[	Current Mood	|	cheerful	]
[	Current Music	|	"Otsego Undead" - Static-X.	]

quoted from craig's pathetic little piece of the internet:

So, *ah-hem*....Danielle. Shouldnt you of killed yourself by now? I mean, i can help you tie the rope if you'd like. No one really cares about your pathetic life anyways. Not even your parents if i remember correctly. If theres one word that rings a bell in my head when i hear the name Danielle, its worthless. But Listen carefully, if you even decided to jump on anything that belongs to me that you have NOTHING to even do with, so help me god i will end that pathetic life of yours. Understand? Do not stand my in my way again. And piss of AND MIND YOU OWN GODDAMN BISUINESS! kthanks. Douche.

now, if this is aimed towards me, which i think it is.. here's my little piece of wisdom for the craig-monster. if you think i am fucking scared of you, you're wrong. what are you gonna do, crash one of those cars you work on but could never DREAM of owning into my apartment? please. i'd sue you for everything you have, and everything you WILL have. you're goddamn lucky i don't print out that little entry of your journal and take it to the fucking police. they don't look on death threats very lightly these days. i don't know WHO YOU THINK YOU ARE.. but ashlee is my friend. i was wrong to think you could ever be anyone i wanted to be around. you use people until you don't need them anymore, and then you throw them away. you'll do the same thing with anna, and i really feel sorry for her. she doesn't need some asshole like you in her life. she has plenty of friends who care about her, from what i can tell. you are a worthless addition to anyone's group of friends. you're worthless period. but in the end aren't we all? so until you rip your head from your ass (given you can tell the two apart) and realize what a piece of shit you are, and how horribly you treat people, go fuck yourself.

[	Current Mood	|	happy	]
[	Current Music	|	"Aerials" - System of a Down.	]

honestly, valentine's day was pretty tame for me. i got to john's house two hours earlier than i was supposed to, but his sister jessi was there so i hung out with her until he got there. then.. john got pissed cuz there was a bunch of drunken idiots at his house, and his dad was really really drunk and chopped a broken stereo in half with a sword.. in the living room! us renaissance folk are the meaning of "going medieval" on somebody's ass. haha. then we went to sleep. we woke up at like.. 7:30 AM. john was gonna go to work but he didn't. so instead we drove out to aja and dj's house, picked them up, and drove to tulsa. we went to starship and i got this badass glass pipe, and bought john his birthday present early, then we went to oz and i bought aja her birthday present early, then we went to the promenade mall, woodland hills mall, ate at this chinese food place, and left. took aja and dj home, then drove home ourselves. i should remember what we did after that, but i don't. monday we didn't get up till about 10:30, then we sat around and tried to decide what to do.. so we ended up going to hastings and i bought red dragon and boondock saints on dvd. then we went to el chico and ate, and i spilled a dr pepper on myself. i'm surprised john didn't get up and walk out. lol. i felt like such an ass. but it dried up pretty fast and didn't get EVERYWHERE so it wasn't too bad. then we went.. somewhere.. then we went to the disjointed house where they were getting ready to leave for a show. we played hack for a little bit and i looked at the house next door that's empty. looks like it is about to go up for rent pretty soon, and when it does, i'm gone. it would be nuts to live next door to disjointed. john is over there all the time and shit is always going on. they jam pretty much every night so there is always people over. it would be awesome. anyways, that's about the extent of my weekend. i went to sleep last night wound tightly in john's arms. best valentine's day weekend i have ever, ever had. oh, and john is buying me a BUNNY! yay. time for work. bye guys.

[	Current Mood	|	frustrated	]
[	Current Music	|	Snow.	]

yes. it is. god, i hate snow unless it's on a mountain. this snow is useless to me. PLUS i have to drive four hours north and snow really isn't gonna help. it would be easier not to go, but i really really want to see john, especially since it's valentine's day and all. i called work to make sure we were still opening and mark said yes, but to come in an hour later cuz we're not gonna be busy and he can handle everything by himself until we open, so that's nice. an extra hour to finish laundry and pack and take a shower and all that good stuff. i will never understand texas weather. ever. anyways, i am gonna get moving with the things i need to do this morning. happy valentine's day and PLEASE be safe, it's dangerous out there. <3

[	Current Mood	|	drunk	]
[	Current Music	|	Elliot Smith.. but i dunno what.	]

i had so much fun tonight. unfortunately ashlee cancelled our plans cuz of her mom, but that's okay. already forgiven. i was just sitting here and nick (AIM: oi oi) invited me out to dallas to drink and hang out with his friends. well i was kinda iffy at first, but i ended up going. oh man, it was great. i took pictures of me and nick and evan quite drunk with my camera-phone and eventually i'll put them in a yahoo folder or on my myspace webpage and stick a link in here. they are so funny. i am still kinda drunk so i'm probably repeating myself. this guy marcus was there too but he passed out on the couch while we had our fun with the camera. then marcus woke up and this guy jeff and some other guy showed up and nick played guitar while jeff made up silly lyrics. god it was so fun. i am HOPEFULLY going back out there tomorrow to celebrate nick's getting a job. hope he gets it. i love mickey's 40s. amen. i am going to bed. ashlee, we are hanging out next week. damn skippy.

[	Current Mood	|	cold	]
[	Current Music	|	"Nowhere Kids" - Smile Empty Soul.	]

i know, i know. i shouldn't get involved in other people's business. but i just can't help it. i feel bad for ashlee cuz she is having to deal with the bullshit with anna and craig. i feel bad for anna cuz she seems like a cool chick and she is just gonna get fucked over by craig and left for dead. and.. well.. craig i just don't give a shit about anymore. i got over that a long time ago. i say.. give anna a few months and she'll realize her mistakes and come to her senses. but i don't know if ashlee will ever forgive her. she went through a lot just to forgive me and i dunno if she is willing to do it again. i don't care what anyone says. ashlee is the sweetest girl i have ever met, and when i see that someone is hurting her, i wanna tear them apart. yes, people will dispute that statement, but i don't care. people who are convinced are never necessarily correct. some people have only seen craig's side of the situation, and some have only seen ashlee's. i've seen both. craig was a great friend while we were friends. we had lots of fun together and i miss that. but i don't miss being used. i hated ashlee at first because i only saw craig's side of everything and refused to believe that he could be anything short of an angel. HA. once i met ashlee and got to know her, i learned what i had been missing out on. i kinda wish that ashlee and craig had had a better relationship and stayed together so i could be both their friend. that would make me happy. but it's not that way. i have ashlee as a friend and i am grateful that she is in my life.

work update: one of the main guys at work came in and quit today. mark (my boss) was not too happy with that. then the dishwasher (brandon) called in and said he couldn't come in cuz he dropped a 35lb. weight on his toe. ryan said "you don't wash dishes with your toe!" mark laughed. then he hired two new people. ben and kadi. hopefully they aren't complete morons or i might have to straighten them out with the meat fork.

that's all for now.

[	Current Mood	|	nervous	]
[	Current Music	|	"Dig" - Mudvayne.	]

as is usual, lately, i have been thinking about moving. but not the actual ACT of moving, but what people are gonna think (more specifically my mom). well.. i don't think she will be too happy about it, to be perfectly honest. but.. i have to realize that i have to live for myself, not to make her happy. i know she just wants what is best for me, but i feel like doing this would make me happy, if that is what john and i decide. he is almost 22 and i am almost 21. we're not kids anymore, but we're not old either. we are, however, old enough to make our own decisions. but the thing is.. this decision.. it scares me more than anything i've ever been faced with. it makes me queasy to think about it. i've never been further than 20 minutes away from my dad OR my mom.. and it just scares me to move four hours away ON MY OWN. i wouldn't be able to rely on them for help anymore. as i type this, i'm literally trembling. of course, it is kind of cold in my room, but it's also from this. it's the fear of the unknown. i don't know EXACTLY what is going to happen if/when i move up there. i know i would move up there with at least $1000 in my wallet in case there was an emergency. but after i got up there? god.. i don't even know. *sigh* i'm just so scared. i know this is what my heart wants.. but i'm still so unsure. i've never been so scared in my life.

any thoughts would be appreciated, guys. <3

you know.. i was laying here in bed listening to a cd called "celtic whispers" and i felt the need to post. i wish everyone had something they were passionate about. my sophomore year in high school, i attended my first renaissance faire. for passing the taas test, we got to go to scarborough faire, in waxahachie. going there ignited a flame of passion in me. i live for renaissance faires. listening to music like this makes me long to be at one, worse than i long for most anything. i know why i am out of sorts with the world i live in. because i don't belong here. i belong in this fantasy realm where dragons and faeries and knights roam the land. where kings and queens rule over the peasants and the simple pleasures in life are enjoyed. i wish a million times over that i had actually had the chance to live back then. *sigh* sometimes i think me and john met in a different life. maybe back then.. cuz we both share the same love for renaissance faires, and we keep finding one another. i feel safe with him. like he knows exactly what i'm thinking, and i don't have to say a word. he puts his arms around me and i'm protected. i want to live in a renaissance faire. i want someone to shut me in a book of magic and wonder, with faeries flitting about and dragons breathing fire on a knight's crested shield, and never let me out. i want to wake up every day and put on a bodice and a pair of wrap-pants and some leather boots and go out onto the dirt paths, drink mead with the faerie folk and sing loudly and belligerantly with the pirates. then when the sun goes down, i want to gather with the rest around a blazing fire and dance to the drumbeat until the last bottle is emptied and the last eye closed. i lead two separate lives. my normal life unwillingly, simply waiting for the faire to come around so i can sneak out of my shell and be who i really am. maybe this is sleep deprivation talking, but i felt the need to get this out. if you have never been to a renaissance faire, go. if you can, dress up and take part. i guarantee you will have more fun than you can imagine. and it will instill in you a sense of longing for times past.

[	Current Mood	|	crazy	]
[	Current Music	|	"Used For Glue" - Rival Schools.	]

i got valentine's day undies today. i'm a goober. this will be the first time i have ever had a boyfriend on valentine's day and we aren't even doing anything. i KNOW he won't get me anything but that's okay. as long as i get to see him i'll be okay. but anyways, about my undies. it's a black bra with light pink lace trim, and black mesh boy-short undies with the same light pink trim. *prances around* i feel pretty, oh so pretty! haha.

[	Current Mood	|	contemplative	]
[	Current Music	|	Silence.	]

went to visit john this weekend, of course. he said next weekend if he has any money (depends on if he gets to finish the buildings they are building or not. *rawr* love me some muscle.) we should go to tulsa and see if there are any good jobs there. he had a brilliant idea this past weekend (i love smart guys too.) about a house. well.. grant is one of john's best friends, and a friend of mine as well. his grandma passed away not too long ago and left her house to grant's mom. but nobody lives there. it's a pretty decent house. not huge by any means but i don't want a big house to clean. 2 or 3 bedrooms. and it's on about 1 1/2 to 2 acres of land with a barn and a huge backyard. and it has furniture already in it. grant was thinking about moving into it but he doesn't have a job or money to pay bills or anything like that so john said he would talk to paula (grant's mom) about it. needless to say i'm not moving in there unless john does, but john and i need to really think about this before we decide whether we want to or not. cuz i don't want to get up there with everything i own and find out he changed his mind. currently, i think he wants to move in with me cuz he sure is trying to help me out a lot. it's just a big decision for me to make. i would be about 4 hours away from EVERYTHING i know, except john and his family, grant and his family, dj and his family, and my best friend aja. but it is still a huge step and i don't know if i am ready for it. my heart tells me i am but my brain is going "hold on.. you want to do what?!" my dad will stand behind me no matter what decision i make because he wants me to be happy, and he will always be there for me. but my mom.. well she is a totally different story. i think i might actually go to school to become a registered nurse if i move up there. they always need nurses and blood and guts don't scare me. and they make pretty good money. i'd just have to do it a little at a time like i am doing now, cuz i would have to work to pay all my bills like i am doing now. but instead of paying $325+ for a 2 story apartment between two loud-ass annoying neighbors, i would pay a little more to live in my OWN HOUSE with no neighbors withing earshot and live with john. but like i said.. it's a big step to take and it is going to take a lot of thought and planning. i can't do like aja did and just move up there with nothing. only time will tell.

[	Current Mood	|	sleepy	]
[	Current Music	|	"Mer De Noms" - A Perfect Circle. i dunno the song title.	]

so i went to see my dad today to borrow some money and i was talking about how i hate school and how i visit john on the weekends. and he magically knew that i wanted to move up there. i was like "..how'd you know?" and he just started talking about how it was my decision but if i moved up there, he wouldn't be able to drive up there and get me if something went wrong. and then he asked how i was gonna tell my mom and i was like "..i'll tell her as i'm driving away in the uhaul truck?" hah. my mom would shit tin bricks if i told her i was moving to oklahoma. i don't even know if john was being serious about moving in with me, so it's all simply a vague possibility still. i'll ask him this weekend. i love my dad, and it would be so hard to be away from him but i really feel like i need to spread my wings and get out and away. i don't want to spend my whole life in texas. sure, oklahoma isn't much better, but i love it up there. it's pretty. not so much big city, and it has mountains and stuff. not like colorado mountains, but texas is just fucking flat. i don't think my mom would ever understand. she thinks money is everything, and i don't. i would rather work for what i have so i can be proud of it, and have only what i need, rather than having so much money that i don't know what to spend it on. even having so much money doesn't make my mom happy. she wants me to go to college when no one in our family has gone. my dad says i'm not the type to go to college. i'm too much of a wandering spirit to be locked down in one path for the rest of my life. i think i am just gonna get my associate's degree and be finished with it. i don't see myself ever going to a university. i can't sit down and go "this is what i want to wake up to for the rest of my life." the only thing i know i want to wake up to for the rest of my life is the person who loves me when no one else does. and when i find them, then i'll be happy. maybe it's john. maybe it's not. but you have to admit, it wasn't luck that brought him back after two years of being apart, and one year of not seeing or even talking to him at all. something is still there.


hopefully it's not boredom.

went with adam to get his tattoo. it looks really good. hopefully he'll like finger eleven for the rest of his life. he should send in a picture to them. i think he likes me, and wanted to kiss me, but i didn't. he's cute, but i can't do that to john. i can't do that to adam either. even if john might do that to me (though i strongly doubt it if he wants to retain his manhood), i could never do it. not to anyone unless they hurt me and i just stopped caring. but i haven't been hurt that bad so far, so i wouldn't count on it ever happening. so that's my rambling for the night. tomorrow/today is saturday which means i'll be leaving for oklahoma after work. i never answer my cellphone up there so it's pretty pointless to call. i'll be back monday night cuz i really need to go to class if i ever intend to get my associate's. night guys. <3

[	Current Mood	|	happy	]
[	Current Music	|	"Ender" - Finch. Good idea, Ash.	]

just saw the butterfly effect with the most lovely ashlee. what a fucking incredible movie (and the company wasn't bad either). i didn't think it was gonna be all that great but OH MY GOD was i wrong. one of the best movies i've seen in awhile. it makes you laugh, makes you freaked out out of your mind, and it makes you cry! THE ENDING IS SAD! girls, take tissues if you are easily brought to tears cuz this one had me pretty tore up. guys, definitely a movie to take your girlfriends to. plenty of fucked up shit, some blood, and your girl will be attached to you like crazy. i woulda been in ashlee's lap but i think i woulda squished her.

ashlee- thank you for going with me, hun. i missed you so much! it was good to see you again. you are such a beautiful girl and you make me smile everytime i see you. thank you thank you a million times for all the times you've forgiven me and given me another chance. i love you for it. :)

well that's it for now. no mo updates till monday or tuesday probably since i'll be in oklahoma. unfortunately i will have to start coming home on monday thanks to stupid class. i hate higher education.

[	Current Mood	|	tired	]
[	Current Music	|	"Obvious Heart" - Finger Eleven.	]

You feel happy, and loved. Nothing could be any
better for you....you may even have a love one
in your life....go you. (Please Vote)


What Emotion Dominates you?
brought to you by Quizilla


by the way. i hate work and school. blah. i don't wanna go to either but i gotta. *sigh*

[	Current Mood	|	hopeful	]
[	Current Music	|	"The Patient" - Tool.	]

okay, so. none of my updates are really all that life-changing. until now, anyways. here we go. *deep breath*

alright. so i was visiting john (my boyfriend, for those who don't know) this weekend, and the topic of finances came up. we were driving back from my best friend aja's house/trailor in colcord, OK where she lives with john's best friend, DJ cuz they are together and have been for over 2 years. anyways, it's about an hour and a half drive back to muskogee where john lives and we started talking about how much cheaper everything is in oklahoma. my roommate and i pay $650 a month for our apartment, when in oklahoma i could get a pretty nice HOUSE for that much. that being said, we talked about the possibilities of my moving up there, vaguely about what would have to be done in order for me to move up there, and things of that nature. john automatically thought that he would be living with me, which he would, but the fact that he just ASSUMED that makes me kinda happy, y'know? john is one of the few guys i can be around 24 hours a day and not get fucking irritated out of my skull. this is gonna sound weird, but if i could CREATE the perfect guy for me, he would be modeled after john. i don't like guys who are too nice. john is a complete fucking asshole. to everyone else. to me, he's nice but he picks on me a lot which is kinda his way of showing affection, cuz he never means it, and he apologizes profusely if he hurts me on accident. he touches me when he doesn't have to. like if we are sitting on his bed and i'm playing a video game, he'll rub my back or rest his hand on my leg. stuff like that makes me happier than anything material could ever do. i dunno. just the idea of living with john (i.e. settling down, i guess) gives me butterflies. we'd never be rich, by any means, but i'd be more than happy to work everyday for the rest of my life if it meant being with john. i don't even want a big house. i want a place that is MINE. with just enough room for me and john to live, and our friends to hang out. it doesn't have to be nice, but not falling apart. next weekend when i go up there, we are going to tulsa if john has any money and i am gonna get a newspaper and look at the classifieds to see what kind of jobs i can get up there. then i'm gonna get john to drive around with me and look at houses that are for sale. but first i need to sit down and talk to john and make sure he is serious about moving in together. so.. if all goes as planned, i might be gone by this summer. i'll be back to visit, of course. the hardest thing is gonna be telling my parents. and figuring out school stuff since texas does things differently than other states. i might have to take the SAT or ACT before i can get into a college up there whereas in texas i didn't have to, thanks to TAAS and TASP. anyways, that's my update for now. more info to come if you cared enough to read this far.

[	Current Mood	|	irritated	]
[	Current Music	|	"One Thing" - Finger Eleven.	]

i do. i'm tired of brandon acting like i'm the one living in HIS house. he never cleans shit, never picks up after himself, but he bitches about everything. SO.. i need a new roommate. if anyone needs a place to live and can pay about $450 a month (rent, electricity, water, phone) let me know. otherwise..

i stole this from billy. downright ganked it gangsta-style.

10 bands you've been listening to lately

1. tool.
2. finger eleven.
3. afi.
4. story of the year.
5. rob zombie.
6. armsbendback.
7. cky.
8. alkaline trio.
9. (hed) pe.
10. system of a down.

09 things you look forward to:

1. getting the hell out of college.
2. getting the hell out of texas.
3. falling in love.
4. seeing my boyfriend this weekend.
5. taking a shower.
6. sleeping.
7. getting my paycheck.
8. sleeping.
9. talking to a few spectacular people.

08 things you like to wear:

1. my green kristian svitak 88s. my boyfriend hates them. hah.
2. jeans.
3. hoodie. usually zip-up but i got a new stillborn nursery one i like.
4. pajama pants.
5. lots of metal in my head. (eg. piercings)
6. the necklace john gave me.
7. my ring with stars on it that is KINDA like the one john stole.
8. my star necklace that i never take off.

07 things that annoy you:

1. john living so far away.
2. work.
3. homework.
4. shitty music.
5. people who like shitty music.
6. people in general.
7. GIRLS. ugh.

06 things you say most days:

1. son of a whore.
2. man, fuck that.
3. jesus shit.
4. i hate this crap.
5. STFU and GTFO.
6. go away.

05 things you do everyday:

1. wake up.
2. go to work.
3. come home from work.
4. shower.
5. sleep.

04 stores you love to shop at:

1. any record store.
2. starship records and smoke shop in tulsa.
3. hot topic but i wouldn't call it love. they have some cool t-shirts.
4. target.

03 movies you could watch over and over again:

1. house of 1000 corpses. ( i don't wish, i watch it every night.)
2. pirates of the carribbean.
3. finding nemo.

02 of your favorite songs at the moment:

1. "one thing" - finger eleven.
2. "parabol" and "parabola" - tool.

01 thing you can't live without:

1. air. duh. just kidding.. um.. love. not necessarily romantic love, but also familial and friendly love.

[	Current Mood	|	restless	]
[	Current Music	|	"Parabol" - Tool.	]

this was posted in craig's journal. funny i found it. i never read his journal anymore, but there was a link to it from ashlee's journal.

Its like my brains tells me: HEY! Dont waste your time with that girl whos been waiting by your side for months now. Jus' waiting for you to break it off with that "other" girl so she can give you a decent relationship and jus' about everything you wanted! Nooooo! That'll fuck up our little circle! Date the slut youve been trying to mend stuff with for years now! It'll only get better. *sticks thumbs down*

gee. that was me. so very long ago. but OH WELL. fuck him. he says he hates drama but the fact is he IS drama. he's the biggest drama queen i know. sadly, i spent a lot of time trying to be his friend. but so much for that.

in other news, leaving for oklahoma tomorrow. gonna see john and i think aja and dj might come hang out, if not, just aja will. i wish i could just move up there, but i think i need to wait before i make any strong committments like that. but it's just so amazing to me that after 2 years of being broken up, there is still that spark there between us. huh. oh well. i don't want to get my hopes up.

ashlee - we need to hang out soon. next week we're gonna be CHINESE!

have a good one guys. talk to you monday. or tuesday. <3

[	Current Mood	|	hopeful	]
[	Current Music	|	"Planet, Schmanet, Janet" - Tsunami Bomb.	]

alright, i have news and no one will read it, but that's okay cuz it will help me to get it out. so here goes. i'm gonna start from the beginning.

characters:
me - self-explanitory
aja - my best friend
DJ - guy from oklahoma
john - guy from oklahoma, DJ's best friend

a little over two years ago, aja and i attended hawkwood medieval fantasy faire as we always did. well.. there were some hot ass guys there. dj and john. well, as the faire season progressed (one month), aja hooked up with dj, and i hooked up with john. after faire was over, aja and i continued to see dj and john, driving up to muskogee, OK, whenever we could to see them. well.. about six months into the relationship, john decided he didn't want to see me anymore which sucked, but shit happens. oh, and i lost my virginity to john in a tent in the woods in the freezing-ass rain during faire, but that's not so important. well it kinda is. anyhow, i saw him the october after that at the castle in muskogee for the halloween faire and we weren't on the best terms, but i had come up with aja. somewhere in between there aja moved up to oklahoma. well.. i didn't see john at all after october 2002. and then last thursday aja calls me and says that she's coming down to visit and john wants to come. i was shocked. what the hell would john want? ass maybe? yeah, that's what i thought. anyways, i kinda got excited. i mean, this was the first guy i ever loved. seriously. so.. his wanting to see me would definitely excite me. but turns out he had to work saturday so he couldn't come. i decided that i needed to go see him, so i did. i was sooo nervous when i got there. i knocked on the door and andy (john's dad) opened it. of course he gave me a hug. everyone up there loves me, even when john didn't. so anyhow. we go into john's room with JC (DJ's brother), DJ, and Grant (their friend) and we're just kinda chillin' and watching the guys play videogames. john keeps pokin' me and giving me a hard time, his way of flirting, and eventually i ended up sitting on the bed by him. well.. grant left, JC and DJ went and crashed, and i stretched out on john's bed, and he was on the couch. i said something to the effect of "fine, i didn't want you to sleep in your bed anyways!" and he like.. jumped on the bed. well he laid down behind me and scooted closer, finally slipping his arms around me. he said something about how he just wanted to hold me. and from then on, it just felt perfect. sunday he would hardly let go of me. he's not the kind of guy to be affectionate in front of his friends, but he was being affectionate this time. i think he's grown up a little since i've seen him last. maybe not in the way he acts towards his friends, but towards me, and emotionally. i think he got taken advantage of and realized how good i had been to him. have you ever held or been held by someone and it just felt like there was nothing in the world you wouldn't do for them? that's how i feel. i feel like something that was missing has been replaced, and i'd do anything to keep it. at one point, when everyone had wandered out of the room, he put his arms around me and he said "you know i would never hurt you, right?" i hope he means it this time. i won't put up with any shit this time around. everyone deserves a second chance, in my opinion, and he better not screw up. cuz this is the last chance, i hope he makes it last. i wish it was saturday already.

[	Current Mood	|	bored	]
[	Current Music	|	"Tiny Vessels" - Deathcab for Cutie.	]

Googlism for: danielle

[	Current Mood	|	accomplished	]
[	Current Music	|	"Divide And Conquer" - Story of the Year.	]

i spill my heart for you.

okay. so. yesterday was thanksgiving. god what a hectic day. i woke up at like 11:30 and rolled around on my bed not wanting to get up. finally got up, went to my mom's house, ate, left. went to my dad's house where all my crazy italian new york family was gonna eat. man, they are crazy. we ate AGAIN. i was freakin' stuffed to the point of bursting by then. i couldn't handle the arguing of my crazy relatives anymore so i disappeared to my dad's room to lay down until 5:00 PM when i was supposed to call jeremy. i fell asleep. oops. i ended up waking up at 5:40 PM going "oh shit!" so i called jeremy and he wanted to borrow my belt. went to my house to get my belt, deposited a check in the bank, then drove to grapevine to get jeremy. THEN we drove out to dallas and stood in line forever cuz wendi's friend frank and jeremy didn't have tickets yet. it was cold as fuck. anyhow, we finally got in, and it was an awesome show. hot new couple wasn't really my cup o' tea. denver harbor (ex-fenix tx) were pretty good, story of the year was fan-fucking-tastic, as always, and sugarcult was okay. the singer of denver harbor's wife, sharon, took us out to their RV and we sat out there and talked and she gave us all drinks while sugarcult was playing, then we went back in after they were done. we ended up talking to dan from soty for awhile, then after everyone was done packing up, we went out to where the busses were and hung out with the guys from soty and denver harbor. i finally got the rest of soty to sign my shirt, and jeremy got them to sign his shoe. haha. i am really glad jeremy likes story of the year that much. it makes me feel good to introduce people to new music. i introduced him to the postal service and story of the year, so far. and i'm not done yet. in the past six days, there has been one day that we didn't hang out, and that's cuz he forgot his cellphone at home so he didn't have my number. ANYWAYS. after we got home from hanging out with denver harbor and soty, we watched part of gangs of new york but i kept falling asleep so i was finally like "okay, i gotta go home. i am about to die." so he turned off the movie and walked me to the door and gave me a hug and told me to call him when i got home so he knew i made it okay. heh. i like jeremy. he's so weird though. it's hard to get used to, but either i am getting used to it or he is calming down a little. i think he is getting used to me, too. maybe the weirdness is partially a nervousness thing. oh well. i have fun with him, and that is all that matters. yesterday was a great night.