Date:	2004-06-12 05:15
Subject:	dazed and confused
Security:	Public
Mood:	confused
Music:	zeppelin

i just smoked weed out of a hookah and watched a led zeppelin dvd. jimmy page is GOD.

emotions are fucking stupid. i feel left out. thanx for the invite guys, it's nice to know i'm second now. i guess i deserve this though. fuck it. i'm going to bed now.






"the only thing stopping me is how big he is..."
i was hoping it was because im a nice guy, but that apparently doesnt matter. dick.

are you as pissed off as i am about lucas fucking usover and only releasing the special edition star wars trilogy on dvd? then go here: www.originaltrilogy.com and sign the petition.

do it. even if you hate star wars but like me.

Date:	2004-05-20 02:45
Subject:	lucas is at it again.
Security:	Public
Mood:	pissed off
Music:	metallica-the wait

man, fuck george lucas. can the fucker do anything right?

"This past weekend, the Moscone Center in San Francisco kicked off the summer convention season with a celebration of comics, film and pop culture. Several movie studios were present, offering glimpses into upcoming summer releases expected to wow audiences in 2004.
Steve Sansweet, Head of Fan Relations for Lucasfilm, focused instead on the fall of 2004 and May 2005, with a presentation that covered the DVD release of the Star Wars trilogy and the much anticipated theatrical release of Episode III. Sansweet screened several of the Making Episode III web-docs currently being enjoyed by Hyperspace subscribers, and opened the floor to a brief question-and-answer session.

When asked if the forthcoming DVDs would feature the original theatrical release versions of the trilogy or the Special Editions, Sansweet answered that the films contained on the discs would be the incarnations of the films "as George Lucas sees them today." He reminded people of the 1995 video release of the trilogy that hailed itself as the last time the original theatrical cuts would ever be available. "They weren't kidding," Sansweet noted. "

fuck that. for some screenshots of this blasphemy, visit: http://www.thedigitalbits.com/rumormill.html

for those who care, here is an exclusive new neurosis mp3, available one week before the rest of the world can hear it:
http://neurotrecordings.com/media/Neurosis_Eye_Burn.mp3

Date:	2004-04-26 03:48
Subject:	ahhh
Security:	Public
Mood:	confused
Music:	neurot radio-scott kelly-flower

im so confused. something is seriously wrong with me. since when does feeling alienated mean you want to be alone all the time?

Date:	2004-04-14 02:51
Subject:	willing oneself to forget what cannot otherwise be forgiven
Security:	Public
Mood:	frustrated
Music:	shai hulud-that within blood ill-tempered

why do i have such a hard time letting go of the past? i can't wait to leave this fucking city.

"no man can learn the value of his life without pain.
yet, no man deserves a life's worth in pain.
and i have a lifetime left to learn.

am i not a better man?

a man who has grown sound and strong,
a man who has learned from his misery.

am i not a better man?

a clever man who taught his flesh the way of steel.
this lasting man of resolve and will.

am i not a better man?

or just a bitter man
that rots with memories and only grows cold.

indeed i have grown cold."

Date:	2004-04-07 02:40
Subject:	ahhhh... deep thoughts
Security:	Public
Mood:	bored
Music:	do make say think

I bet when the neanderthal kids would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick, heavy brows." Then they would all get embarrassed because they remembered they had the big hunky brows too, and they'd get mad and eat the snowman.

The people in the village were real poor, so none of the children had any toys. But this one little boy had gotten an old enema bag and filled it with rocks, and he would go around and whap the other children across the face with it. Man, I think my heart almost broke. Later the boy came up and offered to give me the toy. This was too much! I reached out my hand, but then he ran away. I chased him down and took the enema bag. He cried a little, but that's the way of these people.

We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can't scoff at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me.

He was a cowboy, mister, and he loved the land. He loved it so much he made a woman out of dirt and married her. But when he kissed her, she disintegrated. Later, at the funeral, when the preacher said, "Dust to dust," some people laughed, and the cowboy shot them. At his hanging, he told the others, "I'll be waiting for you in heaven--with a gun."

If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.

I guess I kinda lost control, because in the middle of the play I ran up and lit the evil puppet villain on fire. No, I didn't. Just kidding. I just said that to help illustrate one of the human emotions, which is freaking out. Another emotion is greed, as when you kill someone for money, or something like that. Another emotion is generosity, as when you pay someone double what he paid for his stupid puppet.

I wouldn't be surprised if someday some fishermen caught a big shark and cut it open, and there inside was a whole person. Then they cut the person open, and in him is a little baby shark. And in the baby shark there isn't a person, because it would be too small. But there's a little doll or something, like a Johnny Combat little toy guy---something like that.

TYLER, Texas (April 3) - A jury on Saturday began deliberating whether a homemaker was insane when she used rocks to bludgeon two of her sons to death and severely injure a third after receiving what she claimed were orders from God.

Deanna Laney, sitting several feet away from a poster-sized portrait of her three children, wept uncontrollably as prosecutors portrayed the killings last Mother's Day weekend as deceptively planned and coldly executed.

"It was graphic, it was horrific and it was brutal," prosecutor Matt Bingham told the jury during closing arguments earlier Saturday.

Laney, 39, has pleaded not guilty by reason of insanity to murder in the deaths of 8-year-old Joshua and 6-year-old Luke, and serious injury to a child for the beating of Aaron, now 2.

Bingham pounded his fist in his hand as he recounted Joshua's killing: "He got strike after strike after strike on his head to the point that his brains were coming out of his head like liquid."

Defense attorney Tonda Curry began her argument by asking the jury why a deeply religious woman known as a loving, devoted mother who homeschooled her children would kill two of her children and maim another without so much as a tear.

"There was no crying," Curry said. "She was insane. There is no other answer."

She recalled a tape of Laney calling 911 after midnight on May 10, calmly reporting the murders and directing authorities to her home.

"Do you remember that voice?" Curry asked the jurors, who sat solemn faced, some appearing pensive. "Have you ever heard a voice like that, so empty of emotion?"


About three hours into deliberations, the jury asked Judge Cynthia Kent for the 911 tape, the transcript of that call and the testimony of Laney's husband, Keith. The judge agreed to give jurors only the tape, saying the transcript had not been admitted as evidence and that jurors could review Keith Laney's testimony only if they cite a specific disagreement over it.

Curry stressed that five psychiatric experts, including one hired by the judge and two by the prosecution, concluded that a severe mental illness caused psychotic delusions and made Laney incapable of knowing right from wrong during the killings - the standard in Texas for insanity.

"We have five consistent medical opinions that say she's insane and none to the contrary," Curry said.

If Laney is found innocent by reason of insanity, she would be committed to a hospital for treatment. Medical evaluations would dictate when she would be released.

If convicted of capital murder, she would be sentenced to life in prison, with the possibility of parole in 40 years. If convicted of serious injury to a child, a first-degree felony, the sentence could range from five years to 99 years or life.

Laney, who home-schooled her children in the tiny town of New Chapel Hill, 100 miles southeast of Dallas, was convinced she was divinely chosen by God to kill her children last Mother's Day weekend, psychiatrists testified.

Date:	2004-04-03 02:58
Subject:	my ass is on fire
Security:	Public
Mood:	aggravated
Music:	CURSED

man, i have seen so many good shows over the past few months. unfortunately i have seen a lot of shit bands play those shows. im so fucking sick of this emo-metal fashion core, poseur bullshit. denvers "harder" scene is absolute shit, with the exception of cephalic carnage, who are on anoter plane of existence musically, and my roommate's bands, who are keepin it real. i wanna be in a band so bad, just to prove to myself that there are still people in this shit city who give a fuck about music. i swear to god, if i see another local band come along wth white belts and makeup and lame glam rock attitude, trying to play "metal" im gonna fucking puke. get over yourselves assholes, your band sucks and no one likes you but 15 year old girls and christian high schoolers who dont know any better.

Date:	2004-03-21 01:20
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	tired
Music:	pelican-australasia

man, pelican is so fucking awesome. and high on fire. i love good shows. i dont have anything good to talk about other than that right now.

A is for - Age: 22
B is for - Boyfriend/Girlfriend: nah
C is for - career: i wanna be a cinematographer. but ill prolly end up just flipping burgers
D is for - Dad's name: jim
E is for - Essential item to bring to a party: weed
F is for - Favorite song at the moment: the curse of feanor by blind guardian
G is for - Guy/Girls you've kissed: i counted once, about 22
H is for - Hometown: chicago
I is for - Instruments you play: guitar, bass, and i used to play saxomophone pretty wrll
J is for - Job title: housewares salesperson
K is for - Kids: Adopting
L is for - Living arrangement: at the gailer/autokinofags house.
M is for - Mom's name: pam
N is for - Number of people you've crushed on: Who knows
O is for - Overnight hospital stays: 2 or 3
P is for - Phobia[s]: insects, heights, people
Q is for - Quote you like: thats tough. i couldnt tell you. probably some converge lyric. or songs: ohia
R is for - Relationship that lasted the longest: 6 months
S is for - Sexual position: As many as you can pull off
T is for - Time you wake up: whenever i need to be up.
U is for - Unique trait(s): i dunno
V is for - Vegetable you love: broccoil,
W is for - Worst habit: smoking
X is for - X-rays you've had: 5 or 6
Y is for - Yummy food you make: ravioli
Z is for - Zodiac sign: libra

Appearance
HEIGHT: 6 1
HAIR COLOR: shit brown
SKIN COLOR: im a honkie
EYE COLOR: brown
PIERCINGS: ears, lip
TATTOOS: a few
Right now
WHAT COLOR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING?: jeans
WHAT SONG ARE YOU LISTENING TO?: the 3rd song on pelicans album
WHAT TASTE IS IN YOUR MOUTH?: cigarettes ad orange soda
WHAT'S THE WEATHER LIKE?: it was hot, but got really cold
HOW ARE YOU TODAY?: stoned

Do you ...
GET MOTION SICKNESS?: Sure
HAVE A BAD HABIT?: Sure...
GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS?: most of the time. my dad more tghan my mom
LIKE TO DRIVE?: i love driving

Favorites
TV SHOW?: Family Guy/Simpsons, beavis and butthead, ren and stimpy, mr. show, and dawsons creek
CONDITIONER?: n/a
BOOK?: a heartbreaKING work of staggering genius, lord of the rings, high fidelity, many others
NON-ALCOHOLIC DRINK?: im a soda conassieur
THINGS TO DO ON THE WEEKEND?: i dont do much of anything ever
BAND OR GROUP?: converge

Have you ever
BROKEN THE LAW?: Yea
RAN AWAY FROM HOME?: Yea
SNUCK OUT OF THE HOUSE?: Nope
GONE SKINNY DIPPING?: Nope
MADE A PRANK PHONE CALL?: Yea
TIPPED OVER A PORTA POTTY?: fuck yeah
USED YOU PARENTS' CREDIT CARD?:No
SKIPPED SCHOOL?: Too often
FELL ASLEEP IN THE SHOWER/BATH?: Nope
BEEN IN A SCHOOL PLAY?: Nope
LET A FRIEND CRY ON YOUR SHOULDER?: Sure
BEEN IN LOVE?: a few times
HAD A HARD TIME GETTING OVER SOMEONE?: Of course
BEEN HURT?: Gah, of course
GONE OUT WITH SOMEONE YOU ONLY KNEW FOR THREE DAYS?: Nope

Love
BOYFRIEND?: No
GIRLFRIEND?: No
SEXUALITY?: Straight
CHILDREN?: Adopt
CURRENT CRUSH?: you all know

Random
DO YOU HAVE A JOB?: yup. a crappy one though
YOUR CD PLAYER HAS IN IT RIGHT NOW?: pelican-australasia
IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?: black
WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?: Music, friends... music... movies... marijuana
WHO MAKES YOU THE HAPPIEST?: i dont pick favorites
WHAT'S THE NEXT CD YOU'RE GOING TO GET?: oh man. theres so many... prolly exhumed's gore metal, or the new gadget album. who knows.
WHO DO YOU CONSIDER GOOD FRIENDS?: you know who you are, i dont need to make a list.
WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO?: whatever

When/what was the last
TIME YOU CRIED?: about a month
YOU GOT A REAL LETTER?: who knows
YOU GOT E-MAIL?: Today
THING YOU PURCHASED?: a falefel sandwich and ornage soda
TV PROGRAM YOU WATCHED?: Family guy DVD
MOVIE YOU SAW?: i watched wet hot american summer last night

Thoughts on
ABORTION?: Pro-Choice
TEENAGE SMOKING?: Whatev
SPICE GIRLS?: lame
DREAMS?: oh man i had the sweetest dream the other nihgt involving led zeppelin, surfing and a giant puppet made of trees and feathers.

Date:	2004-03-02 04:03
Subject:	shake for me girl, i wanna be your back door man
Security:	Public
Mood:	bored
Music:	led zep-heartbreaker

so i slept all day, and now i'm not tired. i have to be up at 8. boooooooo. i learned how to play the main riff from "heart of the sunrise" by yes today. i am a guitar god.

playlist for this week:
yes-fragile
led zeppelin-II
converge-jane doe
G!YBE-yanqui u.x.o.
dead meadow-shivering king
jason molina-pyramid electric co.
dying fetus-stop at nothing (gotta keep it brutal)

last cigarette: a few minutes ago
last car ride: to kinko's a little while ago
last kiss: from man-duh
last good cry: a few nights ago.
last library book checked out: i can't remember. the last movie i rented was memphis belle though.
last movie seen: lost in translation
last book read: i got about halfway through the hobbit and pooped out.
last cuss word uttered: who the fuck knows?
last beverage drank: orange fanta
last food consumed: some nasty roasted garlic boca burgers
last crush: this girl at my work
last phone call: mandy
last tv show watched: i haven't watched tv in forever
last time showered: earlier today
last shoes worn: my chucks
last cd played: i'm currently rockin zep-II
last item bought: the above mentioned orange fanta
last downloaded: a dear lover song. jake bannon rules.
last disappointment: dumb ex girlfriend drama
last soda drank: see above
last thing written: see prvious post
last key used: car key
last word spoken: "good night"
last sleep: tonight from about 6:30 P<M til midnight
last IM: no ones IM'd me tonight.
last sexual fantasy: i dont really fantasize, i just do it. word.
last weird encounter: i dunno.
last time amused: earlier tonight when cool people were hanging out at my hizzy
last time hugged: not sure
last time scolded: my mom yells at me for something on a daily basis. i thjink most recently for losing my w-2s
last chair sat in: im sitting in my desk chair
last shirt worn: thee dollhouse in myrtle beach S.C.
last time dancing: new years
last poster looked at: exam.
last show attended: Exhumed, Cannibal Corpse
last web page visited: convergecult.com

i'm still recovering from this weekend. my god, converge is the most amazing band ever. the whole trip was so amazing, but nothing will compare to that forty five minutes or so where i screamed out all the things that have been hurting me this last year. it wasn't a show, it wasn't a band, it was a religious experience. yeah, maybe i am a bit obsessed, but i'm sure everyone here has that one thing that made them so emotional that they completely broke down and lost their minds for a few minutes, and that is what that band is for me.

and one more thing. fuck you you fucking lying bitch. i hope you fucking burn for what you've done. as of now, you are officially erased from me.

"Were it all had meaning, were we fell in love for the first time
It erupts in nights like this, tangled in the simplicity of...
Some far off distant evening with hearts filled to the brim
with good intentions and the sweetest of tragedy
I hope you hear me coming, I hope you turn your head
Arms spread wide like Jesus, without the heart
or cowardice, or mouthful of easy answers
Headlong we pace into the killing fields
Born of fevers and the brooding night sweats
and the war about to be waged
Stop crying, just give me the keys
I hope you hear me coming, I hope you turn your head
Stop crying, just give me the fucking keys
Headlong into the killing fields
These days I am becoming bulletproof
The bells are ringing, it's the end of the line
I'm becoming your fears
I'm becoming every broken heart
I hope you hear me coming, I hope you turn your head"

-jacob bannon

Date:	2004-02-13 01:29
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	bored
Music:	jesuit

man i'm bored. someone should come over and play.

mastodon, and maybe converge... come on, we'd love one more person to go.

school sucks this semester. i have so much goddamn homework already.

i have to work tonight. that sucks.

i'd rather hang out with you, but i guess life can't be perfect all the time

4 comments | post a comment

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Date:	2004-01-18 15:52
Subject:	ass out, socks off, balls out, boston hardcore
Security:	Public
Mood:	excited
Music:	knut-challenger

the 303 will be invading the west coast for a few days next month. this will be the ultimate road trip. hopefully we'll have three or four cars or something. sludgefest 2004. and you may be wondering why we would want to invade the west coast? to show all those faggoty white belt san diego fucks how to rock, thats why.

CONVERGE 2004 WEST COAST TOUR!
February 2004
18 San Diego CA @ Che Cafe w/ CUAD, Find Him And Kill Him
19 West Hollywood CA @ Whisky A Go Go w/ CUAD, First Blood
20 Anaheim CA @ Chain Reaction w/ CUAD, First Blood, Find Him And Kill Him

oh and wait... its about to get even better

MASTODON!
February 21 Corona, CA Showcase Theater (w/ Red Tape, Uphill Battle)


goddamn my friends fucking rule. no where else in denver will you find 6 or 7 people jacked up on caffeine talking about metal and records and lord of the rings for hours upon hours. fuck we rule.

and you know what rules most of all... YOU.

1 comment | post a comment

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Date:	2004-01-13 03:00
Subject:	"whatever, you guys listen to metal."
Security:	Public
Mood:	lame
Music:	isis-the minus times

one of my managers used that as an insult towards me and grant. our reply: "and you guys don't."

speaking of metal, cephalic carnage is the BEST BAND IN DENVER, hands down, and if you have a brain you will be at the ogden on the 23rd for their next show. its free if you're 21 too. word.

justin made an attempt at playing matchmaker for me last night. that kid knows me WAY too well. she is a card, and i hope to be seeing a lot more of her soon.

i never have a goddamn thing to say on here. i just talk about metal, whine about girls, and proclaim my nerdiness whenever i start typing on here. god i suck.

oh yeah. i got a 3.0 this semester. thats a first for me in college. dont make fun of me for being a dumbass. im very proud of myself.

FVT - 153 INTRO TO FILM PRODUCTION 03.00 03.00 C
FVT - 205 FILM/VIDEO CAMERA EQUIP TECH 03.00 03.00 C
FVT - 164 INTRO TO DIGITAL EDITING 03.00 03.00 A
FVT - 160 VIDEO POST PRODUCTION I 03.00 03.00 A


Your GPA for this term is: 3.00

3 comments | post a comment

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Date:	2004-01-02 02:52
Subject:	happy new year's
Security:	Public
Mood:	depressed
Music:	daughters-canada songs

new years this year was a blast. that was the drunkest i have ever been. sorry for anyone i offended and thank you meggan and sarah for putting up with me on the ride home.

highlights of year:

the best/worst relationship i have ever been in. i learned a lot from you jen. although we don't talk much anymore, i wish we did. thank you.

march trip to omaha for songs: ohia. thank you lyndsey for going with and being a great friend.
amd thanks to jason molina for being a huge inpiration on me and drinking a beer with me, and making me feel like a friend for a couple of hours.

broke my foot drunken dancing and didnt have to work for 9 months or so.

became amazing friends with justin sludgekowski. i love him so much. and i love that fact that i converted him to the gloriousness of metal. yes folks, it was all my doing.

discovered the joys of marijuana. and stoner metal.

saw radiohead

went to illinois for a couple weeks, realized that the friends i had there are amazing because i can be gone for three years and come back and its like i never even left.

had my first "friends with benefits." i still dont know how i feel about this.

met the love of my life. unfortunately her heart is not all there when it comes to me, but i have grown incredibly patient with people in this last year. this chapter in my life will not be closed for some time. i have a feeling you and i will make history soon my dear, whether you like it or not.

got sweet new tattoos

got fat.

anyways, im sure there was more badass things that happened to me, but i dont feel like thinking very hard about it right now.

top 5 albums of 2003:
radiohead-hail to the thief
examination of the...-the whitest of elephants
songs: ohia-the magnolia electric co.
(smog)-supper
mastodon-remission ( i think this came out in 02 but whatever, i bought it this year.)

best movies i saw this year:
return of the king
28 days later



























p.s. thank you for being my first kiss of the new year. i'm sorry nothing i have done for you measures up to your weekend of bliss not long ago, but your still always in my thoughts.

7 comments | post a comment

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Date:	2003-12-09 15:15
Subject:	finally
Security:	Public
Mood:	energetic
Music:	NASUM-HUMAN 2.0

i am almost done with school this semester, and i have to say, some of my projects are really badass. i'm really proud of myself that im finally doing well in school, and i actually enjoy what im doing. in other news...

ATTENTION ALL NERDS AND REJOICE!!
This summer, after patiently waiting through so many different books, graphic novels, video games, etc... ALIENS VS. PREDATOR is finally coming out. jesus hoobastank christ its about time. also... 8 days and counting until return of the king.

ATTENTION HEADBANGERS
i finished my submission for the most BRUTAL MIX EVER contest. are you other guys still in? this you means YOU mike, seth, will, annie, and brendan. anyone else willing to participate get your submissions rolling. brent, you could possibly win this thing if you choose to participate.

ATTENTION GIRLS
well one girl, and you know who you are... you rock my fucking socks off.

and that's all.

11 comments | post a comment

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Date:	2003-12-04 01:56
Subject:	who knew?
Security:	Public

http://jason.martinez.has-a-small-penis.com/

6 comments | post a comment

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