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about Heiko Hebig
Heiko Hebig
Heiko Hebig lives and works in Hamburg, Germany.
While I have been affiliated with various Internet consultancies and software companies, opinion expressed here is strictly private. Questions? Comments? Send me an .
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VeriSign acquires Jamba


VeriSign has agreed to acquire Jamba, the Berlin-based wireless content and services provider, for US$ 273 million in cash and stock. Jamba was founded by the Samwer Brothers (of Alando / eBay Germany fame) as a joint venture with debitel, ElectronicPartner and MediaMarkt/Saturn in 2000. Back in 1999 the brothers sold their auctioning platform Alando to eBay for US$ 43 million in eBay stock.
This acquisition seems to be an odd choice for VeriSign, but I guess they have some ideas.

Ringtone revenues


Factlet: EMI Recorded Music, the third-largest record company in the world (13 per cent market share), already makes an annual Euro 15 million in revenues from mobile phone ringtones. [via DMC Weblog, one of Germany's best original content blogs]

Mom wants to email an attachment


This is a real story.

Disclosure: My mother is a teacher. She uses a computer (Win98) for some basic word processing tasks, she surfs the Internet and uses email to stay in touch with friends and family. She is far from being computer illiterate. She also is no expert user.

A phone call.

"Heiko, can you help me send an attachment via email?"
"Sure! I guess. What are you trying to send?"
"A class plan."
"So that would be a Word document?"
Silence.
"What program did you use to create the document?"
"I just typed the class plan as I always do."
"Do you sit in front of the computer?"
"No, not yet, but let me start the computer and call you right back."
Click.

Two minutes later. Another phone call.

"Heiko, I am calling you from the office now."
"Good. Do you have the email program open?"
"Uhm, no. I am looking at the class plan that I want to send."
"You don't need to have that open. I only need to know where you saved it. Do you know where you saved it?"
"I just saved it as I always do."
"Uhm, in My Documents?"
"How do I know?"
*Sigh* "Close the document. Close the word processor. We'll search it."
"Ok. Everything is closed now."
"What is the name of the file?"
"I don't know. I just saved it."
"So you did not give the document a name before saving it?"
"Oh, yes, class plan!"
"There we go. Do you see a yellow item on your desktop, with 'My Documents' written underneath? If you do, doubleclick that folder."
"Ok."
"Now look carefully at all those items in that folder. Or better, sort by date."
"How do I do that?"
[long explanation of how to display different icon types, lists, and sorting files follows]
"AH! I see the document now!"
"Good. So we now know where the file is located. We need that info when you actually want to attach the file to your email. Close everything you have opened and get connected to the Internet."
"OK, connecting."
"Now, what program do you usually use for emailing? The email client?"
"I don't really know what you mean. I just go to email."
"What exactly do you do when you 'go to email'?"
"I just type www.gmx..."
"OK, so no client. Webmail. Fine. Go to GMX and log in."
"Logging in now."
"So we want to compose a new email message. Just do what you always do. Address, subject line, and so on. Then click the button to attach the file."
"What does the button look like?"
*Sigh* "Uhm, I don't use GMX personally. Maybe it looks like a paper clip. Do you see a paper clip? Or maybe it says 'attach'. Or 'add files'. Do you see anything like that?"
[five minutes of clicking on every button on the GMX interface follow]
"Oh! That's it! It now says 'attachments' in a new small window!"
"Great. Is there a 'Browse' button? Just read to me what the small window says."
"... can use files from your GMX folder or local files from your computer ..."
"F%$#! Why do they have to make it so complicated. Try to click on 'local files'. Do you get another small window?"
"Let me try. Yes. Now I see something. 'Temp4289023' and an 'Open' button."
"Uh. Can you scroll up or down to get to 'My Documents'?"
"I don't know. How would I do that?"
"Good Lord. There has to be a... scroll bar. Or a folder with an arrow. Or something to scroll up and down and move through the... folder hierarchy."
[trial and error clicking, then the worst thing happened, my mother clicks outside the upload window]
"Now the small window is gone."
"WHAT?"
"I don't see the small window anymore. I just see the email."
*Sigh* "Do you know Alt+Tab?"
"No. Where is that?"
"Never mind."
[...]

I didn't succeed. I failed miserably. Apparently, the task of uploading a file into a web-based email client is way too complicated to be explained over the phone to an non-expert computer user. Well, maybe I should have created a GMX account, but even then, some behavior can't be duplicated (such as the initial directory a computer displays when clicking on the 'Browse' button). No wonder so many parents still prefer the fax machine over email.

How did they story end? My sister actually managed to sit through the ordeal since she also is a frequent GMX user and knows their interface by heart. Thank you, sister. And I'm sorry I was no help, Mom.

Kamikaze pigeons


Terrorists must not read this: Plan for kamikaze pigeons to bomb Russia
What good are big brother surveillance, passenger data screening and biometric passports if the real enemy turns out to be... germ warfare suicide pigeons?!

Euro 2004


My heart is beating faster. My blood pressure is rising. My hands are starting to sweat. Only 19 days to kick-off.

Retro wars


time_retro_cover.jpg

Time: Retro Modernism. Eeeek. Me wants. How retro could I go?

Testing PubSub


PubSub future search:

Creating a PubSub subscription is like running a web search, except the results are returned when they happen - in the future.
Sounds somewhat similar to Google News Alerts with a focus on the blogosphere. [via Loic]

Blogger wanted


Nico is looking for a Hamburg-based student with journalistic ambitions for a web log publishing project.

Monaco racing, Montoya style


Loud-mouth Montoya just gave us a showcase example of his miserable driving skills. If knocking out the race leader is his only talent, he should maybe convert to boxing.

G-Move


Rumor has it that Hamburg celebrated the 10th annual G-Move yesterday. G-Move is Loveparade light: less people, even more desperate outfits, B and C- class Trance and Happy Hardcode DJs of unknown descent and with little to no relevance whatsoever. To underline the event's (un)importance, the city decided to relocate the parade from the center of town to an unpopulated industrial area close to the harbor where 100,000 whistle-blowing ravers could dance happily without disturbing the general public. Rave on.

Hail thee President


Today Germany elects its new President. Not everyone in Germany has the privilege to participate, so the task is up to a chosen few, the federal assembly of 1,205 official delegates. Does anyone really care?
The President's political power is very limited, the role is largely ceremonial, and the outcome is almost always clear from the start. Our mighty political parties went through extensive public mud-wrestling in order to nominate the candidates, completely detached from public opinion and influence, in a struggle to position (and deposition) certain characters for future power struggles. The whole Presidential election gamble is so out of whack that even attempts to spice it up by staging outrage about well-known facts (come on, guys, everyone knew about Filbinger's past, and he's been a delegate for several times now, unanimously nominated by all parties involved) only have one effect: frustration and nausea. So please excuse me for a minute, I need to throw up now.

Palme D'Or


Fahrenheit 9/11 wins Palme D'Or Award at Cannes . Asked how Bush would react to Moore winning such a prestigious award, Moore said: "Would he even know what this is?"

The power of hyperlinks


Barry Ritholtz: Whats Wrong with the Music Industry in One Long Sentence

Wedding bells


Oh such a sweet couple. What a nice church. All those flowers. Royals, statesmen and celebrities. That Rolls Royce. The wedding dress. She even smiled. But come on, Prince Felipe, that's the best kiss you can do? I think I want my money back.

Happy Birthday, Haiko


Happy birthday, Mr. Hebig, happy birthday to you.

Top reason for not seeing Troy


In response to Suw's Top five reasons for going to see Troy I present my top reason for not seeing the movie:

  1. Brad Pitt in a skirt
Has Jennifer Aniston ever approved this outfit?

Butt grillin'


Beer Butt Grill

Having a BBQ? You need the Beer Butt Chicken Cooker. [via email from Ryan]

Blog wisdom


Hugh Macleod: Darwinian Blogging

Blogs convey Darwinian-friendly info from producer to customer better than other media.

To The 5 Boroughs


The Beastie Boys are back. Their new album, To The 5 Boroughs, is scheduled for release in mid-June - six years (has it really been that long?) since their last album. The new single, Ch-Check It Out, is pretty dope. Ch-Check It Out!

Weird Link of the Day


Depending on where you work and who is looking on your computer screen, this link might not be appropriate: Mona & Misty

Leaves me puzzled.

Spinning off Joey


Defamer previews "Joey".

Trust us, we were prepared to hate Joey, who is dumb, and whose sister has fake tits. But based on the pilot, we kind of like the dumb guy with the sister with the fake tits. God help us, we laughed.

Gmail give-away


Anyone daring for a Gmail account? Be nice, I'll invite you.

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