| I feel pretty. |
[11 Jun 2004|11:23am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 loved |
] |
I'm so very tired....of everything but my 'love life'.
Jeff and I seem to be doing very well...and no, he's not like all the other guys who hit me...or anything negitive such as that. I feel safe now...safe from sin and satan himself. It's all so Fairy Tale-ish. He agrees. This is what I wanted, this is what I've been waiting for. A fairy tale all my own. Jeff says I need to write a book about my life and then have it end such as it is now in the 'Happily ever after' thing. It's so true though. We've both been searching for what is supposed to be ours and what we've wanted. It's all so magical...and sometimes hards to beleive that it's reality.
I hope this is the end of a searching for a Prince.
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| !!!!!!! |
[10 Jun 2004|03:41pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 content |
] |
I've started doing modeling again folks. My boyfriend, Jeff, wants to design clothes, and he says I'd be perfect, and knowing I used to be a model he knows I'll be great. He's also going to be in his own modeling....It'll be some wonderful fun. He'll be taking most of the pictures...and I'll be taking some here and there. So if any girls or guys in VA are willing to do modeling, drop me an e-mail with some of your pictures and I'll let you know if we could use you or not.
RottenRomance@netscape.net
or
ScarOfDoll@aol.com
or
Gutted_Doll_Corpse@yahoo.com
Thanks Guys!
<3
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| hehehe |
[09 Jun 2004|02:33pm] |
Woot. I got my teacher to take a picture of my tattoo...so now I get to show it off to you guys....
WOO HOO!!!
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[09 Jun 2004|10:49am] |
I'm still alive my friends....never worry.
I'm turly tired...I need to get more sleep...but I can't, I can never sleep.
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[22 May 2004|03:54pm] |
Just to let everyone know, I'm still here, but I will barly be able to update here at all...if you wish you may read my entries at Dead Journal.
http://www.deadjournal.com/~bloody_dolli
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| Dusty and Dolli |
[13 May 2004|07:34pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 hungry |
] |
Okay...well...as you know, Dani and I are no longer together...and yes, I'm back with Fred. <3
I don't have much to say other than...hi, please don't delete me off your friends list, and call me <33
804-690-4170
That is if you'd like to contact me at all...ever.
Okay, well I'm at Fred's house so I do think it'd be respectful if I got off here and spent time with him...
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| The hand you hold is the hand that holds you down. |
[03 May 2004|08:25am] |
I'm sick of all this stupid shit...there's too much on my mind, too much to handle...I'm going crazy.
I'm so stupid...
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| <3 |
[27 Apr 2004|08:46am] |
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Dani, Critis and I took picutres yesterday...I'll be posting them soon....
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| "These tiny hands..." |
[26 Apr 2004|08:30am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 guilty |
] |
That someone knows what that is. It makes me cry...I can't control it...not a bit.
Reply
Watching you drink your self into our misery
Standing in the shadows, just to stand away
Breaking the first thing that comes to mind
I found a way to uplift the blinds
Grasping on, no longer to be
Sharing the tears between you and me
What makes you break, or what makes you fall
Either way, you still need to crawl
Everythings fine
Not in our eyes
You know the truth of what lies inside
Hate me or love me, make up your mind
Evertyhing is not fine
Everything is not fine
Everything is not fine...
No Dani, this has nothing to do with us, so please don't worry my sweet -kiss-
Alot of Drama has been going on, but I wish not to talk about it because, i made a promise, and I intend to keep that.
I'm back in school, but I still live with Dani...
I miss Dani, i adore missing him again...I know that sounds weird, but, I don't know, gives me something to look forward to through the day :D
I love you Dani...I'll be thinking about you.
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| She hates me.... |
[21 Apr 2004|06:04pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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peaceful |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Type-o-negitive † All the flowers I gave her...she burned. |
] |
Dani needs his sleep, so therefore I'll let my darling sleep.
Before he went to work, he was throwing up...poor thing, and now he has a tooth ache, so I'm letting him get his rest knowing he won't be able to really sleep well, yet again, tonight.
Dani and I have been doing well, for the living part, we get along pretty well...I've just turned into that damn broken doll yet once again, he wants me fragile, he hated that bad ass bitch that everyone had turned me into.
I wasn't going to say anything about this til later on, but, Dani had picked out the perfect engagment and wedding ring set. They are so beautiful...he has good taste. We just have to save the money up for it now.
Please don't give me lip on being engaged, I've been engaged twice.... :D
I am sorry for my friends that I have abandoned...I'll find more time to talk to you guys....[LJ and DJ friends <3]
Please don't take me off your list -bats her eyes-
<3
Samantha
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| Not this again |
[17 Apr 2004|03:22pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 cynical |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Shatter † London After Midnight |
] |
Dani went off to find work...I'm so very glad :D
I'm trying not to wake up Mike any, I don't want to hear his shit.
Okay, well Natasha is IMing and I need to tell her a bunch of things...
<3
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[15 Apr 2004|06:35am] |
okay...well as most of you wonderful people know, I've been kicked out my house and living with Dani. YAY. lol.
We have plans...and they are good ones, so don't worry. Dolli is safe..
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| This doesn't mean I'm going to change. |
[08 Apr 2004|01:04pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 mischievous |
] |
I've come to realize something...
I dress like a slut.
I've always wondered why everyone said I was a slut...then one day I took a step back and looked at myself and myself dress and realized how badly I pull off the image of a respectless bitch. I guess in a way, I am respectless towards myself, for gods' sake, I was going to be a stripper and just not care who saw me...
But it all makes me feel pretty, it makes me feel wanted, it makes me feel like someone notices me. And I do it, all the time, everywhere I go, I have to do something shocking or make people's heads turn, or atleast make them look twice.
It's my OCD...it's my sickness...it's me.
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[08 Apr 2004|11:42am] |
I just had a fucking panic attack...
I need to chill out.
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| Kiss me, I'm dead... |
[08 Apr 2004|09:14am] |
† Name - Samantha
† Piercings - 8 in Ears, 2 in Belly Button [top and bottom], and Labret
† Tattoos - None, plan on getting 2.
† Height - 5 foot
† Shoe size - 8
† Hair color - Dark Purple with birght purple and pink streaks.
† Length - to my chin.
† Siblings - Robert [R.I.P.]
LAST ..
† Movie you went to see - Passion
† Movie you bought - Alice
† Song you listened to - Heavens A Lie-Lacuna Coil
† Song that was stuck in your head - Ummmm BOB
† Cd you bought - ....umm.....
† Cd you listened to - Metal for the Masses or some shit like that.
† Person you've called - Dani
† Person that's called you - Dani
† Tv show you've watched - Everybody loves Raymond
† Person you were thinking of - Dani
DO ..
† You have a bf or gf - Yes.
† You have a crush on someone - No
† You wish you could live somewhere else - Yes
† You think about suicide - Haven't lately
† You believe in online dating - No
† Others find you attractive - God yes
† You want more piercings - Yes
† You drink - Yes.
† You do drugs - I smoke weed here and there now of days
† You smoke - Yes.
† You like cleaning - Yes
† You like roller coasters - Yes.
† You write in cursive or print - Both
† You carry a donor card - No
FOR OR AGAINST ..
† Long distance relationships - Against
† Using someone - Against.
† Killing people - Depends
† Teenage smoking - ....-rolls eyes-
† Premarital sex - For, everyday.
† Driving drunk - Against
† Gay/lesbian relationship - For.
† Soap operas - who fucking cares..?
FAVORITE ..
† Food - Alot
† Song - Sleeping Beauty-A Perfect Circle
† Thing to do - Sing
† Thing to talk about - Myself or Dani
† Sports - I like ice skating...and fighting..
† Drinks - I like water, Sprite Remix, Pepsi, and Tea
† Clothes - Corsets
† Movies - Too many
† Band/singer - Still too many
† Holiday - none.
† New nerdy saying - o.O
HAVE YOU ..
† Ever cried over a girl/boy - Yes
† Ever lied to someone - Yes.
† Ever been in a fist fight - Yes.
† Ever been arrested - Kinda, but never put in jail.
NUMBER ..
† Of times I have been in love? - 4 times
† Of times I have had my heart broken? - 15456524564561
† Of drugs taken illegally? - I;m supposed to remember?
† Of people I would classify as true, could trust with my life type friends? - 4
† Of people I consider my enemies? - No one dares...but i have a few in mind
† Of times my name has appeared in the newspaper? - 3 times
† Of scars on my body? - Countless....
† Of things in my past that I regret? - Too many
FAVORITE ..
† Disney movie - Sleeping Beauty or Aldian
† Scent - Dani
† Word - Stupid
† Nickname - Dolli
† Guy name - Zeb, or Max
† Girl name - Scarlett
† Eye color - Crystal Blue, but I do adore Dani's big brown eyes <3
† Flower - Roses
† Piercing - Belly Button
† Actor - Jonny Depp, did you have to ask?
DO YOU THINK YOU ARE ..
† Handsome/pretty - I have to be
† Funny - Yes.
† Hot - No, thanks FRED.
† Friendly - Yes
† Amusing - Yes.
† Ugly - I am most of the time.
† Loveable - Yes.
† Pessimistic - Can be.
† Optimistic - Sometimes
† Caring - Yes.
† Sweet - Yes.
† Dorky - Sometimes
† Spell your first name back wards - ahtnamas
† The story behind your user name - I don't really know, nor care asshole.
† Are you straight - Barly.
† Where do you live - Powhatan VA.
† Four words that sum you up - A Sweet Goth Snow Bunny Girl
DESCRIBE YOUR -
† Wallet - Black, soft and furry
† Toothbrush - Purple
† Pillow cover - Dark blue with stars and moons
† Blanket - same as pillow
† Coffee cup - -shrugs-
† Sunglasses - Hippy-ish.
† Shoes - Big black boots
† Favorite top - My black corsets.
† CD in stereo right now - -shrugs-
† What you are wearing now -Leather looking pants, with boots, along with a corset looking type top
† hair - Down, for once.
WHO or WHAT (was/is/are) -
† In my mouth - Nothing.
† In my head - Dani
† Wishing - That the day would end sooner
† After this - I want to eat
† Talking to - Nobody
† Eating - Nothing.
† Fetishes - Boots, piercings....-drools-
† If you could get away with it and murder anyone, who and for what reason - I don't want to talk about that
† Person you wish you could see right now - Dani
† Is next to you - Stupid boys.
† Something you're looking forward to in this upcoming month - Moving in with Dani...
† Something that you are deathly afraid of - Geting my heart broken...again.
† Do you like candles - Yes
† Do you like hot wax - Yep.
† Do you like incense - Yes
† Do you like the taste of blood -Everyone has their own taste, so it depends.
† Do you believe in love - Yes.
† Do you believe in soul mates - If that's what you want to call it, sure
† Do you believe in love at first sight - Yes
† Do you believe in forgiveness - Yes.
† Do you believe in God - To an extent
† What do you want done with your body when you die - Stick me in the ground..?
† Who is your worst enemy - ....grrrr....
† If you could have any animal for a pet - ...I already have my bunny
† What is the latest you've ever stayed up - 2 days stright, that's what COKE does to you
† Ever been to Belgium - No.
† Can you eat with chopsticks - Yes
† What's your favorite coin - The quarter.
† What are 5 cities you wouldn't mind relocating to - i don't know
† What are some of your favorite pig out foods - Everything
† Whats something that you wish people would understand - Where I'm coming from...
† What's something you wish you could understand better - Why everything fucking hurts me.
† Anyone you miss that you haven't seen in a long time - Natasha... :(
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| Sick |
[07 Apr 2004|08:58am] |
| [ |
mood |
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angry |
] |
No, I don't want you to shut up, I just want you to stop breathing...
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| Deadly Passion. |
[06 Apr 2004|12:37pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 intimidated |
] |
This odd, emotional, fast, yet pleasent chemical reaction I have with dear Dani has came to our first real problem. I rather not say everything of what's going on, but lets just say that he and I need to work....on ourselves before we break eachother apart.
Everything, as of lately, has been diffcult to deal with. It's all dragging me down...but there is that one think that needs me hanging on the edge to have hope and think that it'll really be okay....that's Dani.
Dani, I do believe you and I can make it....please, just keep that faith.
AHH. It's all overkill...for my mind. [Not just Dani, just everything that's going on].
I have decided that I am moving with Dani to Norfolk later in life.
There is so much I want to say...
Don't break me ever again.
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[05 Apr 2004|08:55am] |
| [ |
mood |
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hopeful |
] |
Well, looks like things at the Tattoo Shop are not going to be going well....
Vickie, even though she won't admit it, hates me...it bothers me because the other reason she even does is beause of Dani...I'm nothing like Dani [except for personal things, and issues]. She was very rude to me, which I could have been rude back and decided NOT to be, because, I'm not like that. I just hope everything works out for the better and there won't be another WW3 going on with the shop, although, I see it happening [not just with me, nor John....]....I will not start anything, but I will stand up for myself. I don't like it when PEOPLE talk behind my back about shit they don't even know is true or not, or even if it's real...
I just want to learn to insert pictures on skin and put holes into people with metal rods.
Anyways, enough of me bitching...
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