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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
Ophelia's LiveJournal:
| Wednesday, August 22nd, 2001 | |
| 2:54 am | I know this sucks I tried once to escape This mental situation I tried to make believe You would just fade away Constant reminders I heard your voice today I wish I had a place To dump this excess hate I want to watch you suffer Watch you fall down Wait til you can stand And kick you down again For all the pain you Never realized If I could kill you maybe I could move on I've never wanted Something so bad I've never been this Preoccupied with death I can stare into the flame To try to burn you out My eyes can still feel The coldness of your heart ..... Current Mood:  sleepy |
| Tuesday, August 7th, 2001 | |
| 12:32 am | I know this girl who is so confusing... she's so full of herself and thinks she's so cool- like she calls herself a Goddess and flirts with guys to get what she wants... but then she gets mad when guys want her for her body. It's like, ummm sweety you use your body, not your mind, whenever you're around people what do you expect? She does other annoying things too I just don't feel like typing anymore, I've worked all day and am damn tired, but I thought I'd give anyone who cares to read an update. Current Mood: exhaustedCurrent Music: Superdrag - Sucked Out |
| Tuesday, July 24th, 2001 | |
| 2:53 am | Just ... shut ... up!!!!!! I am annoyed to the point of snapping and breaking tables over someone's head. They are making the most disgusting noise EVER in their sleep, and I am ready to kill them if they don't stop. On another note, I am not capable of having a deep thought right now, I realize this. It's impossible... I think because for the most part, I'm happy. Funny I actually use my brain when I'm sad. Or maybe I'm only sad when I use my brain. I just chucked a pen near my dog, this scared her and she got up and made a lot of noise. The snoring was temporarily interupted. I'm going to bed before I throw the dog herself. And no, I would not actually hurt my dog. Current Mood:  annoyed |
| Thursday, July 12th, 2001 | |
| 1:47 pm | Wow... Everyone's having birthdays lately. Happy birthday, Dex, hope this turns out to be a good year. |
| Wednesday, July 11th, 2001 | |
| 4:36 pm | Haaaaaaa- aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaappy birthday ANGEL 13!!!! |
| Sunday, July 8th, 2001 | |
| 1:26 am | Still writing bad poetry.... Hey everyone. Does anyone have any opinions on opium?? Thought I'd ask. Anyway below is another poem/lyrics/whatever... any comments are appreciated. PIECES Dream a little longer Stand a little stronger Cry a little softer You can make it though One more empty evening No time for deeper meaning One last cigarette and then you Force yourself to sleep again Every waking moment Drowning in the torment Dying slowly but I Guess it all works out Dare to lift your head up Ignore the smudge of make-up Left upon your pillow Dry your face and rise again Coz I know There's something in you Something worth Holding on to If you'll let me reach you Give me a change to teach you Take the pieces of me And fix the pieces of you Day break's just something broken A promise softly spoken Never kept but then Who was keeping score? If I will fly beside you And watch the waves behind you If I will be there will you Give me a little more? I know your mind is tired Once free but long expired Your hands are older than They were the day before But now there's time to erase Another rainbow to chase Another cloud to catch A million ways to soar Coz I know There's something in you Something worth Holding on to If you'll let me reach you Give me a change to teach you Take the pieces of me And fix the pieces of you Current Mood:  content |
| Monday, July 2nd, 2001 | |
| 1:05 am | And no one comes around here no more... This is something I was working on, I know there should be more but I can't think of what should come next. Somebody say something about it, let me know if it sucks, rocks, or what. Like a dream Transparency Deficiency You show me as The weak link that I am Then you hold me Delete the pain Call out my name I never want to be awake again Control me You've made it clear to me that I can Never really be the one To make you bleed To make you taste the danger The corruption The perfection, the explosion Help me please I cannot bear To let you go again Inside my head We run together Inside my head We are as one Below the skin I feel you in me Alone I dream We are as one Current Mood: drained |
| Sunday, June 24th, 2001 | |
| 12:53 am | Poor kitty. 6 hour shifts suck!!! My feet are tired as all hell, and people were such jerks tonight. I should get paid more for bitchy people or something. Anyway... one of (J)'s cats died =( It's legs got cut off or something traumatic and sick. =( (L) got 2 puppies though, I can't wait to see them, hopefully tomorrow. Monday is (J)'s and my 2 month anniversary, yay us! I hope I get presents or something LOL. Current Mood: exhausted |
| Tuesday, June 19th, 2001 | |
| 11:10 am | I'm still really sore and I don't want to go to work today for 8 hours. I'm just going to picture Ronna from the movie Go gimping in to work after she was hit by a car. Other responsible people go to work every day, and a lot of them have shit jobs like me, and a lot of them get hurt and tired too, so I'm going to stop whining and bitching like a lazy stoner and get ready to sell my soul to Wal-mart. |
| Sunday, June 17th, 2001 | |
| 11:35 am | FUCK EVERYTHING! So yeah... here's the shitty breakdown. Friday even though I was sick I got up early coz I wanted to go to Ozzfest... on the drive there we got pulled over for speeding, then we passed the hotel which was like THREE HOURS from Sommerset, where we went to Floatrite Park... which went fine til we got to the end of the ride and I couldn't stop... trying to get out of the water I got pulled about 20 feet down the river, hurt like hell being drug across sharp little rocks. We started driving again, I thought to the hotel coz I was in lots of pain, but NO we drove the opposite direction to drop (T) off in Minneapolis so she could spend the night with some guy she wanted to fuck... oh by the way no one had eaten since like 6 A.M. coz they couldn't stop for food... they had no problem stopping at Hot Topic though, bastards... In the end Bud took some wrong turns and we finally got to our shit ass motel (the shittiest one in town... like we couldn't have gotten any closer than 3 hours away??) and ordered a pizza around 10:30. The next day I'm still cut up and sick as hell, so NO OZZFEST FOR ME! FUCKERS! So (J) brought me home, we got a flat tired half way and had to drive 50 mph all the way back which added like an hour onto our trip, by the time I got here I had to throw up... my weekend has sucked more than any other weekend so far in the past 10 years... My friends SUCK, I've wasted all of my money for nothing... yeah everything just blows ass basically. If (Er) even *tries* to tell me how good the concert was, I'm gonna smack her so hard her little brain falls out. Current Mood: sick, sunburnt, pissed off... |
| Thursday, June 14th, 2001 | |
| 1:53 pm | BLAH! Yesterday everything was going fine and then all of the sudden around 7 I got SO sick. First I got the chills and was shaking like crazy... I tried to sleep but ended up with a really bad fever. I tried to sleep but I didn't get much rest, and today I still feel hot (even though I'm right in front of the air conditioner) and I'm dizzy as all hell. I HAVE to get better, like right NOW, because tomorrow I leave for Ozzfest on Saturday. I am really beginning to think God hates me. Current Mood: sick |
| Tuesday, June 12th, 2001 | |
| 12:38 pm | Fuck you. God last night sucked... I should have just gone to work, but I called in sick so I could hang out with people. Went to (L)'s house for a while, then hung out with (J) and (G) the rest of the night, saw evolution which (G) bitched about all the way through. Drove around and somehow in the front seat (I was in the back alone) the conversation turned to when they could hang out, planned around when (J) was gonna fuck me... so fuck them. Pissed me off royally, I had them take me back to my car early, and I cried all the way home. Maybe I'm over reacting, fine, but you don't have to talk about me like some cheap fuck while I'm in the car, or ever for that matter. Today (J)'s all wah wah wah it was all him I just meant I wanted to hang out with you... but he never JUST hangs out with me anymore, and yeah everything was fine 'til I suddenly became a task to schedule in somewhere. I miss (L) but whenever I see her there's always someone else around and I can't really talk to her. I have to go to work tonight and I really don't want to but since I WASTED my night last night I can't call and lie again. "Between guys with wings, guys falling out of the sky, and guys trying like hell to FUCK ME..." or something like that. Ugh. Current Mood: cheap Current Music: Hole - Asking For It |
| Friday, June 8th, 2001 | |
| 12:07 pm | Haven't written in a few days, oops... Not too much has happened. Wednesday me and (L) needed to hang out, and when we ran out of ideas (A) called her and so me, her, her brother, and (J)went out to some people's apartment and got drunk, well not (J) coz he was designated dork. We played some drinking games and I was drunker than all hell, then (L) remembered she'd told (A)she was going to go to some party w/ him, so me and (J) went and hung out with (G) and (Ja), went to Super Target to piss Psycho off but she wasn't there, went swimming and to Perkins, then (J) spent the night and I went to sleep sometime around 7 A.M. It was quite fun. Yep Yep. Thursday I slept til 3, got up and went driving around with (J), we had like a really good talk, it was awesome. Today I get to go slave away for Wal-mart, ick. I want to see Tomb Raider! I am so in love with Angelina Jolie... yeah I know like everyone and their uncle loves her, but still I think she rocks. I've been waiting more than a year to see this movie, since I first heard she was being considered for the part. She'll make an awesome Lara, at least I think she's got the looks down, and I'm sorry but the game character doesn't have too much of a personality so yeah, Angelina can pull it off good. She's gonna have a British accent, turn me on. Grrrrowl. Haha! I'll shut up now... Current Mood:  hyperCurrent Music: U2 - Elevation |
| Monday, June 4th, 2001 | |
| 1:16 pm | Why must I feel this way? I am in a totally pissy ass mood today. Got up and went and saw (J) for like 2 hours, instead of staying with him tonight, he has to go pick up his impounded car and I've got nothing to do. (L) is going w/ (A) to do acid for the first time, go her I guess. I don't want her to, mostly because every time she does something new I feel like I lose another piece of her. First she was my friend, then she was my alcoholic friend, then she became my stoner friend, and now she's with (A) non-stop and I just watch her drift away from me. I got some sticker books coz I thought me and her could hang out, get baked and play with stickers... I know I'm probably the only loser who would find that fun. I was just remembering last year we went to Wal-mart at like, 1 A.M. and bought coloring books and we just sat and talked all night. ::sigh:: I gotta learn to be content with what I have. I might go to a baseball game to see one of my friends that I haven't talked to since graduation, but it's not like he'll have time to talk to me coz he's pitching tonight. I dunno... I don't work again til Friday but I already feel like my week is wasted. I'm going to attempt to sew right now... and maybe go shopping later, get some new clothes, that might cheer me up. Current Mood: grumpy |
| Sunday, June 3rd, 2001 | |
| 9:26 pm | No, nope, nuh-uh. "You could love me if you tried," She whispered in my ear. "I could kill you now!" she cried, A single careless tear. A day for every lie she told- A million years to borrow. A day for every lie she sold- A million years of sorrow. I could kill her if I wanted, If only it would kill the pain. I couldn't love her if I had to, I wish she would just go away. Current Mood:  discontentCurrent Music: Coal Chamber - Sway |
| Friday, June 1st, 2001 | |
| 5:47 pm | Since I was born I started to decay, now nothing ever ever goes my way. My friends piss me the fuck off. How is it I always get elected to get SHIT ON? First I'm out numbered on the movie, I get stuck seeing The Animal, which I so don't want to waste my hard earned money on. Like they have any fucking clue what it means to EARN money, fucking losers. Since they have no jobs, meaning no cash, they also expect me to drive them... and also to Rocky Horror AFTER the movie, where I SO don't want to go... but if I say no they'll get pissed, fucking assholes... I worked for an hour this morning making open house invites for Mike and he's like, "Oh I don't need them anymore I just figured you weren't going to do it and got some of my own." So I'm like, "Ok I wasted an hour of my time for nothing," And he goes all baby fit "No now she's pissed at me for no fucking reason wah wah wah wah" it's just like, I was trying to help your stupid ass, grow the fuck up! I HATE PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Current Mood: pissed offCurrent Music: Placebo - Hang On To Your IQ |
| 12:32 am | You could love me, if you tried. ::Sigh:: It's been a while since I've been this bored. There's some feminist shit (No offense to feminists in general, these ones are annoying the fuck out of me.) on TV where these ugly middle aged women keep WHINING and complaining, and telling me how to raise my hypothetical children to understand the equality of women... to them I say SUCK MINE! Ok maybe that was uncalled for... I can't wait for tomorrow, even though it's going to be a long day... followed by a weekend of working, yay. My beloved (J) assures me that he enjoys being cut, I was nervous about it before... he told me he liked blood and so I offered myself as a sacrifice, but I enjoy inflicting pain a lot more than taking it. Then last night I slit his arm with a razor blade a few times, and watched the blood swell up from inside the cut, then tilted his arm to let it run before I licked it up. I loved it. So did he. His arms look like hell because I've bit them so many times, his mother is going to hate me. Life is good, and tomorrow, even though the whole cemetery thing is *so cliché*, I'm gonna have some mad kinky fun. On an unrelated note, does anyone know where I could find some awesome flash or pics of tattoos? I'm looking specifically for hearts or angels. I'd appreciate any links or if anyone wants to E-mail me pictures it's AngelsForsaken@AOL.com; make sure you put something like "Tattoos from Live Journal" for the subject just so I know it's safe to open. Current Mood: boredCurrent Music: NIN - The Downward Spiral |
| Thursday, May 31st, 2001 | |
| 7:29 pm | Welcome to wal-mart can I shove your merchandise up your ass??? I am SO sick of people thinking that I own Wal-mart, or wrote the software for the registers, and all that fun stuff? It's so annoying when people bitch at me for shit I have no control over! Everyone out there, when you go to stores, if there's a problem at the checkout, DON'T TAKE IT OUT ON THE CASHIER!!! Current Mood: tiredCurrent Music: A Wal-mart commercial on TV, oh the irony. |
| Wednesday, May 30th, 2001 | |
| 11:35 am | Happy Birthday Diamond!!! |
| Tuesday, May 29th, 2001 | |
| 4:06 pm | Iowa, is that in Canada? Sitting here bored waiting for (J) and (L) to show up ... here's an IM I got that made me bust out laughing. thegame5878: hi thegame5878: what up Angel Six 666: Nothing, you? thegame5878: nothing thegame5878: a/s/l Angel Six 666: 18/F/Iowa thegame5878: cool thegame5878: is that in the us Angel Six 666: Are you serious? thegame5878: yeah thegame5878: y Angel Six 666: Because I could name all 50 states when I was 10... thegame5878: so Angel Six 666: So you're 17 and you don't know that Iowa is in the U.S.? thegame5878: so what thegame5878: sorry for asking After I blocked him, he warned me. Ooh I'm hurt... hahahahaha! Seriously though, don't most people at least know Iowa as that corn-and-cow-hick-state stereotype, if nothing else? Maybe I am too harsh, but I doubt it. Current Mood: amusedCurrent Music: Garbage - Stupid Girl |