[

mood

|

amused

]

Postatem obscuri lateris nescitis.
"You do not know the power of the Dark
Side." There are two possibilities: you
are a Star Wars geek, or you are unreasoningly
scary.


Which Weird Latin Phrase Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

[	mood	|	bored	]
[	music	|	Slipknot-Tori	]

Current Clothes: Underwear, tie-dye red and white t-shirt, black cargo pants, red NY hoodie, bracelets and necklace (multicoloured beads).
Current Jewelery: Oops. See above.
Current Mood: Okay. Hoping they give us a half day on this course again!
Current Music: Tori Amos, Strange
Current Taste: Airwaves chewing gum…mmm…
Current Hair: Blood red, spiked and slightly in need of a shower.
Current Annoyance: The boringness of this course so far (how to point and click…zzz)
Current Smell: the chewing gum
Current thing I ought to be doing: Reading notes about…something? I dunno.
Current Desktop Picture: a cool hippie van, heh
Current Favorite Artist: Tori Amos, Counting Crows
Current Favorite Group: Hmm…Counting Crows?
Current Book: ‘A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius’ by Dave Eggars
Current Movie in DVD player: Nothing. My DVD player’s in my ‘puter which is at my PU’s house.
Current Color Of Toenails: Probably yellow/white. Ugh.
Current Refreshment: Chewing gum.
Current Worry: That we won’t get a half day today, and I’ll decay in this smelly computer room devoid of any amusement whatsoever.
Current Crush: None. I is not looking for anyone else!!!
Current Favorite Celebrity: I hate them all.

APPEARANCE
- hair: Blah.
- height: 5’3”
- weight: I don’t give a fluff.
- favorite feature: Ehm…probably my legs, after thorough convincing! Apparantly they’re really toned (which I should hope for, considering what I did to them..!) and stuff.
- least favorite feature: my cheeks.

STYLE
- clothing: Not too casual anymore. Casual for me used to mean I-feel-shit-about-myself-so-why-bother-dressing-nice, so I only wear tracksuits now when they’re practical. I feel better about me, so therefore I wear nicer clothes. It’s strange.
- music: Rock, metal and sometimes alt.
- makeup: None usually, but when I feel like it I slap on some mascara, eyeliner and lip gloss.
- body art: Only the scars, and they don’t count as art anymore.
- shoes: I usually wear heavy, flat black Wrangler shoes or my multicoloured runners.

RIGHT NOW
- wearing: see above
- music: also see above.
- thinking of: Quentin, partner/lover/boyfriend extraordinaire. I miss him.
- feeling: Slightly bored, eyes sore from typing etc. Usual.

LAST THING YOU...
- bought: Orange Lucozade.
- did: Drank from the bottle.
- read: A stupid exercise for typing programs.
- watched on tv: Family Guy.

EITHER / OR
- club or houseparty: House.
- tea or coffee: Tea with soya milk…mmm…
- high achiever or easy-going: If you don’t get really stress about things, you tend to do your best rather than force yourself to reach other peoples’ expectations or your own unrealistic ones. I find a relaxed, but focused on realistic goals, attitude, works best for me.
- cats or dogs: miaow!
- pen or pencil: Pen.
- gloves or mittens: Gloves.
- cassette or cd: Cds.
- snuff or cigarettes: Either, sometimes. But I prefer cigarettes nowadays.
- coke or pepsi: Pepsi, but mostly I have to settles for Coke ‘cause they don’t sell Pepsi everywhere in Arklow.
- matches or a lighter: Lighter. Quentin got me a Zippo a few weeks ago, it rocks!
- sunset beach or the bold and the beautiful: Mleh?

WHO DO YOU WANT TO...
- kill: A few choice teachers from secondary school, the odd bully…but truthbe told, I’m not that bothered about them now. I used to hate them, now I just see them as the useless brain-sponges they are and move on.
- hear from: Quentin, my parents.
- look like: i only know how to look like myself. i can't look like anyone else, so why would i want to? (nicely said)
- be like: see above, replace "look" with "like"

FAVORITE
- food: Potato wedges with brown sauce! Vegetarian lasagne!
- drink: Vanilla malts from American food places, they are DELISH!!! Also adore tea, no sugar and a few drops of soya milk. Alcoholic drinks-‘Brain Haemorrhage’ shots, or Crème du Menthe, or maybe even the odd G and T.
- color: Black, multicoloured and Red.
- shoes: Anything strappy and black and shiny…mmm.
- site: Anything interesting.
- song: It changes day-to-day, currently it’s “Sick” by Slipknot.
- vegetable: potato.
- fruit: Bananas!

LAST TIME..
- last movie you saw: Jungle Book 2, heh.
- last movie you saw on the big screen: See above.
- last thing you had to drink: Lucozade.
- last thing you ate: Curry chips.
- last time you cried: Around four, five days ago.
- last time you smiled: Five minutes ago.
- last time you laughed: See above. I can multitask !!!
- last time you danced: Aaaages ago.
- last person you hugged: Quentin.
- last thing you said: See you.
- last person you talked to online: Can’t remember.
- last thing you smelled: The stinking toilets they never clean up here. Yukky.

DO YOU...?
- smoke: Yes. No. Yes. I’m confused about it, but basically a part of me wants to stop and another wants to say ’fuckit’ and enjoy life while we have it.
- do drugs: Mainly no, but sometimes yes.
- sleep with a stuffie: No, I have Quentin for snuggles…mm.
- have a dream that keeps coming back: Yes, ones where I’m under my bed and I can see something awful looking around the house, hunting for me, and I wait for hesheit to find me and kill me…but I always wake up before they see me.
- play an instrument: I want to.
- believe there is life on other planets: Mleh.
- read the newspaper: Only the Sunday paper.
- have any gay or lesbian friends: A few.
- believe in miracles: No.
- believe it's possible to remain faithful forever: Yes.
- consider yourself tolerant of others: Mostly.
- consider police a friend or foe: Foe.
- like the taste of alcohol: It’s yummy, but only certain drinks. I’m a fussy drinker.
- have a favorite Stooge: Meh?
- believe in astrology: Only if my horoscope says something nice, heh.
believe in magic: Sometimes
- go to church: i think i'd catch fire.
- have any secrets: indeed.
- have any pets: two cats, one gerbil, all at my ‘rents house.
- go to or plan to go to college: No.
- have a degree: Nope.
- talk to strangers who instant message you:Never happened.
- wear hats: Only when it’s raining.
- have any piercings: Yes, several.
- have any tattoos: not yet.
- hate yourself: Only when I’m being stupid or unreasonable.
- wish on stars: Nah.
- like your handwriting: It’s okay, yes.
- believe in witches: As in Wiccans? Of course, I used to consider myself one.
- believe in Satan: Nope.
- believe in ghosts: Nope.
- trust others easily: Nope.
- like sarcasm: No, but I find myself being hypocritical because I hate people being sarcastic to me and yet I can be a sarcastic bitch sometimes. Mleh.
- take walks in the rain: It’s nice, but only with a HUGE umbrella and someone you lurrve.
- kiss with your eyes closed: Most of the time, unless I’m being cheeky.
- sing in the shower: When I’m really happy, I do.

[	mood	|	jubilant	]
[	music	|	'Taxi Ride' Tori Amos	]

'This thing you call Love,
She smiles way too much, but
I'm glad you're on my side...'

Well, it's drizzling quietly outside and every once ina while the sunshine permeates through. I love these sort of days, they make you appreciate existence that little bit more. Miaow.
Quentin had work last night, so I was just getting up (reluctantly...don't you just hate when you want to stay asleep but you really need to pee?!) as he was coming in. So, I made us a pot of tae and some cereal.We sat in bed discussing everything and anything, then I got a shower while he settled into a deep sleep.
I bought myself a cool Gilette Venus set, some multicoloured bracelets and necklaces () and vanilla body lotion. That's the amazing thing I keep experiencing lately...I haven't felt like buying myself anything nice in YONKS, simply because I always dress the way I feel about myself. If I'm feeling crappy and lonely etc, I wear scruffy and dull clothes. I never wore jewelery, and definitely never perfume.
Now here I am, in the internet cafe, sipping mocha coffee and covered in bright stuff. It's...nice. I mean, I don't suddenly think 'Oh wow, I'm so gorgeous I think I'll blow a hundred euros on myself!'. Not at all. It's just that I now recognise the need for some non-sick-me clothes, and a few small accessories every now and then.
I'm going to my parents' house after this, haven't spoken to them for a few days now and I miss them a good bit. Joanne, my 14 year old sister extaudinaire, wants a loan of my discman for Scouts Camp this weekend. Plus, I fancy a chat with everyone. Only problem is, my ex Baz will no doubt be hanging around the place with his dr uggie friends and wanting a fight. Someone ratted on me and Quentin to him, not that it's any of his blo ody business or anything. I'd broken up with him before I met Quentin, so he can just take his nose out of my life Right Now. The other day, he and his scummy friends actually had the cheek to follow me over the bridge as I was returning from my parents' to our house. I was alone, it was getting dark, and I was scared 'cause I don't want hime knowing where I'm living now. That'd just create hassle. I just want him to bleep off! :\
Oh well, fluff it. He'll get bored of being an eejit sooner or later.
My musical tastes have evolved alongside my mentality, by the way. I used to listen to nothing but Slipknot and Korn and all rawr-rawr stuff y'know, but now I've gotten REALLY into Tori Amos and Counting Crows and only occasionall Slipknot/Korn. I still like some of their stuff, 'cause the guitar and drumming in their stuff is fluffing excellent, but it's not reflecting my thoughts and frame of mind any more. Which is a Good Thing.
Can't wait til my ECDL course starts on Monday, am a bit nervous about travelling up and down to Dublin daily on my own but I'll be okay. Just need to relax into it. I'm sure this'll be a piece of cake, 'cause my uncle who knew just basic 'puter handling found it snore-worthy. I'm lookin g forward to it, though, because it'll do my CV a lot of good.
I want a decent, 9 to 5 job that pays well. Working nights is fun sometimes, but the pay doesn't make the sh it nights worth their beans. Besides, nights are very unsociable when your boyfriend doesn't work them too. I just happened to be lucky.
I feel, in fact, the luckiest woman on this Earth.
Gods, it's good to be back.

[	mood	|	gloomy	]
[	music	|	Incy, Wincey Spider went up the water spout...	]

Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

I have a bio exam in less than 5 hours.
Someone please remind me I'm alive?
And why?
Fuckit.

[	mood	|	aggravated	]
[	music	|	Tool-"Life feeds on life, feeds on life, feeds on life..."	]

Okay, after making the effort to come into college what do I find out? It's the feckin open day and we've no lectures. Fan-fucking-tastic.
I have a biology exam this week, then maths and earth science next week, so after a lengthly discussion with Mam and myselves I've decided I have to eat enough to concentrate. Which is more than posrridge, which is scary, which is necessary...Yeah, keep on reminding yourself of that lazy bitch...
I can't fail these exams, they account for 30% of the overall marks. I can't.
Why is everything a conflict?!?

[	mood	|	guilty	]
[	music	|	voice in head:youshouldbeinlectures!!!	]

What fantasy movie are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

What Cartoon Will I Lose My Cartoon Virginity To? She-Ra (She-Ra / Masters Of The Universe): The amazon-like yet cute sister of He-Man. Although she is oddly petite she is capable of crushing someones cartoon skull using only her cartoon thumb. Best to do what she tells you to; she has a fiery temper. What Cartoon Will I Lose My Cartoon Virginity To?

[	mood	|	mischievous	]
[	music	|	"The Hollow"-A Perfect Circle	]

Run, desire, run this sexual being
run him like a blade to & through the heart
no conscience, one motive...
to cater to the hollow.
screaming
feed me, fill me up again.
temporarily pacify this hungering.
so, grow, libido, throw dominoes of
indiscretions down.
falling all around in cycles/circles.
constantly consuming.
conquer and devour.
it's time to bring this fire down.
bridle all this indiscretion
long enough to edify and
permanently fill this hollow.
feed me, fill me up again.
temporarily pacify this hungering...
--=--
Once again, I was first finished in my Earth Science practical. We studied rock samples under a microscope, and had to distinguish between te different minerals present.
(zzz)
The weekend went well.
I arrived home earlier than I'd planned, on Thursday night, because of a protest thingy which got underway that afternoon. Apparantly, the college fees are rising and we may have to pay a lot more than we do now in the next few years.
And so, to show my support, I fucked off home. Hah.
My Mam's got a really bad infection, on her lungs. I wished I could've stayed there and minded her for a bit longer, mabe even took over minding the little ones while she recovered, but she was adamant that I return as scheduled on Sunday morning.
"I'm not letting you avoid college just so you can mother me-besides, you're sicker than I am. I should be the one putting you on bed-est!"
So here I am, back in Galway freezing and ina way glad.
I wanted to stay at home, and do what any good daughter would, but a part of me cried whenever I prepared to suggest it. It would've meant staying home longer, essentially surrounding myself with people who knew I'd stick to my routines unless pestered. They wouldn't force me to eat, not physically, but I feel so guilty when they bring it up...they made me promise to eat properly if I wanted to stay in college, and although I think I am they definitely don't agree.
Well, that is to say, they wouldn't agree if they knew about it. As far as they're concerned, I eat a nutricious meal three times daily. Breakfast, lunch dinner...hmm, well I suppose I do have those...
Breakfast? Porridge (I've decided to cut back on it, though. Less than the recommended portion, made with more water instead. If I could have nothing at daybreak, without ruining my metabolism, I would. I hate eating in the mornings most of all, beacause that's when I feel lightest. I taint my skeleton at the table, and it stings.)
Lunch?Black coffee, in college. No water weight to encourage frowns at the weekend's weigh-in session.
Dinner?Kiwi! (Well, this week anyway. I alternate my fruit dinners. Last week it was apples, week before was cranberry juice, etc.)
See, Mam? Three meals.
I've to meet Olga ina few minutes, we're walking to the bus station together and heading 'home'. I miss my real home already, even though there's so much pressure surrounding my being there. I wish I could be there experience all the warmth of family life, and yet not be noticed enough to be forced into eating.
I don't ask for much, now do I? :|
I think I'll buy a magazine on the way to the station, a fitness one. I borrowed "Wasted" from the college library this afternoon, looking forward to reading it tonight. I also have "The Clan of the Cave Bear" to finish. Perhaps I'll ask for the second book in the series for Yule. Hmm.
I also borrowed the complete works of Emly Dickenson, and a book on Druid belief systems. I've planned a little totem animal meditation for late tonight, I don't know why..it just struck me that I missed things like that. I miss the non-physical aspectsof my 'life'.
Have to limit myself to an hour, though. That's a long time sitting down, doing nothing to keep my metabolsm up. My weight is improving gardually.
Depending on your perspective, of course.

[	mood	|	blank	]
[	music	|	"Ana's Song"-Silverchair	]

The continuation of the survey I started in computer class...
-(yawn)-
WHAT DO YOU THINK? (PUT WHAT FIRST COMES TO MIND WHEN YOU SEE THE FOLLOWING WORDS:)
75.Glass: blood
76.Shake: milk-shake, ick.
77.Club: those annoyingly loud places people go to get pissed and find lust.
78.Sing: Lisa.
79.Loud: arguments
80.Garcia: who? Sounds Italian.
81.Hair: spikes.
82.Ching: chi-chinnng! :P)
83.Money: needneedneed
84.Work: also needed at the moment
85.Play: Kitty.
86.4002: It's a number. So what?
87.Betty: Barbie.
88.Sara: The little princess.
89.Dog: Stupid but fun sometimes...
90.Brain: What brain?!
91.Nick: BSB's, ugh...
92.Frank: Skinner Show.
93.AM: The shitty side of radio tuning.
94.FM: Sometimes decent channels.
95.PM: chat rooms, ugh.
96.Morning: The time when I have to get up and act alive.
97.Ball: Kick me.

WHAT DO YOU THINK (WRITE WHAT YOU THINK OF THE FOLLOWING)
98.Eminem: Amusing (ditto)
99.Rap: All the same, once you listen to it for a while. Most of 'me hide their lack of talent behind swear words and baggy jumpers (muthafucka, heh).
100.Teenagers: Stereotypical crap my parents come out with when they don't know how to deal with me.
101: Smoking: the Mask
102.Death: Tarot cards
103.Life: oh life, ohh life...oh life...du, du, du-du...Sorry, what was the question? : )
104.Drinking: Enjoyable, sociable, expensive!
105.Bomb Threats: Troubles up the North.
106.Murder: A possibility.
107.Suicide: Misinterpreted.
108.Fear: Frozen.

LAST FEW (Pointless) QUESTIONS:
126.Are you glad it's almost done? Yea.
127.Are you bored? Not really, want to go read though.
128.What kinda mood are you in right now? Confidant-ish.
129.Did you have a good day today? Not really, although SJ came into school for the first time in ages so it wasn't awful as such...Just dragged out, like every other school day.
130.What are you doing tomorrow: Sleeping over in SJ's house, renting a few videos, buying a few bottles of wine, denying the art exams start next Thursday...Escapism, anyone?
131.What did you do today?: Went to school, walked home, watched Kerrang, went online, had dinner, changed into pj's, answered emails...
138.What time is it now?: Dunno. Can't be arsed checking.
139.How long has it been since you started?: Again, I dunno.
140:Why is pickle juice green?: 'Cause it's disgusting and pickley?

[	mood	|	lonely	]
[	music	|	"I Stand Alone"-Godsmack	]

Which He-Man LiveJournal Icon are you?
I love these long, drawn-out computer classes. Really. Especially when none of my friends happen to be in...Whoopee.
I get so sit and listen to everyone chat and think 'Mm, wonder what I'm goin' to do for the hour's lunch break today...'
SJ is out, recovering from her German oral exam (hah), Olga's taking the day off to study, and let's just say that everyone else has pissed off and left mt to my own devices.
Which I don't mind, usually. But tomorrow I've a fucking french orl exam, and 'cause Mam wouldn't lte me take the day off I'm stuck in this shit-hole for seven more fucking classes.
Which is not good. Mm.
Why is it that the days you really, really need to not go to school are the days the parents kick up a fuss and the friends stay at home?
Six hours roughly left...then a walk home (alone), then a scummy dinner, then a night (and morning) of intense French revision (alone).
This is so fuckin' pointless.