I haven't turned a card in a week. Not a real one, not a virtual one. I was all set to play in Sunday's WPBT tournament but I was left out of the registration because my two email notices didn't go to frickin' Google Mail.* Oh, well...I cashed out the free $20 they gave me for signing up. That is to say, I've asked for a cashout. It hasn't shown up on Neteller yet.

It's been a busy time with the campground, the electrical upgrades, the new tent, the scooter club rally, and now a big stinkin' blues festival** coming up. And the weekend after that is Memorial Day, which is probably my biggest weekend of the year, numbers-wise.

I was gonna slide by the legally questionable game a few miles from the casa on Monday night, but by the time I hit Dallas, it was already 10PM, and I was bushed. Tomorrow is out, as I have a big presentation in the City with Big Shoulders. It's just a day trip, but it's up at 5 for a flight, and I probably won't lay my head down till midnight tomorrow. I'm still trying to decide whether to drive to the ranch tomorrow night or Thursday morning. Probably tomorrow night -- it'll be late, no traffic, etc., plus I'd rather get an extra hour of sleep on the wake-up end.

I did get a nice email from the Frenchman about a home game, but [sigh] it's on the Thursday night before Memorial Day. Guess who has to be Not-In-Dallas? I really do wish the big-forehead scientists would hurry up with either the robots or the clones. Either one will do.

An-t-way -- that's about that. See you round like a donut. If you have a game in June where you need some dead money, drop me a line, especially if it's on Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday night. Or, you know, if you feel like swinging by Somervell Co. and having a little tournament or something like that.

* Can someone explain the attraction of yet another web-based mail system? I never got the attraction of those things, but I run my life with Outlook and a Palm Tungsten, so it might be different.

** Yes, that is a very crappy logo. I whipped it up in 5 minutes with PowerPoint.

Absolutely, positively, under any circumstances imaginable -- do NOT fuck with the Scots.

Argylls fight hand to hand in Iraq

SCOTTISH troops fixed bayonets and fought hand to hand with a Shi’ite militia in southern Iraq in one of their fiercest clashes since the war was declared more than a year ago, it was reported last night.

Soldiers from the Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders mounted what were described as "classic infantry assaults" on firing and mortar positions held by more than 100 fighters loyal to the outlawed cleric Moqtada al-Sadr, according to military sources.

At least 20 men from al-Sadr’s army were believed killed in more than three hours of fighting - the highest toll reported in any single incident involving British forces in the past 12 months.

Nine fighters were captured and three British soldiers injured, none seriously.

"It was very bloody and it was difficult to count all their dead," one source was quoted as saying. "There were bodies floating in the river."

The Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders were drawn into the fighting when soldiers in two Land-Rovers were ambushed on Friday afternoon about 15 miles east of the city of Amara. The soldiers escaped, only to be ambushed a second time by a larger group of militia, armed with machine-guns, rocket-propelled grenades and mortars.

Reinforcements were summoned from the Princess of Wales’s Royal Regiment at a base nearby. "There was some pretty fierce hand-to-hand fighting with bayonets fixed," the source added. "There were some classic assaults on mortar positions held by the al-Sadr forces."

Official spokesman Major Ian Clooney confirmed the Mehdi army "took a pretty heavy knocking", but refused to specify tactics. "This was certainly an intense engagement," he added.

OK, now that's carrying the classic Brit understatement to an extreme.

Halverson, since you can't make the big hoe-down / clambake / barn-dance in August, promise me that you'll go see the Gourds in a couple-three weeks. I've personally never seen the Gourds live, but that is explained by the fact that I work very damn hard at two different jobs. That's no real excuse, but what's a man gonna do?

While you're there, please Please PLEASE look up Jack Sparks and get him to sign a Grainbelt Premium longneck for me. While he's signing the bottle, maybe you could ask him if, you know, it might be worth it for the two of you to kinda sneak off, you know, just "call in sick from the road" sneak off, on a Thursday night and come down to Texas for the August shindig and yall could split the gas money and I'll get yall some free musician food since Jack is the most brilliant music writer in the part of the world that matters and you are a pretty durn cool guy. You don't even have to pack a tent -- I'll give yall one.

Was it just me, or did the Sopranos ridiculous Bobby Ewing dream episode suck to high holy hell last night?

My theory is that the artiste' types, who think they're giving us all some kind of sociology lesson, just wanted to make James Gandolfini get on a horse, and then put that horse inside his house. That's pretty much what I thought about last night's waste of an hour of my life -- a big pile of horsecrap.

All in all, just about as dumb as a box of rocks.

Deadwood was good, though. "We're forming a government." Calamity Jane is still my favorite, though. She cracks me up.

Great news, my friends! The lineup for Raz on the Braz 2004 will include the following headliners:

I am a lucky, Lucky, LUCKY man. I hope my Ft. Worth, Houston, Austin and San Antonio* friends can find the time to come hang out under the stars and the pecan trees. Jane, I've got a Luxury Tent with your name on it...say the word, and it's all yours. You're the only frostback I know with an ounce of musical taste.

I know at least two Minnesotans that would dig this, an LA limousine liberal, an Ohio Mr. Sensitive, one lousy stinkin' NooYawker, and various and sundry others. I'll buy your first bottle of SoCo, Big Al...just bring some of those chicks you're always photographing, and set them loose in their halter tops. Felicia, you stay away -- we don't need no damn WCPs running the fish off the table [I'm kidding!]. You see, I think I'm gonna set up a Texas Hold 'Em tent, and invite all comers -- a No-Limit Ring Game, with a $50 buy-in, that runs all damn weekend. I've got an extra wall tent that will serve that purpose admirably. All I need is an 8 ft. table and some chips.

* I quit asking all my dull-ass Dallas friends, since, you know, it's [whine]HOT[/whine] and they might sweat, and it will ruin their hair gel, and their mascara might run, and worst of all, they might miss something happening in Dallas. Except for the Senator...he'll hang with you. He's a damn trooper, and I love him all the more for it.

Yeah, I'm not posting anything new. I've got a big motorsickle rally going on, with booze and cigars and the greatness of Terry Rasor playing tonight. I worked on tents and electricity till about 3 PM, then I started drinking beer. Too bad I forgot to eat. So I'm gonna go fix a coupla sandwiches and nice glass of tea...have a nap...and start drinking again.

See yall whenever...