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Laura's Journal
reyn47: think of this
reyn47: i am always with you
reyn47: in your heart
reyn47: and you are always in mine
reyn47: love ya lots
patrick broke up with me.
because god is not entirely cruel, chris is still there waiting for me.
his away message after we got off the phone last night:
"That other girl, or other women, whatever, I'm thinking they're just fantasies, you know? And they always seem really great because there's never any problems, and if there are, they're cute problems, like, you know, we bought each other the same Christmas present. And then I come home, and we have real problems. And they've got lingerie. You've got great lingerie, but you also have the cotton underwear that's been washed a 1000 times and its hanging on the thing. And they have it too, it's just that I don't have to see it, because it's not in the fantasy, do you understand? I'm tired of the fantasy, because it doesn't really exist, and they're never really any surprises, and it never really delivers. And I'm tired of it. And I'm tired of everything else, for that matter.
But I don't ever seem to get tired of you, so..."
Current mood: sad and grateful all at once.
Which Disney Princess are you?
what? what in heavens name is the country thinking? namely, my two homes, minnesota and massachusetts. theres a REASON i live where i do. my liberal states. i LIKED your politics. WHAT HAPPENED?? grrrr. and now theres republicans ruling everything....EVERYTHING. to quote brandon heath (i know, its a shock to me too that brandon was talking about politics), its really not a good plan to have one party ruling everything. arg. norm coleman? mitt romney? who elects them??
on an entirely different note......................IM GOING HOME.
THIS WEEKEND.
TOMORROW.
holy cow. ive been not happy this week and i decided yesterday during history that i couldnt be here this weekend and i had to go home. its a long weekend, and once again, everyone is going home. being here alone sucks and i just couldnt deal with it. so its costing my like $200 and my parents $280. yikes, i know, but its absolutely necessary.
so i fly out tomorrow night (have to switch flights and spend 3 hrs in Midway each way...blechh) and get there around midnight, then i leave monday afternoon and get back to boston at about 11 pm. IM CRAZY. but very excited. i havent been home for 9 weeks, i couldnt make it 6 more straight. sucky thing: im JUST MISSING ingrid, she leaves on thursday. its horrid. besides her, i've only told katie that im coming home. i dont know if i really want to see anyone else. i dont have time to see everyone and i dont want to have to choose who im going to see or not. so i'll just stick to katie and the parents. im so excited.
i forgot to write earlier about my conversation with brandon the other night. i called him cause adam said brandon had said he missed me and wanted me to call him, and we talked for 2 and a half hours. hes very very unhappy. i wanna give him a hug. maybe i'll see him for a sec this weekend so i can give him a hug, i dont know. i just wish i could do something to help him.
that same night i also talked to chris until 6 am. it was hard. i dont wanna talk about it cause its not clear in my head yet. he calls me every night again to say goodnight.
i have to go now and print out my ticket information for tomorrow..........AHHHHHH.
Current mood:
relieved.Current music: lovelife - atmosphere.
**I need: my check card, something to drink, to do my homework
**I find: procrastination a very easy temptation to fall into
**I want: cake
**I have: a wonderful boyfriend
**I wish: that i could go home for thanksgiving
**I love: my mom, my dad, and ingrid
**I hate: school related stress
**I miss: ingrid, food from my house, target
**I fear: getting hurt
**I feel: dirty
**I hear: my old brandon mix
**I smell: nothing, im stuffed up
**I crave: never-ending patrick hugs
**I search: for my check card
**I wonder: who misses me
**I regret: reading old livejournals
When was the last time you ...
**Smiled?: at patrick, a half hour ago
**Laughed?: see above
**Cried?: wednesday night
**Bought something?: mcdonalds, yesterday
**Danced?: hmm, not for awhile
**Were sarcastic?: never!
**Kissed someone?: approximently a half hour ago
**Talked to an ex?: brandon on the phone 10 min ago
**Watched your favorite movie?: a few weeks ago
**Had a nightmare?: tuesday night
**Last book you read: "the longman reader" for english
**Last movie you saw: road trip, friday night
**Last song you heard: tracy chapman 'the promise'
**Last thing you had to drink: water
**Last time you showered: last night
**Last thing you ate: a reese's peanut butter cup
Current mood:
nostalgic.Current music: the promise - tracy chapman.
i just read lots of my livejournals from last year. my life was so much more INTERESTING last year. i wonder why that is. its not necessarily a good thing, i've always noticed that i update much less when im happy, and ive been happy this year. more so then last year. reading the journals from the andy times still gives my stomach a little tug.
its been weird, recently ive been talking to more people from home. in addition to nick, both adam dunn and matt daves have gone to great lengths to find me. it makes me feel a bit loved.
currently, im waiting for patrick to get back from new hampshire, where he went for the day. i think im going to do laundry and maybe homework?? ugg,i dont like homework. but i suppose its necessary.
oh, and my roommate is dropping out of school next semester. this means i will most likely get a new roommate. could be interesting.
Current mood: waiting.
Current music: colorblind - counting crows.
its so much work to update. and i dont really have time to do it. if im not in class or at work, im with betsy and alex or patrick. my life is full full full. and happy happy happy. well, except for the whole academic nonsense. AND the fact that i've lost/misplaced my check card. thats no good. oh yeah, and im still sick too. but other then that, its quality.
id have to credit that mostly to patrick. my peej, my patrick james, my high-maintenance manfredi. we are so immersed in the giddy stage, its ridiculous. we have declared our relationship "serious" and just went on our first real date(poor college kids cant do that much). its so perfect right now, i dont even want to talk about it. id rather just grin.
so i will.
Current mood:
happy.
excerpt from rolling stone interview with avril lavigne:
rolling stone: do you consider yourself a feminist?
avril: I don't really know. What exactly is that?
rolling stone: Basically, it means that you think women and men should be treated as equals.
Current mood:
aggravated.
what can i do?
lungs are breathing open air
my spleen is dripping from my pants
what can i do?
left me in the cold
and i miss you!
Current music: costa rica - saves the day.
holy buckets. reese's peanut butter cups are absolutely addicting. this is fucking ridiculous. i've had over 10 or 15 today already. MAKE ME STOP.
also? why is it that every time i turn on the radio sk8ter boi is on? is the song enjoy stalking me? i dont enjoy it.
this has definately been the worst week academically all year. i've managed to screw up in every single class. HORRID. im just going to appeal to my parents to remember my good grades in high school. i'm very very torn because ive had a horrible school week
but a great everything else week. patrick james manfredi? this is what i came to college for. what was i doing wasting my time with freshman boys when there were old people 4 floors above me who have moved on from the 'musthavedifferentrandomhookupeverynight'
dont ask about chris, i dont know.
i need to empty my trash and revise an english paper.
oh and my roommate went home last night, but didnt bother to tell me or leave me a note or anything. i had to find out from onr of my suitemates. and i have no idea when shes coming back OR why she left. i definately dont mind her being gone (sleepovers yay!) but i do mind that she didnt feel that it was necessary to tell me. weird.
paper time.
Current mood:
full.Current music: kiss 108.