alephbot4000: I think I'll go watch some movie I've seen a bunch of times
alephbot4000: it's too bad, this might have been the best conversation we've ever had, ever
me: well
alephbot4000: but, we can't live on the dream of what might have been
me: have a riviting time, sarcastic boy
alephbot4000: I think it's funny that you're so on this sarcasm thing
alephbot4000: since it's obvious that you're terrifically sarcastic almost constantly
me: I know. I'm hilarious.
me: (see what I did there?)
alephbot4000: yeah, you've flipped the whole thing on it's ass
alephbot4000: impressive
me: it's levels, man.
oh PS ben I still have your movie.
um. pump up the volume is a pretty annoying movie.
why is everyone in it 30?
quit yelling about suicide you asshat.
by that same logic, though, you also need white tigers.
You need this jacket in order to be cool.
My little sister called me this morning.
early.
well, pretty early.
it destoys me to hear her like that. all a mess because of some fucking factory. She says some times you can see the sun rise, but then you'll look back and someone closed the door.
it's like someone is trying to make you forget to be happy
So I say my sister things. I tell her to quit her job and not think about money right now. we'll figure it out I say because I believe that I can take care of this some how. there is an urgency about it, and I feel the words come out of my mouth without thinking because she needs to hear things and I know what those things are.
think of it as your walden pond I try to tell her some how, but it's more awkward than that.
I have no friends here
and you're not going to make them working all night with people who don't speak english. you can't go back there.
and my computer is broken
so you'll get it fixed tomorrow
what am I doing here
you're coming home soon
I'd rather be living with mom instead of this
at least you know that now
I hate this so much.
i love you so much. i'll try to come out there.
don't say that
i'm saying it and i'm going to do what i can. but you have to quit your job, ok?
ok
so I cleaned my house and typed her a letter and found her things to put in a box. from 1200 miles away she affects me like she's right here right now crying with her face in my hands. i get all swelled up and nervous and I think that I might be an ok mom some day, confused and fucked up and stupid as i am, because i love her in a way that is non stop and i can hardly even hold it in.
If you didn't go to the magical hippie commune and see Bonnie "Prince" Billy, you missed one of the most infuckingcredible shows that ever happened.
I know that I get gorgeously sentimental and I feel like my head is about to explode when I see a good show.
But holy mary motherofgod.
It was magical.
Will Oldham sang an acoustic set to us, and I was right at his feet, because it was raining.
But it was beautiful warm rain. Then the band played an electric set once the weather got nice again. It was perfect. Everyone was there, and we were sitting on this hill in the dark in the middle of the woods with this christmas light sort of atmosphere. You know what I mean? All glittering and fiery and the music sounded so so so
immediate.
This is happening right now, and this is how we express ourselves to each other because for some reason we're driven to try to express our emotions and our lives in sound. We weren't an audience, we were a force through and against which all his sounds moved. And everyone I knew was right there watching this happen, happening with it, getting all wrapped up in the noise and the woods and the rain while one of the most bizarre and brilliant musicians stood there and danced there and did his thing with his voice and his band, right there, right for me, and I remembered that I
fucking.
love.
life.
In loving memory of amazing GA man, Mr. Ray Charles
1930 - 2004.
His voice is so beautiful I once wrote that it made me want to put my hands in his mouth. Every drink I drink I'll drink to you.
God is love.
Love is blind.
Ray Charles is blind.
Ray Charles is God.
Gmail rules. Suck it, moveable type.
Bonnie 'Prince' Billy is playing at the Orange Twin... commune? Compound? Conservation community... something where there will be weed and probably paintings. They're charging a shit ton of money to park if you don't carpool.
Way to make unpopular kids feel bad in an attempt to save the environment. I hope it was worth the potential years of emotional turmoil, hippie.
Actually fuck em, cause they can get a shuttle from this one vegan restaurant. Apparently there is going to be swimming.
Shuttle = skinny weird guy in giant station wagon, I bet.
My house is freezing and smells like smoke. I think my liver hurts. I love today already.
oh yay now my new email address is meltingdolls@gmail.com
so like would it hurt to write me once in awhile?
I am not the sort of girl who likes to constantly shove my political agenda down your throat, because I'd rather shove booze down your throat and go swimming with you, but this is a seriously brilliant ad.
There is this person in my building who has had the same horrible wretching cough since I moved in.
He sounds like he's trying to expel a midget from his lungs.
Maybe I will go bring him a book to read and some stamps as he bravely battles his emphysema and also rumatoid arthritis.
Or maybe I'll go rent the amazing hit series 24 and reno 911 and try not to think about the debt I'm in, but how I really need to finish this fort I've started in my living room which requires a fair amount of money and personal attention.
there is a loud truck down stairs and i'm about to throw rocks at it sos it goes elsewhere. what would jesus do?
TURN THE LOUD TRUCK INTO A GIANT PILE OF NACHOS and feed the starving children of mexico
is what
The word "Dallas" basically means "slutty white trash."
unfortunatly, that last post can only mean one thing: I am sitting here at one a.m. doing a google search for "uncle jesse."
Get out of my google search for uncle jesse, rebecca ramon stamos.
You don't know just extremely how much anti actually kicks ass in real life.
It's true.
He does.
He's just as funny as his writing, only it's animated. He's a total fucking gentleman besides and he is so easy to hang out with. I'm lucky to know him. I'm lucky that when I call him from the Denver airport and say "um, uhh, I'm gonna be in L.A. in a few hours..." he jumps in and says he'll meet me at the airport and do I need a place to stay. Then we throw down and watch skate boarding videos and smoke tons and drink tons and hang out tons.
Happy birthday, holms. Visit this side any time you want.
J came down last night from south carolina so I ended up standing everyone in the world up and turning my phone off and locking myself away because he is the only person who can say 10 million hours worth of things and every single second of him speaking is especially gorgeous and incredibly unclunky.
plus he sings songs in the middle of stories if he needs to. once he sang a vic chestnut song to the actual real deal vic chestnut.
We drank bloody marys and whiskey gingers and he wore rabbit ears I bought just casually sitting there like he owned the place. he caught on when the bar tender acted like an arrogant ox faced moron who snapped his opinion at me like I'm Just Some Girl who doesn't know what's up.
being a hot bar tender doesn't make you exempt from paying a little attention.
well he's gone so my phone is back on and you can call me if you're so inclined.
I'm going to go outside and lay somewhere warm and make it feel like a sunday.
bunny: me and mega man were out a club that we wanted to puke on the dance floor of
c rabbit: don't drink too much water, or youll just be sicker
bunny: cause it was a drunk slutz club
bunny: so i drank long island ice teas and jager and beer and also vodka and i think like so much beer i can't see
c rabbit: shove a phenergan up your ass and go back to bed
bunny: and scotch
c rabbit: it'll stop the convulsing
bunny: its fun i'm charles fucking bukowski
c rabbit: Salt Lake City sucks ass
c rabbit: there arent any city buildings
bunny: doy
c rabbit: well wtf?
bunny: they don't want anythiung to compete with the walt disney architecture that the mormons made
bunny: will smoking a joint work?
c rabbit: for you or my depression?
bunny: i have to go have a nice emptying vomitfest
bunny: lets smoke a mornign bowl together after i puke. i'll call you.
bunny: we'll celebrate all there is to celebrate
bunny: ok vomit o'clock
bunny: i'll call you when i'm done
c rabbit: A+
c rabbit: i'm imagining you gagging
c rabbit: and it was making me very happy
bunny: wtf
c rabbit: answer
bunny: oh its not ringing
bunny mcintosh's love profile
R U a PRFECT 10 4 me?
enjoys
1. dogs getting free and running in a diagonal line very fast down the street
2. the sound of someone crying and throwing up at the same time
3. drummers who sing and play drums and sing while playing drums
4. children in helmets
5. people spitting out food into their napkin in a really nice restaurant
6. when a pen breaks in someone's mouth during an important meeting
7. Successful rescues
8. cloggers: a joke in motion
9. sluts
10. men who don't understand that their shirt says "Princess" or "Flirt" on it because they can't read english
11. people screaming the dirtiest joke I've ever heard into their cell phone in line at six flags
turn ons
1. men with effeminate necklaces
2. sex
turn offs
1. the number 20
2. lists
3. speaking or listening to french
4. people who can't rap and never fall over into a row of bikes or onto the manager of Hardees with your fists full of cheese fries on their new tie
If you asked me "what would be the perfect job for your sister?" my answer would not be "she should work in a factory."
certain people have this ability to see things with a magical lens on them. She sees the world in a real poetic sort of way. Her voice sounds like melting wax when she sings. It's warm in the way that makes you think how lucky her kids will be for getting to hear that sort of music when she is making them breakfast.
In her rollerskates.
She's like that. 
So if you asked me don't you think it's completely depressing that someone who is so hysterically funny and talented and enchanting works in a newspaper factory, I would say "yes, it is depressing."
Then I would tell you that my dad also works in a factory. He is one of the most out of his mind smart math geniuses I've ever met.
He can do any long division in his head in about 3 seconds.
Just ask him what 293845 / 293034048 is. He'll tell you.
Then, to top it off, I'd tell you that they both work the night shift so you could really get a sense of the bleakness of it all.
I want to rescue her and make every one pay some fucking attention to how her interests include
Humor, Dancing, Hopscotch, Camping, Robots, Red Rover, Rust, Excitebike, Toaster Ovens, Glitter, Shenanegans, Goings-on, Breakdance-Fighting, Water, Talking, Not Talking, Kittens
and not "working at night in a factory in the midwest for very little money."
I miss you my little baby.
I wish that all unfunny comedians / unfunny loud guys at parties would all get a drinking problem at once. Andy Rooney is the only one who should be allowed to start a sentence with "Have you ever noticed..."
Have you ever noticed how at the airport (insert generic, annoying thing about the airport that yes, we've all fucking noticed because we were also stuck in the three hour line while they cavity searched that baby)
Stand up ladies who tell topical girl humor are also really crap.
oh my god. I just got back from my HIGH SCHOOL REUNION where (insert a mild and sarcastic anecdote that has to do with someone either losing or gaining weight or being enexpectedly sucessful. Act like you we not in the "in crowd" in high school, but are now well adjusted, but jaded and clever from expierence as underdog).
White guys who tell "I'm the awkward white guy" jokes on BET are getting old.
I'm from Chicago, and (insert self deprecating story about being a worse dancer/ lay/ athlete and/ or being generally more dorky and out of touch with 'the streets' than all your friends. Then ask "why can't black people ski?" and get booed. Win the audiences affection back with a hilarious remark about black people being afraid of ghosts. Afterwards, banter with fans about how much you love their city, and also banter about how funny you think the Chapelle Show is).
People who make jokes in the work place ala David Brent and read Dilbert and find it relatable need to stop speaking up so often.
That you might be a redneck if guy is a tool too, while I'm at it.
How about this: you might be a redneck IF YOU HATE FAGS AND SINNERS AND HAVE A CONFEDERATE FLAG IN YOUR YARD, ASSHOLE.
Some times entire days go by and it's all very boring, and, even in the presence of my most precious and excellent friends, I feel like a cat who wants to get out of a bag.
I am listening to the new Patti Smith and I have to write about it for Flagpole.
I wanna talk to raymi. why aren't you on, minxy? I need to talk to you pronto.
How does Patti Smith manage to be such a weirdo and pull off such badassness? This isn't a melody.
HAIR UPDATE: (jesus this is fucking riveting) I dyed the front hot pink.
NOW BACK TO YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAM.
I would like to hang out with a person who wants to go to five star day and eat chicken and dumplings with me almost every day and who will pay me to teach them how to dance. Any style at all.
This song just got good.
This post is dedicated to link boy 2004.
Oh yes. Everyone go to the 40 Watt tonight at 10. Venice is Sinking is a really fucking awesome band, and they're playing 1st. And buy me a drink if you see me.
there's something deeper afoot here, but i'm too goddam stupid to figure it out.
-scarnsworth
This will get you in good with Jesus.
"
AOLIM me: Agentcrusher
THIS IS MY REAL DAD
Coachella Review
Blonde Redhead
Patti Smith
this is a new era
this is our gentle introduction
this is who i want to read me to sleep
this is the one i want to spray paint
this is who i want to currupt
and this is my favorite blonde
this is who i ride with
this is my high school lover
this is the action
this is the point of the letters i write
this is the sound of the aphonic
this is what being shocked feels like
this is the hijinx
this is priceless
this is sybaritic
this is my unfantasy
this side up
this is
this is my Sister
this is a prank call
and this is like a cat
this is sanctity
perhaps you'd prefer model X44807
this is not very afraid
this is part of the solution
this is television
this is the one and only
this is the current discourse
this is enchanting
this is communists in the summer house
this is electric sexy
this is the sort of thing you get lost in
this is delicious
wishlist
powered by blogger
blogorama
blogwise
cute but not hot
i am still in love with Polak
you have to click uncle jesse
home
as if morons could make it worse. morons, you cant make it any worse.
-tony
You will probably start crying cause you will realize that you have achieved every want in your life, but try and keep a slam face on.
-cocaine bref
...and you get along only when the going's good. well, fuck the going.
-tiffany is the quiet type
