I drive myself nuts. I am nuts.

I sent out eighteen Christmas cards on Monday. Already, people have gotten them and are thanking me. It feels awesome. My nana called me today to thank me for the card; I know it meant a lot to her. How much real mail to the elderly get? I knew she would be thrilled.

My friend Lindsey thanked me online, and that made me feel good as well.

Eric just sent me this IM, when I was away:

youthxmurder (11:26:07 PM): katie, thank you so much for the card i just got it 5 minutes ago, it means alot to me knowing we can still be friends, i cant stop smiling

(He was my first "real" boyfriend, the drama of which is chronicled in here, if you go back a few years.)

I like doing things that make other people feel good...it makes me feel good. I have a smile on my face now, and warm fuzzies inside.

Auto response from WhatICanSee (10:42:50 PM): Stonehill to see my other half.






excuse me while I melt. ♥

Some company should make [vegan] whole wheat (or better yet, whole wheat and soy protein for my big muscles ;D ) oyster crackers and animal crackers, because I'd be all over them. grumble grumble.
The only thing close is Barbara's Wheatines, but they are big crackers, and I like to eat with my hands like a toddler. That is my thought of the hour.

Check out this great site that is giving away totally free iPods! I've joined and I think you should as well. It's a completely legitimate offer, and this company has already given away $4 million in free stuff!

All you have to do is join, complete an online offer, and refer friends to do the same. That's it!

Here is my referral link. To help me get my iPod, click this exact link to join, or copy and paste it into a browser: http://www.freeiPods.com/?r=12279692


Come on, kiddos, it takes two seconds, and it can't hurt to try...apparently it really works.

wow, my LJ rules because I am a nerd...modifying my style = makes me happy...

today...kinda of sucked. not productive, bad eating, boring.

wa wa wa. woe is me.

better luck tomorrow.

argh.


I just tried to stretch to 0s for the seconds time (from 2s). I got one ear done, which proceeded to bleed. Super awesome! I have had these stupid 2s in for months now, and they should be ready to stretch more. For goodness' sakes!


Ryan slept over last night, and I told him sniffled to him my concerns, and everything is ok now. I just need to put the past behind me. I am afraid of being told what I want to hear, of people not being sincere. It's happened with other relationships that I started to feel distant and brought it up, only to be told I had nothing to worry about or that he would work on it...And I'd bring it up again, and again, and again, letting each one know that the little things were important to me, that I felt a little brushed aside. Finally, it would come to a head, and in one instance I was told that the resulting split had been a long time coming, except for the fact that the other party had felt obligated to stay with me. Well, no one was fooling anyone, and I wasn't happy with that relationship at the time, either. I don't want anyone to do me any favors by staying with me or telling me things that he doesn't feel just to appease me, because he thinks it is what I want. I want something real. I can't be happy with a life that is an act created for me. So, because I have been let down by several people in the past, I feel hesitant to be happy with a relationship. Maybe I refuse to believe that everything is ok, maybe I create imaginary problems in my mind. I don't know what to say sometimes, because as much reassurance as I get, sometimes I wonder if I can accept the fact that someone loves me. I wonder if I can learn not to take things so personally. A sideways glance can bring me to tears and make me think the world is ending...But I think I'm working on it.


On with today.




If the walls in the room could talk, I wonder to myself would they lie? It's like some kind of jail. Fall from the curtains onto the bed. I'm all alone now, I can do as I please. I don't feel like doing much of anything. True love ain't that hard to find, Not that you will ever know. Would you lay here for awhile? Please, do not let me go. Please, do not let me go.
You were sweet enough to sing, Oblivious to melody. Red suitcase full of clothes Washed up on the shore of memory. I'm all alone now and I feel just find. I don't feel much like doing anything. True love ain't that hard to find, Not that either one of us will ever know. Would you lay here for awhile? Please, do not let me go. Please, do not let me go.

Something smells kind of bad in my room. Like rotten things.

Started reading Vegan: The New Ethics of Eating by Erik Marcus today while pedaling away on the elliptical. I just want to make everyone I know read this book now! I read about 55 pages of it during my 60 minutes of cardio, and I'm already hooked. The first chapter deals with the rammifications health-wise of adopting a diet free of animal products. One man who had suffered through two heart attacks and took about eleven pills a day was able to stop taking his medicines and be active and healthy again after changing his eating habits as such. Also, being vegan prevents and reverses heart disease and prevents numerous types of cancer, including breast, prostate, and colon cancer. I was familiar with these facts, but this book presents hard-core studies and facts, plus case studies involving real people. It's so amazing...I was also thinking that if someone I knew were to die of heart disease (or something comparable and easily preventable by adopting a vegan diet), I would feel completely and horribly guilty for not having educated him/her on non-surgical ways of improving his/her health.
"With great power comes great responsibility." ;)

P.S.: I am so super at eating this week! And I made myself go work out despite my sluggishness today...and I was right, I did feel accomplished after I did so. Giving myself a pat on the back for this week.

Supposedly hanging out with Ryan tonight and then Nole tomorrow. I miss Nole, and a lot of other guys with whom I used to chill...(girls not so much, heh).


Things are looking up, Katie. Things are looking up.

I rule because I used this school's money do print out a 215-page book in the language lab today. Thankyou Stonehill College for paying for my copy of Vegan: The New Ethics of Eating.

Also: In a good mood today.
Busy day, but no appt. tomorrow, and get to see Ryan tonight. :D

happy happy

You are 80% Cancer

I lost the ball to my lipring. gfjdkalgjraeiorjaoina!!!!!!!! This is horribly annoying.

I kill me.

XneverXenoughX28 (7:05:18 PM): love you
WOG255 (7:05:26 PM): love you more
XneverXenoughX28 (7:05:43 PM): awww
WOG255 (7:06:08 PM): :-P
WOG255 (7:06:11 PM): wuv you
XneverXenoughX28 (7:06:37 PM): love you chrissypoo
WOG255 (7:06:48 PM): poodoo says bye*lick* love you too
XneverXenoughX28 (7:06:58 PM): give her hugs from me
WOG255 (7:07:17 PM): shes preoccupied with her bone
WOG255 (7:07:20 PM): but i will


(this from my 12-year-old cute little brother. he hasn't crossed over to the annoyign phase yet.)

today was really hard.
too much salt on my face.

some very well-stated and good advice:

"The main purpose in lifting weights while losing weight is to send a signal to your body that your muscle tissue is important. If your body thinks your muscle tissue is important, it will keep it around, but based on thousands of years of evolution, your body thinks that fat is more important than muscle, and will try to ditch the muscle first. That's bad because it depresses your metabolism and makes it easier to gain fat and harder to lose it. So lifting weights to send that signal is very, very important. Don't do lots of reps with a tiny weight. Lift hard and lift heavy."

I like that.

Had a doctor's appt. today...went to Whole Foods and T-Joe's...home to see my puppies. And now I'm debating on whether to work out. I should, since I onyl did cardio yesterday. I need to do back and bis. Ughhh...

How ironic. ;)

And, I put up a new picture on myspace that everyone seems to like. Haha. Because I'm pretending I'm sexy in it. Riiiight.

.STOP.

You're Katie. Used and abused. You have no idea
that your boyfriend, Andy, is totally and
completely using you. You aren't fair to Coop.
Bitch...


What Wet Hot American Summer Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

haha. I'm Katie. And I AM Katie! ok, so maybe I tried to get her.

After all, my boyfriend does love to say,

"Get off me Katie, you're smothering me!"

really. because of this movie. :)

P.S. Happy six months to us. We went to Grasshopper and Espresso Royale last night. It was fun. He was so cute - "dressed up" in a polo for the occasion, wearing cologne, and being even more gentlemanly than usual.
Still as into him as I was the night we met. We took pictures Friday night; I hope I can get them so I can put them up here. And on Mysp, 'cause I'm a dork.
I love you Ryan.
(even though you do not read this.)

things that are annoying:

1. people who can't master the English language...as their first language.

2. vegetarians who wonder "why it is ok to eat one group of cells over another"

3. stupid questions about and shallow understandings of EDs

4. being expected to take five-point quizzes on 300-page books

5. people who expect me to rearrange my schedule around theirs


for goodness' sakes.

effffffffff midterms. also, the loud bitches in the triple across from me. arg.


i love my ryan.

today the pennant,

tomorrow the series.

love those boys.







hate myself.