| burning like fire |
[25 May 2004|12:42pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 sore |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Hayley Westenra - Bright Eyes |
] |
I still don't have much of interest to say. Apologies.
I hate it when I have really good dreams -- you know, the ones where something really awesome happens and it feels so real that you wake up thinking that it actually did happen? Because I'll wake up, rub the sleep out of my eyes, say, "Fuck. That was just a dream, wasn't it?" and be sad. Y'see, in the dream, I was trying so hard not to smile after the whole ordeal out of fear of looking like an idiot. Then I had to go and face this huge (HUGE!) group of people and it went from awesome to shitty. I hate that.
So... uh... in other news, I hate job applications.
In other other news, meeting new people is cool (*waves at ![[info]](http://library.vu.edu.pk/cgi-bin/nph-proxy.cgi/000100A/http/web.archive.org/web/20040607015238im_/http:/=2fstat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) byzantium*), just... not the circumstances. =\
Lah?
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| Master, sir, did you just see my MAD SKILLZ?! |
[15 May 2004|09:07pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 happy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Robbie Williams - How Peculiar |
] |
I, apparently, have "mad writing skills."
*flattered*
For me, compliments always feel best when coming from strangers. No sugar coating like some of my friends tend to do (...the nice ones, at least) to make me feel better. And this was something I worked really hard on, so it's nice to see that others appreciate my efforts.
Yay and stuff.
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| fuck you, sun! |
[15 May 2004|06:04pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 hot |
] |
Not having anything to say kind of sucks.
The weather also sucks. I want my air conditioner back.
*melts* ._.
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| hmm |
[06 May 2004|11:26am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 contemplative |
] |
| [ |
music |
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twittle-ittle-ee~ |
] |
May is, apparently, HD Awareness Month. Heh. You learn something new every day.
*sprinkles awareness on everyone like fairy dust*
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[04 May 2004|10:49pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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crampy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Robbie Williams - Me and My Monkey |
] |
Recurring nightmares involving my father. Cramps. Conversations about Mother's Day. Boyfriend being an ass. General... stuff, yeah.
Am not a happy bunny right now, needless to say.
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| well, fuck |
[26 Apr 2004|11:43am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 pissed off |
] |
My computer decided to wish me a happy anniversary by puking and refusing to boot. Methinks I'm going to have to format and reinstall Windows, which I'm not quite willing to do just yet. I had around twenty or thirty pages written of my story-thing, which I conveniently forget to back up to a floppy. I want those pages back, dammit. Stupid asshole machine.
So I shall be taking this opportunity to play lots of video games and maybe clean my room. Then, when my brother is done studying for his calculus final, I will bother him to do some fixings.
Happy two years to us. D: Am not in sappy mood, am not spending large amounts of time on shitty computer just to write something sappy.
Adios!
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[26 Apr 2004|04:26am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
amused |
] |
Yahoo! I win!
Oh, yes, definitely going to bed now.
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| i'm losing half my soul to face the world alone |
[24 Apr 2004|11:45am] |
| [ |
mood |
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lonely |
] |
Whenever I'm in a shitty mood late at night, I always get told to go to bed because I'll feel better after I get some rest.
That seems to have had the opposite effect here. I think it's because now that I'm actually awake and capable of intelligible thought, the reality of the situation has sunk in. And it hurts like a motherfucker.
I'd like to sleep the day away, please.
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| asdflkjs;lkd xDD |
[18 Apr 2004|01:18am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
amused |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Harry and the Potters - Wizard Chess |
] |
Eeeeee, I almost forgot. I had the most fucked up dream EVER last night.
Sailor Moon (specifically, PGSM) meets the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I think it was just Usagi, Ami, and Rei using the cell phones to turn into the turtles, though it wasn't clear on who was who. I imagine Usagi = Michelangelo, Ami = Leonardo, and Rei = Raphael. And, you know, there was fighting and bad CG effects and Luna, the talking stuffed kitty.
The best part? The transformation sequence: Turtle Power, make up!
Best dream ever. Even better than the one with random celebrities playing basketball at my house.
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| stay on the outside |
[13 Apr 2004|07:23pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
creative |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Lisa Loeb - How |
] |
...Wow. I haven't been proud of something I've written in... like... a really long time. Not since I wrote this way back when, at least, and that wasn't very good.
It's a short, strange scene in a story that, for the most part, sucks ass, but I like the way it was done. *gives self a pat on the back*
And, no, I'm not showing any of you 'cause I'm secretive like that. xP
Also, happy birthday to a very super kid! <3
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| good intentions lost in thin air |
[08 Apr 2004|10:50pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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aggravated |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Yuki Kajiura - Cynical World |
] |
Oh yes. This is what I hate about writing.
So I'm writing a story. Or, rather, trying to. I haven't done this in a very, very long time, because I suck at it. The best I've ever been able to do is fanfic -- I suck at being original, so it's nice to be given characters and settings and background and whatnot to work with.
I have fifty thousand ideas floating around in my head, and I can't think of a way to string them all together. This will, eventually, lead to me getting excited and rushing through the damn thing. It always happens. Nearly everything I've written was rushed; that's why my work is always crappy. Because I lack the patience to put continuous effort into it.
I swear... this week it feels like God (or whoever might be up there) has been teaming up with the rest of the world to piss me off. And the best part? It's working quite well.
alksdjf *sets something on fire*
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| Mmkay. |
[01 Apr 2004|04:13am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 i have no idea |
] |
lj_serialadder amuses me for some strange reason.
I think this means that I need sleep. Badly. Very, very badly.
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| ever feel like the world is out to get you? |
[30 Mar 2004|12:17pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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bitchy |
] |
Am not having a good day.
My washing machine is being weird, a wooden sunflower (one of Tam's other obsessions -- roosters/chickens, mermaids, dolls, and sunflowers) fell on my foot, and I banged my elbow on some... board... thing. I am in pain, but sheets are being washed. So... yay, I guess.
Also, everyone should go talk to my boyfriend in Al Bhed. Ed dinhc res uh. Ur pypo, ur pypo.
...And I'm probably going to die for that, but najahka ec cfaad.
aaaaaand happy birthday to my favorite lesbian lover who hates me and dumped me for Jerry. :{
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| she's gonna find her way |
[29 Mar 2004|02:32am] |
| [ |
mood |
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blank |
] |
Hey, people.
If you really feel like being all generous and whatnot, go do something nice for someone who deserves it, eh?
Freakin' weirdos.
In other news, I'm bleeding. No, not like that. That's not for a couple days. I think.
In other other news, my anniversary with Adam is in about a month. I want to do something special. Seeing as he won't allow me to buy/send anything, I am le stumped. ...Fucking internet.
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| this is clearly a sign of the impending apocalypse |
[24 Mar 2004|01:44pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 not bad, actually |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Savage Garden - Affirmation |
] |
I feel pretty. If only I had somewhere to go and be pretty. Le dramatic sigh.
Also, I have a new nickname: Alka Seltzer. Because that's what my AIM name is reminiscent of, apparently. Ash is a dork. Or maybe I just need a new screen name. ;o But I'm much too lazy for that.
I feel like singing~
Lele.
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| I can't sleep. |
[23 Mar 2004|03:34am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 discontent |
] |
Too many thoughts in my head. Most All of them are angst-ridden, PMS-induced, or just downright depressing, because I suck like that.
I keep thinking of my father. How I used to be able to go into his room when he was watching TV or whatever and just... hug him. Whenever I felt the need to do so, I would just go to him and ask for a hug. And he would always say okay and hold me as long as I wanted. I don't do that anymore for a number of reasons, and, needless to say, I miss it.
And it was the only way he could cheer me up, too; he has always sucked at talking to me about... well, anything, really. He would always try to coax me into telling him what my problem was, and when I finally spoke up? He'd avoid the situation by saying that he can't handle "girl stuff" and that I should talk to Paulette and/or whoever his girlfriend was at the time. Just. Gah. Rage. And the best part: I don't recall ever going to him about any sort of 'girlie' problems.
And don't even get me started on the so-called sex talks. Jeez.
It's upsetting to think of that. He is all that I have... or he was all that I had. I don't know. My mother left us, my grandmother died (she sucked at being comforting as well, but she was good with hugs too -- suppose that's where Dad got it from), most of my friends (pardon me, the "offline" ones, though the number online has been dwindling for quite some time) have abandoned me or have been cut off in some way, I'm not close to anyone in my family, and my boyfriend isn't around to provide random hugs (and, let's face it, he probably won't be for a very long time).
I miss my daddy.
And I'm going to shut up as not to upset myself any further. Or bore you all to death. Whichever.
'Night.
ps this does a fine job of summing up how i feel right now i think D:
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| !!!!! |
[11 Mar 2004|12:35am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 surprised |
] |
"hey Allison"
It's been two and a half years since I last spoke to Dee (a day or two after I moved, actually), but... did she really forget how to spell my name? ;_;
Now, excuse me while I die of shock. I met this girl in seventh or eighth grade, and she was one of my favoritestest people in the world in my first two years of high school. Then I moved and never saw her again. I guess Jill gave her my screen name? Took her long enough.
Damn. She talks like a typical internet newbie (with the shorthand and whatnot x_x), but... :D! I missed her. Maybe I can see her over the summer or something. *hopeful*
Heeeee. That made my day.
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| Emo Kid to the rescue! |
[03 Mar 2004|07:33pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
amused |
] |
( I'm sorry... I couldn't resist. )
attack gerbils <3 Erm. Anyway.
This is interesting. (And some code to post if you want; I myself can't be bothered.) What they're suggesting looks like what GreatestJournal has -- booting people from your friend of list. But I dunno... some of these people seem a wee bit paranoid. And it's not like removing yourself from a person's friends list can stop them from reading your journal (unless you're friends only, of course). Heck, I look at non-friends' journals whenever I get bored. I'm not a stalker. I just like reading stuff.
lalala.
I've been too moody lately. Maybe it's a good thing that I haven't been talking to many people lately.
Also, my sleeping pattern is messed up again. So tired. Must fix.
That is all.
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| ugh |
[01 Mar 2004|11:23pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sad |
] |
Why are all of the cool people being such assholes lately? Maybe they're not so cool after all.
...Or maybe it's just my period talking. Either way, though, I do not appreciate being talked to like I'm some kind of idiot.
Le sigh.
Did a whole lot of crying tonight, but I'll just blame it on the time of the month. Yeah, that's a good excuse. For the guys, at least, and I live with two of them. So it's okay.
...Except okay hi I'm really scared. I've been thinking about that lately for some reason. But I'm tired of talking about it. Talking does shit, really.
Oh well.
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| :[ |
[27 Feb 2004|06:14pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 annoyed |
] |
AIM won't let me on any of my screen names.
sob.
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