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Lawton

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[22 Nov 2001|05:59pm]
This journal is outdated by the one I am currently updating: http://www.livejournal.com/~kamoku/

Update your bookmarks.
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[26 Jul 2001|08:46am]
Sucks to be a LiveJournal user.
http://www.deadjournal.com/~radicaldreamer
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[25 Jul 2001|10:30am]
God, I know I'm hungry, but I don't feel hungry. I know I'm hungry, because when something like this happens, I'll hiccup like mad. Mom says its because I'm freakin' starving. Good thing I have some leftover donuts. Donuts are yum.
I think I left out what happened after I mopped yesterday. I got a phone call. Surprise surprise. It was my old buddy John. I've known him since before I went to school. It's been a long time we've known each other. He invited me over, and so I went to his house. I'm telling you, his house is ironically one of those places that you like going. Ironic, because it's a roach hotel. Seriously. The coaches are old, stained, got holes in them, fluff comin' out. Half the place doesnt even have carpet. But it doesnt really matter, because clothes cover the floor pretty much everywhere. It's about a foot high in junk, everywhere. I say its ironic, because I'm a slight germaphobe. But they're just so laid back, its kind of relaxing when you go there.
So anyway, we played around a bit. I think we played chess or something on a really old chess set his great-great grandmother Goldie sent him. Great-great grandmother. Still alive. That's pretty amazing. Also kind of depressing. John's not too bright. Seriously. He's 14, and he's going into sixth grade next year. For the third time. Anyway, he just flat out said "It's rather sad. She's going to die any minute now." "John..." Sometimes its hard to relate to that guy.
Every time I head over there, theres always something he needs me to help him with on the computer. It was something to do with ActiveWorlds. We were trying to connect to AOL, but someone was already on their phone, and we couldn't. John went off to yell at his siblings/mom, as he usually does. He's good at yelling.
So, I figure I'll pass the time he's yelling by playing around in Paint. It's actually a nervous habit of mine. When theres nothing else to do, I'll play around in Paint. By the time he got back, I was still loading the Start Menu. It's a glacially slow computer, I'm not kidding. Up there on the top of the Start Menu was this icon that looked like a yellow ticket of some sort, and beside it, it said "Mega Porn Pass."
"Hey John, what's this?" I said. We were on his username, was why I asked. We both knew his brother Mikey, now 20, is a pervert. We found a dirty screensaver on there once. I'm still scared to look at the screensaver picker.
"Oh, that. That was from my 'porn phase.' Everyone goes through that. I've seen what porn can do to a person now... have you yet?" He said, as casual as hell. It still disturbs me how casually he said it.
"Well... no..."
"I had some things left on here I still haven't deleted yet. Thanks for pointing it out." And he deleted it. I would have been worried that he was still into that kind of crap, but I saw him go into Recycle Bin and delete it. John wouldn't have played me.
Just something for me to think and chew on. I talked about that to Val, and she confessed something. I'm not going to say what it was out of respect, but it wasn't like, some horrible trust-shattering thing.
But it did leave me thinking. Am I doomed to become a perv?
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[25 Jul 2001|08:35am]
[ mood | calm ]

Ew... my stomach hurts. Some kind of indigestion, or lack thereof. I usually go in hunger phases. You know, one week I'll be starving, the next I won't be hungry... Well, this latest non-hungry phase has lasted about a month. That's not good.
I got mad at Val last night. I don't even know why. There wasn't a reason. I swear to god, I've got to be chemically depressive or something. Honestly. I mean, I can get depressed over nothing. Nothing at all. I'd tell my mom, but she'd take me to some doctor. The doctor would give me like... Zoloft, or something, and then tell me I need to eat more. Or that I need to stay off the computer, because a lack of sunlight is making me this way. Or because my life is unhealthy. I just don't want that. If my parents had an excuse to take me off the computer, they would. And they'd watch me 24/7 to make sure I don't get back on it. That would make me emotionally depressive, and that's something a doctor can't take away.
Plus I wouldn't want Val to be able to say "My boyfriend got grounded off the computer for 6 months because he's chemically depressive." Thats just kind of sad. And it is.
I'm just not in good shape all around. I even think I'm teetering on Agnosticism.
But I'm still happy, don't get me wrong. Life is good.

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[24 Jul 2001|03:43pm]
[ mood | blah ]

Today's been pretty good. I ate a big breakfast-- two yogurts and some ice cream. That's big for me. I don't eat much at all, especially for someone my age. You know, growing and all... you'd think I'd eat more. But I really don't. Anyway, it was good, and I was hungry.
Got on AIM and chatted a bit... then I took a bath. Mom called in the middle of it. I had to call her back after I got out. As soon as I hung up, I was about go make a big lunch. I was balked by another phone call... Ol' Zack was on the phone. I could talk to him in 30 years and recognize that voice. Sounds kind of snobby, but in a wanna-be-snobby way. Not really a bad thing, but very recognizable. We started talking, and found out that Josh was on the phone too. I hate three way conversations. I hate phones. I can scream that at Josh and he'll just go on with some corny jokes. The only way you could get him to hang up is if you tell him that you're gay. You see, Josh is homophobic. Well, I think it's wrong, but Josh thinks that all gay people should die. He's not the worst... he's never called anyone a fag or anything, its just, he really hates gays. Anyway, I didn't feel like coming out of the closet today. It's too hot outside. You've got to be in the mood to play around with Josh like that, and I wasn't.
So I told him my "new" AIM SN and told him to IM me there later. That moron can't take a hint. Or a flat out sentence. There was nothing subliminal about it. I hate phones and I didn't want to talk. In real life, I'm a very quiet person. No particular reason, I'm just weird that way.
Eventually, I pulled my clicking bit on him. He hates that. I'll say "Hold on a second!" and then hang up. Or "Yeah yeah whatever." and hang up. He'll be laughing his ass off the next day at school about it though. But you know he hates it.
After ditching him once, he won't call again. He did that once, when he didn't know me too well.
"Hey!"
"Hi Josh..."
"So, whatcha doin?"
"Josh, I don't like phones."
"Oh, okay. I'm watching the Simpsons. You watching it? Its that episode where--"
"Josh, I HATE phones."
"... Maggie shoots Mr. Burns, and then..."
"Okaybyebye." *Click*
He called back several times. I came close to cussing him out, but Josh thinks everythings controversial, just like my whole school. He does it in a friendly way though. Otherwise I wouldn't talk to him.
Well, for lunch, I made some cereal. And toast. Yum. Then I cleaned my room. Lots of fun. Just when I started to get on the computer again, the phone rings. Damn, our phones were ringing off the hook today. Styuupid phones.
It was some telemarketer. I love hanging up on them...
Anyway, I got on AIM and talked to Val for a little bit. Then she said something, I don't know what, and I just suddenly got depressed as hell. Whatever she said didn't merit me getting depressed, and it isn't the kind of depression I get stuck in for weeks at a time, but it wasn't a nice feeling. I acted like I had to go and signed off. Thats something you have to love about the internet. If you don't feel like talking to someone, you can lie much easier than you can in real life. Either that, or I'm not a good liar. Whatever.
Then Dad got home... he was whistling.
"Hey Dad, some guy called about our furniture. Said he'd take care of it at 4:00"
He did his "mm" thing on me, and I started to walk off.
"Hey boy. What did your mom make you do?"
"Nothing..." I usually have to vacuum or something."
"Really? Okay then. Go mop the kitchen."
"But it's clean."
Then he gave me this "I'm-your-father-so-I-can-boss-you-around" glare. I backed off.
I guess I'm gonna go mop now.

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[24 Jul 2001|09:16am]
[ mood | drunk ]

*yawns* Woke up a few minutes ago... Yeah, its early for most people, but I rarely get to sleep in. I'm home alone... I don't remember asking to be home alone. I probably yelled at my mom when she was trying to wake me up. I can act pretty drunk-like when I'm half awake. I really can.
God, I smell like I'm drunk too. I'm gonna get something to eat and take a bath.

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[23 Jul 2001|07:24pm]
Bah... the minute I walked in the door today, I just got this weird feeling. Like I shouldn't have come home today and just spent the night alone at my uncles. That's not even feasible. I'm just weird.
I also have pretty much nothing to do... and a lot of time to kill. SO I made my own survey! Feel free to use it yourself.

Name any online friends and state why you like talking to them!
Val - She's spef-al! No, actually she's just... a very interesting person. Yeah, its true she's no good at jokes (no offense), but she just does things... funnily... and that's not an insult either. Like keeping your money in a cardboard box!
Josh - Well, he's exceedingly funny. No, he's the funniest person I know. I mean, have you HEARD this guy? Other than that he's pretty much trash. I'm just kidding... but he does think rationally, and he's very strong willed. Sometimes bull-headed though...
Aaron - Eh, he's a friend IRL too, but I talk to him on the internet as well! He's my coolest IRL friend... he and I have got tonnes (thats right, metric TONNES) in common.
Naomi - Oh, she's funny, but in an intelligent way. Very smart person, mature, and good with decisions. She's easy to get along with, but she signs off abruptly... -.-
Julie - She's very... strange... but not in a creep-you-out kind of way. More in the Naomi kind of way, but less so. Anyway, a good friend ^^
Isaac - Smart guy, funny, and very interesting. He's the kind of guy you ask "How're ya doin?" and he has some really interesting story.

Well, there ya go. I didn't feel like naming ALL my friends.
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[23 Jul 2001|01:41pm]
[ mood | splendid ]
[ music | Trigun - Big Bluff ]

Heh... this is more fun than a barrel of monkeys who have watched a video camera focused on Josh for 24 hours! I registered an account on Crosswinds.net and abusing... using the unlimited webspace to upload mp3s and pictures and stuff. I must have like 50 MB filled so far. And its just a bunch of Trigun songs. Trigun kicks.
I'd also like to say that I'm sorry for what I said about Misha. I was just in a bad mood, and I say all kinds of things when I am. It's all good now.
Oh, and...


I love you, Val!
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[23 Jul 2001|08:39am]
[ mood | happy ]
[ music | Skankin' Pickle - Smells Like Teen Spirit ]

At my uncles again. Again, they are on vacation. Rich people are always on vacation. Remember that. It's actually very nice... I have a LOT more privacy on this computer down here.
Bah... it's 8:40, so thats 6:40 Val's time... and theres no chance she'll be on for a while. Sigh.
I've been reading this book called "The Catcher in the Rye." It's a pretty neat book, actually. It's about a sarcastic 16-year old named Holden Caulfield who leads a depressing life.
Um, well anyway... I've got a really good microphone, and I hooked up my uncle's today. So if anyone wants to hear my voice, just ask.

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[21 Jul 2001|10:16pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

I'm a bad bad person. I'm a terrible person.
I'm aggravated by little things again, because I had such a long chain of crappy little things that I'm tired of it. Four months ago: We'll get you new furniture. Now: We'll worry about your furniture later. People getting my order wrong at Burger King, or taking forever to do it when I'm hungry NOW, or the food ending up looking like its already been digested. I get grumpy when I'm hungry. Being so far away from Val...
I think I'm alright, and someday when I meet her... it'll be... really... special... because I had to wait so long... but, dammit, I want to see her now. What if I don't want to meet her then? What if she doesn't? What if we don't like each other? The future is not a trustworthy friend. I learned that when I was little.
I read her journal today... talking about jealousy and such. I did my best to comfort her, but when she got back to normal I ended up doing the same thing. She started talking about Misha and getting closer to him... WELL I DONT WANT HER GETTING CLOSER TO HIM, DAMMIT! When we broke up the first time I found out a few hours later that she had some sort of crush on him while we were together, and ever since then I haven't talked to him much. I just don't like Misha that much anymore. So sue me.

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[20 Jul 2001|04:26pm]
Eh. I'm getting tired of LiveJournal. I'm thinking about shutting it down.
Uh... Uhm... I went to Suncoast t'day. I bought me a Trigun tape.
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[18 Jul 2001|03:04pm]
Well blah.
I'm at my uncles again, and will be here tomorrow... when we got here today, some foolish fool had driven his 18-wheeler into some telephone poles, killing the telephone lines and power here, so until 1:00, we had no electricity. -.-
I got on, and read Val's journal. But, she's not on, so blah. Josh was, and we built like mad on ActiveWorlds. I introduced Misha to it. What fun.
And now Val's at Target. At 4:00, I promised I'd get on webcam mode on Yahoo and let her see me in a swim-suit. She owes me some bikini pics of herself for it. XD
If anyone else is interested, go to http://messenger.yahoo.com/ and get on at 4:00 central time! My ID is lawton_kun, of course.
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[15 Jul 2001|10:13pm]
I'm bored...

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[15 Jul 2001|08:34am]
[ mood | bored ]

ohayo. I'm going to church this morning like I usually do and then I eat lunch. then we drive the long way home and have home church. blah. I'm sick of church. thanks to that christian school, my view of church has been merged with school, and I've always hated school, so, yeah.
eeegggh. my GIANT HANDS have grown since last night. my favorite ring only fits on my pinky now i_i but I got a cool new ring that looks like a snake yesterday. yup.

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[14 Jul 2001|10:30am]
Aaron thinks my dreams are cool, and that I could write an excellent fantasy book from them compiled together. I guess it would be convenient, as my dreams seem to take place in the same world where the grass is red and the leaves on trees are practical joke big. I thought his dream about the Brain-shaped Fish was pretty cool, so we're going to combine our dreams and make some sort of story from them. It shall be indeed interesting.
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[13 Jul 2001|02:14pm]
bah, I'm quite the hypocrite. I took three friends off my list today; Mo and Ali, because well, they update their journal too damn much. Ash, because I'm avoiding her. she hates me, I blocked her. I used to update alot, but yeah. ...I'm gonna see Final Fantasy today. yup.
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[12 Jul 2001|11:27am]
I'm over here at my uncles. Work was lighter than was expected, and I should've brought the fourth Xanth book. Foolishly I forgot it, and I finished Xanth #3: Castle Roogna in the car ride here. I shall be bored indeed.
Val and Julie cooked up some half-baked idea that I'm the same person as Josh. o____O;;;;
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[11 Jul 2001|03:12pm]
[ mood | bah ]

uhm.... so hey
I don't really like LiveJournal anymore, its boring. actually, its not that livejournal is boring, its that theres really not that much to say about my life. its boring. so uh.. that ditzy blonde Amber IMed me today. I didn't know she had AIM, but apparently she does. and a helluva lotta buddies too. I have 20 buddies. no doubles... but just 20. anyway, she asked me if I'd make her a bi like mine. "What?! what are you talking about?!" "NO! NOT BI! BUDDY ICON!" o.O; thats Amber for ya.
tomorrow I'm going over there because I agreed to work. I don't know what I was thinking when I said I'd work. this is friggin summer, I'm not gonna work.... bah. it's just one day.
okay well I have to make my bed. I don't see the point in that. I'm gonna get in it in 16 hours and mess it up again anyway, why do I keep doing it? we don't have that much company.... and... *rambles*

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in the mood for surveys [10 Jul 2001|10:52pm]
NAME: Lawton
NICKNAMES: Lawton-kun, Mondo
SEX: Male
BIRTHDAY: February 23, 1988
WHERE DO YOU LIVE: Near Dallas, TX
ARE YOU FLIRTY: When I want to be
SHOE SIZE: 10
HAIR COLOR: Brown
EYE COLOR: Black
PARENTS: suck
RIGHTY OR LEFTY: Right-handed
HOBBIES: Internet, books

-ON FRIENDS-
FRIENDS THAT LOOK LIKE YOU: ^.^ eee I love Val
BEST FRIEND/S: hmm... Val, Josh, and Julie
YOU GO FOR ADVICE TO: Josh. He may be an idiot, but he thinks rationally.
YOU'VE DREAMT ABOUT: Val
YOU TELL YOUR DREAMS TO: No one
YOU TELL SECRETS TO: I tell some to Val


-ON GUYS (FOR GIRLS TO FILL OUT)-
LONG OR SHORT HAIR:
TALL OR SHORT:
6 PACK OR MUSCULAR ARMS:
GOOD GUY OR BAD GUY:
HAT OR NO HAT:
EARS PIERCED OR NOT:
TAN OR FAIR:
FRECKLES OR NONE:
STUBBLE OR NEATLY SHAVE:
RUGGED OR SPORTSY:
ACCENT OR AMERICAN:


-ON GIRLS ........(FOR GUYS TO FILL OUT)-
BOARD SHORTS OR BIKINI UNDERWEAR: bikini underwear
PAINTED OR UNPAINTED NAILS: painted
BRA OR SPORTS BRA: bra
SORTA DRESSY OR CASUAL: sorta dressy... emphasis on sorta
DARK OR BLONDE: dark
DARK OR LIGHT EYES: dark
LONG OR SHORT NAILS: short
HAT OR NO HAT: no hat
GOOD GIRL OR BAD GIRL: good
HAIR UP OR DOWN: DOWN
JEWELRY OR NO: a little
TALL OR SHORT: around my height
CURLY OR STRAIGHT HAIR: straight
SKIRT OR DRESS: dress
TAN OR FAIR: either
FRECKLES OR NO: don't care
PRETTY INDOOR CHICK OR SPORTSY CHICK: I wouldn't be able to relate to a sportsy chick.. so pretty indoor chick
ALL AMERICAN OR GRUNGE: o_O; neither
ACCENT OR AMERICAN: don't care
PLAYFUL OR SERIOUS: serious, but not... sober
JEANS OR SKIRTS: jeans
LEGGY OR PETITE: uh.. I don't know what leggy is, so petite
BIG OR SKINNY: skinny

ON PREFERENCES-
CHOCOLATE MILK OR HOT CHOCOLATE: hot chocolate
COKE OR PEPSI: pepsi
MARRY PERFECT LOVER OR PERFECT FRIEND: perfect friend
ROOT BEER OR DR. PEPPER: dr. pepper
SAPPY/ACTION/COMEDY/HORROR: suspense
TEA OR COFFEE: tea
CATS OR DOGS: cats
MUD OR JELL-O WRESTLING: jello
SHINE OR RAIN: rain
WINTER/SUMMER/FALL/OR SPRING: winter
TOP OR BOTTOM: top, I think?
VANILLA OR CHOCOLATE: chocolate
SKIING OR BOARDING: boarding
BIKING OR BLADING: biking
CEREAL OR TOAST: toast
ROCK/SKA/PUNK/RAP/R&B;/ALT/TECHNO/COUNTRY: alt
NIGHT OR DAY: night
GLOVES OR MITTENS: gloves
DRESSED OR UNDRESSED: I think I'd be embarassed undressed, so dressed
BUNK OR WATERBED: waterbed
CHEWING GUM OR HARD CANDY: chewing gum
MOTOR/SAIL BOATS: motor
LIGHT ON OR OFF: off

-YOUR FAVORITES-
COLOR: red
NUMBER: 1
SUBJECT: science
BRANDS: anything that looks okay
SHOE TYPE: vans
SPORT TO PLAY: I loathe sports
SPORT TO WATCH: I loathe sports
DRINK: dr. pepper

-FRIENDS-
Funniest: hmm.. Josh
Craziest: Cloud
Smartest: Aaron
Strangest: Naomi

-This or That-
Truth or Dare: dare
WWF or WCW: neither
Ocean or Pool: pool
Cake or Pie: cake
Love or Lust: I've never been in lust... so love
Silver or Gold: silver
Diamonds or Pearls: diamonds
Shaken or Stirred: stirred
Taco or Burrito: burrito
Armagedon or Independence Day: ID4
Sunset or Sunrise: sunset
Crushed or Cubed: shaved
Showers or Baths: baths

-Misc. Questions-
Do you like to talk on the telephone?: I hate telephones more than anything in the world. If you ever, EVER call me on a phone, you had best not speak and hang up immediately. If you so much as utter one syllable, I'LL HUNT YOU DOWN AND GUT YOU LIKE A FISH!!!
Can we have your number?: STOP TALKING ABOUT PHONES
Do you like to dance?: no
Are you scared to ask someone out?: depends on who
Have you ever gone skinny dipping?: no
Have you ever thought you were gonna die? yeah
Have you ever been high?: no
Do you sleep with stuffed animals?: no
Have you ever broken/fractured an bone?: no
Do you wear braces?: no
Do you consider yourself a good listener?: yes
Can you Swim?: yes
Do you sing in the shower?: no, I don't shower
Do you think cheerleading is a sport?: I hate sports
Whats the color of your toothbrush?: white
What's your worst injury ever?: I've never had one
Whats the hardest thing about Growing up?: growing up kicks ass
Do you believe in love at first sight?: no
Have you ever been in love?: yes
What are you wearing right now?: boxers and a big t-shirt
What do you wear to bed?: boxers and a big t-shirt
What's the best feeling in the world? being in love
What's the worst feeling in the world?: guilt
How many kids do you want to have?: I don't want to have any kids. I don't like kids. they're annoying. they grow up too slow. plus if I don't have any kids, I'll be able to live without having to pay for someone elses life at the same time. maybe that will change someday.
what college do you want to go to: I dunno
What's your sexual preference? I like girls
What were you in a past life? I didn't have a past life
I punch you. Quick, what do you do: I run away
When confronted with Britney Spears, you: I rip off her mask!
What's your favorite coffee? I don't like coffee
What's your political perspective? that politics suck
Are you my Angel? no.
Do you consider yourself a poet? no
What do you wanna be when you grow up? hmm. some type of... person... that... ya know... does that thing.... with the stuff?
There's a naked man in your living room. What do you do?: I freak out and never enter my room again
How stupid do you think you are? I think I am of average intelligence
How stupid do other people think you are? my classmates think that I am a genius
Who the hell do you think you are? the spef-al-ist person in the world
Is the Wonderbra good or bad? well, as a dare, I tried one on once. I didn't really like it that much
If you could levitate, who would you scare first? probably my parents
What's your favorite fruit? hmmmmmhmmmmhmmm
Can you feel the love tonight? you bet your sweet bippy
On a nude beach, you would: I was once at one. I didn't realize it was a nude beach until I saw a woman taking off her... um.... well ya know. I freaked out and ran off before my sister noticed it was a nude beach and got ideas
What do you think about contemporary art? I don't like it
Do you like being naked? no
If we had proof god didn't exist, what would happen? I guess I'd become an atheist
Do you enjoy cheeze whiz? no
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[08 Jul 2001|10:34pm]
[ mood | yawn ]

Identity/Alias: Lawton
Age: 13
Job: No.. I go to school
Gender: Male
"Status": Taken
Height: 5'5
Weight: Um.. I think 105 lbs.
Hair: Brown
Eyes: Black

Favorites:
Color - Red
Quote - "These days, all it takes for your dreams to come true is money and power." -Rufus Shinra, FFVII
TV show - Friends
Song - RPG OSTs
Drink - Health Valley Ginger Ale
Place - My room
Person - Ooohh...
Food style - Tex-Mex or Italian

Other stuff:
If you had three wishes what would you make them? - Hrm. For the enduration of my life I can dwell in happiness, financial wealth, good health, longevity, intelligence, and love... For all of my goals in life to be eventually completed... and one personal one
How many times have you been out of the country? - Once
Bath or shower? - Bath
Is love just a lie? - She said love was just a lie... but I could tell that she was lying... and we almost figured out *continues singing*
Do you consider yourself good-looking? - No
Do others consider you good-looking? - Yes
What turns you on? - ...I'm embarassed, but if you really wanna know you can look back a bunch of posts.
Was this a good survey? - I'm getting bored with surveys

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