Just say no
I loved the comments you all made when I told you that I was asked to teach as an adjunct. My response, utterly tainted with incredulity, was "no." I don't think I even said "no thank you."

I'll point out that "they" asked repeatedly -- by nearly every method except carrier pigeon. Actually, you never know. I'll have to keep an eye out the next time a pigeon comes near.

You have to know that my former job situation was, of course, rotten to the core, despite the existence of many colleagues whom I respected and enjoyed very much. Of course, now that I'm gone, I'm anathema, except to administrators who need good contingent faculty. Trust me. I wouldn't be "good" in a contingent position.

It's tempting to accept contingent work. You know, a regular paycheck is pretty appealing, especially when you don't have a regular check coming in. I could teach a course here or a course there. Then again, I also could just poke myself in the eye. That would be about as beneficial to my overall well-being.

Academia's not the only game in town.
- posted by the original academygirl @ 5/18/2004 

 
Now They Want to Exploit Me Too
What do you say to colleagues who ask you to return to academia as a part-time adjunct, knowing that you previously were full-time and that you are concerned about exploitation of part-timers?

I have no words.

Academia's not the only game in town.
- posted by the original academygirl @ 5/17/2004 

 
Motivation
Wow. I didn't blog all week. I'd like to say it's because I was working so hard. I was working, but probably not as hard as I should have been.

This week, I was having problems getting motivated. I think I'm a little (a lot?) burned out. Complications still exist from my previous academic job -- I wish everything was completely finalized, but it's not. The truth is that every time I have to think about dealing with anything academic or go back there for any reason, I get a little depressed.

So, I surfed around the web this week, read the news online (god, it was awful, wasn't it?), and dabbled with work. Mostly, I felt guilty that I wasn't working as hard as I should be. I think I'm also learning about pacing myself. Maybe that will come better with time and experience.

Academia's not the only game in town.
- posted by the original academygirl @ 5/14/2004 

 
I was only away for a day
Checked back into blogger tonight and found a completely new format for posting. Looks pretty streamlined and easy to use. Much better than the old format. Some changes in life are good!

After last week's blogathon, I really had to put my nose to the grindstone this weekend -- right through today as well. When you work for yourself, an hour lost is a dollar lost. How different than working in the academy, where an hour lost is easily forgotten. So, I spent most of the weekend and today writing, writing, writing. Now I'm pretty tired but have a better grip on that to-do list I posted last week.

By the way, I've been getting requests to read Different Worlds. FYI, I've posted a link in the upper right corner of this blog to the entire story (in proper sequence) if you're interested in reading it.

Academia's not the only game in town.
- posted by the original academygirl @ 5/10/2004 

 
No BS Here
I taught my last class today. We came in, I gave them some preliminary guidance on the final exam, collected papers, and we left early, for a change. Of course, that meant I received a furious flurry of emails from those who'd not bothered to come to class until the second half of the two-hour session.

I expected some vague sense of melancholy to set in as I left campus for what is probably the pentultimate time. I thought I'd feel some sort of regret that I'd decided to give up something I cared deeply about, was good at, and was rewarded by. I half expected to wander around the building a bit, find excuses to strike up conversations with students, present and past, or with faculty. Aside from one brief chat with a full-timer I know primarily from another context, that didn't happen. None of it did. I got into my car and drove home.
- See Mr. BS for the rest of the post.

I was very moved by this post over at Mr. BS. In his quiet way, he captured a number of complex, conflicting emotions and experiences relating to teaching that last class and finishing up work on campus -- not regretful, but feeling some chagrin, anger, anticipation. Perhaps this was the most powerful comment of all:

Breaking away--beginning to, anyway, feels right. I'm not self-deluding enough to rationalize this as having been the wrong line of work for me all along. It was the right thing, but when the warp and weft of your sense of self gets to be toxic and self-defeating, it's time to go.

I could relate to what he said about leaving. I'll confess to having taken a sentimental drive through campus now and again, going out of my way to do it, just because I'm missing the atmosphere and the rush of people. No regret, but loss nonetheless. Definitely feelings of loss.

Academia's not the only game in town.
- posted by the original academygirl @ 5/8/2004 

 
The Selective Memory of the Academy
What she said.

P.S. You're more than welcome to your crown : ) At this point, I'm happy being the queen of nothing.

I know my blog and those of others have helped some people thinking of going in, thinking of going out, and thinking of staying. Those who stay at least have had the sleep washed from their eyes. At the same time, I also know that I have made an impact on students in person -- not through my blog -- by advising them regarding the pros and cons of graduate school. I typically advise going to graduate programs that have a definitive job at the end of them, rather than just hope for a professorial job. Some have gone on to grad school but to programs that have practical application of some kind (e.g., law, economics, business, education, health sciences, social work (not sociology), IT/programming).

Academia's not the only game in town.
- posted by the original academygirl @ 5/6/2004 

 
Ross's Dilemma
On the show finale for Friends, Ross was upset about Rachel leaving because he knew he couldn't go with her. I mean, the subject didn't even come up. Do you know why? Because he was a tenured professor in paleontology. The possibility of him moving was, essentially, zero because of the way university hiring is done and also because he'd have to compete against many schools' addiction to hiring contingent faculty instead of amalgamating courses and making more full-time, permanent positions available.

Tenured professors can, of course, move. The problem is that they can't always move with tenure. Sometimes they can, but they have to move to a place where a position already is open or will be opened for them. Positions aren't usually "opened" for people unless they're very "important" or unless they know someone on the inside loop at a school. This wasn't the case for Ross.

If you move without tenure, you have to start all over again, and it takes years to get back to where you were -- unless you're then denied tenure, in which case you're out. If you move with tenure, you're very fortunate to have found a position.

In contrast to Ross's dilemma, an interesting tv coincidence happened tonight. Later in the evening, Without a Trace featured the same kind of couple's dilemma -- Anthony Lapaglia's character faced a job-move decision because his wife was offered a wonderful position in Chicago. He didn't beg his wife to stay. Instead, he put in for a transfer. He would have to take a non-supervisory position, but he was told a supervisory position likely would be available within two years. That's faster than tenure usually takes -- or finding a tenured position open at the precise school in the precise city you want to live in, which could take, um, never in some cases.

What I find supremely funny about the myth of tenure is that it's really only a "permanent job" like any other permanent job, except that there's a very long probationary period, and people can vote you out like on Survivor before they let you into the guild (winners don't get a million dollars, at least not until the heavy grant monies, prizes, or profits start pouring in). People with tenure can be fired for cause just like at any other job. It's just that, at most jobs, people don't have a gaggle of colleagues surrounding them, agreeing to look the other way or say nothing if things are going badly. Plus, once you're tenured, nearly nobody measures your productivity and then holds you to accountability if it's too low. "Publish or perish" really only applies to junior faculty, unless you're craving merit bonuses, and those can be applied very capriciously, depending on whether you've ticked off your Dean any time recently.

Maybe college athletic coaches should lobby for tenure. Better yet, maybe professors should be able to be fired as quickly as coaches can be, if they're not performing well or if too few of their students are able to find work within the academy. We should, after all, have some kind of performance measures that have some kind of consequences attached to them, don't you think?

So, of course Ross wasn't going to move. He just had it too good (or was truly stuck), and Rachel, well she could just get a job anywhere, now, couldn't she?

Academia's not the only game in town.
- posted by the original academygirl @ 5/6/2004 

 
Academic Culture Link
I very much like what Stephen Krause just wrote about academic culture (OMG, did I just say that???).

He's coming around.

Academia's not the only game in town.
- posted by the original academygirl @ 5/6/2004 

 
Speaking of Adjuncts. . .
I wonder what's more difficult, walking away from a permanent teaching job at a prestigious institution to take on another permanent teaching job at a different kind of prestigious institution or walking away from a non-permanent job, sorely lacking in prestige, and then trying to convince employers you have skills and qualifications (but little job experience) that would be an asset in the workplace. If course, none of this requires any courage, I suppose, just because, hey, if your nest isn't feathered, then walking away from the shred of what you have isn't so hard. I think that's the line of thinking. Yeah. If you've hardly got anything, then what's so hard about turning your back on so little, anyway? (now I am being facetious).

If you've ever lived in poverty or know anyone who has, you'll know just how hard it is to give up even the smallest amount of security and take a gigantic leap into something else, where you'll have to be able to speak for your own worth and value (despite years of people telling you you're worthless, or next to being so). One thing we should never lose sight of is that most adjuncts are living below the poverty line or hovering dangerously around it.

Then again, maybe the adjunct could try to get a permanent job in a prestigious non-university setting that involves teaching. Could happen. Or a non-prestigious setting, as long as it involves teaching. Yup, I guess it could happen. Or become a full-time research assistant somewhere, ignoring the obvious problems with low salary. I guess that could do.

Academia's not the only game in town.
- posted by the original academygirl @ 5/6/2004 

 
Long Day
I'm going to pack it in early tonight. Today's frenzy on my blog (link is to the last post in the frenzy, which links to the post before it and so on), which resulted in over 500 unique site hits and froze up my Haloscan for a time, was, for me, emotionally exhausting. I see Tim moved on hours ago, after posting something extended on his "I told you so" opinion about Iraq (I'm not being facetious; that's what he said in the post). The Iraq post pushed his "I'm not quitting" post waaaaay down on his page (below the fold), a kind of visual metaphor for getting over it.

I realized a couple of things after today. First, I thought I was emotionally out of the academy. I'm not. I know this because Tim's post really did hurt. He actually responded fairly well, I thought, in the comments he made on my blog, even apologizing at one point. Others came vigorously to his defense, as is their right; others, to mine. I'll tell you, the whole thing was just too much -- like standing on line for your turn at being stomped. Perhaps some might say, "if you can't take it, don't dish it out." I can, and did, take it. I could also have walked away with a shrug after reading Tim's initial post, but, for me, the post was too horrible and too perfectly representative of what I see as the irrational, hollow core of academic culture.

My second realization was that, unlike Tim, I now get paid based on my own working efficiency and effort. I'm no longer on salary, so every hour I don't devote to my new business is an hour from which I'm not going to see a monetary return. I presume Tim gets paid all day, even when he's blogging.

So, I didn't get very much of my own work done today, and now I feel a little guilty about that.

Tomorrow's to-do list:

- finish writing document A
- start writing document B (move to Friday)
- read up on info for document C
- finishsome chapter revisions
- return calls
- make some calls
- set up two meetings
- do mail
- file
- okay, maybe some blogging too

'Night.

Academia's not the only game in town.
- posted by the original academygirl @ 5/5/2004