12:18pm 11/02/2003
 
mood: pleased
music: Tame - Pixies
haven't posted in awhile. i've been so busy. trying to feel better, which i am. catching up on school work due to my mental lull. i sat down and had a talk with my roommate. i told him that i wanted him to move out of the apt. he contributed nothing to it. never cleaned up after himself or anything else that would have been a collective effort. invited others to move in without disscussing it wih me. giving his keys out to random people and refuse to take into considerations my feelings on that matter. totally disregarded my concerns. and on top of all that, the lies. the lies he has told people about me. nothing worse than liars. well there is, but lying is one thing that pisses me the fuck off big time.

last one i heard, from a complete stranger no less, is that one night he walked into the apt. and caught me having sex on the living room couch with a 78year old man. and i had him handcuff to the couch. then when i realized my roommate walked in, i turned around and winked at him.

what an ass.
there's no way to handcuff anyone to that couch. plus, how would he know the dude was 78years old?
idiot.
i hope this dude was cute.
lol
he's a fucking idiot.

i confronted him about that. he told me that the girl that told me was crazy.
so is he.
thank goodness he's out.

ok so now, the guy that x-roomie invited to move in with us was gonna take over x-roomies share of the rent. we were getting along cause he didn't like my x-roommate either. i kept reminding him everyday about rent as the due date for rent was getting closer. always telling that he had it. so i'm like ok cool. rent date comes, i ask for his share. says it hasn't come through western union yet. might come the next day. i'm understanding cause i know how that could be. i come back from night school and he's walking out the door with a basket of clothing. doesn't tell me anything. and hasn't come back since.
i'm kicking him out too.
i'm tired of this shit.
if i wanted fuckin kids, i wouldda had some by now.
i don't feel i should be reminding people of thier responsiblities. i have enough trouble reminding myself of mine. it's rediculous.
i changed the locks this morning.
too bad for them.

give them an inch, huh
walked all over me.

fuck people.
 
     
my bloody valentine
 
   
12:45am 02/02/2003
  wow!
What i'm about to share is a thread on my online class about how there is "overexposure" of violence on the news. This was my professors response...
Author: Micheal Townsend
Date: Jan 31 2003 10:58AM
Subject: Re:Re:Re:Team One: Toula, Sean and Laurie
Message:
To a point, I definitely agree. 911 was a horrible tragedy, but how many times could they show the planes hitting the buildings. It was very annoying and made the tragedy appear to happen over and over again. Mt



THE most horrid tragedy to happen to the united states since pearl harbor was viewed as annoying.

Must be nice.
 
     
1 loveless| my bloody valentine
 
   
02:34am 31/01/2003
 
mood: ok
music: candiria baby!!!
Your score is
23/50
what does that mean?
Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful & practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest...Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over it if that trust is ever broken.
 
     
my bloody valentine
 
   
12:03am 31/01/2003
 
mood: whatever
music: forgive me - ::wumpscut::
stupid people make me stupid because i get angry at stupid people.

--some people hear thier own inner voices with great clearness, and they live by what they hear. such people become crazy but they become legend-- ( i don't know who says that, but it's on "Longing" by the ::wumpscut:: ) i also think, for some reason, that it's a clip from Natural Born Killers. hmmm

this dummy peers into my room and says, " hey, i've got the same computer as you do "
and i says, " perhaps "
and he says, " well they look the same "
and i says, dummy.
 
     
my bloody valentine
 
   
02:54am 30/01/2003
 
mood: blank
music: none
i think i'm feeling a little better. just a little. in a word, blank. i go bananas. i really do. it's just that in some occasions, i really don't know what to do. i become frantic. i start running from and for my life. like an animal, a pig who suddenly found out that he's next to be slaughtered. wild and empty. angry and alone. all emotional feeling, lost. vati is even annoyed. my mom thinks i'm mad at her. but i'm not and i don't want him to be either.

just a little better.
 
     
my bloody valentine
 
   
03:01am 26/01/2003
 
mood: so what
music: nine while nine
on another note, i finally got this bothersome tooth out. they didn't let me keep the tooth. they said it was a biohazard.

" but it wasn't a biohazard when it was in my mouth?!?"
- "it is now. sorry "
 
     
my bloody valentine
 
   
02:51am 26/01/2003
 
music: overground - siouxie
i don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. and this.THIS always happens. by this I mean, sitting here, contemplating my life, how I lead it. where I lead it, and how I deduce it goes nowhere. my next question is, where the fuck do I expect it to be? why do I feel like something is chasing me? or maybe I'm chasing it. maybe i'm afraid that when it, whatever "it" may be, catches up to me or when i catch up to it, i'm afraid i won't be at the point i should be. WHATEVER that point may be. i'm going insane! i AM insane. i am sick. i cannot find external simple pleasure without questioning it. i feel like i'm lying to myself if i didn't. i don't get it and maybe i don't want to get it. maybe, just maybe, i don't have to get it. however, i want to get it. again, whatever "it" may be.

"and i love to stand in jugdement of the mirror held before me" - .R.W.

this is painful.this pains me. this is a bully i harbor. this is the bully i've birthed. i also talk a lot of nonsense. this is all nonsense. i wish it was.

limbo
 
     
my bloody valentine
 
   
10:40pm 23/01/2003
 
mood: loved
music: Blitherspirit - The Garden
my tooth is coming out tomorrow. i cannot wait. it's been bothering me for far too long. fiend. the hole in my head is out. hahahaha
 
     
my bloody valentine
 
   
01:45am 22/01/2003
 
mood: confused
music: Every Little Thing She Does is Magic - Po Po
oh my god.
i'm sitting here doing wedding singer karaoke.
the life i lead.
i have no life.
sit on my ass. my fat ass at that. lol
i have a fat ass and you don't. i rock
skewd.
perhaps.

perhaps.
 
     
my bloody valentine
 
random   
12:44pm 16/01/2003
 
mood: okay
music: Wolfshiem
wow, i got so drunk last night. It was L. b-day and we [ L., E. and myself ] celebrated by drinking Sky lemon drops at his house then dropping by the BBT for wings, fags and Guiness. Even Mo stopped by. It was nice to see her. It was nice to see all these ppl actually. I woke up like 5 times this morning or at least attemped to, with massive amounts of drool excaping my mouth. hehe. I fully functionable now. <------ [ almost robotic,eh? ] lol. Had some coffee and a smoke. Breakfast of champions, eh?
Speaking of which, I gotta read that book. It's been highly recommended. Also, since I'm on the book subject. The book I'm reading now, House of Leaves, has had it's share of exciting commentary from various ppl I've talked about it to. Yesterday, my roommate saw it on my bed and regarded the book as amazing. However, I don't believe he ever read it or even know what it's about. hmmmm. I have this ever growing feeling, with circumstantial evidence, that my roommate is a liar. sigh. Sometimes, a lot of things don't add up.

ANYWAYS...
Wesley Willis is coming! Wesley Willis is coming!
This coming monday.
word.
I'm so there.

I made a new icon this morning while waking out of my drooling mess.
I should hit my online class.
 
     
my bloody valentine
 
   
01:13am 15/01/2003
 
mood: accomplished
music: What's Beef - Notorious B.I.G
I did my exercise routine today. Acutally not too long ago. First I did some yoga then a belly dance video for fitness. I must admit I was outta breath. I haven't worked out in a long time. But I feel good.
Lots of water.
Good, healthy food.
I had a Orange Pineapple Slimfast for breakfast. Those are real yummy.
All in all, I had a good day.
I hope you all did too.
 
     
my bloody valentine
 
why don't you go suck a fuck you fuck ass   
07:20pm 12/01/2003
 
mood: discontent
music: Everybody wants to rule the World - Tears for Fears
Love Donnie Darko
anyways

so much stuff has been going on since i've come back home. i feel like i've been disrespected. i've had to put a lock on my room door solely because my roommate trusts way too many ppl. ppl come in and outta the house constantly. a bunch of ill looking drag queens. why can't some bois just realize that they don't look anywhere near a woman, let alone a goof looking one. sigh. i've been contemplating moving back on my own. maybe i'm just being overly paranoid, but i really don't think so. i take my meds damnit! lol
i don't know. i'll see how things progress throughout the year.
 
     
my bloody valentine
 
   
04:00am 12/01/2003
 
I CAN"T BELIEVE HE"S GAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
     
my bloody valentine
 
Ahhhh Sweet Jeff   
01:58am 12/01/2003
 
mood: clean
music: Jeff "sweet, sweet" Buckley



Take the What Should Your New Year's Resolution Be? Quiz

 
     
my bloody valentine
 
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL   
03:08am 04/01/2003
 
mood: cheerful
HOT FUCKKIN DOG!!!
I GOT IT TO WORK!!!!
 
     
my bloody valentine
 
some say prayers. some say prayers   
02:52am 03/01/2003
 
mood: crappy
music: Dominion/Mother Russia - you should know dammit!
i say mine.

sigh
i have yet to take my meds tonight.

S.is coming over with the baby later today. then i'll be heading back down to ny with her for the weekend. i haven't been back "home" for over a year.
"home"
 
     
my bloody valentine
 
   
01:02am 01/01/2003
 
mood: drunk
music: rsa
what will ir be,
name your poison
you can be anything you want.
you can be anything you want.

Babylon 5
it's where it's happening
 
     
my bloody valentine
 
   
12:58am 01/01/2003
 
mood: drunk
music: RSA
merry new year
 
     
my bloody valentine
 
   
05:17pm 31/12/2002
  i'm getting drunk right now.
i don't think i want to be aware of things.
i can't wait till tomorrow.
 
     
my bloody valentine
 
   
10:45pm 30/12/2002
 
mood: crappy
I just watched LOTR for the 11th time. i think i might need some help. the day before i watched The Hobbit and Return of the King, and the day before that i watched The Two Towers.

i just also finished watching, Zoolander.
i am offically stupider than i once was.
 
     
my bloody valentine