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mood |
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hungover as fuck |
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My head is killing me. Smirnoff sucks. Last night was a lot of fun, but it ended rather badly. I ended up in the shower, crying hysterically, yelling at Corey to stay away from me. Ugh. I'm glad I finally cried though. I've needed to for a long time and I'm not even sure I can cry anymore without being drunk. Anyway, I feel somewhat purged. I was thinking about my grandma a lot last night. I realized again on my way home from work yesterday that every single day I pass the cemetery where my grandparents are buried. I don't think about it often, but I did yesterday and I guess I had a lot of pent up sadness--I haven't cried like that in a very long time. Corey, of course, upset me even more. He decided to tell me exactly what his mother actually thinks of me, which really didn't come as much of a surprise to me, but it was irritating nonetheless. I don't take very kindly to being judged on such a superficial level. Corey has no idea anything about my upbringing and he never will. No one will. It's just better that way. I am exactly what I am, regardless of what my family is or was, and I will not be judged based on anything but my own actions and myself. I know a whole lot more than they give me credit for. So petty. I can't stand superficial, judgmental people who are so insecure with themselves that they have to pick on people they believe are inferior in some way. I am in no way inferior to any member of Corey's family. The idea is ludicrous. As though anyone would ever aspire to be like them. Ha! Gimme a break. They all get on my nerves so much. They live in some pitiful imaginary world in which they are czars of Quebec (ha ha ha) and miscellaneous royalty. I don't understand their preoccupation with social status. If they had any idea how absurd they come off they'd never leave their castle. Their castle in Spring. Please. Pretentious people make me sick.
I've been out in the sun too much lately. I'm getting way too many freckles.
I can't believe I was smoking last night. Ugh. How disgusting. It's all I taste right now.
God, the songs we played last night...if I hear Hotel California or The Girl From Impanema ONE more time, I'll scream and never stop. Or Moody's Mood for Love. Ugh. Corey's rendition, while charming in an appalling sort of way, is in serious need of work. He makes up notes worse than I do. At least I don't think I can sing...he actually does.
A piece of advice: When Corey starts passing you notes in Latin, run. Run fast. Get out. Don't come back until he sobers up.
Damn. We never did watch the videos we rented.
It's really bothering me that he somehow has a hundred dollars. I shudder to think what he had to do to get it. Ugh. He won't tell me and that pisses me off.
We had this really good talk before we got really drunk. We never really talk about anything even remotely serious. Our usual conversation consists of things like, hey, remember the time we... and various inside jokes that are pointless and meaningless even to us.
I think this might be a bad weekend. I just want to be alone and stay at home in bed. I need that. I want to revel in just feeling bad, knowing that there's nothing specific upsetting me, and then I'll be over it.
My mom still hasn't called me back. I couldn't care less. She pisses me off.
Did I mention that my head hurts?
Today is going to suck.
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