Everything that happened this morning feel like it happened days ago. Things from yesterday seem at least a week old. I have no real concept of time anymore. I used to TRY to get like that. Not be a slave to the clock/calender or something. Turns out. . .I don't like it. I like today being today.

Is it sad that the best part of my week, the only thing that I look forward too, is sunday mornings. Because I know that I will be able to sleep late? Because I fucking love it. All week, I just wait and wait for it. I love that feeling when you wake up naturally at the time you normally get up, and remember it's your day off, and you can just go back to sleep. . .That is some good stuff.

If I ever see a pie cooling on a window sill, I will steal that shit so fast. But I have never seen a pie cooling on a window sill. Fuck.

[	mood	|	bored	]
[	music	|	The Doors - Hyacinth House (Demo)	]

I'm fucking terrified of starting this new job next week. I hate the first month at a job. I hate being the new guy. I hope I made a good decision in switching jobs. I've had bad luck with jobs, except for one, for the past 4 years. It's so typical that the one job I've ever had that I really enjoyed, was the one I had for the shortest period of time.

On the bright side, it can't really be much worse than the job that I have now. I'll have to get up a lot earlier, and work longer, but the work isn't as hard. At least not in the same way. I'm sure I'll be twice as tired when I get home from work, but my muscles won't be screaming at me when I get into bed. At least, not as loudly.

I was really, really hoping to save up enough this summer to move off the island, but it looks like I am going to be forced to buy a car. And soon. I'll have to borrow the cash from my folks, but I think they will make me pay it back rather quickly. I should have found a job closer to home. I'd much rather not have a car. But it is much to far to ride a bike to every day, especially to get there that early. And, like every job that I've ever had, it starts too early for me to take the bus. Someday. . .I will live somewhere with real public transportation. And I will probably curse it as much as I curse my car. Hahahahha, I am un-pleasable!

Well, I put in my 2 weeks notice at work. My boss was. . .less than happy. She feels it is a grave injustice. Apparently she thinks that keeping me for 3 days a week through the winter is some kind of favor. Shit, I could be collecting unemployment, and getting drunk all day if I didn't have to work those days to keep that crap job. I was never given a raise, and never got the health insurance I was supposed to get (which, by the way, is illegal). And she thinks I am treated well. I'm the fucking office peon. Fuck. If I didn't need money for smokes and booze between now and when I start the new job I would have told her off. Unfortunately I am both weak, and addicted.

I guess I didn't go into much detail of my little vacation to Worcester, MA. It was good times. Except for 2 people I got to see everyone that I wanted to see. The two I didn't get to see though was up towards the top of my list of people to see. Unfortunately, one graduated early, and was in boston. He said he might be able to come down, but no such luck. He's a good guy, I really would have liked to see him. The other was my freshman year roommate. Besides wanting to see him, I felt sort of obligated to do so. I guess I suck. I didn't call him until later in the trip, and he had gone to visit his girlfriend out of state. Screw him for having a life/female. But all in all, a good time was had. Loads of drinking, all catching up and all. Of course if my friend carrie up there doesn't start to understand, as I have told her before, that we aren't screwing around anymore, I may have to kill her. Especialling since she always tries when I am hammered, and therefore gets pretty far before I have the presence of mind to stop. God damn. I need some of that will power stuff. I hear it is nice.

But it was good to be able to see everyone before they went there seperate ways after this spring. I have no idea when I'll get to see any of them again, especiall those living over there past the mississippi. Eventually. I fully plan to randomly run into them somewhere, someday. Because that is how it would be if it were a book. Which it might as well be.

p.s. sorry for not proofreading or spell checking, but. . .I don't fucking feel like it. bitches.

[

mood

|

tired

]

I had a long ass rant here, but it was whiny, and I try not to whine (not particularly hard though). My car is broken again. About 45 minutes from my house. If I am lucky, my mechanic will pick it up before the owner of the gas station it is had has it forcibly towed. The gas station man is a cock. Did people NOT used to be nice? Now I know why old people are always complaing about service. How much trouble is it for this guy to let me take up one of his parking spaces for the day. I talked to him. I asked him nicely. And he was a dick. "No, you get it out of here before 9 in the morning, or I am towing it."
"But, I am not going to be able to get someone to do it that early." "It is gone before 9 or I am towing it." "Can I leave my keys with you so the mechanic can pic them up from you?" "No, I don't want any keys." "Would you like my cock in your ass?" (In my head) "why yes, please, violate my anus". Yargh. Back in my day, the dude would have given me a ride home, and bummed me a smoke. Oh. This IS my day. I think I feel a certain orifice of mine being violated. I wish I had a beer to cry in. I blame my gods. Namely the God of Car Health and Driving With the Low Gas Light On (bless his holy name), (Father to the God of Parking Spaces, and the Goddess of Good Deals on Used Automobiles). Wha?Huh?

I suppose by now it is all but cliche to criticize Walmart. This is something I haven't read about before though. Normally you hear about how they pay shit wages, and force out local so called mom & pop retailers, and such. But apparently they can also wreak havok on their suppliers, and play a possibly interesting role in the national economy. To be fair they seem to have a good influence on certain aspects of the way their suppliers run their businesses (increased effiency, and reliability) but then come the costs. I find it hard to make a decision on Walmart. It is my nature to denounce them as an evil corporation hellbent on destroying the competition. But people do like a gallon of pickles for $2.97. No wait, I lied. Fuck walmart. Oh right, the link. Everyday low prices. . .