Simon World

Enemablog

There will be no Enemablog this week, mostly because I am single-handedly saving the world from a fate far worse than reality TV. Expect regular blogging, including the oh-so-popular Asia by blog and Enemablog, to return next week. In the meantime, why don't you leave your computer and go outside, or read a book, or even just watch some TV? There's a big world out there, people.

Takeover

Jim at Snooze Button Dreams has a great blog and not just because he links to me a lot. He's almost like a brother to me, even though we don't have the same parents and that I already have a brother and that I've never met him. OK, so we're not such a close family. But he's co-anchor of Memeblog so it's close enough.

Nevertheless I hereby announce a world-first:

Hong Kong - Simon of the famous blog Simon World has again set the pace by announcing a brave and daring new venture. In a packed press conference he announced he is launching a takeover bid for the Snooze Button Dreams blog. "He gets more readers, he's had an Instalanche," said Simon.

The offer is a whopping 1.3 Simon World posts per 1 SBD post. Simon declared that he is aiming for nothing less than 100% control of his target. "I see great synergies between our two sites. Working in two opposite time zones, together we can create the world's best 24 hour slice-of-life with a sprinkle of politics blog. With my proven management skills and ability to cut costs while growing businesses, this is a win-win situation."

When asked about potential job cuts, Simon responded "Look, I won't lie. In any merger there are areas of overlap the result in lost jobs. It is not something I look forward to. However we will work hard to find other opportunities within the company and only resort to firing incompetent hacks and deadwood as a last resort."

Commenting on the move, Simon's Mum said, "What's he doing now?" Mrs M, an analyst, said "Great, now he can spend even more time on the friggin' website." Glenn Reynolds added "I see a lot of benefits from this move. It could well result in this new blog joining my roll or even getting a link."

Under International Blogging Law, the target blog has 7 days to respond to the offer. Section 17.21.a states "Anything goes", usually interpreted by blog lawyers as meaning there are no rules and making their clients wonder why there are so many other rules and sections.

Crazy

Thanks to Charles for pointing out this article:

The biggest study of global mental illness shows that rates vary greatly - with 4.3 per cent of people living in Shanghai showing symptoms of mental disorders in the past year, compared with 26 per cent in the United States...In the US, more rich, suburban patients are being treated for mild mental illnesses than are poor people with serious mental illness, said Professor Kessler.

Those interviewed in Japan reported a 5 per cent rate of anxiety disorders, for instance, and in China less than 4 per cent, against 18 per cent in the US. But Professor Kessler said reported rates in Japan and China were "implausibly low", as Japan has the world's highest use of anti-anxiety drugs called benzodiazepines and China has the world's highest rate of suicide. (my emphasis)

Around the world

Met her last night in trendy and swinging London town. I promised I wouldn't divulge that she is extremely beautiful, smart, funny, interesting and one damn fine woman. She and Mr. Y are obviously happy and in love but not in that nauseating "schmooky-pooh" way. No, they are mature and comfortable which each other with a kind of happiness that is rare to find. Now if I wasn't happily married and if Mr. Y hadn't been such a good bloke (and there with us the whole time) I would have been seriously contemplating switching the Aussie charm lever to maximum...

The conversation was wide and broad, always interesting and never-faltering. Even though it was our first meeting it was like we were long time friends, which (in a manner) we are. If blogging has achieved nothing else I feel vindicated that it introduced me to people as wonderful as Helen.

Did I mention she's a complete honey?

/mutual admiration society.

Jobs and work

A couple of weeks back I was in a lift with a co-worker. Let's call them X. X's job is in sales and was complaining how hard her job is. X was rushing off to a meeting and had been out three times that week entertaining clients until 1am. So the complaint can be summarised thusly: X finds it difficult to spend night after night indulging the company expense account at fancy restaurants and bars in the company of men who no doubt flirt outrageously with her. Please control your sympathy.

I bit my tongue. Working in a coal mine is physical hard work. Working as a social worker is emotional hard work. Working as a surgeon is dexterous hard work. Working in an air-conditioned city office and going out for a living is not hard work. X really needs to get some perspective and perhaps a clue.

Segregation

At work we sit in rows in an open plan format. There are no cubicles, just long desk that seat 6 people each in front of a few computer screens and with phone boards and a small chest of drawers seperating each pair. This makes for little privacy but a social and interesting work environment, full of lively discussion. Either by co-incidence or design, all the gweilos sit in one particular row, known as the Gweilo Ghetto. There are a couple of others at a distant desk, but otherwise we're all nicely contained within one row. It tends to be the loudest and most boisterous area of the room (there are a total of 7 rows in the room).

I just don't know who's protecting whom and from what.

Read this now

If you only read one thing this year, you really should read more. However if you only read one blog entry this year (excluding this one) you need to read Ace's adventures in chasing blogging stardom.

Oh, and I'm meeting Helen for dinner tonight and you're not. A gentleman never tells.

There's a few more posts trickling out over the next few days and more regular posting will resume next week.

Seeing

I am sick of tired of women in the office and on the street mentally undressing me all the time.

They should at least have the courtesy to ask.

Movie review: Swan Lake

In part of our ongoing series of reviews, today I bring you a review of Barbie of Swan Lake. This is the third in the series of Barbie movies that has taken the little girl world by storm. Featuring the voice of Kelly Sheridan as Barbie and Kelsey Grammer of the baddie, Rothbart, this follows the same formula as Nutcracker and Rapunzel (the first two in the series). The story itself is sandwiched between a short vignette of Barbie mentoring young Kelly, in order to teach an important life lesson. Sort of like that TV show Doogie Howser, MD, where the young Doogie would type the show's moral/theme just to make sure you understood what it was all about.

This movie continues using the London Symphony Orchestra and the NY City Ballet. This will result in you accompanying your daughters in a rough approximation of the ballet appearing on the screen. They will be in the Barbie role, while you will be the Prince. DO NOT attempt to play the Barbie role yourself. The music is actually very good and faithful to the original. The ballet is good too, I think. It's hard to tell when you've got a unicorn doing pirouettes.

The plot is simple: Barbie plays Odette, who finds herself in the magic forest, best friends with a unicorn and trying to save the Fairy Queen and the cute animals from the clutches of the evil Rothbart and his nasty daughter. The baddie turns Barbie into a swan but luckily Prince Whats-his-name narrowly avoids killing his one true love and in fact helps save the day. Yes, they live happily ever after with a magical wedding scene. What they don't show is the messy divorce 6 years later when the Prince goes and shacks up with that tart from Shrek.

The reviewing panel has a range of views on this one. The younger members like it, placing it somewhere between Lilo and Stitch and Pochahontas on the rotation pile. For adults the music, reasonable story and adequate direction helps alleviate the similarities with the oft-watched others in this series. The Barbie crew know they're on a good thing and stick to the tried and true formula.

I rate it 3.5 stars out of 5.

Distance and space

I know there's some strange history behind the layout of the QWERTY keyboard. But why is the "S" button right next to the "D" button? Control-S = "save". Control-D = "delete". The world would be a happier place if "S" was a long, long way from "D".

Technology

They can send a rocket millions of kilometres and land it precisely on a certain point on the moon. Now we use that precision in a technology parents around the world would find helpful - a child finder. Just like those clickers you can get so you can always find the car in a large car park, this little gizmo emits a special sound to help locate that kid of yours that always wonders out of sight. Or use it on the special "quiet" mode, which negates your child's vocal chords so the whole shopping centre can avoid the anguished moans of a child denied the latest toy/lolly/ride. An optional extra is an electric shock, for those special times. Sounds are like mobile phone ringtones, downloadable at very inexpensive rates. Upgrade to the new version with strong electromagnets that enable you to "retrieve" your child without leaving the comfort of where you are.

Available now from all good pet shops.

Admission

Yes, it was me.

Loans

China officially admits the top 4 state owned banks have bad (non-performing) loans of about 19% of all loans. Unofficially it is estimated at 40%. China is at the top of a decade long economic boom, and almost half of its bank loans have gone bad. Japan took a decade of economic stagnation to get even close. They officially peaked at about 8.5% of assets (loans) in March 2002.

What the hell will happen if China hits bad times?

Enemablog

There will be no Enemablog this week or next, mostly because I'm on a clandestine mission for a foreign Government that I'm not permitted to discuss. Instead why not sample some of the very fine blogs on the assorted blog rolls on the right hand side. All are tried and testing by your truly.