Nothing terribly important [entries|friends|calendar] Veronica [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

(Fall With Me) ... [11 Jun 2004|06:00am] [ mood | ohmygoshIcan'tbelieveIamstillupright ] [ music | G Love and Special Sauce - Dreamin ] I got cut late. My finger bled all over the place. When asked what I was doing, I replied "Bleeding." Very schoolgirl today. Creepy staring people telling the truth but being creepy nonetheless. The crazy gay rockers left early and many people were thankful. Fruits and flowers and fruits. I have bad luck picking the right version. Today is the day not the day, for Linguine Santa Fe. Stories of dismembered ants, inflated chicken napping, and human maggots from the bowels of hell. Lack of beans is something I don't know I will ever be able to cope with. I heart mommy, but mommy doesn't fit on a napkin. Tanaka likes ninja, but ninja hits Tanaka. I am living on his stomach now. Picture share is the ultimate because a picture is worth a thousand words. We speak. ( Three thousand words worth more... )

(Fall With Me) [10 Jun 2004|02:39am] I wish I had something to offer that wasn't broken damaged goods so to speak I wish I had something to offer that is better than what I have but I come empty handed you can take them if you'd like

(2 Fallen Snowflakes | Fall With Me) [09 Jun 2004|03:30am] [ mood | oyasumi ] [ music | Jewel - Angel Standing By ] So Life goes..."Here, Veronica. This is something good and beautiful. It's all for you. Take it." and then I go "Oh! How nice! Thank you so much!" and then Life shits all over it and hands it to me. Then Justin buys me dinner. The end. ( meme )

(1 Fallen Snowflake | Fall With Me) [08 Jun 2004|12:51pm] [ mood | five feet up ] [ music | Smashing Pumpkins - Soma ] Walking the fine line between concious and unconcious. I fell out of my body last night and went for a walk. My apartment is full of small shadows that live their little lives around me. They sink into the carpet to escape my gaze. The place has absorbed some memories. If these walls could speak. I walk through the rooms. I watch the memories play over. They flicker like an old movie on an old projector. Some overlap and create something new entirely. Some are not even mine. The voices are muffled as if my head is underwater. I'm not breathing anymore. Back to my body I am pulled. Crash landing. My eyes are open now and I can still see them. I lay on the floor of my living room. Small shadows sinking into the carpet. What are they doing here¿ I think I am losing my mind.

(8 Fallen Snowflakes | Fall With Me) What is in a name¿ [08 Jun 2004|02:10am] [ mood | ugh... ] [ music | Smashing Pumpkins - 1979 (Acoustic) ] "But I tell you, a cat needs a name, that’s particular, A name that’s peculiar, and more dignified, else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular" T.S. Eliot - Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats I am now the proud owner of two cats. Two...marvelously nameless cats. Cat #1 is the nice (psychotic) little black kitty I adopted upon moving into my own apartment. Despite many attempts to name her, she has staunchly refused every one of them (I don't blame her for some). So, usually she is just called "Cat". My most recent attempt at a name for her is "Chibi", but she doesn't seem to care for that one either. I really want to get the both of them some nice I.D. tags with their names and everything...but they don't have names. The new addition to my household is a light grey tabby with white boots and gloves. He and I are "We have the same eyecolour" buddies! Luke noticed that one. Brown on the outside, green in the middle. I wonder if his eyes change colours too. I've left the naming of this one to Luke...I am hoping he isn't serious about "Cat #2". The three of us took a nice nap on my living room floor. The two of them are still in the yowling and hissing stage of their relationship. It was pretty funny to have one by my shoulder and the other by my feet alternately sleeping and yowling. I think at some point it just became hissing for the sheer principle of it. Nap nap nap raise head "Hiss...I still don't like you." nap nap nap. I found a few pet name search databases...ah the wonders of the internet...but I am not finding anything I really like. Suggestions for the black cat are more than welcome. As I have mentioned she is black and psychotic. She was adopted from a man who built little houses for abandoned cats. He had named her something I can't remember and probably didn't like. The most standout of her qualities, to me, is the fact that she tends to try to do everything when I do. From sleeping to using the restroom. If I am doing it she wants to be doing it too. She is a bit violent when she gets excited. If you pet her a lot she gets really happy and bites your hand off. Her meow is what I like to call a "purriao". She has golden coloured eyes. She can act like a ninja. She likes rubberbands. Just sitting here and typing this all out has given me a few ideas even. Keep in mind that a name is something I will have to use often and should be something I wouldn't mind saying. Not that I think any of you would suggest some of the names my co-workers did. I am so hot even with the fan on. I need to go back to sleeping.

(Fall With Me) Staring into me [07 Jun 2004|02:04am] [ mood | contemplative ] [ music | Cowboy Bebop - Call Me Call Me ] It's been a while since I have had to fend off overwhelming depression. Things just don't seem so overwhelming anymore. Maybe they just whelm. Whelm at just the right level for me to deal with. Wouldn't that be nice. I am growing accostumed to kindness and good things. Hapiness isn't such a scary thing anymore. I threw myself to the winds for something like this. I am still realistic. Pessimistic. The closet optomist is sitting at the counter having tea. An odd kind of balance has been achieved. Precarious though it may be. I am working towards something because I am tired of holding myself back. Tired of denying myself. Tired of telling myself I am not worthy of any such things. I think that my friends relentlessly telling me that I am wrong may have helped me to actually start believing it. I am grateful. I should do the same. Because we are all worthy. No one should be allowed to believe otherwise. I am so much colder. I should turn off the a/c. I should sleep. I should dream. You should dream too.

(1 Fallen Snowflake | Fall With Me) [06 Jun 2004|02:04am] [ mood | ded ] [ music | Jewel - I'm Sensitive ] Oh my I am so tired....I don't know where I am anymore. I wonder where you are. My laundry calls. I think I am getting a kitten. Goodnight. ( Miko-sama, how could you!¿ )

(8 Fallen Snowflakes | Fall With Me) Nothing says "I love you" like rampant flatulence. [04 Jun 2004|06:07am] [ mood | Thursday! ] [ music | They Might Be Giants - Destination Moon ] Work was kinda really crap a bit. That is all I have to say about that. Fist of Legend makes me go "ooooOOOOoooo". Karaoke Thursday! Stay out too late Thursday! Jell-o shot with whipped cream Thursday! Writing lord only knows what on small bits of paper Thursday! I can't really sing Counting Crows Thursday! I don't like this blouse Thursday! I'm a psychic doodler that has a growing disappointment in bears Thursday! This is a cow Thursday! Omelerrito Thursday! I can balance a ketchup bottle on the handle of a syrup carrier and then stack four creamers on it Thursday! Observe! This is the end.

(4 Fallen Snowflakes | Fall With Me) Bunnies! [03 Jun 2004|12:21am] [ mood | torn ] [ music | Tales of Eternia - I'd Love You To Touch Me ] I sometimes don't know why I even bother. I won't let it bother. Won't let it bother me. All things included were good, be they something-yaki or hay-rides. Hyphen hyphen. It's the missing things that were not good. I am sure they would be. Given the chance. I doubt I'll have nightmares tonight. Higher levels of something. Startling realizations today made me so happy I could cry and so sad I could die. Talk of nursing homes made me laugh a bit much. A bit much. It seems a nice thing to hope for. To go daft like that. Hope for computerized hover-chairs is also a good thing. It's no trouble really. No trouble at all. Maybe, sometimes, but even then, no. I realize no one understands. Speaking in tongues. Not the creepy rolling on the floor babbling type. Not like that at all. Am I a good girl¿ This keyboard is so much kinder. I wonder why I want impossible things. Always impossible things. It's as if I really just want to make my life as much of a disappointment to myself as possible. Should I aim a little lower¿ I might pop the ball off the table, in that case. No, I aim high. I hit nothing. Such is life, such is life. Besides, impossible is always so much more attractive than being realistic. Dream with me, won't you¿ I'm a much better actress than she is. Much better by far. Less wobbly, for one. I know how to hold a knife. I know how to use one. Jumbled phrases dripping directly from my head to my fingers. I am leaking. Oh, it's a mess isn't it¿ Such is life, such is life. I compared myself to Virginia recently. Virginia minus the craziness and suicidal tendancies. It's not like that. Not like that at all. I feel silly. This is just how it goes. So it goes. Don't take me, seriously. I don't want to go. I'm lying. I want to be taken. No, not like that. At least I am taken with....if not taken by. That's how it always is with me anyway. I lose. The end.

(2 Fallen Snowflakes | Fall With Me) True Tales Of Human Drama! [02 Jun 2004|03:14am] [ mood | yeah, that's the spot ] [ music | They Might Be Giants - Destination Moon ] Or...completely not. I suppose I could try and make my day all sensational like the carpy Hollywood movie I saw this morning...but that would take a lot more effort than a concise re-cap. Cue re-cap episode scenario! Woke up in the morning, put on my new plastic glove. Served some re...wait, wrong persona. I woke up this morning and got myself a gun. Momma always said I'd be...no, that's not it. I woke up this morning. We'll go with that. Did the getting ready and leaving a post thing. Wore my new skirt to go see Day After Tomorrow...which is as uninteresting as it's name. Completely sensationalized movie with no surprises and nothing that jumps out at you as special. Just another near apocolypse/fury of nature/endurance of the human spirit-type-movie. Marvelously typical. I did, however, get two free sammiches out of it. Not to mention a cup of tea. So I think that is okei. I got taken along to this hobby shop where I ended up purchasing the Squee! compilation. I also saw some things I will need to go back for. I changed into something more festive and less pant-less for karaoke. I was so surprised and extremely pleased that Luke came and we met up with Justin. Justin brought Tristan (whom I adore) and Aaron (who is a really nifty guy). Aaron sang a Disney song with me~! I sang lots. As did Justin. Aaron sang three or four. I played pool with Luke and sucked beautifully. I was even worse at darts. It was lovely and fun. I really enjoyed my day off. And *gasp* I have another one! Days off is plural! That means, rather than have fun in a singular sense, I will be having fun in the plural sense. I should be sleeping since I want to wake up early. I hope you didn't get yelled at too badly.

(1 Fallen Snowflake | Fall With Me) [01 Jun 2004|08:48am] [ mood | 5 more minutes ] [ music | Ulfuls - Osaka Strut ] Caught in a landslide on the peak of a two dimensional mountain. I asked help of a black squirrel who seemed to be particularly irate about not being red. Eventually he told me that I was going to die anyway so it shouldn't matter too much if I was buried alive on the side of the mountain. "But this isn't even a pretty mountain." said I "In fact, it is a particularly unattractive one. I can't be buried here." Tokens from the arcade got me to a tunnel. The tunnel got me to a grocery store with the Otoko where we discussed various brands of alcohol but did not buy any. Eventually we got kicked out for stealing donuts, even though the donuts were free and said "Take one". That'll teach us to read signs written in Swahili. I don't know where Otoko got that "Swahili In Three Minutes" book..but it was very informative. I learned how to say "My pants are on fire." and "Yes, I would like a lollipop." It did not tell me how to say Godzilla was eating my Mitsubishi...but that's okei because I can say it in Japanese. Which we all know is the only language Godzilla understands. Otoko and I went to find everyone for a picnic but we got separated. I ended up in a crowded bar where I elbowed a very large man. The man turned out to be a transvestite. We talked of shoes and he really liked my blouse. We went out for coffee but there was no coffee in the coffee shop, only spam...which is hardly good in liquid form. My mind took a wrong turn on Big Creek Parkway and I ended up in a darker portion of my conciousness. There I met briefly with Eli and Luke, who were in my apartment ravaging it because they wanted something. I kept trying to find out what it was so that I could just give it to them. Eventually I locked myself in the bathroom and I burned it down. Knowing how to say "My pants are on fire." in Swahili would have been a clever thing to show off if I weren't dying. And if I were wearing pants. Good thing I woke up before anyone who wasn't me was burned to a crispiness. Too bad, it really was a cute blouse.

(Fall With Me) [31 May 2004|01:32pm] [ mood | eh, wha¿ ] [ music | Eight - Rhetorical (Urban Surge) ] I can barely move. My knee is swollen. I have to be at work at 3:45. I called in at BP today and told them I couldn't come in because I didn't feel well (completely true) and that I needed the time to rest before my actual job. If I had worked at BP till 3 and then walked to Roadhouse to be at work at 3:45 I would have died. As it is I don't know how I am going to make it. I'm glad I ate Mexican (or some kind of equivalent) yesterday. I'm glad I had half of yesterday. I am sad that there are no movies worth seeing. I want to win cake for life. I want flowers. I guess it's time for that getting ready thing. Drat.

(1 Fallen Snowflake | Fall With Me) Quiet, dear. I'm blooming within. [30 May 2004|08:30am] [ mood | shoot ] [ music | Coldplay - Clocks ] Water dripping down my back. Down along my skin. I have so much to say. No time, no time.

(2 Fallen Snowflakes | Fall With Me) [30 May 2004|12:53am] [ mood | no, thank you ] [ music | Eight - Brain Leash ] Dancing in a grass skirt to Beach Boys covers. Sing-a-long with precariously balanced salads. Ponytail holders all in a row. Tickle my ribs. Clean-up is a mess. Examination gloves for butter. Shot-glass synopsis of my life thus far is always a crowd pleaser. I revel in being as uninteresting as possible. Peanuts can't land in nonexistent cleavage. I miss you. Screaming head like never before. Kneecaps of d00m. Almost enough to bring tears to my eyes. In choosing the lesser of two evils, which is worse¿ Getting in the car with someone who just had a couple drafts...or walking home alone at this hour. I honestly can't tell. Take it away please. I should have eaten when I had the chance.

(2 Fallen Snowflakes | Fall With Me) [29 May 2004|02:30am] Tired of feeling tainted by these things. I want to be clean. I want to be free. All my happy moments are sullied with the unshakable shadow of depression. It is ridiculous. I hate it. Only my hatred of it keeps me from giving in. I think I need to go away. I am far enough away as it is. Why do I feel the need to run further¿ There is no point to it. I carry these things with me to the ends of the earth. Even into the sanctitude of dreams in the realms of unconciousness they go. Oh I don't want it I don't want it I don't want it. I need to go away and leave myself behind. I need to go.

(Fall With Me) [28 May 2004|10:35am] I saw it in the water small ribbons of scarlet so tired now but there is no place of rest limbs shaking and an unmistakable pressure burning in the back burning in the back of my throat ringing in my ears resounding through my head rebel against the tyrrany of fate on the rack feeling my body give I saw it the reason why now when everything is the easiest I have ever had it it is harder than it has ever been red ribbons red ribbons

(Fall With Me) I'm much better off the way things are... [28 May 2004|05:48am] [ mood | I droop ] [ music | Galaxy Chart Two - Pillow Dream ] I have unfinished business and one third of a sandwich. That was your song! The sun is coming up while the stars run for cover. They must feel the same way I do. Hypothetical situations aren't really something to dwell on anyway. I've had my fill of "what if" and it is time for some "what now". I don't need to explain myself. You must understand. I have a monkey. I also am now the proud owner of a hat. Will I ever be given a place to hang it¿ I am weary of being homeless. I am weary of feeling like a guest who has overstayed their welcome. I can be a hatrack too. Or a headrest. Or whatever there might be a need for. What do you need¿ One day I won't have to Wonder I won't have to Wander I won't

(Fall With Me) [27 May 2004|01:25pm] [ mood | ded ] [ music | Read or Die - Ending Theme ] So a while back Rei-chan stole some kind of The Soundtrack of Your Life meme from some kind of music community. In the replies to hers one of her friends altered some of them to better fit his life if it were a movie. So I took it and did the same. ( We are now pleased to bring you our feature presentation... )

(Fall With Me) Make just one someone happy [26 May 2004|03:27pm] [ mood | more upset than I let on ] [ music | Tori Amos - Happiness Is A Warm Gun ] I saw a child on the sidewalk stomping mercilessly on ants "Haha! You're not going anywhere now!" Stomp Stomp Stomp I felt compelled to look up but there was no foot there Still I feel crushed

(2 Fallen Snowflakes | Fall With Me) I'd rather live in an exclamation [26 May 2004|06:43am] [ mood | excuse me¿ ] [ music | Fiona Apple - Sullen Girl ] Days like this, I don't know what to do with myself... Shake off the dreams like water clinging to strands of tousled hair Paint a new face over the one given by God Wend my way through the hall I am missing a sock Is that funny¿

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