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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
Squid Grrl's LiveJournal:
| Friday, December 12th, 2003 | |
| 8:41 pm | i'm trying to decide if i'm daring enough to walk around in a club wearing ruffled underpants. decisions, decisions. Current Mood: hmm |
| 7:15 pm | if you aren't going to manray tonight, you'll miss a pantsless, fishnetted, corsetted jillianpie. and you'll be sad. Current Mood: HOT |
| Thursday, December 11th, 2003 | |
| 9:00 pm | i'm kind of drunk. and it's only 9! i'm bad. very very bad. vroooom. Current Mood:  drunk |
| Wednesday, December 10th, 2003 | |
| 7:00 pm | tonight is glamour night. i will partake in much bleaching of roots and long, hot aromatherapy baths and leg-shaving and nail painting. i will end the evening smelling nice and lookin' hot and being soft. it's good to be a grrl. Current Mood:  relaxed |
| Tuesday, December 9th, 2003 | |
| 5:10 pm | in my presence, no Wheat Thin is safe. Current Mood: fiend. Current Music: i love the happy squid icon. <3 |
| 5:06 pm | i was kind of a grumpus at work today. i finished my christmas shopping. i need to take a shower because i smell of burnt milk and shopping malls. oh, and i want to get laid, too. that's all. Current Mood:  naughty |
| 1:26 am | i'd enjoy some entertainment. where's my damned entertainment? bastards. Current Mood: sober. boo. |
| Monday, December 8th, 2003 | |
| 10:37 pm | i was getting hit on like a mad chicken today. one of said attempts was possibly the creepiest proposition ever: Fifty-something guy standing at bar: "i'm going to be dressed up as Santa at Toys R Us tonight." Jillianpie: "neat." Fifty-something guy standing at bar: Jillianpie: "no thanks, i'm saving myself for the easter bunny. VENTI NONFAT CHAI ON THE BAR." fun times. ooh, and last night was fun. fun in a messed-up hair, difficulty walking, short of breath sort of way. >:) Current Mood: sit on my lap, bitch |
| Sunday, December 7th, 2003 | |
| 8:53 pm | wee flecks of betterness found their way in to the dismal lump that was my mood. 'spose i should go in to some detail as to the rotten awfulness of the last few days... ex-david and i were actually speaking for a few days. having real conversations that people on friendly terms have. good stuff. however, on thursday night, in the middle of one of said good conversations, he started getting all personal and asking questions that he'd never asked, which required answers that i'd never even hinted to, due to their only serving to make him feel bad. so he asked about New David. or, rather, sex that involved New David. and i told him the truth. and he was peeved. and then he asked if David and i were sleeping together before i went to miami in october. and i told him the truth. and he was pissed. the conversation just about ended there. his new girl called, he said he'd call me back, he didn't call me until about three hours later, at which point david was at my house, and, needless to say, i was unavailable to talk. he called the next night. he asked if i had been seeing david before i broke up with him. i told him the truth. he hung up the phone. i turned mine off and sobbed. he left me a voicemail. it involved a poem. one of those "let's really upset jillian" sort of poems. he read it, i cried. he ended it and said "this will be the last time you hear from me for a long time. don't call me back. i don't want to talk to you." i was at David's when i got this. i suppose my getting all emotional over my ex probably bothered him. he was being all sorts of weird yesterday and this morning. like, weird as in how he was acting the day before he broke up with me in september sort of weird. things are sort of looking up, and we'll see how it goes. just drove in the snow without any major complications. started christmas shopping. now i have to pee. i will wake up tomorrow and things will get better. and, if they don't, they will eventually. and Limacine thinks i'm cute. the end. Current Mood:  cold |
| 12:32 pm | i could update and go in to detail as to how everything got messed up. i could tell you about the phone calls i've gotten and my inability to drive and the new weirdness that surfaced yesterday. (and my not having any idea from where it stemmed.) just don't feel like it right now. and pretty fucking sad about it, too. Current Mood: dammit |
| 6:50 am | things gots pretty lousy pretty fast. hrm. |
| Friday, December 5th, 2003 | |
| 11:58 pm | our hero jillianpie returns, having had her first experience driving in snow. she did not like it. not one bit. |
| Wednesday, December 3rd, 2003 | |
| 5:37 pm | somthing's not quite right with beezus. she's getting loud again and not running very well. i'm hoping it's just the cold and that a tune-up will do the trick. i should find a way to occupy myself tonight. ooh, occupation. Current Mood:  worried |
| Tuesday, December 2nd, 2003 | |
| 8:03 pm | finally got around to renewing my paid account. now i have fancy userpics. go me. |
| 4:09 pm | so you know... i've actually been in a really good mood for a vast majority of the last three weeks. it wouldn't seem so, based on my posts. but i am happy with things right now. you've just got to take my word for it. and i'm really hopeful that things continue in the pattern that they have. |
| 3:33 pm | hurts like hell today's my day off. i got to spend about four hours of it at the doctor's office with my sister. fuuuuuun. it's all sorts of stupid ridiculously cold out there. i had a girl's night in last night with blue corn tortilla chips, a full pack of cigarettes and three DVDs. finally had a conversation with ex-david, too. we're far from caught up, but it was nice all the same. i've been thinking a lot about him/us as of late, which probably has to do with his leaving the apartment on sunday. i definitely am happy that things are over and am definitely glad i made the decision i did. i am healing more and more and have progressed by leaps and bounds over the last month. sunday was just another of the things that is a huge marker, another nail in the coffin, as it were. perhaps the last one. yeah, my things have long been gone, and yes, it had not been *my* apartment for a good six months. but now it's empty. it's void of us and everything it contained for two years. i wrote this just before we moved into the apartment: there's just something about moving, about packing up one's belongings and just leaving, that has always bothered me. yeah, sure, it's a new begininng...but it's also an end to something, be it significant or insignificant. i've always had trouble with endings. i'm not sure why, but i have. i've never willingly ended relationships or jobs or much ov anything. someone else will now move into that empty husk. they will have no idea what it once contained. they will not walk in there and remember our christmases and anniversaries. they will not recall the good or bad that that place housed. it's gone, and it's yet another part of my life that is over, another thing to which i can never return. and i know, in theory, it's just a little set of rooms in a big cement complex and nothing more. i know that it was lived in dozens of times before i got there. but all the same, it was mine. and i've never felt more at home than i did in that little apartment. and, from time to time, i miss it like hell. and i miss us like hell. and i miss the thousands of memories we created in it. i think i always will. two thousands miles away, there is an empty apartment, a boy and a cat. and they are all starting new lives in my absence. Current Mood:  pensive |
| Monday, December 1st, 2003 | |
| 6:50 pm | yesterday was my first real day off in weeks and it was really really great and wonderful. we went in to the city, *i* went to *church*, we hung out with the duckies and fat squirrels at public gardens, i dropped by the sprint pcs store and finally dropped david from my plan, and, you know, we walked around and stuff. then we went home and watched movies and engaged in bitchin snuggling. :D a very lovely and much-needed day. oh yes. today involved work. boo. |
| Saturday, November 29th, 2003 | |
| 11:31 pm | man... i was in such a good mood for so long. i went to get in my car this afternoon and it started snowing. that made me a little sad. i got to work, and the moment i walked in the door i found myself in a miserable mood. i couldn't get out of it. and it ended up lowering everyone else's morale and that got me pissier and it just got worse and worse. it probably had a lot to do with the fact that i've not had a real day off since...i dunno, the tuesday before last. gah. i don't know why i feel this way. stop stop stop. Current Mood:  aggravated |
| 1:15 pm | last night...just...um..wow. i posted this on november 7th.. i want to have an amazing conversation. and good drinks. and i want to beat someone senseless at trivial pursuit. and good sex. yes, dammit, good sex. and pumpkin pie. and i want to look foxy and i want people to fucking swoon their brains out. ooh, snuggling too. and fingers running through my hair. and dreamy eyes. there was no trivial pursuit. and sex wasn't necessary. everything else and more was there. just....perfect. |
| Friday, November 28th, 2003 | |
| 7:38 pm | soooo tired. will fall down now. Current Mood:  exhausted |