Tuesday, February 18th, 2003
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10:02 pm
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Wednesday, February 5th, 2003
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7:34 pm
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this is the link to my new journal....http://www.xanga.com/hxcmelolee
I might still write in this one but i dont know yet...i guess it just depends on what i feel like doing.....now i'm gonna go watch dawsons creek!!!
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(comment on this)
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Thursday, January 30th, 2003
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8:36 pm - its been a while...
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things have been going alright lately...ummm i tried to write in here a few days ago and it wouldnt let me but last friday we didnt really do anything uhh....i talked to seth and he told me he loved me so i guess thats a really good thing...he still confuses me sometimes...saturday i had fun...amber and i went to eat at long john silvers and we stold these pirate hats and it was funny then we went to best buy and circut city and i finally bought donnie darko and i got the wedding planner, 40 days and 40 nights and fight club then we went to the movies and saw darkness falls its an alright movie but it wasnt like the best ever i like the ring better...there was some chick sitting next to me and she kept screaming at the top of her lungs when a scary part would come on and i think she scared me more than the movie did...it was so funny i dont think i've ever heard anyone scream like that before in my life...haha....and then that night arron and adam came to visit...they didnt get to stay very long but it was so fun...we took a bunch of pictures and i cant wait until they come stay with us one weekend....all week i've just been going to class and stuff...other than that and our little photoshoot with amber nothing else has went on...we're all gonna go home tomorrow and i'm gonna stay with my mom cause she moved into a cleaner place but brian is home so we'll get to hang out with him for a bit and that will be great i plan on taking some pictures and i think we're gonna give him his frame we made for him and seth but seth wont get his for a while...i hope we get to see brian on spring break but i dont know what my dad is gonna do yet like if he's going with us or how we're gonna get to florida but i'm sure he'll let us stop in georgia to see brian or brian can go visit seth and we'll see him then...i cant wait plus it will be great cause we'll be out of school...i hate school but i'm getting through it...i wish there could be some kind of major that i could do that has history of rock...i love that class its so fun...i think next semester i might take like an intro class to photography...i think that would be alot of fun...well i'm gonna go cause i've written enough for now...
current mood:  hopeful
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Thursday, January 23rd, 2003
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2:45 pm - haha...no clase today..
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well it snowed alot last night and we dont have clase today...its great except we misses our history of rock class and its fun...nothing much has been going on these past few days...just going to class and stuff...i went to my moms and she gave me the 700$ and i gave amber some of it and i went shopping for some stuff i needed...i also have that extra financial aid check for almost 400$...i hope i dont spend it all really quick...i need to save it...i wish all my w-2's would come soon so i can file my taxes already...brian comes in today...i was supposed to pick him up but then it started snowing and i cant drive in the snow so now his parents are going to pick him up and we wont be able to hang out with him now and it sucks...i dont think he plans on hanging out with us the whole time he's back unless we go home and i dont want to cause my car sucks and i dont need it breaking down or anything...ummm...april had her baby so now im a godmother...she had a little girl and named her autumn marie...she's so cute...i bought her little booty socks and a towel and some stuff if she get sick....i cant wait to see her again...i love her....seth and i are doing good...we talk usually every few days and he wants me to move in with him in florida for the summer...i figure i'll go stay with him for 3 or 4 weeks...everyone is thrilled about that....the people i love have so much faith in me...amber thinks i'm stupid and that i'll never come back and my mother thinks i'll go there and get married or pregnant and i'll drop out of school and ruin my life and she'll never see me again....then she had to give me the whole "your almost 20" speech about how its my decision and how by the time she was my age she was already making her own decisions...like i'm not right now or something...I think it will be fun staying with him and he's happy about it too....anyways i know it'll be hard for me to come back and leave seth cause by then we'll be seeing eachother everyday and it will be harder than it is now but i know that i will come back cause i need to finnish school and do things for myself before i do them for someone else...i want to finnish school here cause i like it here now and i think for anything i want to be i'll be in school for more than just 4 years...oh well...i'm really bored and i have a headache so i'm gonna go do something....
current mood:  lazy
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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Saturday, January 18th, 2003
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3:54 pm - slow days...
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well...i've been here for a little over a week now and it seems like i've been here for a month...the days are going by so slow...i guess its cause we get out of school at the end of april...i cant wait...its been so boring for me here...all i do is stay in my room and watch movies or sleep...i didnt go to any classes on friday...i really didnt feel like doing anything and i was in a bad mood all day...then seth woke me up at like 5am and he was being an ass so i told him not to call me back when he asked...i hate it when he's around all his friends cause he acts so different...i dont get him...he almost tells me he loves me then he tells all his friends that i'm just his friend...ahhh..guys suck donkey balls...haha...amber says that...its funny....i wish he wasnt afraid to talk to me about things or telling his friends that he's a sappy guy...but oh well...i'm bored...i need to find something to do around here...yeah my mom tried to cheet me out of my money...she's retarded sometimes...i told her that she could claim me on her taxes if she gives me half of what she gets for me and she tried to say that she didnt get anything but i got it out of her...she was only gonna give me 500$ and im giving amber 300$ and i have to buy some stuff i'm out of so that wouldnt leave me much money to live off of...but i conned her into 750 so i'll have some money...plus i have to pay my phone bill...my mom kills me sometimes...my dad sent her like 2 dozen roses the other day and she doesnt care....my dad is still in love with her after 12 years and she's stupid cause he loves her and would do anything for her...he's paying her like 300 a month so she can move out of the nasty place she lives and afford something nice and still she doesnt want to be with him...and they were great together...oh well i'm gonna go for now cause im sick of thinking of my mom and dad....
current mood:  hot
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Thursday, January 16th, 2003
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7:31 pm - snow is so pretty
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well...i went to my rock and roll class today and it was ok....i have to write a paper on paul simon....then i came back here and slept for a while and when i woke up it was snowing alot...it was beautiful...and it just made me happy...i talked to seth last night and he got the letter i sent him and he said after he read it he wanted to tell me he loves me but he said he made a promise to himself about saying it so i think he's saying that he does love me but he just wont be telling me anytime soon...i got all giddy after he told me that and he said that he never meant to be mean to me cause i told him that he hurt my feelings a few times...i talked to brian for a few minutes today but he was watching porn so i told him i would just call him back later...he graduates from tech school on wednsday and then he's gonna come see me and amber that weekend so that should be fun...i think he's gonna stay with me and amber in that condo in florida over spring break...its gonna be fun too...me and amber went outside and took some pictures of the snow...it was pretty and everyone around here went up to the hill and they were sliding down it some people even had garbage bags...it was funny...ryan walked over with us and he stepped on this white plastic thing and almost fell and then i did...i almost busted my ass quite a few times...i think we're gonna go out later and slide down...i guess korby and a few other guys are gonna snowboard down it tomorrow morning...he wanted me and amber to get drunk with him tonight...it would be funny but i dont like to drink and i would get sick....i think they're gonna cancell classes tomorrow....that will be cool...i know we dont have espanol....and i hate that class so its a good thing...well...i'm gonna go cause im bored...
current mood:  cold
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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Wednesday, January 15th, 2003
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10:18 pm - home sweet home....
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well...im back in knoxville now...i came back on the 9th but my computer is still all messed up so i have to get it fixed sometime....my break was pretty good...i got to hang out with wendy one day but i wished i could have hung out more and then me and amber hung out with blake and his friend darrell...it was fun...they crack me up...we finally got to hang out with brian and seth which was great cause it seemed like it took forever for them to come home...my dad came in too...well i think seth is finally starting to like me more or just come out with his feelings...he confuses me...i told him i loved him and i guess at first it freaked him out but he says he's fine with it now and that he doesnt like to talk about it over the phone...but he always says that he likes me alot and he misses me so i guess i should just be happy that he's told me that much...i miss him alot...i cant wait to see him over spring break...i guess me and amber are going to palm beach and i think brian is gonna come stay with us too....it will be fun i think but i dont know how we're gonna get to florida, i'll figure something out...hopefully my dad will give us some spending money too....and i think we're gonna stop by and see blake....amber is excited...i'm back into school...well i still hate it but at least i'm going now...over the break i found out that they put me on academic review cause i made a C in english and i passed that exploring majors class which was only 1 credit so now i have a whole 4 credits and i had like 2 F's and a no credit for one class so my GPA is a .68....yeah so now i have to go meet with my advisor and she's gonna tell me if i dont bring it up to a 2.0 i'm gonna get kicked out...but so far my classes are alright...i despise spanish though and i have it right before i have english so after a while i'll be mixing my spanish with english...haha it will be funny...i kinda like my history of rock class and my anthropology class cause the teacher is into forensics....well i'm gonna go for now...i dont know when i'll get to write in here again...hopefully i'll have my computer fixed by then....
current mood:  dirty
current music: haha...that mood is just funny
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Tuesday, December 10th, 2002
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3:58 am - noise and kisses
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well tonight was alright...kinda boring...me and amber decided to build a new page cause our old one is well old...i did half of a survey...it is like 669 questions long...lisa went home today and now ambers room looks empty without all lisa's crap in it...jessica is actually staying home tonight...i dont think i'll say anything about the trash...i dont care anymore...ummm...i talked to paul for a little bit...he cracks me up...i didnt take my math final cause i knew i wouldnt pass the class even if i aced the final..it kinda sucks...i think me and amber are gonna stay with debbie over the break...i dont know how to tell my mom but oh well...its not like she can say that i cant...i have to sell my math book back tomorrow so i will have some money to see the used...it will be fun...well i guess im gonna head to bed....night...
current mood:  giggly
current music: nothing cause jessica is sleeping:(
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Monday, December 9th, 2002
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6:16 am - your breaking my heart....
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well i've been kinda busy latey...on friday me and amber went to city streets to see six centuries in japan but we missed them and we saw a few other bands...i bought me and amber scij t shirts but mine had a hole in it....it was kinda fun...then we went to elizabethton on saturday and saw six centuries in japan and red winter dying and we missed the first band...i got a different shirt from adam cause i was too afraid to talk to paul cause he's just beautiful and i know if i did i would have turned all red and i would studer or something else to embarass myself so i just asked that adam guy...amber bought their cd and she was gonna get me one but they ran out so he just told us to burn it..then on sunday we went to see red winter dying again and a band called dead to fall...they were pretty good but they're not as good as poison the well...but thats just me...ummm...i added paul to my list on msn and i guess it sent something to him cause he started talking to me....he's really nice...i dont know but seth better watch out...haha...j/k...seth called yesterday and we just talked about a bunch of nonscense for a bit then he had to go to work...i miss him alot and i dont get it cause i've been thinking about paul lately but i dont even know him all i know is that his name is paul and he has a pretty voice...he seems like a great person though and i wish i knew him better and i just think its kinda weird that i've been thinking about someone i know nothing about when i am so into seth...i studied a little bit for my exam today but i quit...i think i would fail it even if i studied...i'm already gonna be a freashman next year so why not....but i think im gonna clean my act up...like seriously....cause i want to get out of here....im pissed off at my roomate cause she never takes the trash out then a while ago a big fat cockroach climbed out of the garbage can and i almost had a heart attack but i killed it...so im gonna tell her she needs to take it out cause thats just nasty...she makes me mad cause she never does anything...she's taken the trash out once and its not like its all that hard to do cause the trash cans are down the hall and i had to clean her nasty hair out of our fridge cause she never did and out of the drain in the tub cause we couldnt take a shower without the tub filling up with water and i could tell it was her hair cause she's the only one with long hair...me amber and lisa all have short redish hair...not long brown hair...ahhh...she's so dirty...and the other day she cooked ramen noodles and when she drained the water out of the bowl she spilt a bunch of the noodles in the sink and i guess she ran the water and now they are in the drain...i wish she would just leave....i have my math final tomorrow and im not tired at all...its crazy...and i need to get up around like 2 so i can sell my math book back cause me and amber are going to see the used in nashville on the 11th and i only have a dollar...i hope i can at least get like 40 dollars for it cause it cost me almost 80$..and i think im gonna ask my dad for some money...well i guess im gonna find something to do cause im bored and im kinda sick of writing in here...all i know is that i wish scij play around here soon cause i love them....
current mood:  confused
current music: scij-love lost
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(comment on this)
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1:22 am - i am very bored
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~*~Start~*~
1.) What time is it?: 11:54pm
2.) What's the date?: December 8th 2002
3.) Are you siked about filling out this survey?: not really but i have nothing better to do
If you're not, too bad...
~*~All About You~*~
4.) Full name: melody lynn willis
5.) If you could change your name, what would you change it to?:umm...i actually like my name
6.) Age: 19
7.) If you could be any other age, what age would you be?: i dont want to be a different age
8.) Height: i think like 5'3 maybe
9.) Weight: 144
10.) Shoe Size: 9 sometimes 10
11.) Hair Color: brown when i dont dye it
12.) Eye Color: green
13.) Where do you live?: knoxville, tn
14.) Do you like it there?: sorta
15.) Why/why not?: cause i dont live with my mom but i dont think there is much to do here
16.) What's one thing that makes you unique?: my personality
17.) What are your best features? (on your face): my eyes
18.) Worst features?: umm...im not sure
19.) What about your body are you most confident about?: im not sure about that one either
20.) Most self-conscious about?: nothing really...im happy with the way i look
~*~If Your Life Were a Movie...~*~
21.) What would it be called?: nerd
22.) Who would play you?: umm...someone cool
23.) Who would play your leading man?: i dont know
24.) Who would play your arch enemy?: do i have to have one?
25.) Who would play your parents?: i'm not sure..someone that can act really good
26.) Any other characters?: all my friends
27.) What would it be rated?: R cause all my friends and family cuss alot
28.) What kind of movie would it be? (ex: action, romance, comedy..): hopefully a romance but my lifes not looking that way
~*~Favorite...~*~
29.) Hangouts: i dont have a favorite hang out...maybe in my car
30.) Websites: neopets...the used...poison the well...appalcore
31.) Movies: american beauty...the man in the moon...american history x...the ring
32.) Songs: blue and yellow-the used...nerdy-PTW...vow of silence-showdown...
33.) Sports: i dont really like sports...i like extream sports
34.) Sports Teams: UT cause i go to school there
35.) Fashion Designers/Brands: i like lei and mudd jeans
36.) Stores: target maybe...goodys sometimes pac sun
~*~LEAST Favorite...~*~
37.) Bands/Groups: uhh...couldnt tell ya
38.) Songs: again
39.) TV Shows: i dont like those suvivor shows much or the race shows
40.) Movies: i dont like western movies much...i only like a few
41.) Sports Teams: who cares
42.) Foods: i hate cheesecake...yuck and i dont like eggs very much
~*~Family~*~
43.) Siblings: valeree, christina
44.) Parents: mala and terry
45.) Are your parents divorced/married/re-married/in rehab?: terry is not my biological dad but who cares...i dont know my real dad...and my mom and terry are divorced
46.) Do you like your family?: i love my family...even though they sometimes make me misrible
47.) Why/why not?: well...my dads always gone, he's a perfectionist,he wants me to be perfect,my mom is and alcoholic and she drives me crazy sometimes
48.) What's the best things about your dad?: if i needed anything he would do anything to get it for me...or help me
49.) The worst?: he's still in love with my mom and she doesnt care about him
50.) What's the best things about your mom?: we're so open with eachother,she has never restricted me with anything(curfew,boys,punishment,everything)
51.) The worst?: she's drinking herself to death,she's too desprate for men, she encourages me to do bad things(drugs,guys,drinking)
~*~Do you...~*~
52.) Like your appearance?: yes
53.) Like your personality?: yes
54.) Think you're funny?: yeah but in a stupid way
55.) Have a lot of friends?: yeah
56.) Usually go out on Friday nights?: maybe to a show once in a while
57.) Believe in aliens?: no
58.) Believe in love at first sight?: yes
59.) Believe in astrology?: sometimes...like horiscopes
60.) Have a boy/girl friend? If so, who?: no
~*~Friends~*~
61.) About how many friends do you have?: everybody but i have 3 favorites
62.) Who's your best friend(s)?: amber,brian,seth
63.) Who can make you smile, no matter what mood you are in?: brian
64.) Which person do you PRETEND to be friends with but secretly hate?: sunnie
65.) Do any of your friends just piss you off?: yeah...but i get over it cause i cant stay mad at them
66.) Do you get sick of your friends easily?: no...
67.) Which friend do you secretly LOVE?:seth but i dont think its a secret
68.) If you could have 5 friends stranded on an island with you, who would you pick?: amber,brian,seth,ummm...ok so i dont have 5
69.) Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you are comfortable enough with to talk about almost anything? If so, who?: yes..brian
~*~Love~*~
70.) Are you in love?: no
71.) If not, have you ever been in love?: i thought i was but no
72.) Have you ever wished it was more "socially acceptable" for a girl to ask a guy out?: i think it is socially acceptable
73.) Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive?: yes
74.) Would you be willing to give up sex in exchange for an emotional commitment you knew would last?: no cause it wouldnt be real
75.) What's more important, love or sex?: love
76.) Would you still carry out a relationship if you family absolutely hated the person you were dating? (See "Meet the Parents"): yes
77.) Have you ever fallen for one of you friends? yes
~*~Would you like to have...~*~
78.) A one-way ticket to Italy?: yes
79.) An ice-cream sundae?: yes
80.) Aretha Franklin's attitude and her tell-you-off voice?: not really
81.) A trip around the world with nothing but the clothes on your back?: yeah...it would be fun
82.) Your brother/sister go away somewhere for a really long time?: no...i love my sisters
83.) The lyrics to "Muskrat Love" permanently deleted from your memory?: uhhh???
84.) Your mother's legs?: not really...i like my own legs
85.) John Cusack?: ehh...no
86.) An easy bake oven?: i wish i did...i could bake cookies in my dorm room...not a bad idea...haha
~*~Have you ever...~*~
87.) Drank?: yes
88.) Smoked?: yes
89.) Done drugs?: yes
90.) Had sex?: yes
91.) Grinded with a complete stranger?: i dont think so
92.) Do you consider yourself a bad person for doing all that?:well..drinking i havent did much of so no, smoking i do and it sucks, drugs i've smoked pot before and took pills and it was stupid,sex...no cause i dont think im a slut or anything...
93.) Danced around the house wearing nothing but a towel?: im sure i have
94.) Told someone you loved them?: yes
95.) Needed to tell somebody something but were afraid you couldn't trust them?: yes
96.) Cut class?: oh yes...i got truency in high school
97.) Got in a fight?: no
98.) Felt suicidle?: yes
~*~Right Now~*~
99.) Listening to: six centuries in japan
100.) Watching: my cursor..haha
101.) Wearing: socks...my favorite jeans(lei)..scij shirt...ptw hoodie...pyrimid belt...black bra and purple panties...
102.) Eating: nothing
103.) Thinking: i want to get to know this guy.....but im too shy
104.) Talking to: no one
105.) Feeling: bored
~*~Past, Present & Future~*~
106.) What is the craziest thing you've done in the past?: umm...i havent really did anything crazy...just a whole bunch of stupid stuff
107.) If you could change one thing you have done in the last 24 hours, what would it be?: maybe gotten up early enough to see daylight
108.) If you could've been born at any point in time, when would you pick?: uhh...now i guess
109.) List all the places you've visited in the past: oh gosh...tennessee,new york,north and south carolina,virgina,pensilvania,michigan,florida,georgia,indiana,ohio,idaho,navada,utah,kentucky,canada,missouri,california...i cant think of them all
110.) Right now, what is your biggest regret? not talking to paul at the show
111.) List some things you want to do before you turn 18: well im 19 so i dont know
112.) Do you want to get married?: yeah...someday
113.) If so, at what age?: when its right and im ready
114.) Who do you want to marry?: someone who cant be without me
115.) How will he propose to you?: something sweet..not complicated...and original
116.) What song will be played at your wedding?: do i look like i can see the future or something...haha
117.) How many guests will you have?: not too many...just friends and family
118.) Do you want to have kids?: yeah...
119.) If so, how many?: maybe 2
120.) What are you going to name your kids?: umm..i dont know...i like the name aevia...who knows
121.) If you found out you were going to die tomorrow, is there anything you would want to say or do?: yeah...i would want to tell everyone how i feel and how much i care about them
122.) What do you think would be the worst way to die?: being tortured or something eating you
123.) Best way to die?: sleeping
124.) Write your own gravestone engraving: uhhh...rip haha..i dont know
125.) What song will be played at your funeral?: i dont care cause i'll be dead
126.) Do you wish you could be alive when the world was ending, just to experience it?:no way
127.) If you had the choice to either go BACK 100 years or go FORWARD 100 years, which would you choose?: go forward
~*~I Wish...~*~
128.) I had...: a guy who loved me
129.) I didn't have...: mood swings
130.) My life were more...: interesting
131.) My life were less...: boring
132.) I could...: pick a major
133.) My family...: wasnt alcoholics and whores
134.) My best friend...: was happy all the time and found someone that is in love with her cause she's the greatest in the world
135.) My crush...: would tell me how he feels about me
~*~Random~*~
136.) If you could plan your own birthday party, and money was no object, what would you do?: ehhh...i would get all my friends and go to a different country maybe....or i would buy them everything they want
137.) What was your most embarassing moment ever?: something embarassing happens to me somehow everyday
138.) If your house suddenly caught on fire and you could save 3 things, what would you save?: my pictures...my clothes and probably my computer
139.) What would you throw into the fire?: my roomate...haha...j/k
140.) Is there something that you totally oppose? (Ex. Abortion, gays, biracial dating etc): i believe in some things and others i dont but i dont care what other people do...i guess it all goes by your morals and belifs
141.) If you got pregnant when you were really young, like 14, would you have an abortion?: if i got raped...i would give it up for adoption and if i just screwed around and had a kid i would keep it....i would never have an abortion
142.) Who would you risk your life for?: my friends and family and probably my old friends too or maybe anyone except my stalker and other certain people
143.) Have you ever owned a pair of pants that made you feel like you could do anything when you put them on?: uhh...no
144.) What's your favorite inside joke?: uhh...get the kid with the sideburns...its all i can think of
145.) How easy is it to make you laugh?: extreamly easy
146.) Do you laugh when you hear the number 69? (hehehehe!): no your dirty
147.) Would you like to be cloned? (I'm not offering, I'm just asking): no...that would suck
148.) Add another question to this survey and answer it:
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(comment on this)
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Tuesday, December 3rd, 2002
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2:48 am - ummm...
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well im extreamly bored...i tried writing in here earlier but it didnt work and i kinda made me mad...oh well...my holiday kinda sucked cause of my mother but i guess it will be alright...i think we'll end up getting in a big fight when i come home for xmas break and she'll kick me out...and it will suck...sunnie told debbie that her mom kicked her out and she wanted to stay there but debbie said no cause when she called sunnie she was at her mothers and then one of the days i was home i saw her pulling out of my driveway...me and amber think she's doing it cause all of us are coming home for xmas and she has no other way of hanging out with all of us cause none of us talk to her anymore....i guess she thinks we're still mad at her or something....but she lies to us....anyways....yesterday brian got on the internet and we got to talk to him for a little while and we did today too and we got his letter...he comes home on the 19th...its gonna be so fun...he's supposed to send us a list of music he wants for xmas...seth called like twice on wednsday and twice on thursday and then amber called him on saturday and he called us back that night...he misses us alot...he carries our pictures in his wallet....awwww....yeah...well i need to go to bed cause i gotta get up kinda early to go home....night...
current mood:  bored
current music: absolutly nothing
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(comment on this)
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Tuesday, November 26th, 2002
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5:21 am - breaking
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me and amber are going home tomorrow...well today...its really early in the morning and i'm still not tired...i cant wait to eat some good food for once...nothing much has been going on...i talked to dave the other day...he's one of the nicest people i know...me and amber just got back from being outside and some dumb ass threw 4 fire extinguishers out the window and these guys were outside and they were totally messed up so one of them started setting the extinguishers off and the other is an R.A and he was just like " man i probably shouldn't be out here watching this" but he was cracking up and telling the other guy to set them off...it was kinda funny...one of them was like now girls dont breath this stuff in cause its bad for you and when the one guy was setting them off the other guy was like you girls better back up so you dont get hurt...it was so funny and they were kinda cute...man we're gonna be so tired tomorrow cause we have to get up to eat at like 2...we'll be strugg'lin...haha...seth called us yesterday he finally got his cell phone and he now admits that he misses us...he told us that brian is in montana now but brian hasnt wrote us in a long time so he really needs to...all of us cant wait to see eachother on christmas break...he said the other night he got so trashed that he passes out on a table in a strip club then he couldnt remember where he lived so his cab ride was like 60 dollars...i think its kinda funny...i would laugh if i saw something like that...me and amber made these frames for seth and brian...they say stuff that means something to all of us and the gang and we painted them with glitter so they'll probably be like...girls this is gay...but they'll secretly love them cause we plan on taking a bunch of pictures over the break and we're gonna get them developed in like one hour or something and put a picture of the gang in them that they havent seen...i think its sweet and they'll love them...man...its like 5:30 and hannah just got on...wow...well i'm bored so i think i'll go play with stoobler or something...
current mood:  hyper
current music: cyndi thompson-best
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Monday, November 25th, 2002
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9:09 pm
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Saturday, November 23rd, 2002
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8:18 pm - friday sucked more than today....
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ok...yesterday totally sucked...me and amber took lisa home and she's staying there until at least next sunday...then we decided to go to see filbert cause josh said he wanted us to hear them and tell them what we thought...ok...i got so pissed off that i just walked out of there...all the people that showed up were the HV whores that were dressed like whores and had 10 gallons of makeup on and a bunch of jocks...ok for one thing josh wouldnt go to a good show with me and amber cause he said he didnt like all the preps that attend those kind of shows...oh josh look who was at your show...for another thing no one there could tell them how good or bad they were cause none of the people there even listen to that type of music...sure they've probably heard of blink 182 but thats not gonna tell them how good they are or the compatition they have to go up against....i will never go to one of their "shows" again unless i know that someone good is playing with them which will never happen cause they are shallow and only invite whores...i guess cause they think they'll get some and jocks....who probably make fun of them behind their backs...so after we left hannah i think went home and me and amber ended up going to the movies to see the ring which i thought was really good...and today we slept all day until like 5 then we went to eat and here we are on the computer and we'll probably be on here all night...i need to do some homework for english cause i have a paper to write in class on monday...and i'll have to do my homework for math all week so that i might pass that class and do good on my final on wed....i cant wait until christmas break...i'll get to hang out with wendy and suzanne and aaron and adam and seth and brian and most likely sunnie....i heard that she ended up going to that show...and tyler is such a lyer cause he told us that he hasent heard from sunnie in weeks...i just dont get why she would show up at their show....we tried calling her last week but she wasnt home....well im bored and im gonna do something...
current mood:  annoyed
current music: nothing
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Sunday, November 17th, 2002
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6:56 am - can't sleep...
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well its almost daylight and i cant sleep....all i can think about is how happy i will be when seth and brian come home...i miss them so much and i cant wait to see them both...its gonna be so great...i know i'll cry just cause they'll be back...oh well...well yesterday i went in to work and took my leave so i dont have to work anymore...i'm hoping that i will concentrate a little bit of my time on passing my 3 classes....i was sorta thinking about transfering to north east or something like that cause theres no point in me being here cause i never go to class i havent really learned anything here and i have no desire to really....so i'm just wasting money and i think i would be better for me to get my core classes done with to waste some time while figuring out what i want to do cause this is just not working....i have no desire to do anything to become something...the only thing i like about being here is that i live on my own...i dont know exactly what i'm going to do yet though...my life is still boring just like it always is...on tuesday night my stalker came in again but i saw him before he saw me cause i ducked down behind my register and then once he was out of site i made donnie take me off so the stalker wouldnt see me and then i met christian and lisa outside at christians car and we were going out to eat and lisa ended up not going so it was just me and christian but when i left walmart donnie had a coulple guys walk me out to christians car cause the stalker walked out before us and he stood by the drink machines and watched me until i left with christian...we went to denny's to eat and we just talked about crap but it was funner than hanging out here all night...he's called me a couple times and he wanted me to go to a party at his house but i dont want to cause i dont know him that well and he has a few roomates and i didnt want anything bad to happen...then he said it wasnt a party that we would just watch 8 mile together but i still dont really feel comfortable going over there by myself...i think he has other intentions than just watching a movie but again i dont know how he is he might really just want to watch a movie and i am not looking for anytype of relationship with him other than just being friends and hanging out together so i hope he doesnt want anything more...amber thinks he's weird cause he like begs me to hangout with him...he's a raver...i dont know...i would like to hang out with him but not go somewhere alone together where theres absolutly no one else around...me and amber rented movies the other night and they were good...i slept until like 7 yesterday...thats probably why i cant sleep any....i've only been up for like 12 hours...haha...all lastnight me and amber stayed on the computers doing all these stupid quizes then we watched the gang and amber said once we go home seth and brian will be back a week after we go home...i cant wait to see those boys....i need to clean my room sometime today and i need to read those stupid articles for english again and i need to study my biology and sociology cause i have tests in both classes on tuesday so i need to pass them or at least make a good grade on them cause i think i'll end up failing if i dont...then i need to go to the writing center on monday to revise my last paper...i made a C on it...its not bad but if i do a little better on it, it might bring my grade up a tad bit so i could pass...mike says if i come to every class which theres only like 5 left and i do good on the next two papers i should be able to pass...i need to register for my classes too cause i want to get him for english 102 cause i actually learn stuff from him...i dont know if its his personality that makes him a good teacher which it most likely is or if its cause he's really hot and thats what makes me pay attention...well either way i'm learning more in there than my other classes...well i think i'll try to go to sleep and if i cant i'll write brian and seth...nite...
current mood:  excited
current music: from autumn to ashes
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2:44 am
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12:42 am
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12:15 am
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series one - about you
---> Name: Melody Lynn Willis
---> Birthdate: October 14
---> Birthplace: San Louis Obisbo, CA
---> Current Location: Knoxville, TN
---> Eye Color: green
---> Hair Color: natural-brown right now-some redish color
---> Righty or Lefty: righty
---> Zodiac Sign: Libra
---> Innie or Outtie: innie
// series two - describe
---> Your heritage: umm....mexican
---> The shoes you wore today: my sketcher boots
---> Your hair: uhh...stupid looking
---> Your eyes: they look like they always do
---> Your weakness: seth
---> Your fears: never getting out of school...seth telling me he doesnt love me
---> Your perfect pizza: mushrooms and lots of cheese
---> One thing you'd like to achieve: finish school
// series three - what is
---> Your most overused phrase on aol\aim: im bored
---> Your thoughts first waking up: i dont want to go to class or work
---> The first feature you notice in the opposite sex: eyes---> Your best physical features: maybe my eyes
---> Your bedtime: about 4 or 5 am
---> Your greatest accomplishment: graduating high school
---> Your best memory: with the gang or back in the day with other friends like 2540
// series five - do you
---> Cuss: yes
---> Sing well: no...and everyone knows it
---> Take a shower everyday: usually
---> Want to go to college: im in college and i dont want to be here
---> Like high school: no...i hate anykind of school
---> Want to get married: yeah...someday
---> Type with your fingers on the right keys: yes
---> Believe in yourself: sometimes
---> Get motion sickness: no
---> Think you're attractive: no
---> Think you're a health freak: there is no way i am
---> Get along with your parents: most of the time cause i dont live with them
---> Like thunderstorms: yeah..i like the sound and i like lightening
---> Play an instrument: no but maybe someday i will
// series six - in the past 2 months, did/have you
---> Drank alcohol: no
---> Smoke(d): yes
---> Made Out: no
---> Go on a date: kinda
---> Go to the mall?: yeah
---> Been on stage: no
---> Been dumped: yes...mark stood me up
---> Gone skating: no
---> Made homemade cookies: no but i wish i did
---> Been in love: oh yeah
---> Gone skinny dipping: not since this summer
---> Dyed your hair: yes
---> Stolen anything: jessica's socks-dont ask
// series seven - have you ever?
---> Played a game that required removal of clothing?: yeah
---> If so, was it mixed company: yes
---> Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: yes
---> Been caught "doing something": it depends on what "something" is...but probably
---> Been called a tease: no
---> Gotten beaten up: no
---> Shoplifted: yes
---> If so, did you get caught: no
---> Changed who you were to fit in: no
// series eight - the future
---> Age you hope to be married: by my late 20's
---> Numbers and Names of Children: umm....maybe 2 but i would settle for one and they would have weird but beautiful names
---> Describe your Dream Wedding: umm...outside at night during the summer on a beach maybe
---> What age do you want to die: ummm...i've never thought of an age but it doesnt matter
---> What do you want to be when you grow up: something fun that i can become rich with
---> What country would you most like to visit: england
---> Current Clothes: my favorite jeans and a sweater
---> Current Mood: really bored...missing seth
---> Current Taste: nothing
---> Current Hair: umm...normal i guess
---> Current Annoyance: the way i feel about some things in the "past"
---> Current Smell: i dont smell anything
---> Current thing you ought to be doing: studying for bio or sociology
---> Current Desktop Picture: a picture of me,amber,seth,brian and sunnie
---> Current Favorite Groups: anah aevia, poison the well...hardcore or sad stuff
---> Current Book: i dont read books...haha
---> Current VCR In Player: ummm...van wilder is in my dvd player
---> Current Worry: school,my stalker,seth,things that happened a while back
---> Current Crush: seth always,brent a guy i work with
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Tuesday, November 12th, 2002
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5:11 am - sickness...
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well....i think amber has given me her sickness...right now my body is sore and it has been for the last couple of days...and i dont have much of an apatite lately....like im not hungry at all....today was alright...i went to english finally...but i think i can pass that class...if i go like everytime...i have no clue what to do about biology though and i dont think im gonna go to sociology tomorrow cause im really tired and i have to go into work early to get my check straightened out....we went to walmart today to get some cold medicine or flu...whatever....umm...i called in yesterday cause i felt like poop....tonight we rented some movies...we got where the heart is cause lisa haddent seen it and its good and we got life as a house and i swear its like the best movie ever i cried and actually all of us girls cried and lisa was really loud....uhhh....seth called yesterday and for some reason i actually had stuff to talk about so we talked for a while then amber didnt get to talk very long cause he was going somewhere but he called us back today and i talked to him for a few minutes and gave the phone to amber so she could talk for a while....i miss him alot...he comes back december 21st at 100 and i cant wait...brian comes home the day before...i miss him alot too...i miss talking to him....he's being an ass and taking advantage of me and amber cause we've wrote him like 3 or 4 times and he only wrote us once and seth said he wrote him like 3 letters...oh well...he really needs to write us so we can at least know how he's doing....well im going to bed cause i have to go into work early and it sucks....
current mood: cold
current music: rumpshaker
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Sunday, November 10th, 2002
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5:45 am - my life is so boring...
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boring, boring, boring....i havent been doing much lately...just working a lot...i've been working 40 hours a week and im actually trying to go to my classes...i know i'll have to go to summer school to keep up cause im stupid and i slacked off all this semester....nothing exciting has happend lately...my stalker came back in i dont know if i already wrote it in here but i'll tell everyone again....when i was checking someone out i looked up from my register and there he was staring at me like i was something he's never seen before and my heart dropped to my stomach and i started shaking....and he asked me if my boyfriend was still in texas and i said yeah but he's coming back this month and he just told me i was breaking his heart...so i gave him his shit and continued on with other customers....he sucks...i wish he would just go away...thats why im going to like x-mas break so much cause im thinking maybe he'll come in a bunch and i wont be there so he'll just give up....yeah i've so decided to quit walmart for break....and just go back in january cause i dont want to work while im on break....cause thats my time away from this stressfull city....and i want to have fun while i can cause when i get back here i've decided to burry myself in school...cause theres no point in me even going here if i dont pay attention, go to class and actually learn something...tonight i attempted to go to a club called fiction with christian and lisa from work...i figured it beats stitting at home playing with stoobler(my neopet) all night but it didnt work out cause christian got mugged a few days ago and he thought the guys only took his money but they took his licence too so he couldnt get in then we went to liquid to meet up with this other guy we work with who apparently lied to us cause he said he was a bouncer there and the guys there have never heard of him...so we went to the walmart parking lot and listioned to some music...so i dont think mark likes me anymore...he still talks to me all the time but tonight he told me he is supposed to go out with some girl next friday and i just told him not to stand her up like he did me and he just said he figured i didnt want to go so i told him how i was excited and got ready and everything but he didnt say anything...i think he felt kinda bad....oh well....theres this guy named jonathan that i work with that likes me...today he was asking me when i work and everything and then he was appoligizing cause he felt like he was all up in my business and he just told me that he thought i was interesting and he wanted to get to know me and he wasnt trying to force it upon me...i thought it was kinda sweet...but thats just me...but i dont think i need anyone in my life right now...cause i still have so many feelings for seth and i dont think that will work out even with knowing that i still dont want to be with anyone really....i just figure whats the point cause i know i'll just get my heart broken and im tired of being so sad all the time...like all i think about is seth and where is it getting me....no where just like it would if i was with someone else...sure i know that i'll be lonely but id rather be lonely than this sad all the time....is always in the back of my mind even when im enjoying myself....i think i need to see a doctor like seriously cause i think this place and everthing that comes with it is going to make me insane...like all the stress...how i fucked up with school and i'll have to stay here by myself over the summer cause im lazy and id rather sleep than do anything...how i work way too much and i just think im worn out on everything...its like i can be so tired that i think i'll fall asleep at the wheel driving home and when i get here and get into bed i cant sleep....like last night i got 4 hours of sleep...by the end of my shift i thought i was gonna fall over i was so tired then i went out for a while and look what time it is...6am....i can never sleep...i dont know what i need really but i guess im gonna try to sleep cause im just babbling on about a bunch of stupid crap.....this sucks balls
current mood:  stressed
current music: from autumn to ashes
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