the puppeteers at work, blew a tire on his bike and wrecked. Thankfully..he just has some bad scrapes and things. He's sore, but alive! Another puppeteer, his aunt died the other day..poor guy. Mom and dad are still arguing..wish they'd get it together. Saddest..though also for the best..Joel finally told Lilli it's over.
A heart and soul can only take so much abuse..he has finally reached his breaking point. I am NOT glad his marriage went to hell, no one goes into something like that with the intent or hope it will go badly. I AM glad he has finally found what it took to make him stand up for himself. He deserves better.
I have a cold this week, so have been feeling VERY tired. It's not a horrible cold, but I've just been wiped out. Yesterday, I slept between all my shows. Blew off the downstairs one (since it's not a formal, scheduled show) and napped. Did a show, napped again, videoed the other act..did another show, went home..fell into bed. SUCKAGE! But I feel a bit better today. I just poop out real easy, must be a little anemic, too. Juggled with Brian a bit today, after 5 minutes of passing clubs..I suddenly got VERY tired. WIerd..hate being sick.
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| Wednesday, August 9th, 2000
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11:43 pm - A FAR better day!
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Today was..what else can I say but it was fabulous! It started with yesterday, really. Took mom to chemo, then took myself to Barnes and Noble..stayed too long, spent, surprisingly not too much money. Getting out of a bookstore and having only spent around 60 bucks is GOOD for me, considering I've not been to a bookstore in ages and bought several books. Sorta got something for Joel's birthday, not what I wanted, but oh well. I wanted to get him a few Sting videos, cause I know how much I like mine. I DID find a neato book, the lyrics to 'Shape of My Heart' illustrated by Pablo Picasso. An odd sort of thing, but unique. Then I went to Cost Plus, a nifty little import kinda place. Bought some neat stuff there, got mom..went home.
Then I went to my massage...MMMMM. It was FABULOUS. I could have let this man go on for hours and hours. He relaxed me so much I had trouble flipping over on the table. The man has magic hands, he killed me, but I feel very loose today. I'm sore, but it's a good sore. Got home..Alan was here, we went to dinner. When we got back, his cell rang..it was Joel, of all people! Joel and I chatted for a few, then I gave Alan his cell back so he could go home..and called Joel back (at his request). We chatted for about an hour or so, it was SO incredibly nice. I just felt...well..very happy. It's his birthday tomorrow..gonna try to talk him into letting me take him for a drink or something, will be nice to spend some time around him. How can I do this? Easy..his wife is in Mexico visiting her family. So..it's a short-lived reunion, but I'll take what I can get.
Work was great, one of the Puppeteers who was on vacation came back and I was happy to see him, he's a sweetie :> Show went really well, everything just flowed..massages are magic!! I'm looking forward to tomorrow..not REAL pleased with the gift I got for Joel, so I might try and go find Sting tapes tomorrow..if I can make time. I DID get what looks like a cool thing..a history of the Police video thing. Might be cool, might not. Maybe I should just go get him a gift certificate?
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