| this post is a plea for mail... |
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| 01:24pm 22/08/2002 |
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apy i miss you.
also, your friends are doing fine, we've had some slumber parties, but they are still recovering from a traumatic incident which i shall not tell you about at this time. don't worry.
karl's coming in two days. karl email me or something. mary doesn't appear to care where you sleep while you're here so you may want to talk to her and let her know it is up to her to make arrangements.
kari, you never read this, but i figure i need to say hi.
gary, darling you post entirely too often for me to keep up with. lovesnhugs though sweetie. come visit me again or something. or hey, it's your turn to fly me and apy to new york =)
I have to go to work
xoxo |
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| graduation....... |
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| 01:31pm 08/06/2002 |
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mood:  excited music: the june spirit
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i think i'm sorta competitive. we played games last night at john's house. i was really good, i think i was a little too into it maybe, well, matt was too. i liked when we played spoons, it was good. my whole weekend is all full of good stuff. except right now, i gotta clean soon. but tonight is graduation, i hope i don't screw it all up. we have to read letters we wrote to our parents, they keep telling me i'm too quiet. i haven't gotten much money for graduation, i'm kinda broke. good thing i got a job. |
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| 07:45pm 03/06/2002 |
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mood:  melancholy music: josh rouse - miracle
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i was greeted with unexpected homework today, for classes i had thought were all good and done. i think i did bad in geology, i know i did bad. i just want to graduate and get this all done with.
i had been really excited for california, i am excited, but...
bois can cause problems no one would expect. i don't know what's wrong with me, i think i expect too much. i do these things to myself most likely.
everyone seems to have so many summer plans, i hope it's a good summer. i plan to spend an extensive amount of time at shari's and outdoors. lovely weather lately.
my music collection is growing, and my tape deck hates me. i'll have to find a competent boi at my new job to help me out with my tape deck struggles, perhaps.
the seniors got books at church on sunday; messy spirituality. i read a lot of it today, but i'm undecided as to whether or not i agree with all of it, or most of it. not that if i disagree with some of it that i'd disagree completely. it definitely sheds some light on some dark areas of the church. i hope my church is the accepting kind.
more graduation checks today, spending money for california.
mom told me i'd have to pay for gas this summer. i told her i'd rather pay for food. i love my gas card, me and jolly love driving.
so much to do. |
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| hard labor and lesbian neighbors |
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| 07:41pm 03/06/2002 |
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mood:  surprised music: josh rouse - feeling no pain
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so.........eventful day.
i turned in applicatins today. The final one was for mclendons, where i had a spur of the moment interview, and was promptly hired.
yay me.
and then much to my surprise i learned some distressing news. not only is my neighbor a lesbian, but also the women who previously owned the house were lesbians. it's odd.
things parents wont tell you, but grandmas will.
i found some neat music yesterday.
by the by, the prom is a 21+ show wednesday, so forget i said anything apy.
hmmmmmm, life. |
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| five more school days until graduation....... |
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| 06:50am 03/06/2002 |
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mood:  anxious music: weezer (in my head)
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send me money. |
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| 03:14pm 20/05/2002 |
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Answer these using the lyrics of just ONE band/artist:
Band/Artist: dashboard confessional
1. Are you male or female?: she always wears blue
2. Describe yourself?: such a charming beautiful exterior. laced with brilliant smiles and shining eyes and perfect posture, but you're barely scraping by.
3. How do they feel about you?: you're searching just like everyone, you could be anyone.
4. How do you feel about yourself?: i'm not sure of anyone, anyone. but i've got plans. i'm not asking for everything, but sure i could use a hand. get a little nervous sometimes, you'll be gone and i'll be left behind. get a little nervous sometimes, it'll be my cue and i'll forget my lines.
5. Describe your girlfriend/boyfriend?: please send me anything but signals that are mixed, cause I can't read your rolling eyes. out of touch, are we out of time?
6. What would you rather be doing?: if it was up to me i'd be gone by the first light. the first sight of hope, i'd be packed up and out on my way.
7. Describe where you live?: this basement's a coffin, i'm buried alive. i'll die in here just to be safe.
8. Describe how you love?: i would be there everytime you need me, i'd be there everytime. but for now i'll look so longingly, wait for you to want me, for you to need me.
9. Share a few words of wisdom?: the new coats of paint will not reacquaint broken hearts to broken homes. |
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| 11:55am 18/05/2002 |
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mood: anxious music: rival schools - used for glue
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10 artists/bands you couldn't live without:
*rosie thomas
*the good life
*azure ray
*death cab for cutie
*saves the day
*the get-up kids
*the juliana theory
*weezer
*cursive
*jimmy eat world
9 albums that are important to you:
*rosie thomas - when we were small
*azure ray - self-titled
*the get-up kids - something to write home about
*weezer - blue album
*dashboard confessional - the places you have come to fear the most
*the draft riots - self titled
*pedro the lion - whole
*the good life - black out
*jimmy eat world - clarity
8 movies you'd watch over and over:
*sabrina
*what's up doc
*empire records
*pretty in pink (apy and kar, we need a molly ringwald fest)
*the matrix
*you've got mail
*notting hill
*breakfast at tiffany's
7 things that annoy you:
*not knowing anything
*missing concerts
*hypocrites
*margaret's old room's new makeover
*conformity
*isaac
*homework
6 of your favorite songs at this moment:
*rosie thomas - wedding day
*get up kids - mass pike
*dashboard confessional - remember to breathe
*the good life - some bulls*** escape
*the draft riots - grace
*pedro the lion - promise
5 shows you watch regularly(sparatically):
*gilmore girls
*friends
*simpsons
*frasier (sometimes)
*trading spaces =)
4 All Time Favorite Books:
*anne lamott (what's the name apy?)
*the bible
*John Knowles - a separate peace
*C.S. Lewis - the magicians nephew
3 albums you bought recently: (or obtained)
*get up kids - EP's red letter day and woodson
*azure ray - burn and shiver
*pinehurst kids - viewmaster
2 people that have influenced your life the most:
*margaret
*aprille
1 thing you could spend the rest of your life with:
*a nice boi |
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Read 4 - Post |
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| eeeeesh.... |
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| 11:44am 18/05/2002 |
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mood:  crazy music: park avenue
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i'm going crazy over this.
who is 3t?!?!?!?!? |
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| i don't know anything.....anything |
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| 09:43pm 12/05/2002 |
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mood:  indescribable music: reggie and the full effect
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eesh...funny how something that wasn't supposed to matter went wrong and through me into a weepy mess friday. i'm over that now, i think. i need to figure out why i do the wrong things when i know how completely wrong they are.
on a lighter note...
saturday was quite good.
we were in my car about to go to the concert...
"make sure you don't go forward"
...kristin is in drive.
bryan shifted me into reverse while i sat embarrassed and laughing at myself. this was only the beginning.
we got to graceland at three...whoa. lots of people like finch and the starting line. we got in =)
lots..LOTS of people didn't. i bought myself a variety pack of cereal. i should have eaten better before going to a concert, i know better. we spent half the time in the bathroom because i felt like i was gonna pass out. good concert for a buck though.
my stomach hurts so much, i don't know why.
after the concert we went to shari's, which, for me, was the most fun of all. bryan scared me so bad...he popped a creamer with his fork and made it look like it was his eye. it was funny and gross all at once. i drove though, which was really neat. my first seattle concert that i drove to.
(right lane must exit)
me and kari stayed at apy's. it was nice. strange...apy is funny ;)
cute woman.
i'm cute too.
i don't think i even need to mention how cute my kari is.
I gotta go do my math...
'nite. |
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Read 7 - Post |
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| eesh. |
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| 09:41am 29/04/2002 |
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mood:  hungry music: ozma
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Sometimes when I really think things are just fine and I'm beginning to get smart, I realize it's just a lie.
Anyway, I really haven't written many entries for a while, but I wish I had been, so I'm going to start writing again, even if I am the only one who reads them.
The other day my bank accidently gave me an extra twenty dollars. I spent it and still need to go pay them back. I realized the only place to get money is my bank so now that I don't have the cash I have to get some cash. So basically, I have to walk in my bank, withdraw twenty dollars, and hand it back to them and explain why I'm giving them twenty dollars. Oh well.
Seven page paper due tomorrow, I started it yesterday. I have about three pages. I have cited more in this paper than any other I have ever written. I know you're supposed to maky a bibliography first and research and then write the paper, but my way of doing things is a little different. I just do it all as I go along.
I don't feel real well this morning so I stayed home from school. I don't know why it's always mondays when this happens, mondays are my moms day off. I have to clean she says. At least I have extra time to do my paper.
Yesterday after church Kari and I went to shari's to meet Michael for lunch. I made him a rad birthday card out of a jewel case. I love shari's, our waitress knew what we wanted to order. It's neat, I'm a regular. After shari's we went to the library and then to take Michael home. Michael is seventeen, but Michael does not have a key to his house. We couldn't get a hold of his dad so Kari and I waited there in front of Michael's house with him. We started reading a separate peace (by the way guys, separate is the correct spelling, imagine that!). Last night I kept reading and got half way through the book already.
Livejournal wont let me stay logged in. |
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| i cheated. |
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| 05:44pm 15/03/2002 |
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mood: hungry music: get up kids - the breathing method
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I took the McDonalds test, and guess what I got?
You can take the
McDonalds Product Test by Matio64
here! |
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| 06:18pm 03/03/2002 |
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Entire months go by when I forget to look at the stars. Beautiful shining lights of magic. Their soft glow is a comfort and a miracle to those who are so lucky to see them.
Last night two of those brightest stars fell-except they didn't. We've made the mistake of believing stars can fall, when in truth they actually venture on to heaven.
Alina and Jason mean so much to so many people. I don't think their lives could ever be forgotten. I know it's impossible to understand why God let this happen. I certainly can't understand it. All I can do is remember the beautiful people and wonderful lives of two amazing stars, and hold on to my faith that God will work things out.
Please help us God... |
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| 10:18pm 29/12/2001 |
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mood:  restless music: apy playing piano
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101 things about me thing.
1. i'ma girlie
2. i like bois
3. i bought three movies today
4. i wore a skirt today
5. i like kisses
7. people think i'm cute
8. i'm in love with shane Battier
9. i wanna work at shari's
10. i spell good
11. i had a vente today
12. i'm funny
13. romance makes me feel awkward
14. i like people as long as they're in their houses
15. my hair is not naturally this colour
16. i'm not british
17. i've been to newark
18. i miss gary
19. i know my bank account #
20. sometimes i forget my #
21. i ran a red light today
22. sometimes i drink from the carton
23. i'm too quiet
24. i'm too loud
25. i'm funnier than everybody
26. i slept for 17 hours last night
27. i once watched the same movie five times in one day
28. i stole a chocolate egg before easter from my mommy's closet
29. i have bad eye sight
30. i hate school
31. i am a senior
32. i took latin for five years
33. i love friends
34. i love weezer
35. i am owl
36. i cry too much
37. i like to write
38. i like to read
39. i love coffee
40. i love bois
41. i love being 17
42. i laugh when i get carded for soda
43. i get carded for soda a lot
44. i got carded buying the breakfast club
45. i laughed
46. i like to be me
47. i hate dress code
48. i'm not as good as i seem
49. my sisters boifriends suck
50. i'm at apy's
51. i like fuze(?)ball
52. i'm afraid of not being able to read things because I don't have me glasses
53. apy is eating ice cweam
54. i miss eddy
55. eddy was me dog
56. i hate school a lot
57. i'm slighty claustrophobic
58. i don't like when bois cry or act like girls
59. i'm cute when i'm mad
60. i don't believe i will ever die
61. i don't care about grades if they suffice for me parents
62. i don't finish things
63. i have two kitties
64. i need more shoes
65. i like guk
66. i like plays
67. what is a muse?
68. i'ma do a cover of deathcab's employment pages
69. i got a tv
70. i'm clumsy
71. are you hot?
72. i'm alice
73. i'm not pooh
74. nail polish is good until the last bit chips off
75. my ears stick out a bit
76. i like people
77. i wanna play piano
78. i like chinese
79. are you chinese
80. kawi is me bestest buddy
81. apy is me favorite
82. gary kicks some ***
83. i get nervous wif people
84. america is big
85. when i was little, me sises n' me played indians, we got naked
86. i been to paris
87. i cried in paris
88. i'm not sposed to date
89. i have
90. i never broke any bones
91. i amuse me
92. i miss margaret
93. i wanna trade her for mary
94. my granparents live nextdoor
95. i love pedro the lion
96. i like almost famous
97. i want people to love me
98. i want to be special
99. i want more friends
100. i wish i wasn't so scared
101. i wish you cared |
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| 12:56am 28/12/2001 |
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december's chill comes late, the days get darker and we wait for this direness to pass.
there are piles on the floor of artifacts from dresser drawers, and i'll help you pack.
-deathcab |
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| scooby and such... |
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| 12:24am 28/12/2001 |
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mood:  content music: guk
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Seems like Gary just got here. I guess we knew it would happen like this-it's still hard. Apy is prolly more sad than anyone, but I will miss him too.
Aprilly is asleepy and kawi and me are up and plan to keep ourselves awake all night, I'm sorta excited to stay up =)
I'm not real tired and we only have like 5 or 6 hours.
I don't know what to write, I suppose I don't have many regular-readers so there isn't much to live up to.
Life is always changing, but something hard is always the same. It just never gets easier. I'm working on dealing with it though. That's what I've been praying for. Lately I try to pray and everything. It's hard because I feel like all this stuff is in my way that I need to deal with fixing before I can pray for other people. That's been like that a while, and I'm hoping more will change. Hope is not enough, but God is not idle, I think my prayers shall show some progress.
Christmas was hard and good and different. I guess it was mostly different.
I'm only seventeen, but I've already spent so many christmas's in the same way. And they were good. I guess the last two or three were different. Things spin around you so fast sometimes that you don't know what they're going to do to your life. Growing up is such an experience. I believe it would be quite eventful, even for the dullest soul.
The night before christmas eve I stayed at Kari's. It was strange how good it felt driving home on christmas eve. I was just excited to be out by myself having fun. This break has been beautiful in some ways, it's just two weeks, but I love being out of school and doing whatever I want. It's those little first steps in new freedom that are great. I'm sure driving will never be as good as it is now, but I know this is just a little experience. It's sort of silly.
Click here to take
the quiz!
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| 02:15pm 26/12/2001 |
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mood:  confused
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I've begun to discover some of the most annoying aspects of change. It comes easily enough if you let it alone, but once you try to direct it, it struggles with you.
The first thing you must do once you discover you wish to change in some way, is to take a first step in the direction in which you wish to change. Now, this seems a small thing, but I must say, it is much scarier than one, who has not attempted it, might think. A first step is not a little step one can step back upon. It is a step which once taken, admits desire to change.
This for me is quite a frightening prospect. Because with all the good intentions, and best desires I have-I do not wish to take my tiny step, draw attention to myself, and then fall flat on my face because of my inexperience.
I have forgotten to mention something; change is scary because you cannot see what it will effect. And once it is started, it is much harder to turn around and 'change' one's mind to the original pattern of un-change.
If an entire change of lifestyle or direction or whatever aspect of oneself that one wishes to alter were able to be changed in a single step or swift movement, one might do so more easily.
This is not the case. Change can only be as effective as it is difficult and slow to accomplish. Again, that first step is a commitment. It may take a thousand more steps to fully change what that one step began. |
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pleased
stressed
drained
