one of the problems of being in the xbi is sometimes you really are saving peoples lives and then if youre really unlucky they find your website and then they want to meet you and then they want to go out on a date with you and you say when youre 21 but somehow they seem to think that you said when youre 18 and then they start sending you the pictures. one a day until theyre 18 and then two a day after theyre 18 and i dont know what to do and admit it you dont know what to do either.
all i want is a fridgerator in the garage. to me thats the american dream. cup overflowing so much that not only do you have a fridge in the kitchen, stocked, but you have a second one in the garage just filled with cokes and ice cream and steaks and popsickles and godknowswhat huge thick pepper bacon blocks of cheese 35 mm film endless rows of aluminum foiled wrapped leftovers just waiting to be heated up at 450.
after a while food is more important than pussy and thats pretty much when you should just shoot yourself right there in the drivethru. in a perfect world you could order a notsohappy meal and when you got to the second window theyd just blow your fucking brains out.
we get quite a few middle aged candidates who want to join the xbi cuz they just dont give a shit any more and they dont mind the danger of undercover crime fighting in the mean streets of los angeles. people to whom neither food pussy or money motivates them any longer and theres great debate at the agency as to whether these types of people are perfect for the xbi or completely scary and horrible for us. i think theyre great, but im in the minority. as usual. its when people dont give a shit that they listen, obey, and become a more reliable part of the team. almost anything great requires teamwork. and thats the only reason why newspapers dont have to fear individual blogs. because on any given day, any given serious newspaper could cover the fuck out of a town better than a sole unprofessional typer on a keyboard. problem is newspapers rarely work as a team, almost never try to predict the news, and stubbornly refuse to take advantage of their influence and reputation to do something progressive like start having newsblogs on their websites written by their reporters, stringers, interns, and readers. one day they'll figure it out. by that time this chick will be sending me ten pictures a day.
