I know from my grandfather's funeral that members of the military find it a special honor to take part in any ceremony honoring their own in their final rest. I was curious about what it must be like to be part of Reagan's honor guard, and Blackfive has the remarks of two soldiers who carried Reagan's casket.

I'll probably have some more posts this weekend and pick a winner to the caption contest.

I seem to be the king of coming up with new ideas and not following through. I like this idea of Reagan's Ronins, though, because it’s something I can just integrate into my regular blogging by giving me more focus. Yes, I'm mainly just a silly humor site, and they'll take my silly humor from my cold dead hands, but important things are happening in the world and I want to do my part. I think a great way to do that is to dedicate ourselves to Reagan's legacy. I even am going to get a nice little bowl to put on my coffee table to fill with jellybeans so I'll have a daily reminder of the bigger things in life (and yummy candy).

So, what to do? I already had some ideas for rules and a banner. Then someone mentioned kanji, which is cool, so here is ronin in kanji:

Former Hostage has already made some new banners based on that:

We may want to add an element for Reagan, though. So what would be some good kanji to represent him? You could just spell out his name phonetically, but I'm thinking that instead we should find some words that best describe Reagan and use the kanji for that as his symbol. I'd like to hear suggestions.

One place to find kanji is about.com
Here is a very comprehensive dictionary.
And here is another site where you can get Kanji on t-shirts and mugs.

More importantly than a banner or symbol is what shall we ronin do to fight against terrorism? Our enemy are those who want to weaken the American resolve and the resolve of the world, so how do we fight back?

Well, things to think about for the weekend.

Rest in peace, Ronald Reagan, we'll handle things here now.

It's Reagan's funeral, I have the day off and nothing particular to do, and thus, of course, I get to thinking: How does our current conflict compare with those in the past?

Back during the Cold War, we had an enemy intent on our destruction and with the means to do it. Still, America wasn't untied in taking down this enemy. I guess, unless you see Rover from next door flying past your window as the whole neighborhood about you explodes, some people just don't get it. You can't kill an enemy by talking endlessly about peace, and, if you could, I assume it would be a very excruciating death outlawed by the Geneva convention. If it weren't for people like Reagan to smack the pinheads around, who knows how long the Soviets would have lasted.

So here we are in the 21st century facing our new enemy: terrorist retards. They also want us all dead. Once again, all of America is not united against them. It seems in some ways like the Cold War, but there are a number of key differences. The neighborhood had exploded, but Rover flying by the window still wasn't enough to give some people a reality check. It is not a "cold" war; just ask our troops in Afghanistan and the Sunni Triangle. Our people (and I mean Americans and allies in that phrase) are still dying in this fight. Also, unlike with the Soviets, there is no conceivable way in this universe or any other allowed by classical or quantum physics that the terrorists can actually defeat us, but they can kill a good number of us in their deluded pursuits. Finally, we don't have Ronnie anymore. It's just me, Dubya, angry man Rumsfeld, and you guys to smack around the pinheads and get things done.

Now, let's get things straight: the terrorists are going to get what's coming to them... eventually. It doesn't matter if we have a Democrat controlled White House and Congress; if a big enough bomb goes off, things will get taken care of. The point is, we need to make sure things happen before more people die. We had more then enough provocation, and it shouldn't take more death and more families weeping before we get the resolve to see thing through to the end, to take care of the terrorist threat once and for all.

I guess my point is - and I'm nearly sure I have one this time - is that the front on the war on terrorists is here at home. We aren't dodging bullets or having to check every vehicle headed our way for a bomb, but it's whether we are resolved or not that makes sure our troops can get their job done, to show the Islamo-fascists that we, the American people, are bonified badasses who are never to be f**ked with. They will not get another big attack against us because they will be too busy being hunted down like dogs.

To win this and win it quickly, we have to protect our resolve. That means we need to fight the media that chips away at it daily. We have to fight the naysayers out there who want to paint us as the bad guys while our troops are dying the freedom of others. And, we have to make sure Kerry doesn't get elected president because... well... he's a goober - even if, he, by the way, served in Vietnam.

So what to do? I guess blogging helps because we put to light what's really important. Still, though we have some push, blogs are still pretty small compared to the media as a whole. So what else to do? I'm not really sure.

Me, for what it's worth, I wrote this.

Sorry for not being funny today, but I guess you get more serious when you turn twenty-five. Plus, it's a solemn day. We lay to rest someone who had the courage when it was needed most. Now it's up to us to continue his legacy.

God bless.

I thought this was kinda neat looking, so I'd point it out:

Rex Steele: Nazi Smasher!

The trailer for the cartoon short is here.

Here are more military stories. I'd like to keep this going as long as I can, so, if you'd like to give your own explanation of why you joined the military or have a military story, please e-mail me with the subject "Military". Thanks.

* * * *

LCpl Zachary, USMC, writes:

I joined the Marines a little over a year ago. I joined the reserves because I go to college and am also going for OCS. I can’t say this was anywhere near the path I thought I would be going. I went through my freshman year of college becoming anxious of the future and feeling I had no idea what I wanted to do or how I wanted to get here. I also felt I had been going to school for so damn long that I needed something different, a new type of challenge. So I go by the local recruiting stations and figured I’d check out the Marines first because I had a few friends in the Corps but I can’t say I knew what I was getting myself into. All I knew was that they were the best and if I was gonna join I’d join the best. Needless to say I did my time at PI and came out a new man, with goals I want to accomplish and know how to accomplish them. It was truly a growing up experience. I still love that I made this decision and will never regret it. I plan on going into JAG the hard way now, the Marine Corps officer program instead of going halfway and going through the Air Force or Navy. Wish me luck at OCS July 11 I ship out once again to face the wraith of the Drill Instructors. I cant wait.

A reader Chris sent this in, and I remember having seen it on snopes but have decided to print it here too:

As I head off to Baghdad for the final weeks of my stay in Iraq, I wanted to say thanks to all of you who did not believe the media. They have done a very poor job of covering everything that has happened. I am sorry that I have not been able to visit all of you during my two week leave back home.

And just so you can rest at night knowing something is happening in Iraq that is noteworthy, I thought I would pass this on to you. This is the list of things that has happened in Iraq recently: (Please share it with your friends and compare it to the version that your paper is producing.)

* Over 400,000 kids have up-to-date immunizations.
* School attendance is up 80% from levels before the war.
* Over 1,500 schools have been renovated and rid of the weapons stored there so education can occur.
* The port of Uhm Qasar was renovated so grain can be off-loaded from ships faster.
* The country had its first 2 billion barrel export of oil in August.
* Over 4.5 million people have clean drinking water for the first time ever in Iraq.
* The country now receives 2 times the electrical power it did before the war.
* 100% of the hospitals are open and fully staffed, compared to 35% before the war.
* Elections are taking place in every major city, and city councils are in place.
* Sewer and water lines are installed in every major city.
* Over 60,000 police are patrolling the streets.
* Over 100,000 Iraqi civil defense police are securing the country.
* Over 80,000 Iraqi soldiers are patrolling the streets side by side with US soldiers.
* Over 400,000 people have telephones for the first time ever.
* Students are taught field sanitation and hand washing techniques to prevent the spread of germs.
* An interim constitution has been signed.
* Girls are allowed to attend school.
* Textbooks that don't mention Saddam are in the schools for the first time in 30 years.

Don't believe for one second that these people do not want us there. I have met many, many people from Iraq that want us there, and in a bad way. They say they will never see the freedoms we talk about but they hope their children will. We are doing a good job in Iraq and I challenge anyone, anywhere to dispute me on these facts. So If you happen to run into John Kerry, be sure to give him my email address and send him to Denison, Iowa. This soldier will set him straight. If you are like me and very disgusted with how this period of rebuilding has been portrayed, email this to a friend and let them know there are good things happening.

Ray Reynolds, SFC
Iowa Army National Guard
234th Signal Battalion

As for this story from Ernie G, all I can say is, "Shazam!":

My funniest military story happened before I went into the service, during ROTC Summer camp, at Fort Belvoir in 1959. We were doing Interior Guard at night, "guarding" the streets in the barracks area. A cadet in my platoon reported the following incident:

"The sidewalk was heavily shaded, and I saw someone walking toward me in the dark. I came to port arms and challenged him:

'HALT! Who is there?'

'Captain Marvel.'

'Advance, motherfucker, and meet Batman.'

So he steps out of the shadow and the first thing I see are silver railroad tracks, then a name tag: MARVELL. He had a big grin, and we exchanged salutes. He was a dentist or veterinary or something. Thank God he wasn't R.A."

Remember, when you are ronin, your enemies will be numerous. The true warrior shall show no fear regardless of which caliber glock a chimp is pointing at him.

Reflect on this, ronin.

Reagan once used a .45 to stop a lady from being mugged (and there is a funny end to the story). The article says it was a .45 revolver, so did Reagan carry a cowboy style peacemaker?

All ronin should read this story and reflect on its wisdom.

A ronin is a samurai who's master was slain. In the old times, a samurai would commit seppuku if his master died, but that was outlawed centuries ago in feudal Japan. Thus, all those mourning Master Reagan, you are not to disembowel yourselves. It is our duty to live on with honor, fight for our nation, and seek vengeance against the enemy in his memory. Those who swore allegiance to Master Reagan are now ronin, and we must ensure our blades are sharpened and ready, for our duties still are many.

DUTIES OF THE FORMER RETAINERS OF MASTER REAGAN:

* We fight all enemies of America and American principles, even if the enemy is quite large and speaks a strange, angry sounding language.

* We never surrender our principles, even if offered money or yummy candy.

* In all areas of life we conduct ourselves with honor, and we sever the necks of those who show dishonor.

* If we see stupid hippy, we explain to hippy that he is stupid and a hippy.

* We then beat hippy.

* We then explain to hippy that he was beaten.

* When the Democrats show dishonor in fighting terrorism, they are to be shunned. Their symbol, the donkey, is to be cut down on sight.

* A bowl of jelly beans should rest upon one's table in remembrance of Master Reagan.

* Those in the military are to fight with honor abroad. Those who are civilians are to fight with honor at home in defense of those risking their lives on the front.

* The French are to be threatened with harm whenever they speak. Their white flag of surrender are to be spat upon.

* The media is to be distrusted; we, who no longer serve a master, must get the truth out by reading and writing in our blogs.

* Always stand up for the principles of America when challenged; if a rogue will not relent in his slander of liberty, then the matter should be settled by clash of swords.

* If the slanderous rogue does not have a sword, cold cock him and run away.

* Any remaining Communists are to be slain on sight with no honor given to him. They are less than peasants.

* If apple pie is ever threatened, you are to stand firm in its defense.

* The way of the samurai is serenity; if a rogue tries to break a samurai's peace by shrill lies, the rogue is to be ignored if he cannot be smitten quickly. Breaking our serenity is all the rogue wishes to achieve.

* He also might be trying to boost book sales by getting attention. Just ignore the idiots.

* You must vow that your sword shall seek the blood tyrants throughout the globe.

* A samurai is always fearless and prepared for battle; his actions each day should be to fight for the founding principles of America. He is never to relent.

These are the duties of the ronin who wish to honor Master Reagan as I have now written them. They may be added to or changed as needed, but the principles of the samurai are always the same: he is foremost a warrior who will fight with honor for the principles of his master. If you are ready to take on these duties - and this is not a decision to take lightly - then you may use this banner to link to the principles of the ronin:

Master Reagan defeated many enemies in his day, but there is still much battle to do to preserve America and the world. Thus we must fight on to honor Reagan-san.

You know where I stand.

There is talk about putting Reagan on the dime, the ten dollar bill, the twenty dollar bill, or the fifty cent piece. That would be hilarious, because then you could watch liberals whine each time they get change (or handouts).

First of all, let's forget the fifty cent piece; when the hell was the last time you saw one of those?

As for the ten dollar bill, that's like the nickel of the paper money world; of all the common currency, it's the one you get the least of. Still, Hamilton could be arguably replaced since he wasn't even a president; all he did was get shot by a vice-president. Even I could do that! Still, it would be nicer to have Reagan on the twenty; I'd love to go to an ATM and take out five Reagan's.

But the dime seems like an best one because, if they just make it half of dimes, then it doesn't have to go through Congress. Plus, then liberals will be less whiny because they still get there favorite president of the 20th century (well, some freaks consider that Clinton) while we get ours. And, the next time some liberal goes whining to you about how mean we're being to terrorists, flick a Reagan dime in his eye. Now that would be cool!

The Pan threat dwindles. Perhaps in two generations, the enemy will be completely gone and the possibility of a planet of the apes made much less likely.

BTW, what does chimpanzee taste like and how is the meat usually prepared? And does one imbue one’s self with chimp evil by eating one, or does he protect himself from the evil wiles of the pan troglodytes?

(Thanks to the traitorous Willow for pointing me to this)

There is a new advertiser to IMAO, the blog Sworn Enemy, which says it is dedicated to the destruction of the enemies of freedom. Go check it out, as it is the duty of every ronin to check out all IMAO advertisers.

In other news, I'd just like to point out this great opening to Jonah Goldberg's latest column about Ronald Reagan:

To summarize why I admired the Gipper: He was put on earth to do two things: kick butt and chew gum, and he ran out of gum around 1962.

All ronin bow in tribute to the mighty Reagan-san.

"Mr. President, you have the first opening statement."

"The future for America is bright. If we stay the course, we will become an economic and military superpower of unimaginable size. The path to that future will be paved with crushed Commie skulls.

"Well, to put thing simplest, the economy is growing, the Soviets are scared of us, and you'd have to be a retard to elect the goofball standing next to me."

"Mr. Mondale," the moderator prompted.

"I plan to make hard choices for America if needed. I won't be afraid of raising taxes if needed..."

"That's it; I'm just going to sleep through this one," Reagan exclaimed.

"Mr. President, you're not allowed to interrupt during the opening statements," the moderator said. "Mr. President? Hmm... apparently the President is asleep."

* * * *

"Polls show you won that debate," Vice-President Bush said while holding up a newspaper, "Even thought you slept through it."

"Next time I'm bringing a pillow," Reagan remarked as he sat in his chair in the Oval Office. "By the way, who is the grinning idiot behind you?"

"That's my son, George Jr.," Bush said, "We call him 'Dubya'."

"It sure is fancy in here!" Dubya exclaimed.

"He hopes to be either a politician or a gas station attendant one day," Bush said proudly.

"God help us all if he achieves either," Reagan remarked.

"Maybe you could give my son some advice," Bush suggested.

"If you want to be a good politician, son," Reagan told Dubya, "You need to stand by your principles no matter what. You can't let whiny liberals push you around and keep you from being focused on what's important. Also, if you ever see a Commie, you need to wallop him good."

"Thanks, President Reagan!" Dubya yelled and then left the office.

"Probably should have beat that kid more when he was younger," Reagan whispered to Bush, "So what's next?"

"Mikhail Gorbachev is here to see you," Bush stated.

"Send the Commie bastard in," Reagan ordered.

Bush left the room and then Gorbachev entered while clutching his eye. "Someone just punched me!"

"Quit your whining, Gorby!" Reagan commanded. "So is your evil dictatorship about to collapse or not?"

"You underestimate the power of the Soviet Union!" Gorbachev declared, "We will not bow to your commands! We will not..."

"It may be ‘Morning in America’," Reagan interrupted as he stood up and approached Gorbachev, but it's lights out for you!" He then grabbed Gorbachev and smashed his head through the wall.

"Not again!" Bush yelled as he ran into the room, "We're trying to keep the deficit down, and all this drywall repair isn't helping!"

"Defeating Communism is more important than deficits," Reagan said, "Now what?"

"That scary man - your Middle East Envoy - is here to see you," Bush answered.

Reagan sat back down at his desk. "I've been waiting for his report."

Donald Rumsfeld marched into the office and threw a folder down in front of Reagan. "Here are my conclusions on the Middle East."

Reagan opened the folder. "Well, just one page. Let's see what is says..." Reagan put on his reading glasses. "Kill them all." He looked to Rumsfeld and handed him the piece of paper. "Are you sure you don't want to add anything to this?"

Rumsfeld thought for a moment. He then pulled out a pen and wrote on the paper before handing it back.

Reagan looked it over. "Kill them all... now!" He turned back to Rumsfeld. "Thank you for your input, Mr. Rumsfeld."

"There's a Commie stuck in your wall, you know," Rumsfeld remarked.

"I was redecorating," Reagan answered.

"I don't like it."

"Neither do I. Could you toss it in the dumpster on your way out?"

"Sure," Rumsfeld answered. He then pulled Gorbachev out of the wall and dragged him from the office.

"That man just scares me," Bush remarked.

"That's because you're a wimp," Reagan answered.

"There's a lot to be worried about," Bush said, "It's going to be a battle for reelection and..."

"Have a little faith, George," Reagan interrupted, "No one is going to vote for that idiot from Minnesota and his lady friend. We'll then keep this economy growing, destroy communism, increase our defense, and make an America so strong that it can not be torn down again... even if some lecherous hillbilly somehow slithers is way into the office sometime in the future."

"Sounds good to me," Bush remarked, "and hopefully I can continue your legacy."

Reagan grunted. "Whatever. I'm going to get a T.V. tray and eat dinner while watching the Cosby Show. Yell for me if someone needs me to hit the button."

Thank you Mr. Reagan for all the opportunities I have today, and God bless.

Reagan liked the same gun I do:

Morris also tells the story of how Reagan bought a pistol in Iowa: He "did acquire a 1934 Walther PPK .380 pocket-sized police pistol early in his stay in Des Moines and kept it lovingly the rest of his life. He even toted it in his briefcase as president."

If .380 is good for Reagan, it's good enough for me. I got my PPK back from the gunsmith and will be heading to the range to try it out and fire my Kel-Tec .380 again. Expect a range report.

By popular demand... Caption Contest!

Whoever best captions the obvious chemistry between Schroeder and Chriac wins marginal recognition by me.

I've yet to read any of the Harry Potter books, marginally enjoyed the first movie, was entertained by the second, and really liked the third, but I'm glad I'm not the only one who had a problem with this.

Though Ronald Reagan is beloved by most Americans, liberals really really hated the guy. Why? Here are the best reasons I could figure out:

TOP TEN REASONS LIBERALS HATED RONALD REAGAN

10. When Reagan spoke, he really connected with the American public who tended to throw rocks when liberals spoke.

9. They were constantly embarrassed by how all the times he appeared on T.V. caused them to wet their pants.

8. Reagan's war on drugs caused hippies to get beat twice as much as usual.

7. They never made as much money as they wanted to make during the "decade of greed."

6. Reagan's looking at issues in black and whites made the liberal elites’ lengthy thesis on grays much less popular.

5. Numerous times Reagan invited liberal for policies discussions and then just trapped the liberals in his oval office while he beat them with a bat.

4. Reagan just never understood that, despite millions dead and oppressed, the Soviet Union had really good intentions.

3. During the economic boom of the eighties, the liberals had to constantly hold their hand over their ears and yell, "La! La! Not listening!" to keep from having their economic views objectively disproved.

2. There was some suspicion he dyed his hair.

And the number one reason liberals hated Ronald Reagan...

He was optimistic for the future of the United States of America, their least favorite nation.

Hooray!

Ronald Reagan kicked so much ass throughout the years that he deserves his memory to be honored. In the spirit of Reagan, our tributes to him should show optimism to the future or help continue the fight against tyrrany.

One idea I have is a Horrors of Communism Memorial. I've been to the Holocaust Memorial and it's quite a chilling thing. While the Holocaust Memorial is a solemn reminder of the depravity people are capable of, a Communism Memorial would not only feature the violence of the past but also the violence of today's Communist regimes. It would help remind people why the fight needs to continue today. I think Reagan would approve of that.

Other ideas to honor Reagan:

* Put Reagan on Mount Rushmore: He should go up there with the other greats. I'm not sure if there is room, though, so we may have to carve over one of those already up there. We can't touch Teddy or Lincoln since they're Republicans, so my vote goes for Thomas "let's solve problems with embargos" Jefferson.

* The Reagan Raygun: Since he was a big proponent of a missile shield, let's finally complete SDI and have a laser named after him that can shoot missiles out of the sky, shoot missile off of the ground, shoot the heads off of people, etc.

* A Giant Among Men: Reagan's legacy will never be forgotten if we make a fifty-story robot of him that has glowing red eyes and breathes fire. It can stomp through jungles and the primitives there will begin to worship Reagan as the god of death.

* This Bean is For You: How about special editon Jelly Belly jellybeans in honor of Ronald Reagan with special jelly bean names like Commie-killer cinnamon, Gernada Grape, and a mystery flavor called "I do not recall." And they can just have the good beans this time and none of those filler ones no one likes like coconut and toasted marshmellow (if you actually like those flavors, then get off my site!).

* The Way of the Ancients: Make his tomb a giant pyramid for all to see. Make sure it curses all liberals who enter it... or touch it... or look at it... or hear of it. Come to think of it, let's just curse all liberals in Reagan's memory.

* It's All in Good Fun: Make February 6th, Reagan's birthday, National Beat a Hippie for the Gipper Day. You can just see Reagan smiling down upon us as some freaky long hairs get their learning at the end of a fist.

* Mass Exodus: Reagan didn't like Democrats, so a great way to honor him would be to get them all out of elected office. This can be done either with the ballot box or pitch forks and torches.

* Fight the Good Fight: The best way to honor Reagan's memory would be to continue to fight for what's right in America and all other countries. In every action in every day, whether those actions be big or small, we should strive for a freer world, never forgetting the hardships of those who got us here or the hardships that will be needed to continue to perserve our way of life.

Okay, that last one was kind of sappy, but I miss Reagan and want to make sure his legacy continues.

If you have your own ideas for ways to honor Reagan's memory, whether serious or humorous, put them in the comments section.

Cpl. Joe foo' tells me that Ronald Reagan meant a lot to people in the military, as he always saluted. "One of the worst things than not saluting is not returning a salute."

In a way, I think our currently fighting is an extension of Reagan's optimism, that a brighter future is possible even a land that seems to have been war-torn forever.

Anyway, here are more explanations by readers of why they joined the military. I still have a lot of stories waiting to be posted, but, if you'd like to give your own explanation of why you joined the military or have a military story, please e-mail me with the subject "Military". Thanks.

* * * *

Jeff from Connecticut writes:

I joined the military in 1987. I don't come from a poor family. I was not unemployed when I went in. The military was not the only job I could get in those unfortunate economic times. I enlisted so I could get money for college.

I was 25 when I enlisted in the Army, several years older than most typical recruits. I had gone to college for a couple of years, blew it off, then joined the working world. Once I came to my senses and realized that the best way to get a decent, good paying job in an office was through college, I was faced with a decision: I could take 97 years of part time night school to get my degree (and that was an optimistic time frame, given my total lack of self-discipline), or I could suck up a couple of years in the military, take some classes while I was in, then get out and finish up my degree on Uncle Sam's dime. I chose the latter course.

It worked out. I was in for over 6 years (I re-upped once so the wife and I could squeeze out a young 'un), I finished college in 2.5 years and now I'm a corporate drone earning in the top quintile. For all of the weenies who believe that the military is the job of last resort for low-income or unemployed people, I know first hand that's a crock of dung. Surely there are some people who went in for those reasons, but they were in the minority. Most of the people I served with were in exactly the same boat as I: looking for a way to fund college without saddling their families with the tab or coming out with a boatload of debt. Some folks liked the military life enough to make it a career. And a good career it is. You serve your country in an immediate, fulfilling, and meaningful way, you get to do all manner of cool things like fly in and jump out of helicopters and airplanes, you get 30 days of paid vacation starting from year 1, you are REQUIRED to shoot and blow up stuff, and you can retire with full lifetime benefits (pension, free health care, commissary privileges, etc) after 25 years. If you go in when you're 18, you can get out when you're 43 and have a whole other civilian career.

Is the military life hard? Sure it is. You endure long separations from your loved ones, you operate in all manner of weather and environments, you sleep (if you're lucky) on the ground for weeks at a time, and oh yeah, I almost forgot, every now and again people try to kill you. But I have NEVER, before or since, felt the camaraderie and sense of duty that I felt while I was in. I'm proud of my service, and I'm grateful to those who are serving now.

El Jefe writes:

I graduated from Christian Brothers High School in May of 1981. I was working at Victoria Station (not Secret - unfortunately) restaurant for the better part of the previous 2 years. I had done the 'American Dream' by starting off washing dishes, moving on to salad bars, bussing tables, bar back, prep chef and finally waiting tables.

In late August I went off to college at Abilene Christian University in Texas. (Yeah, I know. Catholic high school and Christian university. Hey, you can't say I'm not religious.) After the first semester I decided that college wasn't for me at that time in my life. So, in the summer I came home to Sacramento and went back to work at the restaurant. After a couple of months it was time for me to make a decision. Either go back to school, move up to management at the restaurant, or something else. Back to school was out. Management was looking fairly good except I saw how beat down my friends were after spending nearly 80 hours a week there for not a lot of money.

The military was looking like a good option. My father, great uncle and cousin had all spent time in the Air Force. (My great uncle was a retired Chief Master Sergeant in the Army Air Corps and was in during the Bataan Death March - which he refused to talk about.) I thought about all the services and here are my reasons:

Army - Pro: Quick promotion depending on your career field
Con: Limited career fields that I was interested in

Marines - Pro: Instant respect no matter where you go/camaraderie/esprit de corps
Con: Same as the Army

Navy - Pro: Go EVERYWHERE in the world/good career fields
Con: Didn't know if I could handle being on a ship for 6 months a year

Air Force - Pro: Lots of career choices/good world-wide locations
Con: Slow promotions

Oh, yeah. Pro for each was discipline.

I ruled out the Army and Marines for career choices. It was down to the Navy and Air Force. I went on ship tour in 'Frisco and talked with the Petty Officers about their lives and ship life in particular. They showed me their living quarters and that basically sealed it for me. You see, I'm 6' 5" tall. Bunks on a ship are maybe 6' long. You do the math. That and there's 3 to 6 in each berthing. I lived in a dorm in college and I know how 3 guys in one room are. Yes, I could handle being on a ship (biggest concern was if I had the stomach/sea legs). No, I didn't want to.

So, it was the Air Force. I went and spoke with the recruiter (who lied - which one of 'em don't?) and he started spewing on about the 'AF doctrine' and all that. I knew better. I asked what career fields he had open. He looked at my education (honor role material) and noticed that I'd taken language courses in high school. He said, "How about being a linguist?" I looked into it and found that I would have a year in Monterey learning to be fluent in the language of my choice. Now, remember, this is 1982 and the Cold War was still on full boil. So, I said that if I pass the test to get in could I choose German? The reason is that I had taken 2 years' worth in high school and that I knew I would get stationed in Germany and fly around on the AWACS planes. My dad said that it would be a good choice for when I got out because the CIA, FBI, and a number of civilian firms would be looking for that line of work.

To make a long story somewhat shorter, I passed easily, got a delayed enlistment (5 months), and went to basic in May '83. Now, the week before I went in, I drove down to Texas to see some friends. On the way back I got 2 speeding tickets (I had a 1970 340 'Cuda at the time - easy mark). When I got to basic I had to go for a security interview to see if I would qualify for a Top Secret clearance. The interviewer noted that I got the tickets within 24 hours of each other and after I pled my case he still denied it to me.

This left me in a quandary. Get out, go back home, and work at the restaurant or see what other jobs were available. Home was not an option. I was offered the standard 'open general' options: Burger flipper, Fuels specialist, Weatherman and Cop. (Why cop? ALWAYS a need for those and with my heavy foot...). The last option was Computer Operator. In high school I'd taken a couple of programming courses and enjoyed it. So, I asked if Computer Programmer was available. The guy said, "Let's see what you do on the test." You needed 51 for Operator and 72 for Programmer. I scored 85. Guy still said, "Operator. Take it or leave it." I took it.

Best damn decision I ever made.

BTW: I got my Top Secret clearance less than 3 years later because the AF merged my career field with another that required it.

P.S. My ENTIRE family lectured on and on about NOT going into the military in 1981. After I retired last April, not one of them wasn't proud that I served my country for 20 years.

El Jefe, who sent this to me some weeks ago, happened to end the e-mail with a Reagan quote. I know I've seen it everywhere, but it's worth repeating:

I hope that when you're my age you'll be able to say, as I have been able to say: we lived in freedom, we lived lives that were a statement, not an apology.

Connecticut Yankee writes:

I joined the Navy for several reasons, first, just about every male relative I have on both my mother's and my father's side of the family was either a sailor or a marine, (although I heard rumors growing up that one or two black sheep joined the army) as far back as the American revolution; a fact that my grandmother was always proud to tell us. She was a member of the DAR. My great grandfather was in the "Great White Fleet" of Theodore Roosevelt. So I guess it was a tradition in the family. Anyway, I am a little older than most of the people who write you, (although not ancient by any means, I love this site and have a great appreciation of your humor and talent, can anyone say free "Nuke the Moon T-shirt?"). [Ed. Note: Not me]

I was born in 1956 after my father returned from the Korean War; Navy of course. I grew up during the Viet Nam War and watched it every night as we ate dinner. During junior high and later high school, I watched as upperclassmen graduated and were drafted, then watched as my cousins went off to Viet Nam. I also knew that these boys were not being allowed to win and it sickened me to watch them fight, bleed and die while anti-war protestors undermined the country's efforts and provide aid and comfort to the enemy (are you hearing me John Kerry and Teddy Kennedy?). I made up my mind that I was going to either enlist, if the war was still going on, after high school or somehow get into college and join after finishing my degree.
The war ended before I graduated from high school (1974), but I still felt a need to serve my country; must be in my DNA. Anyway, there was no way I was going to afford college on my own, my parents divorced when I was in the seventh grade, and in those days, child support rarely included college tuition. So I tired to obtain an appointment to the Naval Academy, but my grades didn't impress my congressman we're talking a "C" student, sports, student council and scouts. I truly think that GOD intervened on my behalf and I was awarded a full four year NROTC scholarship. My entire family was extremely proud of that fact that, even though all my male ancestors on both sides were Navy men, as far back as anyone could tell, I was going to be only the second officer; I had a great great uncle who was an officer in the Union Navy during the civil war.

Anyway, it was a great college experience. Utah, is a nice conservative state where short hair wasn't out of the ordinary in the middle and late '70's; plus the skiing was fantastic! By the way, my NROTC Battalion, I kid you not, had a Marine GSGT who looked and sounded just like R. Lee Ermy of "Full Metal Jacket" and "Mail Call" fame. His last name was Pickles, so any of you who were in the Marines knows with a name like AND a Gunnery Sergeant, that he was one tough old son of a gun. Sgt. Pickles did 2 combat tours of Viet Nam, and I respected him. (However, that doesn't mean that we didn't have some good laughs at his expense; another story.) I mean this guy gave the same cadence as in FMJ for crying out loud. When I went to see FMJ, I sat there and laughed out load during the whole Paris Island section because it was so absolutely SGT Pickles! People in the move theater ! must have thought I was some nut case or psychotic loon!

The Navy was the best thing to ever happen to me. I received a top notch education, that I would not have been otherwise able to afford. I was commissioned and Officer and given great responsibilities which I took very seriously; much more so than I thought I would while I was in college. I met some of the greatest people in the world, real salt of the earth types. I got to run multi million dollar equipment right out of college; try that in the civilian sector. I could go on and on but I am probably boring you. Just one more thing though, and I think this feeling is shared by everyone who served; I would, in a heart beat, join again and volunteer for Iraq if they would take 48 year old out of shape old geezers like me. I'd especially join again if it meant I could take the place of one of the young guys over there now who haven't had a full life yet, like I have.

Rockynoggin writes:

I'd like to say that I joined the military out of a sense of civic duty and patriotism. I can't say that, though.

I had spent 3 years in college wasting time and money (my money, not that of my parents nor governments) and finally moved to Dallas to live with my brother and find work in law enforcement. I had wanted to be a cop ever since I was a kid. It was all I thought about.

I interviewed with every PD in the DFW area and not one offered me a job. Despite 3 years of Criminal Justice undergrad work and a clean record. Finally, after one interview in Plano, the officers broke it down for me.

"Look," they said, "you're not a minority and you have no previous law enforcement experience. You're a good kid, but you also need to mature. Have you ever considered joining the military as an MP?"

I had not ever considered military service. But they assured me that if I did a tour as an MP, my Honorable Discharge would be my ticket to becoming a policeman in just about any jurisdiction I applied.

So, I pulled into the first recruiting office I could find - and it happened to be an Army one. I told the recruiter that I wanted to be an MP, and naturally he signed me up to be a Legal Clerk. He assured me that it was pretty much the same thing and that I could always change my MOS after I was in.

**NOTE: NEVER, EVER, EVER believe ANYTHING a recruiter tells you.**

Well, the upside was that the 82nd Airborne needed legal clerks, so at least I got to be a little hard core and got my wings and ended up with 25 or so jumps - including one from a Huey after PLDC (Primary Leadership Development Course - required for promotion to Sergeant).

That was 1986. I ended up doing 4 years active, and then I got out on "Green-to-Gold" and finished my degree and got my butter-bar. I did 6 more years in the National Guard as an Engineer Platoon Leader and then Company XO. I got out when they said I needed to move to Battalion staff to make Captain - to me, it was only worthwhile when I was with the line troops.
So, I resigned and I cried like a baby when I got home after my last drill. I still miss the Army life.

I never became a cop. But I can say that joining the Army was one of the best things I ever did, aside from marrying Mrs. Rockynoggin!

For more memories of Ronald Reagan and his legacy, John Hawkins has dedicated his entire site to the former president with numerous posts and links. Make sure to check it out and remember the man we all owe a great deal to.

As anyone paying attention knows, I was born in 1979. Thus, my first memories of a president were of Ronald Reagan. I only had vague notions of the international conflict going on, but I was reassured by the strong leader we had in office. He was just a talking head on the T.V. speaking about things way beyond me, but I still remember the reverence of knowing that was our president. That was the leader of our country against the evil Soviets. I remember it was my older brother, Joe foo', who first explained Reagan to me as in first grade as they had their own mock election ballots and he was voting for Reagan. He even got in trouble once for exclaiming in class, "Mondale sucks!" I guess it was fitting he was the one who told me Reagan died, telling me over the phone as I hadn't been following the news over the weekend.

When Reagan announced in 1994 that he had Alzheimer's Disease, it was something known to me as my own grandfather was battling it at the time. Unfortunately, it's not a battle you can win. Slowly the mind goes until the person you know is longer there anymore. It is not an affliction you would wish on anyone. Reagan did the only thing he could do and wrote one last letter the America public before he retired to home to live the last years of life with as much dignity as possible.

Now that he has passed on, a great chapter in American history has been closed. I'm not much for mourning, though, so I sent out my crack research staff to find out as much as they can about Ronald Reagan so we can celebrate his life.

FUN FACTS ABOUT RONALD REAGAN

* Reagan was born in the year 1911, the same year my favorite gun was designed. What the hell was its name again?

* As a lifeguard in his youth, Reagan saved 77 lives while letting 12 Communists drown.

* Reagan eventually became an actor, first falling in with the left-wing Democrats. Eventually he tired of them, though, and strangled the whole lot of them.

* Reagan made one movie with a monkey which he considered the low-point of his life.

* He helped expose all the Communists in Hollywood so they could be tied to rocks and sunk to the bottom of the sea - as was the custom of the time. Only if someone would do that now.

* Reagan got to know America by wandering the country, stopping briefly in towns to right wrongs with his kung fu skills and give speeches for G.E.

* He eventually got into politics by running for governor of California. An actor as governor of California? That's crazy!

* Governor Reagan was so successful that it took until Gray Davis for Democrats to completely screw things up again.

* Reagan tried to run against Gerald Ford in 1976 for the Republican nomination for president, but in the end the Republicans thought Ford's bumblingness was the best anecdote to Carter's goofiness.

* Reagan got the Republican nomination to run against Carter in 1980 when Republicans became convinced that, if they didn't vote for him, they would hurt them.

* Most speculate the turning point in Reagan's campaign against Carter was the debate where he won the audience over with his charm by telling Carter, "There you go again," and then proceeded to beat Carter until he cried like a little girl.

* Right after Reagan became president, Iran released its hostages. Some think this may have been part of some secret deal, the deal being that, if Iran released the hostages, Reagan would not kill everyone involved in the most horrible way he could imagine.

* When Reagan was shot in 1981, it only made him angry, easily letting him put in his tax cuts through a quivering, Democrat controlled Congress.

* The weird mark on Gorbachev’s head was from the first time he met with Reagan and they battled with swords. Reagan decided to spare Gorbechav's life since he deemed him a useful fool to help him in destroying the Soviet Union.

* Reagan's nemesis in Congress was Democrat Speaker of the House Tip O'Neil. Occasionally, Reagan would wait in hiding behind a bush and tackle O'Neil just to keep the bastard in line.

* Reagan's aides told Reagan not to call the Soviet Union an "Evil Empire", but Reagan couldn't help it. They were just that damn evil!

* Reagan was known for keeping jellybeans at the table during cabinet meetings. When he didn't like someone, he'd give him a special jar of jellybeans, where, with each handful of jellybeans, the victims would be getting closer and closer to the poison jellybean!

* The public was really moved by Ronald Reagan - not by him making them fear the Soviet Union but by giving the optimistic vision of what the world could be. The brilliance of the glory of this future America was so great that it caused liberals to shriek and hide in their dank caves.

* When the air traffic controllers went on strike, Reagan showed his firm resolve by trapping them in a quarry and releasing grizzly bears on them.

* When Grenada underwent a Communist coup and took American students hostage, Reagan quickly grabbed a .45, paddled a boat to Grenada, and shot all the Communists himself.

* Ronald Reagan once joked that he outlawed the Soviet Union and that "the bombing would start in five minutes." In reality, it took a half an hour to start the bombing.

* When Mondale challenged Reagan for the presidency in 1984, there were plans to make Reagan's age an issue. Reagan easily defeated that plot by saying in a debate, "I will not make age an issue in this campaign. I'm not going to exploit for political purposes my opponents youth and inexperience," and then proceeding to beat Mondale until he cried like a little girl.

* Speaking of girls, the Mondale candidacy was notable for being the first with a female on the ticket. It was also notable for being the losingest campaign electoral wise by a major party, getting only 13 electoral votes with 525 for Reagan. Most news stations didn't even bothering coming up with a color to show which states Mondale won.

* The only state Mondale did win, Minnesota, eventually rejected him in a Senate bid making him the only major candidate to lose in all fifty states. Not so great a record, but what have you done of note?

* Reagan's uber-landslide victory was attributed to what were then known as "Reagan Democrats" and today are simply known as "Republicans".

* Reagan was stereotyped as being senile and falling asleep all the time, but, hey, destroying Communism is hard work.

* Reagan's tax cuts caused such an economic boom during the eighties that I got one of those Nintendo sets with the robot for Christmas.

* Reagan famously told Gorbachev to “tear down that wall” and then followed through by holding a gun to Gorbachev’s head until he chiseled down the entire Berlin Wall with an ice pick.

* There were also lots of synthesizers in music during the eighties, though Reagan's involvement with that is sketchy.

* The Soviet Union bankrupted itself trying to compete against the American's SDI, something Reagan only imagined after having some bad jellybeans.

* When it got out that Nancy Reagan consulted an astrologer, it caused great embarrassment for the White House... just as the astrologer predicted!

* During Reagan's final years, there was a scandal about arms being traded for hostages. I'm sure if the people who got the arms weren't particularly nice, though, Reagan made sure they were killed with other arms.

* Now that Reagan is in Heaven, we can be assured that, once we get there, it will be free of Commies and hippies.

Now, please share your favorite memories of Reagan in the comments section.

Rest in peace, Ronald Reagan. This country and the world is a better place for having known you.