Table Talk: Posts of the Week

Even More Mangled Language

David Lettvin - 09:40 am Pacific Time - May 24, 2004  - #1824 of 1952

We had a large a large octopus in one of the display tanks who disappeared one night. When we went searching, we found sucker marks drying on the boards and followed them. The octopus had dropped into the crab display where he reposed on a pile of empty crab shells radiating pleasure and satisfaction. His favorite game was to watch the door to see who came into his area. If a stranger entered, he would quietly ease himself up and slightly over the edge of the tank and wait for his opportunity. Then he would use his siphon to jet a stream of cold seawater 15 - 20 feet to douse the unwary intruder. Then he dropped back into his tank an display the strong colors and hornlike skin protruberances that were his equivalent of giggling.

White House

BushSpeak--7 Speeches in 6 Weeks: Discuss Here

Karl Northman - 06:09 pm Pacific Time - May 24, 2004  - #282 of 388

Bush has a plan. Whoopee. I have a plan, also. First, I'm going to get a job next month in local radio. Within the next two years, I'll move from here to Chicago, and then to New York, where I will be making 3.5 million dollars a year. I will befriend the ambassador to the UN from Costa Rica, and his grateful government will deed me 60 square miles of mixed terrain with two miles of sandy beaches, on which I will build my retirement home. With my charitable contributions to the Costa Rican National Trust, they will gratefully confer citizenship on me, and by 2009 I will retire as a shaken nation begs me to stay on and explain things to them. Yes, just like Bush, I've got a plan.

Television

American Idol

Keith Chaffee - 10:19 pm Pacific Time - May 25, 2004  - #1695 of 1741

My recap for the night: Diana opens with this year's Official American Idol Anthem, "I Believe." Diana sings it well, and it's full of the sort of big, loud, bombastic moments that she's so good at. My first reaction is that the song seems to be better suited to her voice and style than to Fantasia's, and I start to worry a bit. Fantasia begins with "All My Life." Fantasia wraps the audience around her little finger anyway, even with crappy material. Diana, Round 2, and it's a reprise of "No More Tears (Enough Is Enough)." Fantasia, Round 2, also trots out one of her finest moments from earlier weeks and gives us another "Summertime." Diana closes with another repeat, "Don't Cry Out Loud." Somewhere around the key change something weird happens, and an entire phrase goes completely south; the pitch is wildly off, and Diana seems to have lost her place. She recovers reasonably well, and finishes nicely, though the big note at the end is noticably shorter and weaker when she sang the song last week. Fantasia closes with her version of "I Believe." The opening verse is spellbinding; I literally have goose bumps. And she goes into the chorus, and suddenly what had seemed like a standard-issue Celine Dion belter's inspirational anthem is turned into a fabulous joyful gospel hymn. None of the arrangement has changed a note; the backup singers and orchestra are doing exactly what they did before. The difference is Fantasia; it's the difference between a good singer and a great one. She is so thoroughly connected to the song, and communicating it so completely to the audience, that for a few brief moments, it seems like a better song than it is. Simon puts it best when he tells Fantasia, "That was your acceptance speech."