Fri 04
Gossip Roundup: Clinton's Type Is Small, Too #
• Names & Faces: Ray Bradbury, author of Fahrenheit 451: "Michael Moore is a dumb [expletive], that's what I think. He stole my title and changed the numbers without ever asking my permission.". . . Seymour Hersh's ninth book, Chain of Command, about Abu Ghraib, out this fall. [WP]
• Inside the Beltway: EPA seeks chiefs of "sexual orientation" with "intimate knowledge". . . Kissenger gossiped during recorded conversations. . . WWII Memorial cuts "so help us God." [WT]
• Page Six: McAuliffe not replaced, just provided with Kerry-loyalist John Sasso. [NYP]
• Liz Smith: Sally Bedell Smith book on the Clintons due in 2007. [NYP]
• Cindy Adams: Clinton's memoir is in small type to reduce page count. [NYP]
Election Recycling: Kerry's Sweet Behind Edition #
• Bush, Pope meet at Vatican: "We appreciate the strong symbol of freedom that you have stood for and we recognize the power of freedom to change societies and to change the world." [NYT and WP]
• Bush, in Europe, seeks support for Iraq. [NYT and WSJ]
• Tenet resigns. [WP and NYT and LAT]
• Tenet's legacy is uneven. [WP and WP and NYT and WT]
• Democrats call for reform beyond Tenet. [WP and NYT and WSJ]
• Senate Intelligence Committee report faults CIA for Iraq information. [NYT]
• Enter John McLaughlin. [NYT]
• Bush vows to "fully cooperate" with Plame investigation. [WP]
Read more...
Hit Parade: No Peace, No Justice #
The Hit Parade ranks stories other people tuned into. Chart placement is determined by the Hardball Briefing, Henry Seltzer and our whim. Arrows indicate movement since last week.
1. ↑ Bush leaves country. Vacation with friends.
2. ↔ Bush consults attorney, press trips over Tenet's resignation on the way to the story.
3. ↓ World War II Memorial fills space. Allows for another Brokaw, Dole reunion.
4. ↑ Bush-McCain speculation. Fearing apocalypse, liberal media wails.
5. ↓ Sharpton joins CNBC. Economic indicators go haywire.
6. ↑ Scott Peterson's trial begins and somehow Martha made an appearance. Scientists search for tear in celebrity-justice continuum.
7. ↑ Chalabi this, Chalbi that. Back to Peterson already.
8. ↓ Representatives reject amendment for emergency congressional replacements, call for post-doomsday democracy. Iraq volunteers to serve as provisional authority.
9. ↑ Dan Rather to interview Clinton for book promotion. Like Walters and Hillary, preaching to the choir.
10. ↑ Federal judge strikes down Partial Birth Abortion Ban Act; Bush and Kerry campaigns begin the process of converting issue into votes.
Wonk'd: A Little Shorter Than Usual Edition #
Sightings of obscure TV news dreamboats, war criminals, and other famous-for-D.C. types are sent in by readers. Send yours to . In this issue: Totenberg, Russert, Donvan, Rumsfeld, Gephardt, Clancy, Zinni.
(5/21) saw nina totenberg in terminal A of national airport getting yogurt from the crappy coffee place. she would be completely unrecognizable sans sensible navy blue suit and hair helmet, should she ever want to go incognito. apparently she wants to bask in her famous-for-dc self for an audience of airtran riders. (5/26) Saw David Gergen in front of the Willard hotel. A big week for pasty nerd sightings.
Read more...
Campaign Commercials Not Approved By Candidates: Don't Be An Ass #
I hate you and I hate. . . your ass face!
Save America from President Dickhead [Black Star Blog]
The Huh-Huh Files: Don't Forget the Lube #
Sen. John F. Kerry accused President Bush today of implementing a "back door draft" by extending soldiers' tours of duty and overburdening a military that is already stretched thin by the war in Iraq.
A back door draft? Stretching our soldiers thin, you say? Insert don't ask don't tell joke here. . . and I do mean insert.
Catch us next week at the Ha-Ha Hole, thankyouverymuch.
Kerry Attacks Bush Record on Military [LAT]
Campaign Fashion Notes: Battle of the Hats #
The official Kerry trucker hat is bad enough.
But this. . .
You cannot convince me that anyone who wears these hats would actually vote. . . I mean, they still think it's 2001, right?
Embroidered Mesh Hat [KerryGear.com]
Trucker Hats [One Horse Shy]
RELATED: And With That, the Gawker Media Empire Disappeared, Never to Be Heard From Again [Wonkette]
Sponsorienne: Wonkette Tells All #
Sadly, we here at Wonkette can't depend on slutty Hill staffers to generate revenue. We have to go out and whore ourselves. But with sponsors like these, it doesn't feel like prostitution, it feels like. . . like love. We want to love you, too. Info here.
• Cooking with Grease by Donna Brazile: Stirring the Pots in American Politics
• Banana Republicans: How the Right Wing is turning American into a One Party State
• Americans for Healthcare Bridge the Health Care Gap on June 19
• Representative Jim Moran: Breakfast with Howard Dean June 4 -- You're Invited!
• Barbara Boxer: Progressive Champion & United States Senator
• Act for Love: Personals for Activists
• Boot Blunt: Newberry for Congress
• Loveinwar.com: Dating for the Agitated
Thu 03
Thursdays with Tina: Guilt Edition #
Wonkette's weekly service to our readers: Translating Tina Brown's Thursday column in the Washington Post. We understand it so that you don't have to.
| Tina says | Tina means |
| In her Sunday column in the New York Times, Maureen Dowd spoke wistfully of the "moral clarity" of World War II. | I guess it's safe to admit I read her by now. |
| In the Hamptons on Memorial Day weekend, most of the pundit class spent evenings arguing about exit strategies in Iraq and then beating a nostalgic retreat to watch "The Longest Day," "Patton" and "Saving Private Ryan." | That's what it sounded like through the window, anyway. The surf is so damn noisy. |
| Of course, the blinding moral clarity about entering World War II is a lot more blinding in retrospect than it was at the time of entry. | I believe you can be blinded more than once. Also: They still aren't editing me. |
| All it means is that when we turn on the TV and see the smiling photo ops of the new Iraqi government looking as tidy and well-organized as the Swiss, it's hard to buy into it. | The Tivo recorded "The Sound of Music" instead of "Aaron Brown" again. |
| In New York, what's souring the psyches of baby boomers is the sullen sense that they did have a whiff of their own Greatest Generation moment, after 9/11 -- and then, too soon, were cheated out of it. | It is, in fact, possible for New Yorkers to become more self-centered. |
Read more...
The Many Moods of George Tenet #
Would you buy a used yellowcake rumor from this man?
A Special Flash Tribute to George Tenet [Right Side Redux]
Meee-ow! Hot Virtuecrat S&M Rumors! #
If we had known how much hilarity could come out of tossing out accusations that Bill Bennett visited a dominatrix, we totally would have run with the torrent of anonymous emails we got on the subject. Sadly, the Gawker Media Empire Legal Adviser (a.k.a. this guy in Denton's building who's watched a lot of "Law and Order") told us we should probably lay off, unless we wanted "call Bill Bennett for comment" . . . whatever that means. (Seriously: "Call Bill Bennett for comment"! We're dying.)
In any case, Calico Cat has been beating the Bennett "scoop" like it was a hypocritical morals czar. Or something.
Read more...
Taking "Indecision 2004" a Little Literally #
JON STEWART FOR PRESIDENT [Miss Wit]
Letting the Words Speak for Themselves #
WH spokesman Scott McClellan responds to press questioning: What part of "unchallenged" don't you understand?
Q. Okay. Since the White House Press Office has undoubtedly learned what Al Gore said and shouted at length in New York, you may also be aware that columnist John Podhoretz has written and the New York Post has published the statement, and I quote, "It is now clear that Al Gore is insane." (Laughter.)And my question, does the White House, with a lofty "no comment," want to let that statement stand unchallenged, or how can you disagree with Podhoretz?
MR. McCLELLAN: Les, I've already addressed this issue of his speech the other night and I'll leave it where I said it.
May 28 , 2004 Press Briefing [WhiteHouse.gov via PressGaggle.com]
Spelling Bee: War of Words #
Blogger Mr. Sun aims to be the Donald Rumsfeld of the National Spelling Bee, and poor young Marshall Winchester has been called up from the North Carolina spelling bee national guard. . .
Good morning, Marshall.I trust you slept well. Let me go over your appointments for today. Today, you have one, and only one appointment . . . with destiny. You didn't start this war. Scripps Howard did. But, by God, you shall end it. . .
Read more...
Tenet Resigns: Has Rove Risen Again? #
Karl Rove's evil genius has been called into question lately, but with this Tenet thing, we think he's getting his game back on. The tossed-off announcement? Brilliant. Timing the announcement so that the all the varsity league White House correspondents are already in Rome? A risky move, but we think it'll pay off: They could come racing back, but unless Tenet has a semen-stained dress lying around somewhere, we doubt it.
Of course, you don't always need to rig things so that you're playing the B team. Sometimes the B team is already playing. A Wonkette correspondent writes with this addition to the pantheon of Great Moments in Cable News Coverage:
[The MSNBC] bubble-headed daytime anchor mentioned the news [about Tenet] and turned to the analyst and said, "This comes out of the blue." Well, sure, maybe if you haven't been reading the papers for the last 3 years. . .
Read more...
Bush Presser Post-Script #
On his way into Marine One, Bush thought of something he forgot to mention at the press conference with the Australian PM: CIA director George Tenet has resigned for "personal reasons."
No biggie. Not like it has to do with anything. Nope. Bush then turned back around and shouted over his shoulder, "Oh, and I totally knew about 9/11! Later."
Bush: CIA Director George Tenet Resigns [AP/Yahoo]
Gossip Roundup: A Pretty Modest Girl Edition #
• Heard on the Hill: Oklahoma Republican Rep. John Sullivan has staff call with soft questions during radio interviews. . . Wanda Baucus avoids prosecution; to attend anger-management. . . Mike Myers visits the Hill. [Roll Call]
• Inside the Beltway: White House to provide female reporters with veils for Pope visit. . . Bush hears man's support of medical marijuana. . . [WT]
• Inside Politics: Biden's commencement goes way of Russert's. . . Roger Ailes replies to LAT editor John Carroll's criticism: "He treated Fox News Channel worse in his newspaper than he treated the terrorists who recently beheaded an American. But of course, he sees Fox News as more dangerous." [WT]
Read more...
Election Recycling: I've Never Been Angry with the French Edition #
• Bush consults attorney to possibly represent him in CIA leak investigation. [WP and BG]
• South Dakota win sparks Democratic optimism about gaining majority in House. [WP and WSJ and WT and NYT]
• Bush asks for patience, compares war on terror with WWII, explains challenge as "the storm in which we fly." [WP and NYT]
• BC04 invites congregations to engage in outreach operations; critics say it violates church and state separation; churchgoing closely connected with voting, according to study. [NYT and BG and USAT]
Read more...
Wed 02
Bet You Miss That Fifth Amendment Now #
So President Bush has "consulted" a lawyer about the investigation into who leaked Valerie Plame's name to press. Everyone's been very careful to note that it doesn't mean Bush is target in the probe. Well. We wish him luck, because it's really hard to seem like an evil-fighting man of the people when you've got a criminal attorney on retainer.
Bush Consults Lawyer for CIA Leak Case [Fox News]
Bush: Likes a Man in Uniform #
It would be less disturbing if it didn't look like he was actually doing "The Hustle."
New York Review of Books: Worth Reading to the End #
If you make it 5,300 words through Mark Danner's 5,500 word piece on "The Logic of Torture" in the latest New York Review of Books, past the discussion of "the history of 'extreme interrogation' since the late Fifties" and "shame multipliers," you will be rewarded with a quotation from "The Daily Show's" Rob Corddry. Uhm, OK. We hear that Andrew Hacker's upcoming piece on inner-city crime has a comment from Mayor McCheese.
The Logic of Torture [NYRB]
The "Hardball" Team Takes the Holiday Inn #
Lock the minibars, keep an eye on those little bars of soap -- these guys know how to party!
CableNewser Catches the Matthews Momentum [Wonkette]
Bitter. B-I-T-T-E-R. Bitter. #
As you know, the National Spelling Bee is being held this week. The Spelling Bee is, of course, where they send smart, socially-challenged young people to fuck them up even more. It is also where they send journalists to die.
A correspondent writes:
Just when you thought there was no glamour in the life of a political reporter, along comes. . . the National Spelling Bee. Yes, kids, if you work hard enough on the campaign trail all year, you, too, could find yourself spending hours in a dark hotel basement with no cell phone service, surrounded by borderline autistic spelling wizards and their obsessive stage-mom parents. You do get to learn exciting new words like "ullaged," "excrescency" and "kohlrabi," but good luck figuring out what the hell they mean, especially if your local speller is sufficiently smart not to need to bother asking the judges for a definition.
Read more...
CableNewser Catches the Matthews Momentum #
Brian at CableNewser takes some time out from his busy social life to deliver a couple of scoops: First, he's got May ratings for all the nets, a document that makes entertaining reading if -- like us -- you enjoy seeing Dennis Miller suffer. There's not many surprises in the ratings themselves: Fox wins. MSNBC loses. . . except "Hardball," which has bested Anderson Cooper's "360" for two months running, proving that fey, clever, and hot is really no match for insane, loud, and shameless. (Naturally, we love the show.) This leads us to CableNewser's other big scoop. . .
Read more...
Justice O'Connor Does Right by D.C. #
When Sandra Day O'Connor gave the commencement address for the Cardozo School of Law, she let those backstage know about another aspect of her public service:
[S]he talked about the cicadas currently carpeting the Washington, D.C. area. “It’s amazing, there are so many of them! I scooped them up [the shells, we assume] and put them in bags and Fedexed them to my grandchildren.”We appreciate it. Now, get started on those fucking pandas.
Graduations: Sandra Day O'Connor at Cardozo [Open All Night]
William Shakesbeare [Pandamaniadc.org]
Talk About Being Soft on Terrorism #
John Kerry introduces his proposal for a new Pastel Terror Alert System, noting that recent events may raise the threat level from "Butter" to "Mango."
Alexandra Polier: Not Too Popular with the Young People #
It's funny how publishing a 6,000 word piece on your somewhat avoidable personal media tragedy doesn't, in the end, generate much sympathy. We make one little joke about John Kerry's Monica manqué and you people respond with hilarious -- though potentially actionable -- insights on Alexandra Polier's character. Don't you realize you're supposed to feel sorry for the girl? She may never go to Davos again!
A favorite (edited), from someone who claims to have gone to school with Ms. Polier:
From: "XXXXXX@XXXXXXXX.com"
Date: June 1, 2004 5:55:37 PM EDT
Subject: RE: word upOK. I've only read the first thousand words or so. This whole thing is a fucking joke. Ego flattery - I love the part where she describes herself as the perfect political wife: "pretty, polite, informed, and inoffensive." Gotta love writers who are not only willing to flatter themselves, but able to do it excessively. I'd give her "pretty" since that's subjective. But the other adjectives strike me more as antonyms for most of her traits. And being "too ambitious" to be a political wife?? Who's the self-described socialite, who's marrying a rich Jew who lives in Kenya, whose only writing cred to date is a sleazy and name-dropping tell-all, [that's] much too long.
Read more...
Carrying Judith Miller's Laptop #
Today's NY Observer looks at the aftermath of Frank Foer's New York magazine profile of WMD inspector/NYT reporter Judith Miller. Her defenders point to Miller's death-defying reporting feats as proof of her sincerity. She's flown in rickety helicopters, survived fire-fights, talked back to Arab royalty, and -- perhaps most impressive -- "flouted Abe Rosenthal’s dictum about fucking the elephants and covering the circus." Or maybe that's a metaphor.
Read more...
Gossip Roundup: Frolicking in the Nude Edition #
• Reliable Source: Bush showcases a Taliban brick, World Trade Center steel, and Bush bobble-heads that he flicks. . . Teresa said being first lady was "worse than going to a Carmelite convent". . . Linda Tripp giving European tours, but no press coverage: "Gee, I need more ugly pictures of me." [WP]
• Heard on the Hill: Polier's article worth "considerably more" than $10,000. . . McDermott’s rival uses McDermott’s photo to raise money. . . Wanda Baucus in court today. [Roll Call]
Read more...
Election Recycling: Amen! Edition #
• Bush praises new Iraqi government, warns of continued violence: "A free Iraq in the heart of the Middle East is going to be a game-changer." [NYT and WT]
• Bush faulted for "excessive reliance on subordinates." [WP]
• Kerry talks of need to secure nuclear materials; would cancel development of new generation nuclear weapons. [WP and NYT and LAT and WSJ]
• In Europe, Bush to visit Pope, Chirac; speech to bridge World War II and Operation Iraqi Freedom. [WP]
Read more...
WH Pool Report: Otherwise Uneventful #
This White House pool report is understated.
Pool report #3The president's helicopter landed at Andrews in a gusting rain. As he stepped off, he opened his own umbrella--and it immediately popped inside out. Bush wrestled it all the way to AF1, before handing it over to the officer accompanying him, still inside out.
Take off was otherwise uneventful.
Greg Hitt
Wall Street Journal
Tue 01
Alexandra Polier! Alexandra Polier! Alexandra Polier! #
So we started that New York magazine story about the girl who might have been John Kerry's lover. . . and then we just skipped to the end. Did she do him or what, right? She did not. In fact, "In retrospect, I wonder whether I should have denied the rumor sooner or if I should have asked more clearly for advice." Huh. You think? In the end, however, she has learned some things. The state of political reporting? "Pitiful." Opposition research? "Unholy." The Internet? "Its latest tool."
Shorter Alexandra Polier: "Maybe I should have paid more attention in journalism school."
Oh, we kid. We totally owe her a drink. Do you think she might pose for some fake lesbian soft-core porn pictures?
The Education of Alexandra Polier [NY]
Wonk'd: We've Learned Our Lesson from That Whole Matthew Lesko Thing Edition #
Sightings of obscure mini-celebs, war criminals, and other famous-for-D.C. types are sent in by readers. Send yours to . In this issue: Woodruff, Rove, Stephanopoulos, Kissinger, Lockhart, Clarkson, Novak, Carville.
• I saw judy woodruff too. at national airport waiting to get picked up last sunday night [5/16] I had to keep glancing at her cause she looked familiar but I couldn't quite figure out how. she looked like some friend of my mom's from garden club or something in her boring capri pants until i realized she's on cnn. also at national on friday [5/14] I saw helen thomas sitting in this gross dark airport bar huddled over an irish coffee looking dazed at 11AM. oh and who cares about that cake love dude, warren brown, i saw him at results this morning wearing a "run against bush" tee -like his $5 cupcakes need any more publicity.
• [S]aw Karl Rove walking toward the OEB from the NEB, Monday [5/17] morning. No one with him. Considering large groups of people consider him evil incarnate . . . shouldn't Karl have a body guard?
Read more...
The Day After Tomorrow: Not Scientific, Biased #
The right-wing hate machine -- or, as we like to think of it, "the conservative irritation gadget" -- has been producing some low-level noise about last weekend's biggest, dumbest action movie, "The Day After Tomorrow." Their main complaint seems to be that it's not realistic, which will come as a surprise only to those who believe that Bruce Willis saved the world from a gigantic asteroid a few years ago. Their other complaint is that the movie is unrealistic in a way that favors Democratic policy and villainizes Republicans, which will come as as a surprise only to those believe that "The West Wing" is still just a part of a White House building.
Read more...
Mehlman: Well, He Is From Maryland #
People are saying that the most recent edition of the Washington Blade "all but outs" BC04 campaign director Ken Mehlman because it makes reference to his being "unmarried" and having "few hobbies outside politics." Sure. If being single dork who's into policy means someone in D.C. is gay, it's a wonder that the orgy at the Washington Monthly stops long enough for them to get a magazine out.
And it's not like being homosexual leads to being interested politics. If that were the case, don't you think Bush would have started paying attention by now?
Bush campaign mum on any openly gay staffers [Washington Blade via Boi from Troy]
WH Pool Report: Faith-Based Edition #
The White House pool report comes from an informant who wonders if making the pool sit through a "video presentation and spiritual music" means that the admin, having given up on spinning the press corps, is now just trying to hypnotize them. But who says they're not hypnotized already?
POOL REPORT #1, 6/1/04
Bush at Faith-Based Conference at the Washington HiltonThe motorcade left the White House at 9:29 a.m. and arrived at the Hilton at 9:32 a.m. Nothing unusual happened enroute. We spent the next half-hour sitting through a video presentation and spiritual music while the president was behind closed doors in a roundtable; press office says names and background for the event will be forthcoming.
Read more...
Quick First Impressions: Impromptu Presidential Press Conference #
At the just-completed presidential press conference, Bush was asked about the mood of the Iraqi people. Bush replied that people who have been in Iraq report that things are better than the American media have portrayed them to be, that, in fact, "They report people have got a sparkle in their eye."
Of course, France used to send us a box of chocolates once a week.
Gossip Roundup: More Helmets Edition #
• Washington Whispers: Democrats to launch online reality show, "Republican Survivor," starring Bush, DeLay, Coulter. GOP flak: "Cartoons don't win elections". . . Brazile worried Clintons took black vote for granted when McAuliffe was named chair. . . Top officials to detail techniques used at Gitmo. . . Brock writes Rumsfeld to remove Limbaugh. . . Revamped Kerry site will let supporters phone bank from home. . . G-8 leaders can bring their wives for the first time in five years. . . Kerry requested diverse security detail. . . In meetings, Bush's new advisor on homeland security has authority over Ashcroft, who fired her from Justice. [USN&WR]
• Names & Faces: Baby Jessica graduates high school. . . Colorado chef gets to serve Peking duck to Bush. . . Bono addresses EU. [WP]
Read more...
Bushisms: Our Leg to Stand On #
UPDATE: About that Bushism, the one where he declares, "I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein". . . We're received quite a bit of mail from people who claim not to "get" the joke or even that they are "offended" by it. "What's funny about this?" they ask. Well, duh: Cripples are hilarious! Haven't you people ever seen a pirate movie?
No, no. We get it. Bush was making a reference to how great it is that this man has a hand to shake, despite having his real hand lopped off by Saddam. And, yes, we -- and Slate and Dana Milbank -- took the quote out of context in way that made it easy to get a cheap laugh at the expense a president who, let's face it, provides a myriad of other targets for less offensive swipes. But if we're going to ban making fun of poor word choices, then Wonkette will have nothing left to mock but Kerry's gigantic penis, and that seems unfair.
Now, if the penis were prosthetic. . .
President Bush: Does He Have a Leg to Stand On? [Wonkette]
Latest Bushism [The Volokh Conspiracy]
You Had Me at "r u free?" #
We knew that Blackberrys could be used as sex toys, but we had assumed that it had to do with setting them on "vibrate." On Sunday, NYT informed us that this Tamagotchi-for-grown-ups can also be used to meet people: "Once the Hill staffers got the Berries, the social dating scene was revolutionized. . . Suddenly they have gone from earnest policy wonks and flacks who leave at the end of the day to mini-keyboard Lotharios."
"Mini-keyboard Lotharios," eh? Do they exchange tips with the Bluetooth Don Juans? Of course, if you rely on your Blackberry to get laid, you will never hook up with anyone outside the congressional-journalistic complex. Way to isolate the gene pool, people! Until now, we'd thought that talk of "the incestuous relationship between media and the government" was just a metaphor, but, clearly, it's starting to look like West Virginia over there. The next generation of Hill staffers will flirt by just pointing at their genitals and grunting.
A BlackBerry Throbs, and a Wonk Has a Date [NYT]
President Bush: Does He Have a Leg to Stand On? #
Just so you know, we're quoting here:
President George W. Bush talks with the press during an Oval Office meeting with several Iraqis who receive medical care in the United States Tuesday, May 25, 2004. "I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein," said the President.President Meets with Iraqis Who Received Medical Care in the US [WhiteHouse.gov via WP]
UPDATE: We're received quite a bit of mail from people who claim not to "get" the joke here or even that they are "offended" by it. "What's funny about this?" they ask. Well, duh: Cripples are hilarious! Haven't you people ever seen a pirate movie?
Read more...
Election Recycling: A Statement About What's Broken Edition #
• Bush, Kerry honor Vets. [WP and NYT and NYT and LAT]
• Bush camp to "play up" ideological differences. Mehlman: "This election will represent a clear choice, an ideological choice on the issues. And this campaign is totally committed to grass roots." [WT]
• With support slipping, Bush may need more than grass-roots. [BG]
• Kerry to speak of need to secure weapons material from terrorists, increase support for first responders. [LAT]
• Kerry's lead in New Jersey is surprisingly small. [WP]
• Swing states include few Senate battlegrounds. [WP]
Read more...
Notes from Washingtonienne: What to Wear to Lunch with Playboy #
The second last in an occasional series of updates from the woman who put the "ass" in "staff assistant":
Item!One of the men from my blog is pursuing a book deal of his own! [No idea who she's talking about, sorry. Also, not sure I care. -- Ed.] Not worried: He only knew me for, like, five minutes, and has nothing to write about me that the world doesn't already know. Jesus, what douche.
I always wanted to write a novel, too. Problem was, I didn't have anything to write about either. I lost my job by keeping an internet sex diary, and problem solved. (Strangers may hate me, but problem solved.)
Read more...
Mon 31
Memorial Day with the Ex-Presidents #
[AP Photo/Ron Edmonds via Electablog]
"Just tell her you used to be president. . . and if she asks, you served two terms."
Fri 28
Hit Parade: Going Down #
The Hit Parade ranks stories other people tuned into. Chart placement is determined by Google News bots, Noted Now shoutouts and our whim. Arrows indicate movement since last week.
1. ↓ Non-orange alert alleged to be politically motivated and not coordinated. Hooked radical finally pushes off Iraq.
2. ↓ McCain as Kerry's running mate beats Bush -- liberal media beats off.
3. ↓ Dean to write syndicated column, following footsteps of Buchanan. Next stop, "McLaughlin."
4. ↓ The New York Times requests forgiveness for misrepresenting WMDs. As if we read the articles in the first place.
5. ↓ Green Party may or may not endorse Nader. Where's LaDuke?
6. ↓ Bin Laden as a foreign leader who supports Kerry? Do we have to wait until October for the surprise?
7. ↓ Gore steps out of hiding to scream against Bush; still doesn't make as big a dent as Dean.
8. ↓ White House memo calls for big spending cuts. No, we need another tax break.
9. ↓ Kerry decides to accept nomination in Boston. The week would not be complete without a flop.
10. ↓ Washingtoni-what?
Kerry's Non-Ex-Lover Speaks! #
Remember when people seemed to believe that John Kerry had had sex with an intern? We speculated endlessly, we Googled fitfully, we patted ourselves on the back for not naming names. . . pretty much. Matt Drudge was involved and the media got all hand-wringy about "the internet" like it was 1998 all over again. And now, only a little off schedule, the young woman at the center of the Kerry non-affair has stepped forward with a story in next week's New York magazine that refuses to name names either, pretty much. The mystery woman at the center of this non-Monica's tale is the loose-lipped Tripp whose exaggerations were Drudged into full-blown scandal.
The relevant excerpt detailing if not identifying the woman who fingered the reluctant media figure is after the jump. Ladies and gentlemen, start your search engines. . .
UPDATE: Another excerpt from the New York story at Gawker.
Read more...
What One Conservative Woman Thinks of Washingtonienne #
Michelle Malkin weighs in on Washingtonienne. She thinks that Capitol Hill sex scandals are bad. But beyond that, what is she really trying to say? We ran the column through our translator. . .
| Michelle says | Michelle means |
| Meet the new Monica Lewinsky. Jessica Cutler, a 24-year-old mailroom clerk and phone receptionist, worked for Sen. Mike DeWine, R-Ohio, until last Friday . . . Cutler's partners reportedly included government officials who gave her money for her sexual services. | What does that "R" before Ohio stand for? I seem to have forgotten. |
| When I was 24 and making less than [$25,000], I did it by eating Spaghetti-O's, Ramen noodles and Swanson pot pies for dinner; driving a Toyota Tercel with no air conditioning; and sleeping on a $30 futon. I did it the way most parents teach their daughters to succeed: through hard work, thrift, faith and perseverance. | And when I got hungry or cold, I comforted myself with an almost infinite supply of self-righteous indignation. |
| I don't usually write about such inside-the-Beltway gossip, but Cutler's indecent conduct, glib rationalizations and in-your-face shamelessness, and the accompanying feeding frenzy over her, deserve a firm outside-the-Beltway lashing. | I am so turned on right now. |
| This vulgar little episode reflects a larger, disturbing media trend toward normalizing and glamorizing sexual promiscuity among young working women. | What johns? |
| It harms those trying to succeed on their merits in the professional arena. |  |
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Gossip Roundup: Really, Don't Be Expecting Too Much From Me Today Edition #
• Names & Faces: Redford meets Mary Beth Cahill, Steve Elmendorf; wants to be more involved. . . John Roberts un-clogs White House toilet. . . Allison Janney engaged to Richard Jenik. [WP]
• Inside the Beltway: WTOP bars Plotkin from attending pro-choice dinner. . . WP's corporate communication's chief donates to Kerry. . . "Leading Democrats" to match contributions to the DNC during the current push. . . "America wants to show its power, to be a cowboy," says an Iraqi insurgent. [WT]
• Page Six: Clinton is not getting a New York apartment: "No offense to the Upper West Side, but. . . I'm not a two-house sort of guy. . . I'm kind of a nester. I've got a place to live, and I'm going to live there. . . I think I'm just going to start taking the train.". . . Hillary's involvement in Holzer's book party stirs interest. . . [NYP and NYP]
• Fox 411: Distributor(s) of "Fahrenheit 9/11" to be announced Tuesday. [Fox News]
Maybe We Should Take Another Look at W's Medical Records? #
President Bush, bridging the gender gap:
I want to thank my friend, Senator Bill Frist, for joining us today. (Applause.) You're doing a heck of a job. You cut your teeth here, right? That's where you started practicing? That's good. He married a Texas girl, I want you to know. (Laughter.) Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me.Remarks by the President in a Conversation on Health Care Information Technology [WhiteHouse.gov]
Bush Steps Out [Wonkette]
You and Your Little Dog, Too! [Wonkette]
The President: Into More than Just a Pretty Face? [Wonkette]
My Big Gay National Security Team [Wonkette]
Election Recycling: Long Weekend's Starting Early Edition #
• Kerry pledges to form alliances, combat terror: "We will use every resource of our power to destroy." [WP and NYT and LAT]
• 67 percent of Americans worry about Iraq, majority angry but still hopeful: "We got Saddam out of there. But I think there's just as bad people in the rest of the world. So, for all the mess, what have we got out of it?" [WP]
• Bush promotes electronic medical records: "It lets these docs do their jobs; it eases the minds of the patients." [WP]
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The Huh-Huh Files: And Here We'd Heard That Steroids Could Have the Opposite Effect #
A surprise endorsement of Senator Kerry in today's Susan Estrich column on Arnold Schwarzenegger: "California is lucky to have a leader who is big enough. Does the country?"
Schwarzenegger's California formula: Bipartisanship + civility = progress [USAT]
Thu 27
Remainders: Can't Escape the Cicadas #
• Designs on the White House wants your t-shirt designs in eight categories, including "Most likely to be featured on Queer Eye." [Designs on White House]
• Open letter to the cicadas: "To the little fucker who dive bombed me on my way to lunch. You retarded, blind, little shit. You flew into the back of my ear while I was crossing the street! People laughed and pointed while I had, what looked like, an epileptic seizure. Bitch." [Craigslist]
• Gore's MoveOn speech: Breakdown or "the latest iteration of Gore’s never-ending quest for a personality"? [Outside the Beltway]
• Single Muslim seeks. . . "I am a: One-eyed hook-handed hate preacher, Residence: Finsbury Park, Interested in: beating meeting women, For: walks along the beach, romantic dinners, Holy War." [Tim Blair]
• "Anyone who has an experience level, say, of watching a few episodes of Law and Order or playing a few rounds of Who Stole the Cookie From the Cookie Jar can tell that Ahmad Chalabi is a liar." [Electablog]
Not Really Fair to Scott #
From a recent White House press briefing, evidence of the Bush administration's plan to appeal to Latino voters:
Q. Yes, two questions, please. From your statement at the podium, that Mr. Brahimi --MR. McCLELLAN: Is the Spanish okay? (Laughter.)
Q. We can do it in Spanish.
Q. Yes, we could ask the question in Spanish.
Q. Bueno.
Q. Quien es mas macho, Jorge Bush, o Scott McClellan? (Laughter.)
May 20, 2004 Press Briefing [White House.gov via PressGaggle.com]
Washingtonienne Fallout #
• And you say we're media whores. . . "HotNewsDomains.com! Lets Track Jessica's upcoming financial windfall together!" [JessicaCutler.net]
• One sexblog where W really stands for W: "Going to see the movie Troy tonight. Kind of a nostalgia trip really; it'll be nice to see some old dearly departed friends finally get the 'Hollywood treatment.' PW told me to call him afterwards. Wants to invade Syria. We've only been dating a year, and we already have a routine!" [Washingtonigenerian]
• A conspiracy theory we can get behind: "Just when things couldn't get any Worse in washington, with the economy, the war, Abu Ghraib, and $2.00 a gallon gas, there just happens to be a sex scandal on the hill that grabs everyone's attention?" [Mitch in Wonderland]
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Teen Media Nerds Will Rule the World #
The NYT unmasks the blogger behind the media junkie fix known as CableNewser.com: He's Brian Stelter, an 18-year-old college student in Baltimore whose obsession with cable news will probably fade once he starts dating. According to the Times, some people had assumed that there was an actual cable news professional behind the site -- we hope Brian's not too insulted, it's not like he didn't use verbs or something.
But isn't it sad when it turns out anonymous bloggers are really, literally, people you've never heard of? We had enjoyed thinking that CableNewser.com was written by Joe Scarborough. . . You know? He has a show on MSNBC. . . at 10 o'clock? S-C-A-R-B-O-R-O-U-G-H. . .Oh, nevermind.
UPDATE: Brian writes with some welcome news: "Ever since my girlfriend and I started dating last month, I have been a little bit less obsessed about cable. A little."
The Ultimate Cable News Guru, When Not in Class [NYT]
CableNewser.com [CableNewser.com]
Kerry: Does He Have a Plan? #
John Kerry's campaign may seem a bit aimless and his positions somewhat unclear, but Kerry would like you to know something: He has a plan.
"I think it's important to show them you have a plan," Mr. Kerry said last week on his plane during a campaign swing in the West. "If you don't have a plan, I don't think people are going to have much confidence in you. But I have a plan. I have a specific plan about manufacturing jobs, a specific plan about how we're going to fight for a fair playing field, a specific plan about science, technology investment. A specific plan about health care.Well, that's a relief. There's no way that someone who didn't have a plan would say the word plan that many times. Unless that was the plan."I think you have to run an affirmative campaign, and I think you have to - I have to - show America that I have a plan for the country," Mr. Kerry said. "And I do have a plan. And that's what I'm doing."
Democrats Wonder if Kerry Should Stay on Careful Path [NYT]
Newsflash: Jessica Cutler Not a Model of Moral Rectitude. Blog at 11. #
We're getting reports that Washingtonienne Jessica Cutler may be 26, not, in fact, 24. She also may not actually have received a degree from Syracuse University. When we asked Washingtonienne -- we believe what we read in the WP, what do we know? -- she refused to answer, saying, "I don't know why that's important." A classic non-denial denial! We don't know whether to be disheartened or impressed. On the one hand: An ex-low-level Senate staffer puffing up her resume and taking two years off her age? Could it be that people who work in Washington are not entirely truthful about their pasts? Someone should look into this.
On the other hand: How precocious! We didn't start lying about our age until we turned 30. Uhm. . . Rather, we don't plan to start lying about our age until we're 30. . .
SYRACUSE UNIVERSITY SPEAKS!! DESTINYLAND EXCLUSIVE!! MUST CREDIT DESTINYLAND!!! [Destinyland]
Gossip Roundup: Real Short Edition #
• Names & Faces: Boston College, and The Boston Globe, say photo of students sleeping through Russert speech was misrepresentative. . . Vince Vaughn imports comedians to D.C. for Saturday show. [WP]
• Inside the Beltway: Bush, as recruiter of terrorists? . . . 1 in 10 Western Europeans like Bush. [WT]
• Inside Politics: Blix endorses Kerry. . . Groans respond to Kerry's suggestion of naming his jet "Bush-whacker one or two" [WT]
• Page Six: Clinton to sit for portrait by Nelson Shanks, not Quigley [NYP]
• Liz Smith: Larry Flynt's book to include attacks Bush. [NYP]
Election Recycling: Poll After Poll After Poll After Poll Edition #
• Kerry will accept nomination at convention; DNC expected to increase fundraising for post-convention spending. [WP and NYT and LAT and BG]
• Kerry begins 11-day campaign on national security and foreign policy, including Iraq and terrorism: "We deserve a president of the United States who doesn't make homeland security a photo opportunity and the rhetoric of a campaign. We deserve a president who makes America safer." [WP and LAT and BG]
• Bush reelection would mean near universal spending cuts in the 2006 budget, White House memo warns. [WP]
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Notes from Washingtonienne: Need I Say More? #
The first in an occasional series of updates from Washington's most recent temptress in a teapot.
From: Jessica Cutler
Subject: New posting
Date: May 26, 2004 8:27:31 PM EDT
To: WonketteImagine if you dropped your diary on the sidewalk somewhere, and the next thing you know, it'’s national news.
WTF.
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And, earlier...
· Remainders: Race Quickly Out of the Country Edition
· The Washingtonienne Look
· Logo Network Execs: Recruiters or Recruited?
· Clean Cars Done Dirty
· Wonkette Housekeeping: I Am Saying It Is Not So
· Gossip Roundup: No, I'm Not Moving to NY; Mr. Wonkette Is Going to Commute Edition
· Election Recycling: Everything's Going Up Edition
· We Pulled the Statue Down, What More Do They Want?
· Washingtonienne and Sharks Who Jump Her
· Frank Jimenez: What's a Nice Hot Guy Like You Doing in a Sex Scandal Like This?
· Meet the Zzzzzz
· Treat Bush Girls Nice, Save American Jobs
· Bring It On, But Keep the Cicadas Away
· Who Is "F"? It Is Not Frank Jimenez, That's For Sure.
· Gossip Roundup: Not a Sore Spot Edition
· Election Recycling: Dry and Dispirited Edition
· The Staff Ass Story: Race to the Bottom
· Soft Bigotry of Low Expectations Department, Part 2
· Remainders: On the One Hand, On the Other Hand Edition
· Soft Bigotry of Low Expectations Department
· Newsroom Ideological Diversity
· Nader Baiter: Do As I Say, Not As I Do
· Washingtonienne(s) Lite
· Gossip Roundup: Let's Have a Funny-Off Edition
· WH Pool Report: Dana's Bad Day Edition
· Election Recycling: A Crook Here and Crooks There Edition
· Dem Dream Ticket
· WH Pool Report: OK, OK, We Get It Edition
· WH Pool Report: This Doesn't Make President Gay Edition
· Washington's Other W Twins
· WASHINGTONIENNE SPEAKS!! WONKETTE EXCLUSIVE!! MUST CREDIT WONKETTE!! THE WASHINGTONIENNE INTERVIEW!!
· Washingtonienne or Not?
· Kerry Delaying Accepting Nomination
· Picture Puzzler
· Washingtonienne: Eliminated by Process
· Washingtonienne: Process of Elimination
· Let It Go, Neil, Let It Go
· The Origin of the Kerry Campaign Slogan: Update
· Gossip Roundup: Pumped About the Book Edition
· Washingtonienne: Employment Status