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(5 dead muthafucka | bust a cap) [13 Jun 2004|04:00pm] how fucking cute are we ;p

(11 dead muthafucka | bust a cap) [12 Jun 2004|06:17am] [ music | Leonard Cohen - Night comes on ] i think i am long overdue for something to come along and completely fucking blow me away. something big, something good, something to transform me into the most beautiful glow and possibly almost blind me. ive loved so much and been passionate about everything i do but apathetic for so long now that i need something to revive me. i guess it comes in spurts but now i know im ready for something to grab me and say "this is going to make you into the person you have to be and will serve as your inspiration for stories and stories to come." i feel it in the wind it can't be too far off maybe i should stop searching for rainbows and they will appear when i least expect it. i know i've experienced first hand how that works.. i almost caught one not too long ago, almost. it's still there i hope waiting for me to move a cloud i just want to grab onto the one that stretches all the way across the sky and follow it down to the end of the horizon. im not searching for gold, just a little sparkle.

(3 dead muthafucka | bust a cap) [12 Jun 2004|05:56am] [ music | Social Distortion - When the Angels Sing ] i just added some pictures from tonight at the hookah cafe [me, johnny, owen, melanie, tish, sarah, ryan, brett(look how different he is with no hair!!)] and also there are some from swimming [maggie, melanie, jessie, john, jay, joe, 1 of me] then 2 from weds. at melvins [one of me and ryan boasting our darts' scores and one of kevin1 bein drunk] and a few from my birthday party last weekend [the snails, and jessie, brian, maggie, melanie, sammy, johnny, sarah, ryan] all inside here: http://img78.photobucket.com/albums/v246/foetuscide/chillin/

(5 dead muthafucka | bust a cap) [11 Jun 2004|02:58pm] RIP Skip you were quite a character. kevin's tooth brush is exactly like mine but orange as soon as i hit metairie the rain hit me as hot as my car is though it felt good on my arms i didnt bother putting up the window as soon as i turned off airline hwy the rain stopped gary and tomasa have gone somewhere but guess who is baby sitting !! ladies and gentlemen, i give you cloe and cleo: http://img78.photobucket.com/albums/v246/foetuscide/babies/

(9 dead muthafucka | bust a cap) [09 Jun 2004|12:50pm] Capricorn You must resist reacting in a negative manner to unexpected developments that go against your initial expectations. Be flexible, you must bend but not break. this from chad's journal. hah. its funny because i woke up and reacted in a negative manner immediately to little unexpected developments that pissed me off. i dont really see being flexible as an option but for the sake of those involved i guess i might as well try to give the benifit of the doubt, even though i seriously doubt my doubt.

(2 dead muthafucka | bust a cap) [09 Jun 2004|05:35am] actually you know what let me drop off the earth for a day and come back with no memory of who i ever was dont remember me this way and disregard everything i say or have said because i probably dont remember half of it anyway and if you ask for a meaning i will shrug and i will say "i have no idea what you are talking about" but today i feel beautiful awkward, but beautiful. my horoscope is telling me that there are aquarius' fucking shit up for me that i am confused but its not my fault because typically i know what i am doing and where i am headed and i know exactly 3 that probably would not argue and maybe 2 that would have no idea what i am talking about really i dont buy into it most of the times my head is way too far in the air to fit where i belong but sometimes i think, 'you know, its uncanny what good timing they do seem to have for these rather vague descriptions of things that could be happening to anybody on any day"

(3 dead muthafucka | bust a cap) [09 Jun 2004|05:25am] [ music | Black Sabbath - Planet Caravan ] time must have stopped for me in 2002 i just wrote the date two years too late i have a predicament not a serious one but it is one i need to clear my head im sorry to the lot of you who have been counting on me recently i am not all here i guess.' i will fix this, pronto. i could use a hug theres something in me that just needs to be squished. when i hear crickets i reach for my cell phone and when i see richard karn on television i think about what his funeral would be like. i would hate to get stuck in an association game with anyone that knows me please dont ask me what i think when i see things or what i see when i hear things i will only grow more confused than i usually am. when i looked at my water i must have thought of 2002 when i look at the bird on my back porch i think of the taste of my cigarettes in the park how much crisper they felt in autumn when i look at the ashtray on the table i see an old freind hunched over it balling up a peice of rolling paper between his fingers when i see your bedroom i think of the comfort of my own i went swimming tonight and had a great time jay is in from arkansas , he and joe showed up with maggie and jessie john came with me it felt good to be swimming again but the heater did not have it all the way warm for us i did not expect to be so late, really but i guess swimming never really is any small ammount of time

(15 dead muthafucka | bust a cap) shouts to my peeps [08 Jun 2004|05:54pm] capricorns you guys are the shit i am glad so have so many friends that are capricorns i dont know what the deal is but the bond always seems stronger in a room full of us and some how we all have very good attractive symmetrical features and whimsical conversations full of tangents sure i get along really well with libras, cancers, aquarius, and aries as well but i think mostly the ones that always will understand me are capricorns i wasnt ever usually into astrology or anything like that really but over the last couple years starting during the time where jonathan was my best friend or maybe when keith and i were tight i dont know maybe its because my mom and my sister are both caps as well so its all ive ever really been close to my whole life ha ha , look i am insane and rambling but i am capricorn !

(2 dead muthafucka | bust a cap) [08 Jun 2004|06:28am] fucking ahhhh pms is making me so weird today weirder than it normally does i feel like i am tripping all day long its one of those weird stress pms's rather than just the emotional ones where i keep feeling so busy and exhausted along with emotional and overly empathic and like everyone thinks ill of me or looks at me stupid no matter how unfounded i know that really is then when i look at the mirror it is almost like i am not even looking at myself but i feel calmer knowing that this is actually my face even though my head feels way too heavy to sit atop my neck i almost couldnt take it at the show tonight i couldnt even sit through any conversations yesterday or today without looking around i cant hold eyecontact normally but the last couple of days once eyecontact was made i would get completely flustered and either ramble on forgetting what i was talking about or else just shut up mid sentence and stutter and light a cigarette. i felt okay though after the show picked john back up and went to buds broiler ryan works there, brady was working there too john and i sat in the back and made fun of things i finally got my burger and french fries and sprite i had been craving meat, grease, and fizzy drink he also gave me 3 squares of the comic when i dropped him off around the block i guess maybe i am just more at ease one on one with new people instead of old i want to go swimming tomorrow this time, i'm serious.

(8 dead muthafucka | bust a cap) [07 Jun 2004|06:34pm] my tits fucking hurt i dont normally talk about them because really theres not so much to talk about but jesus fucking christ it hurts to walk it hurts to hug people it hurts to shower it hurts to just let them sit still i dont know how all you bigger girls can handle it cause if my A's feel this fucking heavy and like they are going to explode i can only imagine that beth and kimmy for instance have a hell of a time every month trying not to cut the fuckers off. ha ha. ouch.

(3 dead muthafucka | bust a cap) [07 Jun 2004|05:37am] foetuscide's LJ stalker is psofire! psofire is stalking you because you said something bad about them on your LJ. They are also not very liked around here! hah. damn dude. you're busted.

(4 dead muthafucka | bust a cap) [06 Jun 2004|04:18pm] its storming which is funy because every day the weather says its supposed to be nice and sunny what the hell i am going to shower before the lightening hurts me and then get kevin from the airport and then watch queer as folk and try to fix my sleeping schedule and sync it up to everyone else maybe even work tomorrow but tomorrow night-- KYLESA are playing [monday june 7th] at DIXIE with ARTIMUS PYLE and SUNDAY MORNING EINSTEINS [who are from like sweden i think] also the faeries are playing too everyone should go because this show is going to rock.

(2 dead muthafucka | bust a cap) [06 Jun 2004|02:52am] its not my birthday, my birthday was in january that is why it was such a surprise ha ha.

(4 dead muthafucka | bust a cap) [05 Jun 2004|04:13pm] turns out it is my surprise birthday party. who knew?? come over ! ha ha ha.

(2 dead muthafucka | bust a cap) [05 Jun 2004|02:35pm] The picnic is moved to my house !! 4415 w. metairie ave park in cafe fresca parking lot @ clearview and west metairie the hearse is parked infront of the house that is mine.

(2 dead muthafucka | bust a cap) [04 Jun 2004|05:57pm] okay motherfuckers i know some of you have been itching for a good show and i know that atp and rwake are a big ordeal tomorrow as well as our picknick but Hope and Suicide are playing tonight [from florida, feature ex-members of Bloodlet, Bibe of the Self, and Measured in Gray] with Collapsar[ex-icepick revival] Summer Dying [metalcore from michigan] and Apartment 213 [dont know much bout them but Dave from Skinkrawl and Shakespear in Hell plays drums] at dixie taverne. 10pm 5 dollars... there will be cheap beer, loud music and quiet metairie girls. sounds like a party right ? please come to the show tonight as well as tomorrow night. As far as the picknick goes these are the directions but if you get lost you can still call one of us anyway: Main entrance by Bayou St. John [carrolton?] on Lelong ave towards NOMA[new orleans museum of art] around and over the bridge to Golf Ave turn the first RIGHT behind the museum cars parked to the RIGHT and there are some picnick tables NOON til 5 bring your own drinks but we have SHITLOADS of food to go around to accomodate vegetarian and meat eaters alike and like i said everyone we know is welcome to come eat it with us just not creepy inter net stalkers or jessica stewart.

(6 dead muthafucka | bust a cap) [04 Jun 2004|05:46am] [ music | Electric Wizard - Dopethrone ] i just yawned so big that my face caved in my eyes refused to even open its cold in here, hot out there, but hot underneath my hair my head holds more than what i thought in terms of heat i suppose but my hands will tend to swell thinking the worst. you know, the content and fair part of me says i will show you exactly what you give to me i will probably show more in return for any small effort but the stubborn part says i wont budge until you do i dont think it meant to offend just as a defensive mechanism for myself maybe ? it really is applied in every situation no matter how small and i think i trip myself up sometimes everyone always fails when they expect something to change that no one else would even think of changing. i am just glad that i have no such situation at the moment though i do tend to ramble none of it is ever really relevant the only reason i even bother explaining myself is because in the back of my head i still know that there is always an audience and one in particular i do not want to take offense that is not intended for them. yes i realize how stupid this post sounds but it makes sense to me and i need to post these things here so that i do not continue to have the same conversations with myself every time i have a thought. heh.

(6 dead muthafucka | bust a cap) [03 Jun 2004|06:32am] okay i broke those last two posts image hosting stuff sucks i tried to post only the pictures of piggy but here are really all of the pictures http://img78.photobucket.com/albums/v246/foetuscide/

(12 dead muthafucka | bust a cap) [02 Jun 2004|09:00pm] [ music | Sigur Ros - Flugufrelsarinn ] dear everybody as most of you may know ALABAMA THUNDERPUSSY are playing saturday june 5th with RWAKE at howlin wolf - hazard county girls are opening for them as many of you may not know we are all getting together for a picnic before that from noon til 5 at city park if you wish to come call either me, my sister, or my mom we dont know exactly where yet but its in city park so you could just head out there and look all over for us around marconi meadows or else call one of our cell phones [contact me via email or comment here if you dont already have one of our numbers] we have plenty of food, but not drinks so probably best to bring your own drinks. its open invite, we have flyers out but they didnt quite make it far enough in time with the whole ohio trip in the middle of things so many may have heard already, many may not have whatever. yall are all welcome to come out unless you are just a weird creepy inter net person or jessica stewert.

(3 dead muthafucka | bust a cap) [01 Jun 2004|09:44am] [ music | Starchild - Wings ] i just got home and much too tired to update but dont forget that motherfucking WATCH THEM DIE is tonight at dixie. i am giddy like a something thats real giddy but just about as witty as a retarded kid right about now.

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