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Wednesday, April 28th, 2004

Time:7:03 am.
Brains should be their own food group, I mean just IMAGINE all of the nutritional value!!!

So yes, Mike, Jon and myself made the short trek to Kansas city to see Slipknot and (more imprtantly) Fear Factory. OMFingG it was a show to remember. Jon had never been to a show like this befor yet he blended in perfectly. It was at Memeorial Hall and Jon was the first of us to recomend jumping the barrier onto the floor..and was also the first one to do it out of the three of us. I love that man.

Brian and Michelle showed up later, who ALSO tried to jump but they both got caught and sent back up to the seats (insert snotty laugh here)

Fear Factory was just a small bit shy of fucking Godlike. They opened with Shock, and then into Edgecrusher and then Self Biased Resistor (my favorite song) and they dug a few tunes from the old days like Martyr and Scapegoat. All three of us were more anxious to see them then the headlining Slipknot. Me and Mike mostly because of the recent lineup change. PLus....well they sucked big fat wrinkled man balls last time we saw them, all bringing strippers onto the stage and the only thing they ever said to the crowd was the obligatory "WHATS UP MOTHERFUCKERS!" I hate it when people do that. But last night was very very different, they finally put on the blazing blistering performance that I kept promising Mike that they were capable of delivering. But the HIGHLIGHT of the night was that my brother Mike just happened to run into Corey Taylor, the vocalist from Slipknot hanging out in the smoking area outside.....no bullshit. Got he signature and everything. Mike said he was really short....and kinda fat too, but he blended in perfectly with the rest of us.

SO finally after 4 years, we got to see our friends in Fear Factory again...god damn I missed them.

Hilarious Jon quote of the night:
Me: Hey, their logo used to have a 5 pointed star...what happened?
Jon: Their stock went up....try to keep up, whitey.
Me: Fabulous.

7 shots of Jager and 4 hours of continous moshing we went home and had Hardees. Good night.
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Thursday, April 8th, 2004

Time:3:46 am.
"Bam bam buhbam buh bam bam buh bam.,.....WISH I WAS EUROPEEEAAAAAN!"

Why is it so bad to like America? IS it so bad to be okay with your country, even if the rest of the world hates you for it?

I mean just because the rest of the world only sees the elite minority on tv, or our military in person, doesnt give the world the right to pass any judgements on the American culture.

"Americans love war and think its the only solution to everything."

True? Personally, I havent met a SINGLE person that supported the Bush administration during the Iraq or Afgan war. Some were skeptical at best and outright AGAINST an all fronts in other cases. MOst people I talk to are very apologetic when it comes to our GOVERMENTS actions concering foreign relations.

"Americans are violent because they all own guns."

Really? I mean sure the second amendment gives the common man the right to own and carry a fire arm, but that doesnt mean EVERYONE owns one. I personally own two weapons. A .22 rifle and a 12 gauge shot gun, yet I dont hunt and I have never shot another living thing. I just enjoy my ability at being a good marksman. And I love the feeling when I can hit 81 clays out of 100 my second try....shooting is just something Im good at, and Ive found MANY people who feel the same way I do. Yes there are many times more gun related murders in the US then the rest of the world, but that being said...why not look at murders period and not just gun related ones, im sure the the numbers will look a lot different.

"Americans have no culture."

We have no INDIGINOUS culture. Our country is made up of THOUSANDS of different races, religions, people and cultures, so itd be IMPOSSIBLE to have one to call "American". Every single race large and small is represented somehow in the american masses, and each has their place in society.

I could go on for hours, but my point is its ok to be American. Its okay to like your country, I dont care WHERE youre from. When I went to Germany, I was APALLED at the lack of patriotism and how their culture actually stifles it! I thkink everyone should be proud of where they came from. Stand up and fucking SHOUT IT!!

When I say "I love America", Im talking about the actual country, people, places. The Rocky mountains, football (GO CHEIFS!), drag racing, NCAA basketball (GO KU!), trips to the salad bar, jazz, season tickets, bass fishing, wrestling, the Fourth of July, blues, barbque, waitresses with southern accents, Cajun, twinkies, the reinventing of the word "fuck", the very ESSENCE of the party capitol of the world!

It makes me sick how most people I know spend more time perfecting their "smashing accents" then embracing where their heart really lies. I know people who deny themselves being American and instead run around saying their "Scottish" or "Russian" and then come back next week to talk to me about how "British" they are.

ugh....gonna vomit.
Comments: Read 10 or Add Your Own.

Friday, March 19th, 2004

Subject:I STOLE THIS!!! I STOLE IT REALLY I DID!! I CANT MAKE THEM UP MYSELF!!!! IM SUCH A WHORE!!!!
Time:2:14 am.
1. Kissed your cousin: Jesus lord no!
2. Ran away: when i was 5 i ran away cause my parents were fighting again. twas the first time i saw mom hit dad. pretty funny when i think of it now, but really scary at the time
3. Pictured your crush naked: dont have to, ive got pictures -=wink=-
4. skipped school: hell no. but according to the "official" record i have twice
5. Broken someone's heart: yes, but it was the best for the both of us
6. Been in love: have been, am currently, and always will be
7. Cried when someone died: -=nods=- Grandfathers on both sides, Johnny Cash, Barry White, little Greg Brumly
8. Wanted someone you knew you couldn't have: hasnt everyone?
9. Broken a bone: suprisingly enough no
10. Done something embarrasing: its become an hourly habit of mine
11. Done a drug: of course,
12. Cried in school: again, hasnt everyone?

WHICH IS BETTER
13. Girls or Guys: girls are awesome. see Julie for the best example
14. Flowers or Candy: never gotten flowers ever in my life
15. Scruff or Clean shaved: used to not care. but ive found shaven to be irresistably sexy.
16. Blondes or Brunettes: redheads are my favorite. but currently theres a brunette running around Europe with the key to my life in her little pocket.
17. Bitchy or Slutty: eh?
18. Tall or Short: again no real prefference. but Im happy with Julie the way she is. when i hold her her head rests right under my chin....perfect height
19. Pants or Shorts: pants. but im partial to skirts.
20. Night or Day: the night is your friend

WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX
21. What do you notice first: hair, eyes, hands. im also a big fan of breasts, hips and legs. shes gotta be thick
22. Last person you slow danced with: Vanessa at her senior prom
23. Worst Question To Ask: "But its not like we're SERIOUS or anything, right?"

THE LAST TIME YOU...
24. Showered: this morning
25. Stepped outside: 20 mins ago
26. Had Sex: January 9th at 5:41am. it was 18 degrees outside and party cloudy with a 60% for rain
27. Romantic memory: Christmas eve, Kendall asked Julie why she wanted to move to "such a crappy country" so much. Julie put her hand on my leg and told him "To be with this guy, right here." it was nearly impossible to keep the tears back. ive never felt so loved in all my life.
28. Your Good Luck Charm: my half dollar i found at the tattoo the earth show at Burcham park. that was 5 years ago and i still have it.
29. Person(s) You Hate Most: racists, Billy Joe White,
30. Best Thing That Has Happened: going to Germany, and being drunk enough to admit to Julie how much I missed her, and how much I wanted her back.
31. On your desk: my little Aeka statue, Julie's picture, cds and a half empty can of Guinness
32. Picture on your desktop: the Achewood strip where Lyle and Teodore are drinking bourbon and rocking out to a ginsu infomercial. "I think my hearts EXPLODING!! These KNIVES!!!"
33. Cars: 95 Pontiac Grand Prix with 1000W in the trunk
34. Ice Cream: Julies got me hooked on peppermint
35. Season: fall, late winter
36. Breakfast Food: Julie
37. Makes you laugh: Monk, Julie, Mike, Jon
38. Makes you smile: same as above
39. Can make you feel better no matter what: Julie, Monk, Tommy, Tom P
40. Has A Crush On You: -=bitter sigh=- every single divorced, lonely, menopause fucking single mother I work with
41. Do You Have A Crush On Someone: more like disgustingly in love with: Julie
42. Who Has it easier? Girls or Guys? the grass is always greener
43. Gives you A Funny Feeling When You See Them: everyone

DO YOU EVER
44. Sit by the phone waiting for a phone call all night: lol yes, but she never calls me
45. Save MSN conversations: ICQ, yeah
46. Save E-mails: the really sweet ones from Julie
47. Forward secret E-mails: whatd be the point
48. Wish you were someone else: every second
49. Wish you were a member of the opposite sex: itd be fun for a change
50. Wear perfume: Polo Sport
51. Kiss: of course. and ive got 4 very good sources who say im good at it
52. Cuddle: especially when its really rainy and cold out
53. Go online for longer than eight hours at a time: lol hell yes

HAVE YOU EVER
54. Kissed two people in the same day? lol no
55. Had sex with two different people in the same day?: im lucky to get some from ONE person....geez
56. Been in lust?: hell yes.
57. Used someone?: i was raised better then that.
58. Been used?: nice people tend to get used a lot.
59. Cheated on someone?: again, i was taught better then that. but ive discovered in recents years that that makes me a prude
60. Been cheated on?: it happens to everyone
61. Done something you regret?: yes, i didnt take the blue pill

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON...
62. You touched?: Mike
63. You talked to?: Mike
64. You hugged?: Mike
65. you instant messaged?: Jon
66. You kissed?: Julie....and it was one of those "Better make this a good one" kind of kisses. the kind that Hollywood could never reproduce.
67. You yelled at?: Mike
68. You thought about?: Julie
69. Who text messaged you?: Jon
70. Who broke your heart?: Julie, but she fixed it too so its ok
71. Who told you they loved you?: my Dad

DO YOU...
72. Color your hair?: used to, a practice i may get back into
73. Have tattoos?: none, cant think of any id want to have for more then oh say the rest of my life......maybe the Dream Theater symbol
74. Own a webcam?: two god dammit
75. Own a thong?: yes, shes kinda mad I stole it, but i like sex trophies
76. Ever get off the damn computer?: no...so get your own
77. Sprechen Sie Deutsch?: a little. i need to get back to working on it for when we go back to Germany
78. Habla espanol?: si, un poco.
79. Quack?: vomit
Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.

Tuesday, March 2nd, 2004

Time:12:55 pm.
I am 0% Raver

Have I even been to a rave? I'll go home. I am a Loser. I suck. Actually, I am probably just a normal person taking this test and don't know why.

Take the Raver Test at fuali.com
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Subject:fucktraptfucktraptfucktraptfucktraptfucktraptfucktraptfucktraptfucktraptfucktraptfucktraptfucktraptc
Time:6:33 am.
Mood:totally hating on trapt.
Music:InExtremo : Erdbeermund.
OMFGKTHNXBYE I HATE TRAPT!!!

they G-HEYest band the world has ever defacated.

"Were so passionate about being rockers. It is the right of every sentient being to sound like 3 Doors Down." I think Johnny dare said it best:

"These guys, just like the other one hit wonders they try to immitate, sound like they genuinely WANT to rock but are afraid to do so." -=nodnod=-

More like they genuinely want to eat my dick with an extra large order of my ass. Fucking Trapt. I hear theyre going to play the storm shelter behind the abandoned storage complex with special guest Confirmation Mandy. Tickets are 20.00 bucks, dollar for a shot of scope. Next week, SEX FEUNERAL! omfg!!

And whats with their name "Trapt". Is it supposed to signify the plight of the modern day youth struggling to find a place in a technological tundra plagued by feelings of inadequacy? Or was it an attempt to capture the feelings of the hopelesness felt by millions of dissident and lonely people who were left behind in the onset of the Information age? Or is it, just like their music, g-hey.

A short list of names the band known as trapt was going to use befor they chose said name:

Orginai-Zashiun
:)
E=Mc Hammer
M.E.T.A.L.I.S.N.E.A.T
Tommy
Blessed Bea
Payne
Frouzin
Nelly

Hear me now, TRAPT! I now, and will forever HATE YOU!

I think this week Im going to put a trap "TRAPT OMFG" door in the floor of my car between my feet in case I need to drop grenades or other incendiaries quickly and into traffic, or incase I find myself being chased by Trapt.

"Captain Awesome! G-HEY rock band comming up on our six!"

"SHIT! OH SHIT!!!111 Fire grenades!!!"

KABOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!

Singer for Trapt: Noooooo, my liiiiiiife!!

Me(Captain Awesome): HA HA HA !!! For great Justice!!!

Then I'd whip out this huge cigar and light it on their burning corpses. Then have sex in their houses.
Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.

Wednesday, February 25th, 2004

Subject:As if we didnt know already.
Time:5:24 am.
I am 63% Metal Head

I rock just as hard as the rest of the thrash set, except when no ones looking I like to get down with a little "More than a Feeling."

Take the Metal Head Test at fuali.com





37% fat. My only excuse for not being 100% metal head.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Friday, February 20th, 2004

Subject:OMFG ANOTHER FUNNY STORY ABOUT GAMERZ!!
Time:5:35 am.

FAIRY TALE

Once upon a time there has a young LARPER named QUINTON. He was SPLODEY IMPAILING in the WRONG forest when he met LAME JON WESLEY, a run-away MOOCHING GAMER WHORE from the DEAD Queen BETH.

QUINTON could see that LAME JON WESLEY was hungry so he reached into his DICE BAG and give him his LARPING MOUNTAIN DEW. LAME JON WESLEY was thankful for QUINTON's MOUNTAIN DEW, so he told QUINTON a very MUNCHKIN LIKE story about Queen BETH's daughter NICHOLE. How her mother, the DEAD Queen BETH, kept her locked away in a RICHARD'S APARTMENT protected by a gigantic UNDEAD LAWFUL GOOD SAMURAI NAMED MASA, because NICHOLE was so SICK.

QUINTON CRITICALLY BOTCHED. He vowed to LAME JON WESLEY the MOOCHING GAMER WHORE that he would save the SICK NICHOLE. He would VOMITING the UNDEAD LAWFUL GOOD SAMURAI NAMED MASA, and take NICHOLE far away from her eveil mother, the DEAD Queen BETH, and ROLLING her.

Then, all of the sudden, there was a MOROSE CARLA BALDWIN and LAME JON WESLEY the MOOCHING GAMER WHORE began to laugh. With a puff of smoke he turned into the gigantic UNDEAD LAWFUL GOOD SAMURAI NAMED MASA from his story. DEAD Queen BETH SPLODED out from behind a DICE and struck QUINTON dead. In the far off RICHARD'S APARTMENT you could hear a SPLAT.

THE END.

Make your own Fairy Tale at fuali.com

Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:OMFG ITS FUNNY!!!
Time:5:12 am.
Mood:hilarious.
Music:Mike laughing at my ridiculous story.
Once upon a time there has a young OTHER JIZ MOPPER named GOD. He was SPERMINATOR PUKING in the DEAD forest when he met NERVOUS MONK, a run-away JIZ MOPPER from the HORNY Queen FETCHMEASAMMICHHOE.

GOD could see that NERVOUS MONK was hungry so he reached into his MONK'S HEAD and give him his BLOOD TERRIBLE. NERVOUS MONK was thankful for GOD's TERRIBLE, so he told GOD a very VOMIT story about Queen FETCHMEASAMMICHHOE's daughter JULIE. How her mother, the HORNY Queen FETCHMEASAMMICHHOE, kept her locked away in a BURNING protected by a gigantic BABY, because JULIE was so DEAD.

GOD DEAD. He vowed to NERVOUS MONK the JIZ MOPPER that he would save the DEAD JULIE. He would VOMITING the BABY, and take JULIE far away from her eveil mother, the HORNY Queen FETCHMEASAMMICHHOE, and DYING her.

Then, all of the sudden, there was a VOMIT VOMIT and NERVOUS MONK the JIZ MOPPER began to laugh. With a puff of smoke he turned into the gigantic BABY from his story. HORNY Queen FETCHMEASAMMICHHOE PUKED out from behind a SEVERED HEAD and struck GOD dead. In the far off BURNING you could hear a BARF.

THE END.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Time:4:58 am.
Mood: nerdy.
Im feeling kinda nerdy right now. Plus I feel a need to express my feelings about the connection between player characters and their players.How people put a bit of themselves into every persona:

My longest lasting character in any game was a lawful good samurai in Dungeons and Dragons by the name of Yoshimitsu Masanori (Masa). He was trained by a less then respectable sensei called Dong, who was a wanted criminal and a well known theif unbeknownst to poor Masa. One day the local shogunites came looking for Dong and excacted the justice that was deserving of hs crimes, death. After his execution, Masa was an official "Ronin" and thus began his adventures through the world. On earth in D&D;, dragons are feral creatures and are revered in the same right as unicorns or mermaids. Treated with respect and worshipped as symbols of immense power. Masa based his entire way of life on the dragons. Honour, strength, loyalty, and above all things to be true to yourself. It was when he was shifted to the world of Kryn that his entire view of dragons was to be shattered in the cruelest of ways. His first encounter was with a Black dragon (lawful evil) that was asleep under a huge rock shelf. He krept up carefully to get a better look "dragons on earth are all green, so to see a black one was a thrilling sight indeed" and as he did the creature stirred, gave him a awkward look and bellowed out "What do you want, little man?". Again Masa was at a loss for words, the creature SPOKE! A talking dragon? A talking BLACK dragon? After a few moments of silence, the dragon stood up and viciously attacked Masa with his tail, sending him 30 yards into a very large tree, knocking him out. In his sleep he drampt of demonic dragons destroying everyhting good and holy in the world and seeing this made Masa a little nuts "The GM made me roll on an insanity table" and after he awoke, he was overcome by a vision, a personal quest to rid the world of all evil "tainted" dragons, at any cost.

Later, in a very shabby tavern, a very tired, weak, and starving Masa stumbles in ordering food and logding. WHile he was waiting for his food, a drunkard stumbles toward him and sits down. "Ye -=hic=- you taint from 'round -=hic=- here are...ya -=belch=-" Disgusted, Masa leaves and sits at another table, only to see him follow closely behind. "I say, y'aint from'rounere are ya? -=belch=-."
"No."
"Dats a -=hic=- h..honey of a blade'ere son...hows'bout younme have a lil'dual-thingy hmm?"
"Not in the mood."
"Awwww -=belch=- c'mon kid, I promise not t'hurt ya too much -=hic=- much."
"I said no..besides I doubt you could even stand up in that state."
Then the stranger slugs poor Masa right square in the jaw (12 hit points). That was the last straw. A few moments later the two were squaring off behind the tavern in the most comedic display of swordmanship ever seen in the town. The drunk was making a complete mockery of Masa! Miss after miss after miss (12 consecutive rolls resulting in misses). It was after an hour (17 combat rounds) that Masa then realized that the man was using very familiar techniques. Utilizing Iajitsu stances and dodging using the Kendo form. Masa then put his katana away and asked the man his name, "Ryu Uth Lighthammer" he sais. The two shook hands, and Masa had acquired a new master. In the years to come, Masa, under Ryu's training, would finish his training by questing for a very powerful weapon. Forged specificaly to slay evil dragons. The Rainbow (+5 magical katana, x3 damage against dragons, x5 against evil dragons and creatures of evil alignments).

This character I made in junior highschool. I chose a samurai because I knew I could relate to them easily and had no trouble roleplaying their values. Honourbound, protective, and deadly if you cross them or threaten those they care about. Plus their calm and meditative nature made them easy for other player characters to get along with in game. I put a lot of work into him. 7 years later out of game he died VERY embarassingly due to 3 VERY bad rolls ( a one, and another one, and then a two...critical botch) long story short he accidentally impaled himself on his own sword. I STILL havent lived that down.

I guess its why I love RPG's so much. Through character development you get to know a lot of things about your friends you never knew. Its my personal experience that EVERYONE puts a bit of themselves into every character they make. Whether they be good, evil, selfish or just plain wierd, they kind of act as vessels for the pieces of our personality we are afraid or too shy to express. Masa enbodied my love of dragons, eastern philosophy, and a desire to explore and have a goal. He also expressed my love of friendship, my sense of loyalty, and inner strength (or lack there of). Plus everyone else in the game really liked him. Not just because he was the strongest character (Lvl 15 samurai, Lvl 2 monk, Lvl 2 dragon slayer), but because he protected and cared for the other players.....also he had 14 ranks in cooking!

I think thats enough nerdering for one entry. Ill write tomorrow about my currect D&D; character, Motoko Shizumi. The half human / half silver dragon samurai.
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Sunday, February 15th, 2004

Time:3:49 pm.
Mood: uncomfortable.
...................Diane?
Comments: Add Your Own.

Saturday, January 31st, 2004

Time:2:55 pm.
Mood: loved.
Music:Freezer Pops : Here comes a special boy (Phillipe).
Something funny happend today.

You see, my girlfriend, Julie, asked me what I wanted from her for Valentines day. Whats funny about this? Well, shes already given me everyhting I could ever want. What shes provides for me is beyong wealth, beyond treasure, beyond all forms of earthly pleasure. No price could be imagined, that could equal how much she means to me as a person, a woman, a lover, a lifetime companion. She means more then everything to me. Her love is all I need.

Every second I spend with her, or even talking to her, is marginally better then the second befor it, making every second with her the best moment of my life. So every day could be the best day of my life, as long as I have her. Shes a testament to femenine perfection. I love her.

And a big "Sorry" to Monk. I think I called him once or twice but got a busy signal, so I called Quinn and through his phone I babbled something about his head, something about it being an illusion and there was only a balloon with a smiley face painted on it in its place.....I dont remember. Yeah I need to drink more often.
Comments: Read 5 or Add Your Own.

Friday, January 23rd, 2004

Time:2:50 pm.
I havent been scared about my health since I was 7. And now, well, its more like concerned.

When me, Mike and Julie went to St Louis I was feeling kindof under the weather. I was running a fever and I had some wicked aches going on. Basically it was just a really bad cold. Though another strange symptom came that was more then a little strange. That day my heart starting having these wierd spasms. Its like it stops, then it starts again and goes real fast trying to catch up with itself. Or sometimes its like the rhythum is all out of whack, like it will beat fine and then it will beat really really hard for a few seconds and then back to normal. It doesnt hurt or anything but it does make me kinda nauscious. Plus I wish it would stop cause its kind of creeping me out. Its the same thing I get when I eat too much pizza or spaghetti or drink a lot of milkshakes so this feeling is far from new to me, I've just never had them this long.

Im confident Ill live through whatever this is. I just wish it would go the hell away cause its keeping me up at night....and I REALLY dont want to have to go see a doctor. Speaking of those worthless motherfuckers!!! WHY THE FUCK DO THEY CLOSE ON FRIDAY?!?!?!?! Is like a national fucking Doctor holiday? Do they think people dont need treatment or care on friday? Are their fucking golf games or little Suzies school pagent more important then someones life? "We're sorry, our offices are closed today, chumps! Were all out having highballs and talking about last nights I love Raymond episode really loudly!"

The health care system in America is a lot like your family. Only there when you dont need them, and when you do theyre gone and not even a bloodhound can find them again.
Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.

Sunday, December 14th, 2003

Time:5:13 am.
inadequate

adj 1: (sometimes followed by `to') not meeting the requirements especially of a task; "inadequate training"; "the staff was inadequate"; "she was inadequate to the job" [ant: adequate] 2: not sufficient to meet a need; "an inadequate income"; "a poor salary"; "money is short"; "on short rations"; "food is in short supply"; "short on experience" [syn: poor, short]
Comments: Add Your Own.

Monday, December 8th, 2003

Time:10:24 pm.
...oh, and thats my brother's christmas present
Comments: Add Your Own.

Time:10:23 pm.
....dig the new icon. i was gonna have a gun hanging out of my mouth and a lot of blood smeared on the walls around the shower with me lying in it, but this took less time
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Friday, December 5th, 2003

Time:8:36 am.
i really suck at this "boyfriend" business
Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.

Thursday, December 4th, 2003

Subject:A list of HILARIOUS things I'd like on my gravestone
Time:9:26 am.
1. "brb"
2. A recipe for deviled eggs
3. My last words "I'll do it! I'll jump!!"
4. The url for HairCute
5. A charicature of Brian
6. The lyrics for the song Albuquerque by Wierd Al
7. A post it note. Not a picture of one carved into it, but a real post it note.
8. The cover art to a Yes album (Roger Dean is da man)
9. Michelle's head
10. "Get offa me..you fuck"
11. "Im gettin hungry down here. How about throwing me a lunchables....or juice box....I love you too, Brett."
11. A list of peoples who still owe me money
12. And where they live
13. All the sex positions Ive done (or DIDNT do) in graphic detail, complete with lillustrations...this is going to be the smallest grave stone EVER.
14. A picture of Strong Bad
15. "I rule"
16. "God hates you"
17. It could be like really huge and next to it would be a small chisel and a hammer and my grave stone would serve as a mesage board, where people could like hold forums and exchange ideas. Theyd just like carve their words in.
18. Instead hows about you all just throw me on top of a grave plot and take pictures to catalogue my decomposition, for further studies.
19. Mike could take a dump on it
20. Have an arrow pointing to the grave next to mine and text saying "He did it"
Comments: Add Your Own.

Time:5:33 am.
The more nosebleeds I get, the more convinced I become that my brain wants me to die.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Wednesday, December 3rd, 2003

Time:6:07 pm.
I wish I could trust people more easily...I hate this anxiety.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Saturday, November 29th, 2003

Subject:I just want to stay home and watch Braveheart
Time:2:01 pm.
Mood:wasted.
Well the past few days have been, for lack of a better word, wasted. I had a ton of work to get done this week but something inside my head made me forget. Like last night I was supposed to play D&D; (which I havent done in weeks) but the exhaustion of not sleeping the night befor and having spent the day riding quads had taken a toll on poor me. I think it was around 7 oclock that I fell asleep. Then Q called me at 9 and asked me if I was gonna show. lol I was actually on the verge of tears because I was, once again, too tired to be with me friends. Also, befor I became useless to the world I was talking to my friend Diane, whom I havent spoken to in months. I saw the time and realised that I havent even taken a shower yet. I told her I'd be right back and she promised shed wait....poor girl was on for 2 hours waiting for me. God dammit what the hell is wrong with me? I cant focus on anything, I cant think straight, Im A L W A Y S tired, and when I DO get to sleep I cant get out of bed!

I dont even have the mental capacity to finish this entry. I dont even remember what I wrote and when I re-read it I forget again. My brain is turning into goo. I just want to apologise to little Diane.....










































































































































































































.....I miss Julie.
Comments: Add Your Own.

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