The Politburo Diktat

I Know How You Feel, Nth

other day i was wearing relatively well-fitting shorts and one of the men at the gym does the "can i ask you a question, hope you don't get offended by it, but is that real?" (he's asking about my cock)

one-at 50, if i got offended still everytime someone asked that, i'd be a suicide by now. I would be blatantly miserable and bitter, instead of quietly so. two- 'course it is real. Who'd be stupid enough to have an extension this size? three- No.. really... you don't want it this size. Within six months you'd be screaming to be a freakin tweezer-dick again. You have any idea how many urinals I've inadvertently smashed?

More Poetry

Captain's Quarters

Captain Ed sits with his wife in the hospital while she recovers, and ... of course ... composes a poem honoring his favorite bloggers. It beats doing crosssword puzzles.

Update: The First Mate has her new kidney and it's functioning already! I spoke to the surgeon in charge about a half-hour ago, and he was very pleased. No complications, she was stable throughout surgery, and while she was still getting closed up, he thought the whole thing went very well.!

via apoplectic, non-apologetic Bill

Google Searches

Update: Number one on this? No site amongst Google's billions rates higher than The Commissar on that topic? That does it comrades, from now on, nothing but glorious revolutionary news and politics. (Da, search leads to Memory Hole version of blog.)

This post ranks second for this search. Nyet, Commissar does not recommend this particular torture for this comrade.

And this post ranks high for this search. Nyet, not recommended. In comparison to these searchers, Commissar is positively pacifist.

An Apology to Wonkette

A few readers noted that my "relentless skewering" of Wonkette and my conspiracy theories were excessive. They were. I apologize.

Wonkette's studied obscenity, the tone of her coverage of Washingtonienne, and her emergence as an A-List blogger all might prompt interesting discussion and debate. But repeatedly and publicly calling someone a liar, a nitwit, and a floozy doesn't contribute to that (or any other) debate. In the freewheeling atmosphere of the internet, it's easy to get carried away and toss out speculations and conspiracy theories, and forget that real individuals are thus tarred as liars.

My apologies to Wonkette, Ana Marie Cox, for the insult, and to my readers, for lowering the level of discourse.

The Bushiad and The Idyossey

The Bushiad and The Idyossey

December's rosy-fingered dawn gently
Brushes sleep from his dream-soaked eyes,
But Resolute George wakes up royally pissed,
Roiling with rage, his insides scorched
By a hot and furious furnace, welding
Purpose ever tighter to his heart.

What insult, humiliation or disgrace
Could cast his soul so completely in revenge?
His pain and family’s lust for vengeance
Are hidden under wraps of stately words, yet
Placed before a world transfixed by
Calls for guts and glory in the kingdom

There's more, a lot more. 48 chapters worth!

Is not bad, comrades, is not bad. One must admire its creativity, diligence, and familiarity with the Classics.

Clenched fist salute: Tom Burka

U.S. to Cut Korea Forces by One-Third

U.S. to Withdraw 7,000 S. Korea Troops

"South Koreans will be very worried if the United States withdraws so many troops at a time," Rep. Hong Jae-hyong, the chief policymaker of Roh's ruling Uri Party, told the Yonhap news agency. The conservative opposition Grand National Party, which has traditionally supported a U.S. military presence, described the troop cut plan as "shocking and surprising."

South Korea had been aware of Washington's plans to reposition or remove troops for some time. The main topic of discussion at the talks in Seoul on Monday was a separate plan to move U.S. troops away from the Demilitarized Zone between North and South Korea.

The plan unsettles some South Koreans, who suspect the United States will feel freer to carry out military action against the North if U.S. troops are not in immediate harm's way on the border.

Washington has said it has no plans to invade the North, but some in the South worry it could take a more limited action, like a strike on nuclear facilities.

Commissar has long understood the American forces along the DMZ to be "tripwire," against North Korean military actions. Looks as if they are also supposed to be "tripwire" against American military action.

So, situation is this: Americans have troops in South Korea, on which account many South Koreans hate Americans, and real function of troops is to prevent Americans from taking military action of their own. Chyort! Poor apparatchik like Commissar does not understand; must be "advanced military strategy."

Counter-Revolutionary Infiltrators

KBG Alert: Two notorious enemies of the people recently infiltrated and attempted to disrupt Party-approved demonstrations.

Just to understand the nefarious tactics of the saboteurs, comrades are instructed to read:

Bill at INDC interviews Michael Berg.

Michael Berg: "“Let me put it to you this way, I don’t think that Dr. King’s murder was solved, and I don’t think that my son’s murder was solved, if you know what I’m saying ..."

Erik at No Pasaran crashes anti-American march in Paris.

Vietnam or East Germany

Many comrades compare Iraq to Vietnam. "Quagmire, quagmire, quagmire." Reagan's passing recalls the end of the Cold War. (Is really only temporary people's setback, but let's not go there.) Events in Iraq remind Commissar of events in East Germany in 1990.

In November, 1989, the Berlin Wall came down. Immediately, Geman reunification was bolshoi topic. What nature would it take? How long would be required? (In early 1990, most pundits thought years.) What about the military arrangements? Since the East and West were members of rival Warsaw Pact and NATO, respectively, how would that work? Questions were legion. All sorts of complicated proposals, like "two-plus-four," emerged. But swiftly, but mid-1990, the plan was defined; East Germany would cease to exist and the Federal Republic would absorb its provinces. Germany would be a member of NATO; the Soviet Union reluctantly concurred. On October 3, 1990, Germany re-united. The whole process only took ten months.

Today in Iraq, the new government is taking shape. Militias are disbanding. al-Sadr seems to have ... dare I say? ... rocked the mosk. A new UN Resolution endorses the process. The U.S. and Iraq are defining military cooperation. The U.S. military is already taking a low profile.

Of course, the key issue is U.S. military presence, the occupation. A few weeks ago, Colin Powell said that the US would leave, if asked. The Iraqi PM Allawi took pains to say that US military would be required for some time. But there is a wholly different possibility. Consider the tipping point.

When will the new Iraqi government feel secure? When would it feel secure enough to handle its own security? To say, "Thank you. We have removed the training wheels. Now (politely) hit the road, Uncle Sam."

It merely has to feel strong enough to defeat any insurgency. Car bombs need not have stopped; indeed the US military cannot stop car bombs outside of the Green Zone. The Iraqi government has to have some sort of security force. If a few places like Fallujah have autonomous security, but don't threaten the Baghdad government, who cares. And the insurgents must be felt to have less support, dwindling recruitment.

All of those things could happen with great rapidity. And when they do, perhaps all involved will say, "Mission Accomplished - We mean it this time."

The Commissar even fears, has small knot in stomach, that such process could occur, or begin to occur, ... Chyort! ... before November. Khorosho "Oktober Surprise," cleverly carried out by Criminal Reactionary Bush?

Impossible? German re-unification within a year seemed equally impossible on November 1, 1989.

At the D-Day Anniversary

Queen Elizabeth: Where the Hell is Charles? I'm getting too old for this shit."

Jacques Chirac: Bien, it's coming right for Bush.

Mme. Chirac: Bush, not me, right?

Pres. Bush: Rumsfeld told me this could not happen.

Laura Bush: Are the cameras still on me?

Vladimir Putin: I wish we had one of those.

D-Day posts

Blackfive and Serenity have it all.

Ronald Reagan Passes - R.I.P. Gipper

Our enemies always thought Ronald Reagan was a little crazy. "Who knows what he might do?" they asked. I liked that.

Reagan, the cheerful crusader who devoted his presidency to winning the Cold War, scaling back government and calling for "morning again in America," died Saturday after a long twilight struggle with Alzheimer's disease. He was 93. Fox News. New York Times.

image from thoseshirts.com

NKVD Surveillance - Novi Blogger

A certain reactionary blogger, Way Off Bass, has been placed under people's surveillance. Da, this one is shrewd, comrades, flagrantly confessing his awareness of such observation.

I done been rolled, ma! Well, guess who just noticed that he's been blogrolled at Ace of Spades HQ and the Politburo Diktat?

With the boys at the HQ, I can only assume that it's out of fear of this rather nebulous character who's been stalking their comments sections with posts that were both neither funny enough nor serious enough to indicate a stable emotional state. ... Bring on the vorpal swords, bee-atches.

As for the Commissar - it was all about sex. Boobs, in fact, and how to grow them. More than that I will not say as I am under NKVD Surveillance.

No blogging until Monday morning as I am to visit a friend this weekend. She's cute, and smart, and funny, so I won't mind the oppresive desert heat.

Peace. Out. Kill whitey.

He earlier offered insight into CH'Allah's blogging status.

Loyal comrades are advised to add this subversive to their surveillance roles.

Exterminate Republicans

Foreman's Wake-Up Call by Michael Feingold

Republicans, whose goal in life is to profit from disaster and who don't give a hoot about human beings, either can't or won't. Which is why I personally think they should be exterminated before they cause any more harm.

Of course, comrades, of course. Read all of Comrade Feingold's correct call for "extermination" of reactionaries.

Da! Recalls speeech of Comrade Vyshinsky: "The entire nation trembles with indignation. And I, as representative of the state prosecution, unite my own outraged and indignant state prosecutor's voice to this cry of millions!

I demand that these mad dogs be shot -- each and every one of them!"

Clenched fist salute: Instapundit

Jessica's Well weighs in.

EIB - Excellence in Blagiarizing

Arch-reactionary Rush Limbaugh has expropriated the excellent graphic of the 1946 LIFE magazine about "Americans Losing the Victory in Europe," created by Jessica's Well in Oct. 2003. Without even a mention. Very nekulturniy. Perhaps I should say tone-deaf to normal courtesy.

Rush also snapped up Counter Revolutionary's scans, again without attribution.

Report to Comrade Kevin for your marching orders, including Limbaugh's email address, and sample letter, although I recommend changing the email's subject line. Variations in the subject line might make it look less like a campaign, and also might be less easily blocked or ignored.

Steven Taylor was an earlier victim of Rush's blagiarism. Update: not exactly; read Steven's post and his clarification.

Urgent Minitruth Correction

Inadvertently, the following graphic, showing new jobs trend, was released to Minitruth outlets.

248,000 new jobs in May, and upward revision of April and March to 346,000 and 353,000. Bah!.

Minitruth outlets instructed to use this image instead:

Economics Book

Imagine a society where the State awards all jobs, and you are applying for a manager's position at the Glorious October Revolution Ball Bearing Factory #37. Your competition for the job is the wastrel son of a junior undersecretary at the Ministry for Ball Bearing Production. Will the factory manager choose you, the more qualified candidate, or will he choose the son of the person who determines whether or not he keeps his job as factory manager?

This is quote from new Economics book, Slackernomics: Basic Economics For People Who Think Economics is Boring, by QandO blogger, Dale Franks. More information on book here.

Inspekt it now, comrades.

Making Young Communists

Proving that it is indeed possible to be a lover and a fighter, Women Against Bush, ActForLove.org, and a range of other progressive groups will hold the first ever “Singles Against Bush” mixer this Thursday, June 3rd, in Washington, DC. The soiree will begin at 7pm, and will take place at “The Reef."

“For the first time ever, DC-area singles who want to ‘take action’ will be able to ‘get action’ at the same time,” said Caryn Schenewerk ... “With any luck, we won’t just be creating new energy for the election in 2004 –

We’ll be helping bring about matches that will create new voters for the 2024.”

Da, comrades. Is Party Line, breeding of genetically correct, properly predisposed Lefties. One question. Would such tovarisch be considered Genetically Modified Organisms?

Clenched fist salute: Wizbang and IBEJO, the latter, a notorious subversive, infiltrated the "Party," and will report later.

U.S. troops clash again with al-Sadr fighters

U.S. troops clash again with al-Sadr fighters

About 30 insurgents were killed in the firefight at a Kufa school, the officials said. Al-Sadr's militia has vexed coalition forces in the Kufa-Najaf area since al-Sadr launched a rebellion against the U.S. occupation in April.

Thirty killed? Who has vexed whom, comrades?

The Liberation of Celebrity Linkage

Janet Jackson? Paris Hilton? Nick Berg? The Commisar formerly recoiled from such nekulturniy topics. Former Party Line said: "Temporary Google spikes only. Bah! Who needs them. The only worthwhile goal is to blog on topics of humor, passion, or insight, such that other bloggers, in awed respect, will link to the posts."

No, comrades, going for Google hits on topical subjects, typically celebrities, can be more worthwhile than I had thought. Primarily because topical subjects can have legs. Wizbang and Backcountry Conservative are still drawing significant traffic from Nick Berg. (Whether a given topic is appropriate or objectionable is another discussion.) In any case, entries on celebrities or seemingly short-lived topics can draw traffic for many weeks.

Komrade Kerry A Kapitalist?

Find out at The Argus.

With compelling photographic evidence. Does 0% mean anything to you, comrade?

America's "Irresponsible" President

"A country where everything is built on the dollar"

You must not take constructive criticism as an attack on America itself, I am often told. We have nothing against the American people, you see, it’s only their leaders and the latters’ policies we disapprove of. Oh, I understand. I understand totally. Thanks for clearing that up.

Thus, recently, one of Europe’s foreign ministers denounced America’s president as the “chief culprit of this war” and went on to bemoan the “American people” for having been betrayed by such an irresponsible leader.

“I don’t see much future for the Americans” added the head of state of the aforementioned minister.

It’s a decayed country. And they have their racial problem, and the problem of social inequalities … My feelings against Americanism are feelings of hatred and deep repugnance. … How can one expect a State like that to hold together — a country where everything is built on the dollar.

Erik Svane's piece eventually identifies the foreign minister making the anti-American remarks.

Khorosho! Read it all, comrades.

Jessica Cutler Watch

Senator sacked me over tales of congress

A few noteworthy excerpts follow ...

Fallujah: Fiasco?

Warmonger Captain Ed is getting worried, comrades! Chyort!

He titles his latest imperialist screed Fallujah Nightmare.

The Telegraph (normally a crass Bushite tool) reports that the Fallujah Force that has taken over that city presides over an anti-American, a "no go area for Westerners."

Brown-shirted members of the Fallujah Brigade, most of them former resistance fighters, manned checkpoints across the city. The few residents who agreed to talk were hastily smuggled into the back of the car.

"Welcome to the free republic of Fallujah," said one resident, who would not give his name. "We run this city now and no American will ever enter here again."

People's Resistance?

Does This Font Make My Blog Look Fat?

WONKETTE SPEAKS!!! COMMISSAR EXCLUSIVE!!!! MUST CREDIT COMMISSAR!!!! THE WONKETTE INTERVIEW!!!!!

The Politburo Diktat recently interviewed Wonkette, doyen of DC dirt.

KGB: I'm really honored, being just a small blogger and all, that you would spend some time on this.
Wonkette: Book deal!
KGB: Uh ... gee thanks, but my blog is just a faux Commie schtick, satirical, mostly about politics and war and news, with an occasional picture of a pretty girl thrown in. It wouldn't have a large audience.
Wonkette: Book deal!
KGB: I don't think so.
Wonkette: Do you write a lot about anal sex?
KGB: No.
Wonkette: K-Y Jelly?
KGB: Nope.
Wonkette: Godiva Chocolate balls?
KGB: Godiva Chocolate balls???
Wonkette: Don't ask. ... Look, I could get you fired, and we could take it from there. How does that sound?
KGB: No, no, no. I kinda wanted to interview about your blog, blogging in general, its relationship to established media, and so forth ..
Wonkette: Bush is gay.

"Jump the Shark" Has

Okay, comrades? Politburo Diktat #78 -

Any blogger saying --- in whole, in part, or in any bloggily clever allusion --- "Jumped the Shark" will be shot.

This diktat is not mere caprice. The Commissar distinctly recalls use of phrase "Jumped the Shark" on Agonist Forum, in June 2003. One year is enough for such meme.

Try these instead:
"Popped the tape deck."
"Over like Friends."
"Tanked or topped," but not "tank-topped."
"That's fired!" (usable for another six months)
"Clocked and Yawned"

Spasibo.

Update: And Kevin was such tovarisch.

WWII Memorial - Part 2

Comrade Bill shares the rest.

Baldilocks on a Roll

baldilocks: The Standard

With this entry on the 30th:

Those of us who pay attention to such things are constantly bombarded with the allegation of how racist this country is. Supposedly, no non-white man or woman in today's society can make it without a hand up or a hand-out. Examples to the contrary are ignored by those making the allegation. And when someone who knows what he's talking about--who actually lived through real racism and came out on top --- who's actually experienced the horrifying murder of his child at the hands of a racist, has the nerve to explicitly say that the 'victims' of today's racism actually have some responsibility in pulling themselves up out of the mire of poverty, the "Soul Patrol," as Michael King so eloquently refers to the black racialists, is up in arms.

And with:

Special Case, a follow-up to her public re-linking of Acidman.

Khorosho, Comrade Juliette!

Siberian Writer - Andre Makine

Minimum fuss, maximum liberty

He was 30 when he came to Paris from Siberia, where he had worked as a teacher and toiled over a slim portfolio of verse. A nook in the Pere Lachaise cemetery became his home. During the warm summer of 1987, as he slept and wrote among the tombs, he would watch women scurrying to the tomb of Victor Noir, a 19th-century journalist murdered for lese-majeste against Napoleon III. His bronze form now lies on his grave as he fell, flat on his back, his top hat by his side. Rubbing his bulging groin is supposed to cure infertility.

"I would see women lying on top of him, spread-eagled, all night long," says Makine, who speaks perfect French, in a theatrical bass that would carry well through a Siberian snowstorm. "It wasn't frightening at all living there," he said. "There were lots of cats and lots of people living there, mad people mostly. The mad have a lot of faith."
...
His success enabled him to leave his sepulchral nook. He now lives in a former lunatic asylum in Montmartre.

WWII Memorial

Capitalist Bill at INDC covered the WWII Memorial dedication ceremonies. Many khorosho fotographs.

Da, of course, he overlooks contributions of Soviet people in Great Patriotic War.

Random Postmodern Essay Generator

Non-humor-impaired comrades are required to click this link:

The Postmodernism Generator: Communications From Elsewhere

I got:

"Society is fundamentally used in the service of elitist perceptions of sexual identity," says Debord; however, according to Long[1] , it is not so much society that is fundamentally used in the service of elitist perceptions of sexual identity, but rather the defining characteristic of society. It could be said that if textual deconstruction holds, we have to choose between libertarianism and patriarchial nationalism. Sartre's essay on postdialectic theory implies that government is part of the absurdity of language. ... (more)

Who could argue with that?

Nekulturniy comrades at this site also have these other random generators
- Adolescent Poetry
- Band Names
- Postmodernism
- Subgenius Brag
- Time Cube

See the right hand column.

PSA

Begin downloading now, comrades. Is your duty to subvert Capitalist entertainment moguls.

Clenched fist salute: Mamamontezz

WWII Missions

Bush Hails Veterans, Calls WWII 'Greatest Mission'

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - President Bush hailed World War II veterans on Saturday for guiding America's "greatest mission" at an emotional ceremony to dedicate the new monument honoring the 16 million U.S. soldiers who served in the war. Standing before tens of thousands seated in rows of chairs on the national mall, Bush said the country owes "a long-standing debt" to this aging generation of Americans.

I'm not sure how many of my blog visitors have ever visited my main site, American Aces of World War Two. It features bios and combat stories of many of the great pilots of WWII, profiles of the fighter planes, and a fair amount of related aviation history.

I started the site in 1999 and have continually added to it, although for the past several months, blogging here has been my focus.

Surprise!

Interim Iraq leader is chosen

BAGHDAD -- Iyad Allawi, a Shi'ite Muslim physician who tried to organize a CIA-backed coup against Saddam Hussein in 1996, has been chosen to lead the new Iraqi government when it takes power in a month, Iraqi and US officials involved in the selection process said yesterday. Allawi, who has criticized occupation authorities for disbanding the Iraqi Army and purging low-level members of Saddam Hussein's Ba'ath party, had emerged Thursday as the choice of United Nations envoy Lakhdar Brahimi, who consulted with thousands of Iraqis, a senior US official in Baghdad said. He was endorsed unanimously yesterday by the US-appointed Governing Council.

Bah! Is merely tool of CIA.

Last? Word on Washingtonienne

It's been a big story. And I'm still chasing that rabbit, which went down the hole days ago.

The whole thing seemed too pat, too coincidental from the get-go, see here. But it was undeniably big - huge traffic spikes and bloggers on cable news.

The Party Line from Jessica & Wonkette --- "All the sex is all true, 'someone' told Wonkette, and the story just took off." --- is, in the literal sense of the word, incredible.

Painting Wonkette as an active conspirator/co-author (before 5/18) is equally incredible.

What's a plausible explanation?

EMAIL

If you send me an email, and you have one of those automated blockers that requires a defined list of approved email addresses, and it otherwise blocks my emails, please:

Put my email address on the blocker before you email me .. if you want a response, that is.

Who Did the Wonkette Know and When Did She know her?

Ana Marie Cox responded to the following as "wrong, high [on drugs], but very imaginative." It probably is.

I'll leave it up, but to be read as questions and coincidences only. The idea of a joint, wholly fabricated, planned conspiracy between the two of them is unlikely.
------------------------------------------------------------
WONKETTE KNEW!!! COMMISSAR EXCLUSIVE!!! MUST CREDIT COMMISSAR!!! THE WONKETTE- WASHINGTONIENNE CONNECTION!!!

KGB investigation of double agents, led by Intrepid Inside Beltway KGB Operative, INDC Bill, leads to these questions and coincidences.

1) Jessica Cutler and Wonkette both worked for National Geographic. At different dates, but Plutocrat Grosvenor network is extensive.

2) Within two days of being outted by Wonkette (losing her job, being exposed to the world, upsetting any current relationships, etc.), Jessica was absolute best friends with Ana Marie Cox. Whatever visions of sugar-plum book deals may have danced in her head, wouldn't she be a little distant toward a stranger who had thus intruded on her life? Supposedly not, she was very comradely and very blase:

Stalin a Master of Charm

Stalin a Master of Charm, New Biography Finds

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - He had a fine tenor voice and could be a warm and generous man, tucking children into bed, caring for a sick friend or ordering his chauffeur to pick up rain-soaked people at a bus stop. He loved gardening, John Wayne movies, classic novels like "The Last of the Mohicans" and ordering the deaths of millions of people, from close friends to complete strangers.

The Commissar could have told you all this, except for foul lies at end.

Taking It

The Commissar loves blogging, the blogosphere, and bloggers (okay, some more than others). We are watching it, living it, participating in it, as it grows, however painfully, messily, or reprehensibly.

As this unfolds, recall what Reactionary Bush said on Monday night, about the war on terror: "We take the world as we find it."

The world of blogging keeps growing. Now, with the Wonkette/Washingtonienne (W/W) story, blogging has changed, with yet one more event. Blogs have made a big splash before, notably The Agonist, The Command Post, et al. during the Iraq War; and various blogs with the Paris Hilt0n and Nick B3rg videos. During the war, Sean-Paul Kelley made the rounds of cable news shows. Many bloggers experienced huge traffic spikes by covering those stories. But those were stories that the internet in general and maybe blogs in particular merely helped to cover or facilitate.

Now we have Jessica Cutler, where the story is "of the bloggers, by the bloggers, and for the bloggers." (May Abraham Lincoln forgive me for that.)