...is like a bomb that has gone off all over this apartment....

there is a little bit of schmoopy in EVERY ROOM of this place, scattered about hither and yon....sometimes in little piles, but mostly just little bits everywhere...like carnage.

sometimes one needs to take a day off from work to clean up these little piles of schmoopy...

cleaning up schmoopy is a daunting task that requires patience and dedication...

schmoo bought a new printer last night since ours bit it a couple months ago...
so im bored today and playing around with stuff...
which means you get treated to a picture of us on a breast cancer walk thingy we participated in 2 years ago...

( badly scanned pic behind cut )

http://www.rathergood.com/hedgehogs/

in other tragic work news.....

tuesday kevin was bringing in a stack of skids that had apparently been out in the cage for awhile as a mommy mourning dove had made a nest in there...
the poor little thing rode all the way into the building before decided to fly off into the warehouse..deserting her nest with 2 tiny eggs inside....

now kevin being the hard-ass navy man that he is, was all concerned about the eggs getting too cold and suggested that i put the skids surrounding the eggs up high in the rack in hopes that they'd be warm enough for awhile until hopefully the mommy dove would find them...

no such luck... :(
the eggs sat there undisturbed for the remainder of the day...and kevin made me take them back outside...

that bird is STILL in the warehouse despite our efforts to scare her outside...we chased that bird everywhere, threw balls of shrink wrap and wood chips at her trying to scare her out the door...but she absolutely REFUSES to leave...she wont fly low enough to exit through the dock doors, although she will sit in the rafters ABOVE the doors like she wants to leave, but she just wont go...

she was looking rather ragged today, and her droppings are loose... im positive that if she stays in there over the weekend she'll die...theres nothing to eat or drink in there...

yesterday after everyone was gone, kurt bought some sunflower seeds and put them on the floor right in front of the dock door and turned out all the lights so the ONLY light was coming from that door ...when she saw the seeds and flew down to eat, kurt attempted to scare her out the door...
but she flew straight up into the rafters again... :(

stoopid birds...why do i like 'em so much?? :P

well its making the rounds on my friends page....i might as well play along..

Post a memory of me in the comments, even if its just an online memory- It can be anything you want.
Then post this to your journal and see what people remember of you.

there are baby geese outside....such cute little yellow fluffy balls waddling around with mommy and daddy goose....i could watch them for hours :)

i think today is karli's (tina's daughter) birthday party....but her actual birthday was LAST saturday...but tina hasnt said a word to me about it...
i hope there is still something going on today for that...because if theres not im going to be on karli's shit list!! :(
shes turned 7 last saturday....anyone remember the drama that was going on this time last year, long time readers??
heh.

thanks to the dentist visit yesterday im paranoid to chew anything on the right side of my mouth and if i catch myself i quickly swallow and chew with the other side....i dont want anymore damage happening over there..:(
did i mention yesterday that all those dentally-type problems were happening on one side of my mouth?? did ANYONE really want to know that??

:P~~

it my journal. suffer!!

i think stumpy and i need to take a shower now....hes screaming like a jackass for me.....last weekend a shower together seemed to amuse him (and me) and stop the screaming....

i paid all my bills and im officially po' until next thursday when ill get paid, and THEN on friday that whole check will go to rent so im right back to being a poverty stricken and destitute people....
good thing schmoo is loaded.
its nice having a sugar mama :)


oh and looky here!! a new making fiends!!

http://makingfiends.com/fiend08.htm

so i went to the dentist this morning...blech...
i knew i had to get x-rays this time around, so i wasnt looking forward to this at all....i have a small mouth and jamming those bite-wings in there makes me gaggy :(
and along went the cleaning...and then the exam....
i have a cracked filling, a broken tooth in the back and a chipped one in the front....WTF how did this happen without me knowing??
now i know about the chipped one in the front....it happened the day after i got my cleaning last time...but the cracked filling (which i got in '97) and the broken tooth in the back?? HOW could i not know about those??

so i go back to the dentist on may 21st to fix all these things....and they are going to get me an estimate on a brace thingy....they think i broke the tooth and cracked the filling by grinding my teeth or clenching my jaw...
i wonder how much THIS is going to cost me.....FUCK im never going to get my credit card paid off.....and ive been doing so good paying it down....:(
fuck fuck fuck.
yeah, my insurance will pay for SOME of it.....but im going to be responsible for most of it i just know it.. just like when i got those stupid moles removed....in my responsible little head i KNOW it had to be done to make sure they werent chock full of skin cancer....but DAMMIT i want to spend my money on FUN things, like paying my credit card and my loan off so i can get a new car because mine is CRAP.
fuck fuck fuck.

i dont think i am going to put my tongue ring back in....what if that damn thing is to blame for this?!
but i never ever bit it.....well...only ONCE like a month after i got it pierced, and that was over 3 years ago now...
im going to miss it :(
maybe ill go buy one of those soft ones ive seen....

...then i went to the gas station and a guy tried to sell me an umbrella...
(????)
he said it was "todays special...only a few left!!"
he was there getting in his trunk when i pulled in...and then he just whipped out the umbrellas and tried to sell them to everyone that was there getting gas....

how strange....
i thought about calling the cops while i was in the car wash - but decided not to...

i really hope i dont hear anything on the news tonight about a killer umbrella salesman...

i am addicted to my sims game for the PS2....
i am going to need a sims intervention soon...

( here is a work rant )

here i go....i just love to be trendy...

Please ask me 3 questions, no more no less. Ask me anything you want, and I will answer it truthfully. Then I want you to go to your journal, copy and paste this allowing your friends (including myself) to ask you anything.





p.s. i love this:
http://www.explodingdog.com/january2/fireandice.html

i jacked this from missmal

http://www.illwillpress.com/fatkins.html

oh. and you should all call my cell phone and leave me obscene voice messages...
why?
because i said so...
(and because if jezbian is doing it i totally should because its obviously fun and kewl!! although shes not asking for obscene messages....okay, okay...you dont have to leave me an OBSCENE message....but i wanna know what you all sound like...:)
260-414-0309

and if youre too friggin shy to do that, then text message me...
I NEED AMUSEMENT!!!

we are in the bedroom laying on the bed...she has just taken a shower and is taunting me with her nakedness and i am trying to persuade her for the sex0rs...

these are a couple of the excuses she has given me as to why we cant have the sex0rs...

1. she has not shaven her armpits and it would be like making love to a hippy.
2. its a jesus weekend.

then we laugh so hard that she begins to choke so i say "well if you die then i can at least have dead people sex with you....whats that called anyways??

schmoopy: "narcolepsy."

http://www.debsfunpages.com/easterswf/rapeasterbunny.swf

this make-a me laugh :)

1: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says:
has been taken care of, the imac quits all those programs, writes some last-minute things to the...
(from the book "how to do everything with your imac" third edition)

2: Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?
the phone sitting at the edge of the desk

3: What is the last thing you watched on TV?
the morning news this morning while getting ready for work

4: WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what the time is:
3:22

5: Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?:
3:24

6: With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?:
birds fweeting, schmoopy fweeting back, and the radio on low, cars on the highway, geese honking...

7: When did you last step outside? What were you doing?:
about 2 1/2 hours ago when i came back from the office earlier to pick up a package from spammykins :)

8: Before you came to this website, what did you look at?:
my email

9: What are you wearing?:
my favorite holey jeans, a white thermal shirt under a black fleetwood mac concert t-shirt, and camoflage chuck taylors...are you turned on?

10: Did you dream last night?:
yeah....but hell if i can remember what it was...

11: When did you last laugh?:
i was talking on the cell phone with schmoo...

12: What is on the walls of the room you are in?:
schmoopy's giraffe pictures & posters...a small green giraffe puppet/marianette, a picture of a giraffe that schmoo's niece drew..a giraffe calander (are you sensing a theme here?)

13: Seen anything weird lately?:
everytime i look in the mirror...

14(a): What book are you currently reading?:
ellen degeneres - the funny thing is

14(b): What is the last book you finished?:
hell i dunno...i STILL have the unlikely ones by mary brown to finish..like 4 chapters left...its going to make me cry so i keep not reading the ending...:(

15: What is the last film you saw?:
In a theater: along came polly
on TV: van wilder (i think?)


16: If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?:
id pay off all our debts and then new car for the schmoo & i...and then a house!

17: Tell me something about you that I don't know:
i dont like crowds

18: If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?:
I'd help crazylittleelf and notdead kill all the stupid people.

19: Do you like to dance?:
only when no ones looking...or im drunky...im a bad dancer...:(

20: What is the last thing you ate or drank?
a small v8 juice thingy

21(a): Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?:
zoe or grace


21(b): Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?:
jackson cobain

2: Would you ever consider living abroad?:
I LOVE ME SOME BROADS!! HAHAHA
seriously..maybe austrailia...

what makes people tolerant?
what gives people patience??

i am neither tolerant or patient with stupid people...there are a couple of guys at work who are just.....just.....indescribable...stubborn, dense...i dont know what makes these dudes tick (if anything)...lights arent on and obviosly no one is home...

anyways...i just had a bad day with people...
dallas decided that he was going to fuck off for the remainder of the day while i was busting my ass...
and speaking of dallas, i got an angry voice mail from his wife asking me not to call his cell or text message him anymore...WTF?!?!
apparently she thinks we are having an affiar... (?!)

YOO-HOO...GAY! ever hear of it?? im not going to steal your man, get over yourself stupid wife thing...:P
( i text messaged him last thursday when we were at the bar and told him to come over...because he SAID he was going to...its not like i messaged him "hey sexy man...bring your penis to the bar!"

and the more i think about it, the madder i get for him not putting the wife in check...WHY did he let her call me??

a couple years ago there was a guy named kris who liked to go to the gay bar with tina and i...i thought he was an alright guy and gave him my number and email and shit, and then one day i had emailed him and left the house....shortly after schmoopy came home and he called and asked for me but wouldnt tell her who was calling even though she asked....and he insisted that i WAS there because he had just received email from me and didnt believe her when she kept telling him i wasnt there...he basically harassed her and then when he hung up he said "bye erin."
letting her know that HE knew who SHE was....
now that was a shitty thing to do to my poor schmoo...but when she wanted to call him back and SCREAM at him to leave me alone, i wouldnt let her....the dumbass was my friend and nothing more...he was just a dumbass...

so WHY didnt dallas stop his wife from calling ME??
makes me mad now that i think about it....before i just thought it was funny because she thinks a lesbian is interested in her husband....

aw poop on stuff..
im going to go feed the limping goose and his girlfriend...

im updating because im bored.
schmoo went home for a couple days to visit with her mommy and get new thingies for her car.....license plate thingies...

tate anrie bit stumpy's foot and made it bleed earlier today...i missed the drama, but needless to say tate anrie spent the rest of his day in birdy jail :(
(birdy jail is just another cage right next to the shared cage)

so here are some gratuitous pics of my po' stumpy baby so you may all feel sorry for him and say things like "awwwwwww..."
he likes sympathy..

http://www.uploadit.org/tiggywinkle/bumpy.JPG
(holy crap this pic came out HUGE!!)

http://www.uploadit.org/tiggywinkle/runstumpyrun.JPG
(well i thought this was a picture of stumpy running away....but upon close inspection i see that its actually MUNSTY running away from the domestic violence he witnesses each day since tate anrie has gone mad with hormones)


http://www.uploadit.org/tiggywinkle/munsty.JPG
(a picture of munst just because hes such a good boy - and this pic is rather large also..)

http://www.uploadit.org/tiggywinkle/tootsie.JPG
(this is a pic of my foot and the bump that resides there. i am posting this JUST IN CASE there may be someone who knows something about feet on my friends page and could possibly tell me WTF this bump is, and if i may have to have this foot amputated in the future)

here is the coherent version of last nights outing to the strip club..

you guys have NO idea how long it took me to type out my last entry so that it was readable...and looking back at it today, its STILL got a lot of drunky typing in it...

so yes.....last night..
see, we have been planning on going there all week because the guys at work tell stories about how the strippers there at that particular strip bar are horrendously ugly with eyes going 2 seperate directions...and how they sometimes pass out right on stage in the middle of a number, so tina and i arent believing a bit of it, so we wanted to go...i was really nervous because i thought it was going to be SO bad and that it would be SO funny and we would laugh and hurt the strippers feelings...and then get kicked out of the place...

well as i stated in last nights entry, there WAS the one non-stripper that was laughable...she was actually SITTING on the stage during one of her numbers talking to a guy who wanted to tip her, and the song stopped and you could hear her telling this guy to just throw the money on the stage and she'll get it....we couldnt hear what the guy was saying to her....i assume he was trying to get her to take off an article of clothing, ANY article of clothing...but she kept insisting that he just throw the money on the stage.....which made us all laugh, and then she was telling that guy that we were all laughing at jesus, which made us laugh even harder..

well eventually the crazy drugged up non-stripper ended up over in our corner i think because either kevin (not my boss kevin) had a thing for her, or she had a thing for him....i think he just wanted to take advantage of a drugged up non-stripper...
kevin was asking her if she was bi, and she was all "NO IM NOT BI.....well not yet, because i havent found the right woman..." and she was eyeballing tina...
and then kevin tried to sell tina to her for 200 dollars...which did not please tina in the least, but it made me laugh really hard...:)

then there was the teeny tiny leetle bleach blonde stripper who never ever took her bikini top off either...she did the same dance over and over on the greasy old guy....

and then there was the one i liked....she was very tall, pale, and big, but not really fat....i think she had a beautiful body...and she had beautiful blue eyes, and a kind smile...
i asked her if this grossed her out, and she said "what?"
i said "girls"
she said "nah"
but i dont think she liked girls much....

we left the bar around 10:00, and i dropped tina off at home and went to the grocery to buy more fresh broccoli and slivered almonds so that in case she feels so inclined she may make more of the delicious broccoli salad if she ever has a free moment...
*hint hint to schmoopy*

i fell in love with a stripper tonight....
*sigh*
there was a nice stripper there ...she looked like faerae but bigger (and not as HAWT)....she had the biggest blue-est eyes...
oh she smelled SO good...
nice boobies ,too... i lurve her....

and there was another stripper there who was obviously on something,,,she was on something and talked to herself in the mirror..."tasha your hair is nappy girl you need to brush that shit"
and she never took a stitch of clothing off...
at the beginning of the night she said we were laughing at jesus,,,,
and then for one of her numbers she had her raincoat over her head like cornholio....and i swear she never took any clothes off...she was wearibf black stretch pants, a pink sweater and a rtan rain coat looking thing....she never took any of it off....

while another girl (my favorite one) was dancing to "im a slave for you" by britney spears the weird stripper girl told tina that shed be a slave for her.....LOL

and i am chris & dave's hero for getting the haw strippers boobies in my face...
wow...

i forgot how much fun strip clubs can be....



*getting beaten by schmoopy now*

so let us go back in time to last tuesday when it was my birthday...
i had to work, but other than that it was a good day...

schmoopy bought me lavish gifts, wrapped them, and hid them in various locations around the house...and everytime i found and opened one, there was a note inside telling me where i could find the next hidden present....all the while she is following me around and giggling, which was the best present ever :)
other gifts i found were: a new cubs hat, a breakfast club DVD, season one of friends DVD, a picture frame, a 3 pack of snickers eggs, and i t-shirt that says "i have decided to put myself in charge."
my mom gave me 50 bucks..
tina gave me 20 bucks..and that bought us a temporary birthday dinner of taco bell..
then friday we did the real birthday dinner of red lobster :)
i had an awesome birthday...i love my schmoopy :)))

last week i also had a loaner forklift all week because i stripped the bearings out of mine whatever that means...and the loaner forklift was a piece of CRAP tha had no side-shift and the battery would only charge to 81% so it went dead on me all week with an hour or 2 to go on my shift :P
and THEN the loaner forklift broke...i think it might've been the same bearing stripping thingy....
MY forklift finally returned last friday...my day off...but at least it was there for me to enjoy on monday :)

ive still been doing the gym thingy....but ive done something to my shoulder/back and i dont know how or what i did it on...all i know it it hurts on the right side of my back under my shoulder blade when i take a deep breath or move wrong....:(
maybe im lifting too much weight? hell if i know...
i DO know that i dont want to do any arm/shoulder machines until this goes away..:(

yesterday tate anrie (hes french) decided that he HATES stumpy again and has been chasing him around violently and biting him, forcing stumpy to jump off the cage...so i had to break out the other cage that i had JUST 2 weeks ago packed up and put away because there have been no birdy disagreements for so long....:(
damn birdy hormones...tate is just defending ...hell i dunno what hes defending...munsty?
the cage? (his territory)
i dont know what it is, but im positive that its spring hormones thats making him do this....and i hate it, because poor stumpy has NO clue whats going on, and hes scared to death of tate...

schmoo made this AWESOME broccoli salad and i want to eat it all.

im playing hooky today...

i think im done updating now....i cant think of anything else to say...

Who will you be stuck with at end of time? by chi_a_baidh
Your name is
Your sex is	MaleFemaleUndecided
Your favorite color is	RedOrangeYellowGreenBluePurpleBlackWhiteOther
You are stuck there because	you can't die
For _____ years	49
With
He/She will think you are	sexy
You will	kill him/her
Created with quill18's MemeGen 3.0!

see....im undecided on the gender question because when i said i was a female it said i was going to be stuck with johnny depp and we were going to repopulate the earth....but im really not into weiners and the whole birthin' babies thingy....so i changed it, but now im totally bummed out that im going to kill jennifer aniston...she is teh HAWT!!

i have a post to make about the birthday i had, and how my forklift was in the shop all last week and how it ruined my week and the gym and my fat ass and my obsession with buying cute small stuffed bunnies and duckies this time of year...and stuff...but i dont wanna do it right now...
im having a bad case of the LJ lazies....:(

oh...and before i forget...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOMORROW to my long lost not dead buddy....notdead
dont forget to say OOP when you blow out the candles....:)

hey wattaya know.....this almost was a legitimate post!

if you call me heather - you dont *really* know me.
if you call me heather lee - you are my mom and you are mad at me
if you call me schmoopy - youre schmoopy!
if you cal me hezzie - you are my mom and are not mad at me
if you call me tig or tiggy - you are an online friend or acquaintence
if you call me wanker - you are jkatj or wrdgrrl
if you call me heshah or boo or boonopoly - you are dallas
if you call me huguenard, burgeise, smozzel, or psycho - you are tina
if you call me hee-tha - you are my japanese host family
if you call me heather mree or that one girl - you are an evil linda
if you call me heathereen - you are kevin
if you call me ozzie - you are my aunt sandie
if you call me hez - you are any member of my family
if you call mee fee-fah you are HP

im going in to work at noon today, as i didnt sleep nary a wink last night..
(ooooooh bonus points for the word nary)
(oooooooh total nerd points for using the word nary)

i spent the night sniffling and snotting and stuffing kleenex in my nose.....who knew a nose could possibly have this much snot in it??
so i called in and said id be in at noon, because i DID eventually fall asleep somewhere around 4-ish i think...

so of course wihle ive been sick i havent been to the gym and feel like my little bit of progress ive made has been for naught.
(MORE NERD POINTS FOR DORKY WORK USAGE)

i had my assessment on friday and well....yeah...i had that...
i found out all kinds of useful information, such as my blood pressure and cholesterol and all that shit is fine...however i have the body of a 44 year old!!
AHHH!! and i bitch about being my actual age and still tell everyone im 29!!
as it turns out i need to tell everyone im 44!! :O
(maybe i can pass for 40 at least?)

but anyways, the nice torture lady made me out a work out planny thingy to do and showed me how to use and adjust the machines...and i havent been back since becuse ive been all sick and stuff..:(

hopefully tonight ill feel alright and i can go do my weights....

of course no one showed up to see the apartment....i worked and slaved through my sickness to clean this place and make it presentable, yet no one bothered to even call...
my mom emailed a couple times....sounds like they all had a fun-filled weekend....:(
im glad.

i better brush my teef and go to work :P