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a failed apology

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[021505; 1144p]


push me out from the darkness, to a sky that's colored blue. somewhere someone's finding happiness, while i'm still here so hung up on you. nothing is real, & i want you to know that i'm not alright. when you tear open my chest, i'll try not to flinch... won't make promises, you taught me that. i'm still losing what's left of my self esteem... and i'm still watching the slow fading of all my daydreams. the hardest things to say are the words that mean the most, so i'll bite my tongue 'til it bleeds and i doubt you'll even know. the easiest things to fake are feelings to fool someone else, and i've been tricked for so long by you that i spent these last few months in my own hell. [[ a failed apology, a day too late but now i see that all you really want is to see me dangle neck first from a tree. but what would you need me for? you've got friends galore, and all you'll ever be to me is a stupid lying excuse for a person. ]] i could call, but i know that you won't be there to pick up the phone. you don't have time for me.
i hate myself
for loving you like this
i hate myself for hating myself
just enough to love you
((just enough to love you))



comment here to be added. after several years, i've decided to go friends only.
B22NG! M

[021305; 628p]
how exciting.



decided i'm not going to prom.
saving my dress for homecoming.

going to washington d.c. early spring break.
not going to toronto. fuck toronto.
[ i'll have my spot tomorrow morning. ]

i have my money for the straylight run concierto.
but i need somebody to go with me. peach? $10. it's friday at 8.

i have a big big crush.


on the phantom of the opera.


seriously.
B2NG! M

[020805; 1116p]
i'm an opinionated douchebag )
B3NG! M

[020805; 530p]
so i got my license, and that was cool.



who wants to take me to prom 2005? i'll drive, with my big dress.

but no drugs or sex. k thx.





school is... school.

Read more... )


anyway... there's my long update that was way past due. umm. take me to prom. :(
B2NG! M

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