Is about neither Montana nor Politics.

Talk amongst yourselves.

A rhetorical question, loosely defined, is one that doesn’t require an answer.

For example, as Stalin once famously inquired, “How many divisions has the Pope?”

He didn’t really need anyone to tell him that the Pope didn’t command any divisions. He just asked the question to make a point.

Or, to use a different character, Bugs Bunny very typically asks, “What’s up, doc?”

He isn’t actually asking what is up, since there are a plethora of answers to that question. Some of us might answer, “The price of gas.” Which would be technically correct, but the question Bugs is asking is meant as a greeting; not as an actual question. Then again, unless the person answering the question were an actual doctor, then the point would be moot.

Yet another example could be found when Gunny Sgt. Hartman famously asks, “What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?” It’s fairly clear that if Private Pyle were to actually answer the question, it would undoubtedly lead to more trouble.

Some questions can be interpreted either way.

Depending on who you are, and who I am, the following question may or may not be rhetorical:

“How’s she goin’?”

As the recipient of the question, your answer will depend mainly upon the depth of our acquaintance. If we are on a first-name basis and see each other daily, I might expect a detailed answer.

If, on the other hand, we see each other very rarely, and our social interactions are usually in the context of exchanging money for goods and/or services, that means that the question is rhetorical.

Thus, it follows that I don’t really want or need to know that you have been up for 28 hours and are hopped up on some sort of “natural” stimulants. Seriously. I don’t care.

Questions?

No?

Class dismissed.

First of all, I’d like to see who’s first up to get “Juiced.”

Not me, that’s for damn sure.

Look at what happened to the last folks who got “juiced.”

Maybe he’s going to be “juicing” the Real Killers™

Hmmm…..

Not only that, but when I think of him using the word, “juiced,” in that context, I actually had visions of him grinding someone’s skull on on orange juicer.

Juiced, indeed!

Someone arrived here looking for The Coming Crisis in Accountin”.

What? Are they doing away with greenbar paper? From now on you can only use 500 digits in GL account numbers, instead of the current 1000? Maybe books actually have to balance? Or perhaps only one set of books will need to be kept from now on, instead of the requisite 2 or 3, depending on which auditors are coming by?

Sorry, I just can’t put the words “accountin’” and “crisis” together, and come up with anything meaningful.

Oh man. Don’t you just hate it when reality has the unmitigated gall to interfere with your love of bearded dictators?

I’m especially interested to hear what, if anything, Val gets back from the author.

Don’t forget, the SMBB is less than a month away!

Kim is still seeking input, so if you don’t put in your $.02, time is growing short.

[UPDATE: 6/3/2004 17:00]:  Rob has more details.

OK, OK. I did a Quizilla. So sue me.

You are Powerslave Eddie, once an ancient king and
warrior esteemed as a god, now a slave to the
power of death. But one day, the gates of hell
will be opened and from the grave you will
strike, more blood lusting and powerful than
ever before. In other words, you rule.

The Iron Maiden Quiz: which Eddie are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I just had to post this for Jim.

We were talking about the snarling characteristics of metal, and the name of Dave Mustaine rose to the top of the list.

I would just like to say: “Whaddya mean I can’t be the President. Of the United States of America? It’s still We, the People, right?”

Peace Sells…but Who’s Buying?”

The snarl and roll on the word “right,” just sells the deal. And I think Jim’s with me on this one.

Well, I think I can safely say that I, personally, have leapt the Chondrichthyes.

The reason I say this is that tonight, I caught some old school metal on TV.

And it was on VH1.

Some of you may be saying, “So what?” but back in the day ("Wednesday"), the words “metal” and “VH1″ were that fabled twain that were so unlikely to meet. Only the lamest of the lame would ever be caught dead watching VH1.

For crying out loud, even Riki Rachtman has short hair now.

Plus, the theme sequence appears to be Run to the Hills sung by the Quiznos Spongemonkeys.

Stick a fork in me folks, my metal cred is done.

Before this judge gets appointed to the 9th Circuit.

Except when he’s for it, such as ketchup factories, or theme songs.

6. The Kerry campaign is hoping to do for “You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet” what the Clinton campaign did for “Don’t Stop” — take a mediocre song from the low years of rock ‘n’ roll and play it so often it rings in your head like tinnitus. Should a guy critical of outsourcing make his campaign theme a song by a group of Canadians, b-b-b-baby?

Maybe a better song by a slightly less lame Canadian band might be, “Working For The Weekend” by Loverboy. You know, creating jobs and stuff?

No?

The only good Canadian band that I can think of is Rush, and I really don’t think that JF’inK can find a theme song in their oeuvre.

(Big ol’ thanks to Randy for the link.)

I just saw a commercial for a feminine hygiene product. Now, in this day and age that’s not too out of the ordinary. I’ve come to ignore them.

What stopped me from completely tuning it out was the demonstration the female actress put on to demonstrate the super absorbency of the cutting-edge new product.

She used it to plug the hole in the leaky rowboat she and her (boyfriend, husband, complete stranger) happened to be in.

Gaaaahhh.

Here is an opinion piece that has some good common sense ideas about fighting wilderness fires before they get out of control.

A volunteer firefighter recounts some of the events surrounding the Winslow Fire last summer.

Initially the fire was only 5 to 10 trees and stayed at this stage for several hours. During this time, due to the amount of down and standing dead trees in the area, we were not allowed to go and fight the fire.

[…]

At noon, the winds picked up and this fire went from less than an acre to more than 100 acres in an hour. Within two weeks, more than 300 people were involved in fighting this fire. The contractors with their kitchens, showers, and other support services were all involved in fighting this fire on both sides of the Continental Divide in Montana and Idaho. The fire was eventually named the Winslow fire, and control costs totaled $6.5 million.

Computer System Ahead of Schedule

…but it turns out I’m not very hip. Or deck. Or something like that. I’m far below the 72% required to “pass.”

(From The Presurfer.)